so utterly sick of it

[Pixie]

*If you have never BF or are wondering about extended BF don't go by what I am about to say, it's probably a phase*

I am ****ing over BF I hate it I have been kidding myself for at least 8 weeks. Every feed hurts, thank god she has cut down but she has started to have these bloody night wakings where she normally feeds obviously I have no milk left so we get up and she has 280mls of cows milk warmed up. But of course to get to sleep she wants to still suck it's making my skin crawl I have more then once said OK that's it to her no more I can't do this her teeth the forceful sucking as she tries to get something out, last night she lay on me and cried I felt nothing but relief and although I hate hearing her grizzle it was somehow better then BF her.

I really wish that was the last BF I don't want to feed her when she wakes up or goes down for a nap, it's getting so stressful for me last night I had such painful braxton hicks I was crying and the pains were so sharp :(

So what do I do? Just continue to give her the cows milk when she wakes up or do I have to give her artificial breast milk = formula

Usually she asks for the milk in the night, during the day she has water or a smoothie when she wants a drink.

I wish this wasn't the way I felt, also I have thoughts of not extended BF with the next one it's really putting me off completly. I know pregnancy has a lot to do with how I feel.:crying::crying::crying:

[AM]

:hugs: Been there, can empathise completely. How old is your daughter?

It is a tough road, nursing while pregnant, no doubt about it.

[neostudded]

Aww :hugs:

I really really admire you for going though what you have, how long is it until your EDD?

[♥Heaven Sent♥]

I went through this a few days ago and can feel a little of your pain.I think i might be pregnant although im not sure.I just wanted to give up then and there as i had no milk.I was trying to give him cows milk but he would take a sip and then want to go back to boob and he was just hanging off me all day.

Ever since he has been going at it everytime he sees me he wants it.

I feel so frustrated,i don't really know if im pregnant or if it would start like this so early?But yeah a bit confused as i really dont know if i will be able to put up with that through a whole pregnancy.

You will get through it hun you have put up with it for this long :hugs: i take my hat off to you.

[Pixie]

AM she is 20 months

Neo I am due in May so bloody ages!!!

[neostudded]

AM she is 20 months

Neo I am due in May so bloody ages!!!
Thats too bad pixie I was hoping it would be sooner than that :hugs:

[neostudded]

I dont know much on the issue, but would nipple shelds help?

[stellarella]

Oh darling :hugs::hugs:

Sounds awful....

Makes me not want to fall pregnant now :(

It might be a phase, it might not. Just don't feel guilty for the way you feel and take each feed/day as it comes.

[the_queen]

:hugs: Pix :hugs:

There's a name for what you're going through - Breastfeeding Aversion, the ABA has info about it, and although I haven't breastfed while pregnant, my friends who have say they have all gone through this. It passes, and there are ways to deal with it until it passes. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[*Chels*]

I havent feed while pg,but I know where you are coming from!
DS has had a temp that last day,so has been wanting boobie heaps.My nipples are killing me!!!:mad:
I have been giving him cows milk the last few months as a replacement for boobie.
I want to wean but I dont force the issue.Sometimes he has some boobie,and then gets off and asks for milk or water.We have come along way because he has always refused milk when I first tried to introduce it!!
Don't feel bad,theres no harm in sharing boobie with cows milk(well I dont think so)

[Pixie]

Neo I am not sure they might help unless I rip my tits off lol

Stella it was a concern of mine when we were trying but I never read about Breast aversion as Queenie mentioned only they stop feeding or they continue, I knew it would be painful at times but it's making me plain right out furious I am actually getting angry and stressed. I have been using Bach flower remedy to help.

Queenie thanks I am going to go look it up now, I have been having this on and off but like I said it's been a while now and I have been telling myself to get over it but it's affecting my mental state and that's already very fragile lol

Chels you're right especially at this age she only started to stomach cows milk around 16 months now well she loves it more with chocolate in it though lol

[reAllytee]

Oh the joys that pregnancy brings hey !

Some days you enjoy everything & others even your other half breathing causes you to become psycho !

Hopefully some of the other mums will be around to talk to you about it but i do believe its common.

Rainbowbrite struggled with it for ages & i think it was OM who did too from memory so you arent alone in how you are feeling :hugs:

[Nex]

I've never BF, so I can't say I'm any expert. But my first thought at this post was..."why doesn't she stop?"

I feel very much that it's YOUR body, not your childs. She is 20 mths and has had long advantage of it, she'll adapt just fine without it!

It's YOU that needs to be the focus again for a little while...be a bit selfish.

You have already begun to resent it, why prolong it?

[Rainbowbrite]

Wow, Nex, sorry but you have NO idea.

Anyway, Nat :hugs: :hugs::hugs: Been there, FINALLY over that, so know exactly what your feeling. Unfortunately though I have no real advice, sorry :( I fed MJ about twice a day till the day before I had Anakin. I would put it off till there was no other way to keep her quiet it hurt so bad. Then I would limit it so only short feeds.

MJ's only fed a handful of times since & as much as I hate to say it, thats too much. Thankfully its only to "see if she likes it" which she doesn't. She still hurts me, she doesn't seem to know how to feed anymore.

I hope you can either get her to reduce or stop :hugs:

PM me anytime hun.

[Pixie]

Sorry Nex but you obviously don't have any idea! You can't just stop, + Yes it's my body but my DD is number 1 and I believe in child led weaning.

RB I never offer her to feed I wait until she asks but sometimes it's to much! I guess I will have to bear on through gritted teeth, she slept through last night of course I woke a billion times!

[stellarella]

Yep, sorry Nex but as the others have said, you really don't get it obviously!

Anyway, I understand your struggle Pixie.

I am pretty sure every mum who BFs through pregnancy goes through this.

I am pretty sure Eliza will just drop off over time if thats what you encourage her to do.

I had heard of BFing Aversion before TTC. In fact I have read a lot about it because I have been preparing for tandem nursing for quite a while.

It must be very sad for you to have these feelings when you love your daughter so much. I can only imagine how emotional this is for you.

[Pippi Longstocking]

It does indeed sound very much like breastfeeding aversion. Which is good because it means it will pass. :hugs:
Keep up with the bach flower remedies and maybe try some relaxation techniques while you feed? Maybe you could try explaining to her in simple terms that mummy has sore boobies and she needs to be very gentle.

And Nex, the others pretty much said what I was thinking. To a lot of women, breastfeeding is very important. We feel that a child has a greater right to breast milk than we have the "right" to keep our boobs milkfree. Breastmilk is a child's birth-right. Many of us want to protect that right as best we can. We love feeding our toddlers, we love seeing them grow healthy and strong on our milk, we love how much they love it, we love the whole package. Most of us would not "just quit" because "she'll adapt fine without it". You're right, that would be selfish. And that isn't really an admirable trait when talking about parenting.

Pixie, you are doing a fabulous job. Look after yourself, and remind yourself that this will pass. :hugs:

[Nex]

OK yes I agree that I don't get it. I havn't BF yet as this is my first.

But I did think that it needed to be said. The frustration Pixie is feeling is not good for her and perhaps she needs support to tell her it's ALSO OK to stop if she wants too!

:hugs: Pixie, you wouldn't have posted if you didn't want reassurance either way. Hope you come to a conclusion that makes YOU happy.

[DonnaL]

I think it's completely up to you and you don't have to feel guilty for your choices. If you really want to continue to breastfeed, there's lots of help available to get you through this time. If you decide that it's time to move on, then you've done a fabulous job in feeding for 20 months, it's much more than many babies ever get. It's so important to do the best thing for your babies, but also don't forget yourself x

[Pixie]

Well I still have the same feelings but not quite as bad. Guv I took your advice and now while feeding I do yoga breathing and take myself off a bit. She is down to 3 feeds a day now sometimes 4 TBH I really think there is nothing there at all and she just comfort sucks to sleep as that's the only times we're feeding.

Which makes me wonder when the self settling will start :p

I am so glad this journey of BF is nearly over her hopefully my passion for it will return when the newbie arrives. The thoughts of FF have been rampant in my mind. I know in my heart I will BF the next one it's just right now I am disliking it so much!

Also the constant twiddling of the other nipple drives me up the wall and then if I don't allow her access to it she has a huge tanty so I give in!

Stella I hope I am not putting you off any more lol

Still 20 months of feeding I am proud of myself and Eliza :D

[stellarella]

Well its too late now as I am UTD! :smiliedance:

I will just take each day and each feed as they come.
So far so good. No sore nipples which is different to my pregnancy to Oscar and no drop in supply. I am still loving it- today that is. :D

[Pixie]

Yep my nipples were tender from 8-13ish weeks and then from 16 -18 weeks.

So you due in Sept or August?