Do you want your child to go to childcare? [Archive] - Bub Hub Pregnancy & Parenting Forum

SassyMummy

17-12-2007, 15:42

I did decide even before I was pregnant (and I wasn't even looking to become a parent at the time), that I did not want my baby in childcare, and that I wanted to be a SAHM. Perhaps having a SAHM for 12 years myself led me to believe that this is the absolute optimum way to raise your child. I've sacrificed financially by doing this... but I do feel that in the long run, it will benefit my daughter.

Now that she is 2, I am considering childcare as a once-a-week event, to give me time to do things I need to do, as well as to enable her to have a break from me too. Considering my partner works such long hours, it's only on his days off that I get a break from her (not after work or before work), and even then, he mostly wants to spend his day resting to catch up on missed sleep.

Having her in childcare one day a week, would mean that I could do things I miss doing (going to the movies - even if only by myself), things I can't do very well with her (shopping for clothing/bras/etc for myself, grocery shopping, running errands, etc), and things I just WANT to do for us as a family (like learning to drive).

So no, I don't really want her in childcare... but I am considering it for 1 day a week.

Noah_and_Elijah

17-12-2007, 15:44

No. I wanted to be a SAHM and that's what I am going to be.

I think it's important for children to have their Mothers home with with during the first 5 years of their life.

My children's first childcare experiance is going to be at Kindergarten three days a week at around age four.

~Bec~

17-12-2007, 15:50

Sheer Bliss

17-12-2007, 15:52

Yes. I love being a SAHM, (hence why i took 12months mat leave with DD, and 22 with DS) but as much as i live my children, they cannot stimulate my brain or my social needs in a way that i need to remain sane. So considering I always intended on returning to work, childcare was the best option (family caring fro them is not practical, due to their work commitments & location).

That being said - I never imagined that being a SAHM could fulfill me as much as it has, so going back to work 3days a week has worked out perfectly. DS is 8months now, and i can't imagine having to leave him in 12months time - but there are days where my brain feels so 'blah' and i know that it needs a good work-out.

It is not for everyone - i don't want to bag SAHM, or working parents. However much like our babies, we all have different needs and part of having a happy/healthy family is keeping the parents happy & sane as well as the children.

DD is still in daycare one day a week - giving DS some one-on-one time with me, that she had so much of as the first child. DS won't go until just before i return to work.

Percy

17-12-2007, 16:18

QTB

17-12-2007, 16:26

i love being a SAHM. but he needed social interaction with other kiddies his age (all my friends kids are way younger than him) and he was falling behind in everything (coping the babies, crawling again, dummy, bottle etc)

now that hes in daycare a few days a week hes going back to the way he was, hes matured sooo much and is a pleasent child to ave around again :D

Dea

17-12-2007, 16:32

all mine have been in daycare !!! my youngest dd is 3 in march & goes to family daycare 4 days a week!!! as i work ... but that is what i have to do .. not what i want but its what is needed at this point

SweetSerenity

17-12-2007, 16:49

I voted Yes.

I want peter to go more for the social side.

I am planning on sending him one day a week for four hours or a bit less just so he can interract with other children and learn from them.

Once he is toilet trained though he will be going to preschool :)

forbetoel

17-12-2007, 16:53

I voted No.

I hate childcare, I have worked in childcare, and I simply cannot and will not leave my children with people all day who are just doing their job, and have no actual love for my child. It is really important for me to know thtat my children are always in the care of someone who loves them, and that someone is me. :D

Manxie

17-12-2007, 16:58

I voted no. I spent a month in a childcare centre as part of my nursing training in the UK and vowed that no child of mine would ever go into one of those "institutions". Apologies to all those who have their children in childcare. To put it bluntly I was quite shocked by what I saw.

We do lots of different things and DD has plenty of social interaction with other children in a wide range of ages. She has excellent social skills.

I may look at leaving her at occassional care every now and then when she turns three but it will only be for a couple of hours every fortnight. This is at the place where she goes to playgroup and where she will go to kindy.

Fuchsia!

17-12-2007, 17:00

yes? Jax goes 2 days a week to give me a break and for him to hang out with other kids. And Cooper will probably be going 1 day a week when he is a little older?

Does that mean im not a stay at home mum? I don't understand?

HaydensMummy

17-12-2007, 17:06

absolutely no way.

i know it sounds horrible but as an ex childcare worker it is horryfing the way some of the children are treated by staff - the things some parents don't see :mad:

i like to think i did everything in the childs best interest while working,
however i know for a fact children get yelled at , some even hit and the heigene is disgusting.

don't get me wrong some place are great, but its hard to find them when the bad staff hide things from parents.

forbetoel

17-12-2007, 17:09

i know it sounds horrible but as an ex childcare worker it is horryfing the way some of the children are treated by staff - the things some parents don't see :mad:

.

That is pretty much a big chunk of why I have the opinion I do also.

HaydensMummy

17-12-2007, 17:12

That is pretty much a big chunk of why I have the opinion I do also.

i know i have so many stories of things i have seen other staff members do that is just awful and unfortunately reporting it to the director sometimes just doen't work.
and in somecases its the director that does the wrong thing and for some reason the area manager supports them!:mad:

melbryan

17-12-2007, 17:16

I vote yes. I have had a loving mother look after my children since i returned to work part time, I am now ready to put my nearly 4 yr old in to pre-school I want him to be ready for school in a couple of years so he will attend 2 days a week. He needs to learn how it will be at school, concentration time, listening to teachers etc so yep I think it is valuable in that way but they only need a mum type or someone who loves them right in the beginning.
All I hear is I'm telling my dad on you he won't be able to say that to his teachers.

Ffrenchknickers

17-12-2007, 17:16

Nope....for alot of the reasons stated above:)

cheezelkat

17-12-2007, 17:27

Yes. But my opinion only came to this after DS turned 18 months - prior I was very anti-childcare.

Since starting, his social skills and confidence are improving, he doesn't need encouragement to eat healthy foods and he gets to experience lots of activities.

I sent him because I am pregnant and was having trouble entertaining him whilst dealing with morning sickness. We have a lovely centre where I can chat to all the staff about his day and they have lots of interaction between age groups.

Mariposa

17-12-2007, 17:56

I voted yes. :D

DD1 started going when she was 3. My hours at work increased, and my mum couldnt do the full days, At first it was hard for her, but she soon settled in. It also helped prepare her for preschool.

DD2 started going earlier (16mths) for the same reason as above. Have had no troubles whatsoever with the centre that she is at. In actual fact I can't recommend them highly enough. She has learnt so much from the interaction with other kids at an earlier age aswell.

DD3 is on the waiting list. Next year my hours will be increasing again, but I prefer to send her then (she will be around 19mths) as with when DD2 went (and still is) I can see the benefits, and are wanting them for her also.

For me personally, I love being at home with my kids, but I also love the fact that my work is my me time. As well as the children getting interaction with other kids.

(I could rave on and on, but enough said :D)

jennababe

17-12-2007, 18:10

i put yes i want him to go..

although no its not going to happen for a while.

about a month ago now i tried to put him in childcare for 2 days a week. as they said one day would take to long for him to get used to it..

anyway he ended up going for 3 days over 2 weeks and unfortunately it was distressing him to much, and he was getting seperation anxiety although he has never been a very clingy boy.

it just didnt agree with him and affected his mood to much. he would cry everytime i left the room. and i couldnt get him to sleep in his cot for a week he was in my bed.

it ended up taking 2 weeks to get him back to normal.

i wanted him to go so i could have a break plus go back to work. and also i know its good for them to be around other children.

but for now, i have mummy friends with kids, and go to playgroup when i can.

and just wont be able to go back to work for a while. but id rather him be a happy boy in a good routine, rather then a distressed upset boy who clings off me all day just so i could have a break one day a week.

he just wasnt ready, possibly try at age 2 and see how it goes.

Seekrit

17-12-2007, 18:13

Well... no... but it's a need so yes... he goes... I don't know how to vote :S

No, I don't want him to go.... but I need to go to work so Yes, I want him to go for that..

Hmmm... I think it's a yes from me really because he COULD be a MILs all the time that I work. :p

draught

17-12-2007, 18:38

Tough question - in an ideal world no, but I need to work, so yes.
I don't think they need it for socialising - kindy and playgroup provide that.

SalTheGal

17-12-2007, 18:40

Yes....my son already goes to childcare 4days per week.

Even if/when I have another child and I am at home I will hold his place for 1-2days per week as i think he gets great benefit from it.

mum23girls

17-12-2007, 19:08

Yes. I have never seen anything wrong with sending a child to childcare.

subaruforestermum

17-12-2007, 19:13

I voted YES...not on a full term basis, but now he is olde, he wants child interaction and loves the gym playgroup, but its not very structural!

I have been a working mum, but my hours have been so I can keep him OUT of daycare/childcare, as I wanted to be the one who raised him, not a stranger!

But now, I have been looking for a while, and just found a place that feels right! But hwne we move I think it will be beneficial for him!

Freya

17-12-2007, 19:15

In my ideal situation there would be no chance of me ever sending him to child care, but as a single mother there will come a time when I will need to as hard as it is and as much as it saddens me.:( I want to make a good life for him and without a father contributing at all I have to do it all on my own, I will try to hold off from sending him as long as I can but I know it will have to happen eventually.:( I don't want to be on the dole for too much longer.

JATS

17-12-2007, 19:22

No

I don't but I am being pressured to (by DH :no:) so I can do more on my photography and take paid clients. DH also thinks it's be good for socializing Tom. I'm resisting as long as possible.:raspberry:

I know very well what happens in some facilities (of course that aren't all like that) and given that Tom may end up being our only child (TTC issues) I want to realx and enjoy his growing up.

ThisIsLiving

17-12-2007, 20:46

No. My children are at home with me. I make sure that we do lots of socialising through playgroups, swimming classes, playdates with friends.

DD is off to 4-year-old kindergarten 2.5 days per week next year. My plan is for DS to remain at home with me too until he too commences 4-year-old kindergarten.

We make lots of sacrifices so I can stay at home but honestly we wouldn't have it any other way.

borntobemummy

17-12-2007, 22:00

no, for a lot of the reasons others have stated. We are probably going to be homeschooling anyway as well. I have worked at a number of centres too, and after what I have seen, I don't want my children going there. It is true, from what I have seen that they put on a show when parents are around.

Jeclipse

17-12-2007, 22:12

No, I don't plan on sending DS to childcare, I have alot of trust issues with who looks after him.

bigglet

17-12-2007, 23:36

My DD goes to childcare 2 days a week and thrives very well and I love how the carers teach her a lot and she has a lot of activities to keep her busy.

There are pros and cons of course - one being that her nap time at care only goes for an hour (they don't wake her up but with the noise of the other children she wakes up on her own) so by the time she comes home she is overtired and cranky in a way whereas when she is at home she has 3 hour naps.

In my mums group you can certainly tell the difference between the kids that go to childcare and the ones that don't :p

I am a product of childcare - I was put in care from 9 months old full time which wasn't very common in the late 70's/early 80's - we didn't have the before/after school care either.

I do believe because I was put in care early I am a very independent person - I remember on my first day of school in prep being annoyed at all the other children whining and crying at being separated from their mothers... I just wanted to get on with it!! LOL :D

zenifa

18-12-2007, 00:29

Dh and I decided that we would not put DD1 into childcare before she was 2. Although I have done stints of part time work since she was 5mths, she was always in the care of my mum or MIL, which all 3 have enjoyed.
Now I have a new baby (almost 3mths) and DD1 will start 2 days/week at childcare next year, despite me not working. We were offered a place at one of the best centres in our area so we thought it would be good for DD1 and for me, so I can spend some one on one time with DD2, and for DD1's socialisation.
Yes we go on playdates, swimming, library storytime and playgroup, but I think her socialisation will be different when mum/dad aren't there. We've been a few times now for a visit and play and DD1 has enjoyed it, and is learning some good things already.
We thought it may be best to start her before I go back to work, so if she doesn't like it, there is no pressure we can remove her. As its getting closer to her starting, I am feeling a bit apprehensive about it, as I'm not used to leaving her with strangers, so we'll see.

Like Bigglet, I remember going to daycare (late 1970s) and starting school (1980), I agree it made me more social and independent - I didn't cry on my 1st day, I was excited to go and play with the kids!!

However it is a personal choice and I can understand reasons behind both sides. I love being a SAHM to my girls, but can see the benefits of some childcare. Personally I could not contemplate full time child care for my children, and am lucky that $$ we haven't had to do that at this stage.

Ffrenchknickers

18-12-2007, 04:08

:We are probably going to be homeschooling anyway as well. ance::smiliedance:

Areca

18-12-2007, 04:29

No, not for us. My kids don't need it for the socialisation and I don't want them in childcare all day, even if it's just for one day. We're moving to live cheaper to keep the kids out of childcare (one wage and all that). It's just what feels right for us, I don't care what others do!

rynosmum

18-12-2007, 05:34

Our DS is in childcare 3 days per week, generally from 9 - 2:30.

It works well for us, he is really opening up with his friends and he's currently learning about the world (comes home saying hello to me in Indian and Chinese etc). He loves it and often asks if I can come and pick him up later because he's having too much fun :confused::laughing:

Feeling comfortable with the centre is paramount. Where he goes, they are like family, I have never had a cause to be concerned about his treatment or discipline. Trust is essential.:yes:

Benji

18-12-2007, 11:40

I voted no, I would not put my son in childcare but this is ust for my family - because of my own anxieties.

I don't understand where all of this negativity about childcare comes from. I was in childcare from the age of two and I turned out great and I love my Mother more than anything. She taught me a lot and the time that we spent together was quality - she also showed me the value of a dollar and the value of hard work.

Those who say that 'bad things' happen in childcare have probably worked in some dodgy places. My best friend is a childcare worker and I have been in there with him on a number of occassions and I know that he is completely honest and children are his life. None of the workers there would ever do anything to harm a child.

To those who say it is important for a mother to be home for the first 5 years - important to who? You personally? Some children and adults need more stimulation. It is detrimental to a child to be at home with an unhappy / resentful mother.

Mummy_Johnno

18-12-2007, 15:04

Reading everyones comments has been most interesting ..... hence probably the reason for this thread!

DS is in CC 2 @ 1/2 days a week and he loves it NOW but for the first 6 months he hates it! I questioned why i was taking him ( since i am having leave from my work to raise him ) and then i thought ..... why the hell shouldnt i pop him in? :laughing:

People have their personal reasons why they dont send their children and other people just bag out the CC system. Lucas loves the social side of CC, he comes home (trying) to sing songs they learn and being there is enhancing what i am trying to teach him at home eg, sharing and turn taking is a bit hard when there is DS and just me! He needs to be trying stuff out with other children and learning to deal with the consequences of different actions etc .....

He is now very independant and i am more than happy.

Saying that, he doesnt NEED to be there as such, he goes swimming and play dates and Kindergym etc but this is another way for him to socialise and to be honest, it is a great time for ME to do ME stuff without him. ( nothing spoils a lovely pedicure more than a 20 month old yelling ... Mumma yukky boogie! :laughing: )

It is great to hear everyones comments about this ..... keep chatting!!!!!!!! :ecomcity::ecomcity:

SAMum

18-12-2007, 15:51

No from me.
My DH and I both work part time so that one of us is always home to look after DS and we both knew from the start that we never ever wanted him in childcare. Just something we both feel strongly about, as someone else mentioned he deserves to be with people who love him, not people who are just "looking after" him.
We are suffering financially because of this, I could easily have a very high paid job with many benefits but all that seems very unimportnant compared to our child (soon to be children!). We have already discussed that if something happened where we could no longer both work the hours that we are that we would rather sell our house and rent for a while or move somewhere cheaper or whatever we had to do to make sure we never have to put our children in child care. In all this I am talking about regular childcare (ie 20+ hours per week) not just a day a fortnight or whatever, that is very different in my opinion. We have only had DS babysat twice in his life for a couple of hours each time. I think we have major trust issues :laughing:

SorenLorensen

18-12-2007, 15:59

i did, but then i realized i wanted her to go for the wrong reason's

i wanted her to go because everyone else was doing it and in my area it is "the thing to do"

DP and i have decided that we will put her into preschool next year (maybe)

forbetoel

18-12-2007, 16:11

To those who say it is important for a mother to be home for the first 5 years - important to who? You personally? Some children and adults need more stimulation. It is detrimental to a child to be at home with an unhappy / resentful mother.

Uh..I don't like the thought of an unhappy mother raising any child. In an ideal situation the mother would be happy. I don't care how out dated my views are, I think it is in the best interest of the child to be at home with his/her mother, that is my view on the matter, and to be quite honest I don't really care what anyone else does with their own kids, I just personally couldn't carry a baby for 9 months and then hand it over to someone else to raise during the day...just me! Like I said, what other people do is their business, but I am still allowed to have the opinion that children are best at home with a loving mother while they are young...yeah I know, how very 1950's of me!:footinmouth:

Oh and just for the record, our family have had really tough times financially while on one income for so long (it will be 13 years by the time DS4 starts school) but my priority is to be at home with them.

Ashleigh<3

18-12-2007, 16:22

I used to say No, then I'd say Yes! Then NO~!
Now I'm saying Yes. It's going to be incredibly hard not having the same routine but I know she will benefit and I know I will benefit too.

We decided we'll eventually send her for three week days and she can spend the weekends with her Dad while I work. I don't want to get her too mixed up but atm, she only ever see's her Dad very early in the morning or late in the evening.
Despite his exhaustion after commuting five hours per week day+ working 9 hours, he always over does it by helping me and spending time with our dd.
I just hope we can find a balance.
Time to spend with our dd.
Time to take care of obligations.
Time to sleep! :)

cheezelz

19-12-2007, 03:24

I say yes.

Im a SAHM with no forseeable return to the workforce. With no working commitments I am able to stay home with my children everyday, all day but I think that they need interaction with other children with out my supervision. I think this is important so they can grow and become independent. On the other hand tho, if you are a SAHM that has friends with children the same age as yours to interact with there may not be a need to childcare. In my case all my friends bubs are much younger and my DD needs to play with other bubs now.

I also think that she needds interaction with children just as much as I need interaction with adults on my own.

Susan Mac

19-12-2007, 10:11

I have no intention of sending any children to childcare. If we choose to not homeschool, I hope to send Jack to kindy/pre-school for a couple of mornings a week before he has to launch into full time school.
I disagree that children need to go to any type of institution such as childcare, preschool or even school for social or educational benefits. I agree that they receive them, but I also believe that there are a thousand other opportunities for such experiences.
I sincerely believe that having at least one parent at home is the best for early childhood development.

Susan Mac

19-12-2007, 10:17

I've just read a few more comments, and I do have a question:

A lot of people have mentioned independence, and I'm wondering why this is so important?

To add this to my earlier post, I would think that I could teach independence at home as well.

ThomasMum

19-12-2007, 10:21

I always thought i would stay at home with my DS. Unfortunately i had to put him into care a few days a week due to personal circumstances.

It turned out to be the best thing for him. I have seen a very positive change in him, and now feel very confident about sending him to pre-prep and prep.

I like reading stories like these. So wonderful, instead of those negative stuff that child(ren) should be with their mum when they are still young bla bla, excuse me, they need to see other people too you know! :D

Tom goes to childcare 2 days/week since he was around 8 months old (since I dont like asking money from my DH and since the government gave me absolutely nothing so I work p/t and we both love it. Tom especially he never gets any sick, unlike my friends kids who never went to childcare they kept having runny nose! He's confidant and he trully is a happy lil vegemite! :smiliedance:

:xmastree:

Susan Mac

19-12-2007, 10:36

I like reading stories like these. So wonderful, instead of those negative stuff that child(ren) should be with their mum when they are still young bla bla, excuse me, they need to see other people too you know! :D

I'm sorry, but what is negative about saying children should be with their mothers???

I did not have a son to have other people look after him. He is my responsibility to raise, and I know that children are very impressionable in their early years. I like to know what is impressing on him.

And I'm wondering, do you think stay at home mothers ONLY stay at home??? My son interacts with other people every time we go grocery shopping, every time we walk down to the corner store to buy the paper, every time see his grandmother and aunties (usually several times a week), every time we meet with friends for a cuppa, every time we go to playgroup, every Sunday at church, every time we have friends over for a bbq, every time he plays with the neighbours kids in the front yard. Hopefully he will soon have siblings to interact with as well.

I don't live in a box, my son doesn't live in a box, and as a mother I have a responsiblity to make sure we are not in a box and become insular people.

ThomasMum

19-12-2007, 10:41

pookiesossige

19-12-2007, 14:07

No... I love being a SAHM, even though it means watching every cent we spend. Neither child nor I are isolated in anyway- we go to two different playgroups, church (same kids as one playgroup) and a mid-week bible study with same group of kids and they have lots of creative, open and structured play at different venues. I do not breathe down their necks 24/7 but I am there when they experience every fantastic and exciting event- from a sunflower reaching the shed roof to being able to cook together and do other things that I didn't have the energy for when I was a working mum.

My kids are happier with me home with them- and I believe that happy kids = happy mum. Much more so then happy mum = happy kids.

But that's just me- my circumstances allow me to accept being a bit povvo because 1) we don't rent, so even though repayments are 65% of our total income, we don't have to save for a house deposit, and 2) I love a self-sufficient lifestyle.

I have a degree and plan on studying again one day- but I choose not to use my quals right now.

So no childcare for us!!

Alana13

19-12-2007, 14:40

When I was pregnant I had planned to put my DS in daycare when he turned 1 and my maternity leave finished (for financial reasons) but now he is 7 months I don't plan on going back to work, I am working on a home business so I don't have to put him in daycare.

Maybe when he is around 3 he could go to daycare for 2 days a week for the social aspect, a friend of mine is a kindergarten teacher and she told me how she notices a massive difference in the kids development for the ones that didn't go to daycare. But I'm guessing if you really worked on it with your kiddie you could keep them up to speed.

I would consider going back to work part time if my mum would look after him, but I would not feel comfortable putting him in daycare even for 2 days till he is older.

Will see when it gets closer!!! :)

pinkishbunny

19-12-2007, 14:47

Nope, Not at all...My eldest is in 4 year old kinda again next year (he's 5 in march), I'm a stay at home mum so therefor I prefer my youngest who's 2, Home with me! Until hes old enough for kinda! - i have no intentions of going back to work until my youngest is in Prep.. So a NO for me

Sarieslittlemen

19-12-2007, 14:52

No I'm a stay at home mum, so my boys will not go to day care.

pinkishbunny

19-12-2007, 14:54

I just personally couldn't carry a baby for 9 months and then hand it over to someone else to raise during the day!:footinmouth:

My thought's exactly!

peanutbutter&jelly

19-12-2007, 17:06

Hmm... child care - no. Preschool 1 day a week when he's 3, then 2 days when he's 4 absolutely. I'm very biased, having just finished up working in a child care centre (after 6 months, and 2 years of study towards it before that....) and having loved every moment, and known how much myself and the other girls put into our jobs... but it still doesn't compare! I haven't even got my little bundle out yet, and I'm pretty firm on these decisions - I've had the same intentions since I was little... I was a strange kid to be thinking about what to do with my kids hahaha

cheezelz

20-12-2007, 03:17

I'm sorry, but what is negative about saying children should be with their mothers???.

Becuase when mothers have to put their children in childcare for personal reasons they feel guilty. Its like when people say 'breast is best' then mothers feel would rather suffer thru bf than be happy ff and feel guilted.

Pixie

20-12-2007, 03:46

Nope hopefully I won't no need to that is why I stay at home. many people aren't lucky that way I am so blessed to be able to for my DD and my next one.

Areca

20-12-2007, 05:06

To those who say it is important for a mother to be home for the first 5 years - important to who? You personally? Some children and adults need more stimulation. It is detrimental to a child to be at home with an unhappy / resentful mother.

I'm not negative about childcare...if it works for other families then great but considering the first five years of your child's life is meant to mould who they are as an adult I don't want a childcare worker to have such a big impact on that (I'm pretty sure there have been studies to show this but someone can correct me if I'm wrong).

Of course some people have no choice and so you do what you can, other's believe it is better for their child for various reasons. I personally believe, for my family, that it's best to keep them out of childcare so that's what we're doing.

If my answering the question offends some then that's their own issue to deal with really. I have simply stated what I want for my family. It shouldn't offend.

My SIL had my neice in childcare 50 hours a week from 8 months old. She thinks it was great for her and constantly asks me when I'm putting my girl's in daycare. I constantly tell her I'm not and I'm sure she thinks I'm depriving my girl's of something. It doesn't offend me though, we just parent differently.

ETA -my girls see groups of other kids 5 days a week. They are not socially deprived at all. I just make the effort to socialise them and do it ways so that I can be there too. She's allowed to run and play and be independant but has the security that I am right there if she needs or wants me. I get to share in her joy as well. It amazes me that so many people think daycare is the only way to socialise a child when we have so many great activities available to us these days!

mumofKieran

20-12-2007, 08:11

It's interesting reading everyone's answers.

Personally I chose NO, because I do not want my child to go to Daycare. This is for me as much as him :)

I don't want him to be separated from me for more than minimal periods (as in a couple of hours VERY occasionally) until he's at least 3, as I believe the research that says that a human child needs a strong, constant bond with 1 or 2 caregivers during the first 3 years in order to develop emotional security. The studies also show that this bond is more important than education or socialisation in this period.

And for me, it's because I was looking forward to being a mother so much, and I am so aware of how short a time I have with him before he will be grown up, that I want to cherish every minute. I don't want to miss out on enjoying him at all as I know that all-too-soon he will be off to school and then grown up. And this precious time will all be over, and I will have years stretched ahead of me that I can fill with working if I wish.

At the moment I work 2 days a week. This is to pay the mortgage, for which 1 income isn't enough, and because I felt I needed to get back into my field without too much time off, for my own career progression and skills (I am a Veterinarian).

Luckily for us, my husband does shift work and so is almost always off on the 2 days I work. So much so that Kieran has only been to Daycare 5 days in 6 months! This makes it possible for me to go to work 2 days, knowing that 99% of the time he is with his father (which he loves). If he had to go to care every time I worked then I would change things.

In saying that, we will soon be changing things anyway as I WANT to be home with him, and unfortunately for my career, my priorities have changed so much that I don't really enjoy work anyway at the moment.

So you might all see more of me on the Hub :D

defa

20-12-2007, 08:54

My DD goes to Day care 1 day a week but next year when i go to work full time she will be going 2 days a week she is goign to be an only child and i think it is inportant for her to be around other kids and have time where she can do other things with out us she love daycare and the cares are all wonderful...

She is a very happy girl and i know that it is the right thing for her.

Susan Mac

20-12-2007, 09:45

Susan, don't worry about it, i'm just posting my opinion, I know you are good mum, hey I too am stay at home mum when am not working so I know that I don't just sit around do nothing...

Why negative? Because its becoming a big issue for some people to in a way to attack those who send their kids to childcare. If you get my drift...

If you don't think that way, then dont worry be happy :)

:xmastree:

See, I think on the contrary, is that we are constantly being told the benefits of childcare for learning and social development, we hear constantly about the lack of childcare places, we hear the praise of working mothers, and never a word is said on the value of stay home parents. I'm concerned that as a society we are beginning to see putting your kids in childcare as the norm, and that if you are a 'non-working' mother somehow you aren't quite as good, if you get my drift.

I believe that our society is devaluing stay at home mothers.

I don't wish to offend those who do work and do put their children in childcare, but I feel very strongly about this issue. I'm not saying 'you shouldn't work, you should stay home'. I don't want to tell you want to do, I just want people to see through the media haze that puts working mums on a pedestal.

It's not just the media, either. I did the figures and found that if I worked part time (0.5 load) the government would give me me more benefits than for staying home -and two tax free thresholds in our household income -
as well as being paid superannuation, which I obviously don't get for staying home... and by the time we retire I don't think there will be much by way of pension, so we will have to live on one super.

Seekrit

20-12-2007, 09:54

SorenLorensen

20-12-2007, 10:08

Susan.. when you walk a mile in 'the other shoes' all you hear is about how great SAHMs are, how valued they are, how much childcare damages your child etc.

You need to walk a mile to understand that you normally only listen to the things you don't want to hear.

:iagree:
while i have only ever been a SAHM and will be soon a WAHM (after bub is born) i am very close to my sister who does go to work.
she gets asked ALOT why she does not stay at home to look after her children, and its funny how many opinions she gets as to how she 'could' if she wanted to.......

when someone asks me if i work when i say no most of the comments i get back are "oh you are so lucky to be able to do that" or "thats good, my mum stayed at home to raise us, i hope i can do the same" or even (from the old ducks as my nan would say :p) "oh, thats just what i did, you get all these mothers these days working and putting their kids in day care and :ecomcity:"

i actually have come across more negatives for day care then positives...and lord help the mums that put their children in day care when they are SAHM's, they cop even more flack.

IMO a mother or father need to do what they need to do and "WHERE THEY OR THEIR CHILD SHOULD BE" is for them to decide

JATS

20-12-2007, 10:10

See, I think on the contrary, is that we are constantly being told the benefits of childcare for learning and social development, we hear constantly about the lack of childcare places, we hear the praise of working mothers, and never a word is said on the value of stay home parents. I'm concerned that as a society we are beginning to see putting your kids in childcare as the norm, and that if you are a 'non-working' mother somehow you aren't quite as good, if you get my drift.

I believe that our society is devaluing stay at home mothers.

I don't wish to offend those who do work and do put their children in childcare, but I feel very strongly about this issue. I'm not saying 'you shouldn't work, you should stay home'. I don't want to tell you want to do, I just want people to see through the media haze that puts working mums on a pedestal.

:iagree:

Mummaholic

20-12-2007, 10:15

I agree! Let's all try and remember that we all have different circumstance and there is not one blanket solution for what is 'right' for all children and parents.

This goes for SAHMs, working mums, breast feeding, formula feeding, disposable vs cloth and all parenting techniques!!!

Sometimes the way that people express their opinions can come across as judgemental to others. We all have a great opportunity to express our views on a forum like bubhub, so we should tread carefully and consider others feelings.

Saying that there is no doubt one thing is better can make people feel angry, embarrassed or upset. Saying that it is better for your family and situation is a different thing and should be encouraged, in my view.

RE: Childcare - I am planning on sending my son soon (he is almost 2) for one or two days for socialisation as we don't know a lot of kids his age. He is very active and I feel would benefit from it. I am pregnant as well and could do with a couple hours rest twice a week! I'm not ready to leave him there full time though.

Seekrit

20-12-2007, 10:20

Yep Flick, I get asked all the time... "Why are you back at work so soon??" "Are you enjoying the break from your kid?" (NO!!!!!!!! but I have no choice!) "Why can't you stay at home." "I think parents should stay at home until their kids are at least 3... how old is your son again?... oh." "Do you want to stay at home?" "Have you read the latest thing about how dayc are kids have more behavioural issues..." etc. :/

Then the people who say "I would never send my kids to daycare." you'd never hear a working mum say "I would never stay at home with my kids." Never.

mumofKieran

20-12-2007, 13:52

mumofKieran

20-12-2007, 13:57

On the same note, however, it's easy to feel defensive or attacked no matter which side of the fence you're on. I have a very good friend who is TTC at the moment, and she has made it very clear to me on numerous occasions that she will "absolutely not be working at all once they have kids". She firmly believes the mother should be at home with the children until they leave home and that sending them to Daycare is not doing your job etc as a parent. She constantly cites examples to me of other family members whose children spend large amounts of time each week in care just so the parents can work for their mortgage, which in her mind shows skewed priorities. She did not let up on these views even when I announced I was going back to work!! It was obvious what she thought, she may as well have just come out and said it directly to me. I found this hurtful and felt myself trying to defend my position, when really my choices are mine alone and I should not have to defend them to anyone.

JATS

20-12-2007, 13:59

Then the people who say "I would never send my kids to daycare." you'd never hear a working mum say "I would never stay at home with my kids." Never.

Actually yes, you do.

I have had that comment from several working mums who think I'm insane for wanting to be a full time SAHM.

As well as comments such as:

In this day and age you HAVE to work, how can you provide your kids with the lifestyle they deserve on one income?

You NEED to put them in childcare so you can have time to yourself, so you don't loose touch with who you are, if you don't you can't be a good mother.

Who wants to spend all their time, 24/7 with with their kids? You'd have to be bonkers.

Yes, those are comments I have received from working mums.

mumofKieran

20-12-2007, 14:23

[quote=JATS;2200454]
You NEED to put them in childcare so you can have time to yourself, so you don't loose touch with who you are, if you don't you can't be a good mother.

(/quote)

That's an interesting way of looking at it. I actually feel the opposite - I really lose touch with myself when I am trying to stretch myself too thin, between the demands of my job and being a mother to my son. I find that really hard. I don't believe in the saying 'best of both worlds'.

Susan Mac

20-12-2007, 14:30

JATS

20-12-2007, 14:30

My point was what works for some doesn't necessarily work for others. To say every mother HAS to do this and that and the other or she's a bad mother is just wrong.

Some women might, doesn't mean all women do, different people in different circumstances require different tactics.

Sarieslittlemen

20-12-2007, 14:49

Whether you like daycare or not, it's all about respecting each others choices no matter what your choices are.
I passionately dislike day care and won't put my boys into one, I work nights when my DH is home so this is not an issue for us. I also believe that I had my kids I will raise them not put them for someone else to enjoy all those moments, that is my job.
I don't feel the need for 'my time' the very rare occasion that I get out of the house without my boys and I am gone for the absolute minimal time.

But that is not practicle for everyone, if you need to work then you do. There isn't anyway around it. If you feel you need time out for yourself and your child then also too, it's not worth struggling through on your own.
Every situation is different and we all need to respect what ever choices we make. We do the best with what we have right?

mumofKieran

20-12-2007, 14:54

SorenLorensen

20-12-2007, 15:08

If I had a dollar for every time I have been asked when I'm going back to work... or the funny looks I get from people when I say that I don't intend on going back to work despite having a university education....

do you see what seekrit and i are saying though ? im not sure you get our point

it goes both ways, we as SAHMs get flack for staying at home and people that work get flack for going to work ?

but if you are one it would be hard to see what it is like for the other, as i said a am lucky and DO get to see it from both sides.

you said

I believe that our society is devaluing stay at home mothers.but the truth is society can make a mother no matter what she is or who she is feel as thought what she is doing is not good enough, it really does not help when we start with the "well i have it harder then you" or "i get put down more" points.

Susan Mac

20-12-2007, 20:51

I do get your point. I don't know what it is like to be a working mother, and hope I never do.

In that last post I was trying to say that I am expected to go back to work, that somehow staying home isn't good enough for someone 'like me'.

but this thread was about childcare, so we should probably leave the topic of stay home vs working alone.

I am not really interested in putting jack in childcare for 'me' time, I have other people to look after him if I need a break. but I do think it is important that if you don't have a good support network that you are able to find a way to just have 1/2 an hour to yourself to get a haircut, or a quiet cup of coffee!!!

stellarella

21-12-2007, 07:12

No I don't. Quite happy to have him at home. Actually I would cry if he went to daycare. :o Valentine

forbetoel

21-12-2007, 07:15

No I don't. Quite happy to have him at home. Actually I would cry if he went to daycare. :o Valentine

Simply put, but fits my feelings perfectly too.

forbetoel

21-12-2007, 07:19

If I had a dollar for every time I have been asked when I'm going back to work... or the funny looks I get from people when I say that I don't intend on going back to work despite having a university education....

One of my best friends is the same.....she put in 5 years at uni, and was 2 years into her career when she dropped everything to have her 3 babies. She was almost 27 when she had the first and is never going back the the career she once loved. She says when the kids are all at school she may get a couple of days at the local supermarket, close by to the kids. She dropped a huge wage, but got an even bigger reward. Oh and she is bl00dy happy. :D

stellarella

21-12-2007, 07:33

I've just a bit of a read through the whole thread.
I didn't think this thread would turn into a SAHM v. Working Mum debate.

Anyway...MY opinion (I know you all want to hear it :laughing:) is that it goes both ways depending on which set of circumstances you find yourself in.

If you are a SAHM you often feel very undervalued. God, the number of times I have heard "Oh children need childcare for socialising, he will be a very shy and anti-social child if he doesn't go to daycare"....ermmmmmm, no he wont, he is bloody fine. He is 1 yr old FFS!!

Or "Oh, don't you WORK?"
Me: "Yes I work in the home."
"Oh, but you don't actually have a JOB?"
Idiot!! :mad:

Or my other favorite one. "It makes me a BETTER mother when I can have time to myself either working or free time. There is NO WAY I could give MY child the attention he deserves if I was at home ALL day with him!" (Oh so subtly implying that I must be a lazy fat sod who doesn't do jack squat.) :mad: Well goodo for you but I am appreciative of the fact my son has security in his life. He knows his mummy or daddy will be with him 100% of the time.

Anyway it goes both ways. I know the flak that working mums put up with. I know it would be pretty full on to deal with and yes there are a lot of rude people who will dish out equally snide remarks to working mums.

It's just one of those damned if you do and damned if you don't situations. No one can win. Someone will criticise you for something no matter what.

Lets just acknowledge that the other side faces their own set of unique challenges instead of trying to argue who has it worse.

draught

21-12-2007, 07:36

Moderators warning:
This thread is meant to be about whether YOU want YOUR children to go to daycare. Not about SAHM v working mums or any one combination. Try and keep it on track please.

Benji

21-12-2007, 07:44

It's just one of those damned if you do and damned if you don't situations. No one can win. Someone will criticise you for something no matter what.

Lets just acknowledge that the other side faces their own set of unique challenges instead of trying to argue who has it worse.

:iagree: We are all in different situations and being a Mum is hard work whether you are in paid employment or not.

My FIL calls me "unemployed" to stir me up! :laughing:

MummaBear03

22-12-2007, 21:11

Pices_79

22-12-2007, 21:36

I voted YES as well!

I do want my DD to go to CC. She goes once a week and loves the interaction she has with other babies at the centre.....She gets alot out of CC.....

DD goes to a fantastic centre where they are always busy doing different activities and learning new things....The carers are amazing!!!

Of course I LOVE my days home with my DD and love spending quality time with her...

I work 3 days per week and she spends two days a week with my mum who she adores then 1 day at CC...

MummaBear03

22-12-2007, 23:17

I'm a believer in the SAHM. I never wanted my child in childcare. I successfully stayed home for nearly 2 years then it was at the point of having to work to provide the basics like a house and food. I think where possible it's best to cut back on expenses but at that time we had nothing we could cut back on. No net or even a computer at that stage! Even when i did go back to work it was from 2:30 to 5:30 and i had a family member to look after her. a few months later though that family member left town and 2:30 to 5:30 did not even cover the cost of care, much less allow us to cover our living expenses! The balance I've found is working 3 days a week and doing full days on those days and having full days off without the cost of childcare. She's 4 now and every day I feel bad for having her in daycare even if it isn't full time. She should be at home with me! I had her I should be raising her! but that's just how I feel about parenting. 3 days a week is better than full time but still not good enough for my liking.

I should have said I voted NO I do NOT want my child in childcare, it just happens to be a sad fact of life she has nowhere else to go while I'm working and I have no choice but to work. She had plenty of interaction without the need for childcare through playgoups, ABA meetings and coffee mornings, swimming lessons and a children's music program. All these cost $2 each time except swimming lessons which was $6.50 for her group at that time before she moved up in levels. Plenty of social interaction was going on before she started daycare and although she goes to a fantastic centre with great staff, I'd pull her out in a heartbeat if there was an option to be a SAHM again. But that's just me :)

NerdyMumma

23-12-2007, 00:51

No not at all, I am also a big believer in the SAHM, that said I also feel for those of you who have no choice. I am lucky enough to have DF who makes enough that I don't have to work and we can still have all the things we want / need. He works hard for it and knows I also work hard at home.

Maybe if I had an option other than formal CC such as leaving them with a grandparent I might go back to work for one or two days a week when DD is older, but at this stage it's out of the question as DF parents live 300ks away and my parents live on the other side of the country. It's a shame too as MIL doesn't work and would really love to do it.

Mum2Tyla

23-12-2007, 17:08

i am a single sahm who works nights my daughter is 2 years old and has been going to day care for 6hrs a week, so she goes for 3hrs twice a week, mostly for socialisation and so I can do the shopping and catch up wityh friends for a cuppa, there are many people that have no option but to put their child in full time day care I am very lucky to have support from my family so i can work nights and be home with my girl during the day.
Kelly

our3boys

23-12-2007, 17:36

Yes. But my opinion only came to this after DS turned 18 months - prior I was very anti-childcare.

.
i was totally against childcare up until my ds was this age to i waited until he was two to putr him in anyway cause i dont beleive in childcare for children under two as they do not yet no how to interact with other children and need there mum. as it turned out i got a job for those two days and really inproved our financial situation and he totally loves it gets to do stuff he doesnt do at home and has made some friends. i will wait til this baby is two to out it in childcare to as i am going to be a complete stay at home mum after this one is born its wat i have always wanted to be and would love to achieve even if our financial situation goes down a fair bit i think it will be worth it.

kymmy

24-12-2007, 17:07

Not really. But I think my youngest may need the social interaction. I have concidered occassional childcare for next year when the big kids are at school.

luckymama

24-12-2007, 17:28

nope im going to raise my child

our little treasures

24-12-2007, 20:54

nope im going to raise my child

:iagree:
I am with you. I decided to have children so they are MY responsibility. :)

Opinionated

25-12-2007, 20:23

No childcare unless there isn't a family member available. I am a stay at home mum, we have sacrificed one income coming in so one of us can be with the kids. I have heard the whole social interaction argument and I think it is a crock! I take my dd to playgroup, music and other activities for her social interaction opportunities.

Hokey Pokey

26-12-2007, 09:33

Nope.

punkbaby

26-12-2007, 09:45

Nope happy to have them home their first form of care so to speak will be kinder. DD9 was in care though but i was on my own then

HannahHopesMummy

26-12-2007, 09:47

:no::no::no::no::no::no:
I worked in a childcare centre when i got pregnant and what i saw there put me off working in childcare and made me decide NEVER to put my child into child care. Granted... I dont get a lot of time for me but I know what happens in my baby's day and I know she is well cared for.
Tessa

1+1=5

28-12-2007, 10:38

yes, once he turns 3 and only for a day or two, depending on how much he enjoys it.

mini_me

01-01-2008, 20:25

MummaBear03

02-01-2008, 19:08

I voted NO

However as of tomorrow my DD1 starts back (4 days p/w)and DD2 (only 6.5 weeks) starts. I wish to god they didnt have to go - so as the question stands i dont want them in childcare but im studing 4 days a week, fought tooth and nail to get my newborn with me 2 days a week (in class) but still have to attend CC 2 days p/w.

:( I know how you feel! I voted NO even though my child does attend. She's there because I have no choice, not because I feel she SHOULD be there, or because I want "me" time or because it's "good for her social development" she's there because I'm working 3 days a week and have no one else to care for her. But she's not there full time which is something I don't think I could handle. Even 4 full days a week at work was too much, I had to cut back to 3 just so I could feel like a mother again. :eek: We are struggling in a big way though so I'm not too sure if I can keep going with 3 days a week. Hopefully so but if not i'll go back to 4 days a week. But like you, I also voted NO to "Wanting" the child in child care.

Taveon

02-01-2008, 19:24

DS1 aged 7 and DS2 aged 1 both attended full time day care since they were 5 months old.
Due to financial reasons I had to return to work.

Both of them have thrived and neither of them know any different. DS1 recently told me that he assumed all kids went to day care.

I think it was me who secretly went insane with feelings of guilt, working full time, sending them to day care. I always wanted to be a SAHM but I the extra money makes life a little easier.

youngones

03-01-2008, 18:00

No, but it is an unfortunate reality for us. I voted no, but DD does go to a long daycare and this year she'll be attending 4 days. :(

meshel

17-01-2008, 15:09

I voted no.
I don't have children yet, but I have also worked in childcare and believe that it is better for the child to stay in a warm loving environment where they will receive the care and attention they need, a lot of the time staff in childcare don't have the time to spend with your child 1 on 1 and they definitely miss out.
In saying that though there are some good quality childcare centers out there so be very picky when placing your child in one

treightonsmum

20-01-2008, 13:58

I also voted no but so true that it is a sad reality that we also need to use it.
I have my 2 yr old in daycare 4 days per week from the end of this month due to work pressures. It breaks my heart every time to drop him there. I was the same with my other 2 children, it never gets any easier.

Queen

20-01-2008, 21:19

Wow how a simple yes/no question turns into a debate huh?

Anyhoo, I always said no never...but now DD is 2 she needs more stimulation and social activity, so she will be going, not full time, just 1-3 days a week, we will play it by ear.

tlkmelb

22-01-2008, 12:45

Aydinsmummy

22-01-2008, 13:35

I have a nine month old Son and have already had to go back to work 4 days a week. I hate working and miss my little boy so much, luckily he is with his Nana and not in day care. I would love to be a SAHM but financially couldnt afford it. I feel once they are around two it would be good for them maybe one day a week to go so they could bond with other children and lear to share etc.

Baldie's Mum

22-01-2008, 13:43

Being educated in the early childhood field i know it is important for children of all ages to get social activity and stimuation outside of home and with people around their own ages.

Now this doesnt mean just childcare, it can be playgroup, or a play centre, a play date ect.....

I will be sending my child/ren to a day care of some sort quite early on. Maybe just before 2 yrs old. definatly not full time because i dont believe that has any more social benifits than 2 days a week. And a child needs their mum and dad!

:goodvibes:

MummaBear03

23-01-2008, 08:51

This is an amazing thread to introduce the forums to a person! I just joined up today and got sucked into reading this for the past little while.

I would've said No to childcare. I'm lucky enough on the home front to:
a) have a hubby who works from home in a very flexible career
b) my mum living with us and happy to share the childcaring load
c) have a career that's at a good, succesful stage and a day-to-day schedule that's very flexible.

I know lots of parents who would rather not send their kids to childcare (but have to for financial reasons) and others who find their lives again with bubs off at CC. Everyone's situation is different and socialisation for kids happens in many different ways. :yes:
Welcome to BubHub! :shakehands:

Wow you do have it good don't you! If I had others around who could watch my DD she wouldn't go to childcare at all. I'm a qualified childcare worker and see what goes on, and although she goes to a great centre I don't believe any childcare centre could give her what I could give her at home. Before I worked though she went to a number of playgroups, swimming lessons, coffee mornings with other friends who have kids, music sessions, meetings and coffee mornings with the wonderful mums at the Australian Breastfeeding Association, and other random visits to friends' houses, as well as quality family time with just the 2 of us at home so she is definately not getting anything out of it that she couldn't get if she wasn't there. If I quit my job next week, I'd pull her out of care. I don't like that she has to go, and like I said it's not the centre as she goes to the highest quality centre I have had the pleasure of being introduced to. It's a very small, local company and 2 of their 5 centres are the best I've ever seen in all my years of childcare, as well as out of all the centres I looked through when returning to work both for me and for my DD. I know it has its place as there are so many people without the extended support, but I for one would love to pull her out and go back to the playgroups and so on. It got to the stage where we couldn't afford to go to those places, and we couldn't afford to live at all, even the basics were a struggle and now working 3 days a week, although we don't have a great deal left over, I've found the balance of making ends meet and still having the majority of the time at home. It's all about finding balance and doing what works.

CatJ

25-01-2008, 11:44

If I had a choice then NO, that's why I voted NO. Unfortunately so many of us do not have that choice and we can only do whatever is best for the family as a whole. My 1st went to a childminder at the age of 8 months when I had to take up a part-time job, we were lucky that the childminder was a lovely lady who had over 20 years of experience and was recommended by a neighbour. My son was very happy there and sometimes he didn't want to come home, and I got very jealous. Then we moved close to my parents after our second son was born and my parents were very happy to look after the baby when I started working full-time. But now we're moving again, this time thousands of miles away from everyone so I'll definitely be looking at childcare options.

mal

25-01-2008, 13:49

:) i voted yes. both my kids go to day care 2 days a week and they love it. its good for there social skills and sharing.. it also lets me out to earn a couple of dollars:). but it is personal choice, and if you find a environment for your child that you are happy with it makes the experience better..

tlkmelb

25-01-2008, 13:51

*g* Yes, MummaBear03, I do indeed have it good. Some folks have asked how I managed to work it all out and I have to tell them quite honestly that it was never a 'plan'. It's a set of circumstances that stemmed from not-so-good events (i.e. partner was made redundant with generous payout, father passed away so mother was living alone). The result is v. good and satisfying for all.

As you say, it's all about finding the balance and it was really interesting to hear your take on childcare centres, being in the industry as you are.

ProudMummy2008

25-01-2008, 20:21

Hello my DD goes to childcare 2 days a week!! we only put her in there to help her with her talking and to get around other children her own age and to interact. she has been going for a year now and has learnt so many new things and talks alot better. she is starting to come out of her shell now. :yes:

M22B

27-01-2008, 14:03

I voted yes. My DS hasn't started yet, but is starting in a week! He's only going for two days a week from 9am-3pm, just to help him with social skills and learn how to interact with kids his own age. (plus we have number two due in 8 weeks and wanted to give this little one some of the "one on one" attention that DS had full time!)

I am still a SAHM but it gives me a chance to go out and work if I want to. (with the work that I was doing before I got too big with this PG my mum would look after DS.. but I was sometimes working upto 6 days a week and having her look after him that much was turning him into a very naughty little boy, as she never diciplines him and lets him run amock.. she would mind him at my place and I would get home to the house looking like a bomb had hit it.. and a very obnoxious toddler! And I cannot tell my mother anything.. no matter how many times I told her that he NEEDS to be told no sometimes.. she would brush it off and not listen.. very frustrating indeed!)
I am lucky enough that DF earns a good wage so I am able to cut my workload down to a bare minimum.. just working a day or two here and there to keep me sane. So to have him in daycare for those two days puts my mind at ease as I can go out and earn that extra bit of money if I want to and know that he will be cared for in a great environment and also receiving nutritious meals in the time that he is there. Plus he will be learning new skills (not that I dont teach him as much as I can by reading, playing, building blocks, counting and singing, but I am no qualified childcare worker!)

He is very grown up for his age as he mostly is hanging out with our friends and us (DF and I). We used to have a mothers group when all the kids were little, but all the mothers have returned to work full-time and have their kids in daycare aswell.. so it limits the time we get to spend with each other to once every few months.

The daycare I'm sending him to is the one I attended from 16mths old to school age (mum and dad both worked full-time) and loved every minute of it... my mum said within a week of being there I was putting full sentences together and made alot of friends (two of whom I still see on occasion now!)
The director of the centre now (who was just one of the workers back then) remembered my name when I called up to see if I could book DS in. And when we took DS for orientation and to introduce him to staff (he cried when we left... he wanted to stay at "skoo"(school) and play!) she even remembered that I was attatched to a lambswool blanket.. it came everywhere with me up until kindergarten!

I know in some daycares there have been bad reports on what workers do or say to a child when the parents arent there. But in this case, I am so comfortable with sending my DS to this place as it is always immaculate (apart from the mess of toys, etc.. when the kids are playing), in terms of cleanliness. And the staff are so friendly (plus they are always over-staffed).

My views on chlidcare seem to be very different to alot of mums.. But I must admit that this place is the only one that I would be comfortable sending him to right now. If this place didnt exist, I would be trying to find other ways to manage my time, and would probably not be working at all!
I guess it was just lucky that I got to experience this particular place first-hand when I was little (plus I did work experience there in year 10).

As the saying goes.. each to their own.. but I'm making sure that I'm always keeping an open mind as to what any childcare centre has to offer.

ktsonhunter

29-01-2008, 14:23

I took 12x months off work to look after my DS but I will be going back to work full-time when he is 8xmonths old. I had the choice to stay at home for the full 12xmonths but chose to go back as I was in for a big pay rise if I did. I do feel extremely guilty for chosing this path, as it now means my DS will be in full-time childcare (we have no family where we live to help out :()
I always said I wanted my child to go to childcare as they experience things there that they can't at home, like sharing and social skills). But giving up those last 4xmonths to spend with him at home full time still plays on my mind and I wonder if I made the right decision... time will tell. I spent hours searching this forum for guidance to make the right decision, so if there's anyone else out there in the same boat, you are not alone!

CJJHRA

31-01-2008, 17:51

I didnt vote, because I want both answers LOL even though 4/6 of mine have bee in daycare...

I put my eldest in daycare to learn to be without me and make it easier for when school came.. He was only in for 1 full and one half day when he was 4, made starting school that much easier I believed anyway. He liked it, lovely centre!!! small, and very lovely!!

so, with DS2, I did the same.. but he hated every minute of it!! (was fine when school came, loved school better!)

DS3, never went, and it was VERY hard for him to adapt to school, took ages to settle in. (well pre-primary, not yr1)

The twins... well, heck, being twins. I pretty much HAD to put them in to get a breather, taking them shopping with me was a nightmare. Ok, wasnt bad when they were little, but by about 2 and a half, and they had their own voices and legs... well, I spent more time chasing them about! So off too daycare for them! 2 full days!! funny though, I never got any me time then either.. spent it cleaning and paying bills and that running all over town, They hated daycare... but kinda knew they had to go, and they had each other, never had any trouble getting them to go into daycare, but they would cry every tiem I left, and made me feel bad, but within 10 mins they were fine most of the time... but once at kindy/school... they LOVED kindy, couldnt keep them away, said it was so much better than daycare ever was!

DD, I always meant to put her in, but being my last... I just couldnt.. shes off to school Monday... wahhhhhhh!!! me more nervous than her.

karawheat

01-02-2008, 13:42

I voted yes.
I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 6 month old. We had our first child in the UK, I took 1 year maternity leave (I could afford to do it in the UK), just before my leave ended he was offered a job to come here - which we were very happy to take of course

After arriving here I decided to look for part time work, but first I needed to look for child care - after a few months still no child care therefore still no job, then I got a place in child care- which I took.

I started to look for work - in my profession I found out that part timework doesnt exist - so I thought perhaps I'll try looking for full time work. Then I found out I was pregnant again, so I had the dilemma of whether I should look for work, only having to tell them I was going to have to leave as I was pregnant.....so I stopped looking for work and thought I would wait a while longer, but I kept my daughter in care a couple of days a week (she absolutely loves it, she is in a fantastic daycare centre).

Now I have both my children starting fulltime day care soon so I can look for fulltime work. I'm not sure if it will be worth it financially, but after not working for 2 1/2 years I feel I need to claim a bit of my life back - I feel guilty about leaving my 6 month old in fulltime day care - but I've told myself if it all goes pear shaped and the kids suffer I'll stop.

I don't think that whether you choose to leave your child in daycare and return to work or whether you choose to be a sahm makes you a "better" mother or not its quality not quantity.

MumofIsaac

01-02-2008, 13:51

My DS has been in childcare since he was 8 months old. It wasn't a decision we took lightly but ultimately, we had no choice. Financially we couldn't sustain our mortgage and living expenses on one wage so I had to go back to work. In saying that, I only work 5 days per fornight. I had no family or friends that I could count on as a permanent solution to care so we made the decision to put him into daycare. When I fell pregnant, I had all these dreams of being a SAHM and the thought of someone else bringing up my child really horrified me. But, since he has been in childcare he has come so far. They offer so many different activities that I would never have thought to do myself. I am happy with our decision and my DS has a ball each time he goes too.

shuttermum

01-02-2008, 18:51

I took a big chance and started my own business so that I could be a SAHM for my 2 kids. My youngest started Preps yesterday - we succeeded and I am so happy that we managed it.
But my heart totally goes out to all those parents that would give their right arm to stay at home with their little ones. :hugs:Unfortunately the high cost of living and the huge cost of buying your own home forces many to have no other choice than to work and use childcare facilities. My sister will be one of these mummy's when she gets pregnant.

lunik27

05-02-2008, 14:55

MummaBear03

06-02-2008, 21:50

my son is 16 months old and i am now considering puting him in childcare once a week mainly for social reasons, he's a very independant little boy and often plays on his own even in the company of other kids, so i guess i want him to make some little friends and have fun away from mum....however it dose seem extremely difficult these days to get your child into childcare, having to go on waiting lists etc..i hate to think what it must be like for full-time working mums!
When I was working 5 days a week, I was lucky to have family around. When they left town I had my DD in 3 different centres for a while then decided it was too difficult and went back to 2 days a week casual work. This wasn't enough so when more days came up I started work 4 days a week, but it was still split between 2 centres and I pulled her out of the one she was at 1 day a week and have worked 3 days a week since. It's hard, I couldn't work full-time if I wanted to unless she was in multiple centres which I don't think is good for kids.

A Party of Five

07-02-2008, 08:01

Yes :yes:

All of my kidlets have started Family Day Care from the age, for two days a week. And we have been more than happy with our choice.

Angela xoxo

Teley

10-02-2008, 19:09

In an ideal situation, I would vote YES, from the age of 18 months for one day a week, and then at 2 for two days a week until school, maybe three, as in I would want to start part-time work by then. But I think it depends on the temperament of the child, for some children maybe 2 years would be better.
I put DS into CC at 8 months old:(. For four days a week:(. And he hadn't even left my arms before then other than for five hours at five months of age when I went to my formal. Now, that was wrong, and I regret it to this day, where I missed out on a lot of my little man growing up. But unless you have being in my shoes, I don't think anyone has the right to judge me. I was recovering from a set of very traumatic events which made me need times by myself -- so in a way one of the reasons was that 'me' time, yes. No, I did not have family or a partner, and I had just moved to a part of town I knew nothing of and noone there. I was doing full-time uni and I don't think I would have being fit to work then anyway, I used to not go to lectures and sit there looking at trees for one and a half hours, until you have PTSD I don't think you will understand what I was experiencing when i was finally in a safe situation.
At 1 year I took him out of that extra day and I put him in for three days a week, and often short days at that -- by that time, I had recovered somewhat, but I still had full-time uni, as I really didn't want to live on the pension that poor all my life and I needed to see my life moving somewhere. If you think you're critisised for being a SAHM, try to imagine what people like me must feel when blamed with being 'government bludgers'. It's pathetic.
He goes three days a week now, and miraclulously gets sick and has a doc cert to say so on days I don't need him in daycare IYKWIM;). He really enjoys the days that he's in there, and enjoys the days that he isn't -- I think he is at an age now where he's fine with going for three days -- I'd make it two but I need that third day for uni -- one more year of my degree to go:fingerscrossed:. I don't think anyone has the right to critisise me for trying to drag my family out of poverty. I also don't think anybody would have the right to critisise me for putting my son in childcare to recover so that I could be a fit happy mother when I did spend time with him.
I think we could all do with a little less judging. I think the world would be a better place then. I also think that childcare/no childcare is a very individual choice that depends on the family, finances, the mother, and the sort of temparement the child has.

BeachBaby3

11-02-2008, 11:44

Ideally no I would rather stay at home, but financially I have to return to work. DD is now 20 months, and we have just been told we have childcare from the end of March. We had her name down for one centre since I was 4 weeks pregnant!!!

Waiting4girl

11-02-2008, 11:51

I votes Yes, but I think it depends on the individual. I am putting my DD (nearly 11 months) in childcare 1 day per week for a few hours so that I can get more work done. I am workning from home 1 day per week and soon will be doing 2 days. I went to the centre last week to check it out and my DD toddled over to the carer and sat on her lap. She is very sociable with almost everybody particulaly other children. She has no older siblings so it is a good way for her to learn she is not the centre of the universe. She may be like me. I was in childcare from about 2 years old and I liked it better than home!

kiwibird27

11-02-2008, 11:57

I would LOVE to send DD to daycare for a few hours a week, she loves other children, There are child care spaces available but not at the good quality centres that actually clean the toys and supervise the children!!! My daughter is even eligible for a support worker so one on one care, but the centre's locally are disgusting and I couldn't trust my support worker would actually be kept for my child and not sent of to relieve sick staff.

blessedmummy

11-02-2008, 12:05

no, i dont send my girls to daycare anymore, but they used to go to family daycare twice a week, which my sister in law runs, and they loved it!! and it was great for the interaction with other children too. anyhow, not planning on sending them to daycare in the future, as im a SAHM and love it! i do work atm tho but only at night times on the weekend, so dont need to. emily is at pre-primary atm, will be yr1 next year !! ( growing up fast!) and clare will be at kindy next year.

Funtimes

11-02-2008, 13:41

I voted No. I have always felt strongly against childcare and will never leave my children with anyone other than family if I have to, I just dont feel comfortable.
I am a SAHM and like a lot of you we sacrifice financially, but DF and I wouldn't have it any other way. DS has just started playgroup and he will get his socialising from this until he starts 4yr old kinder. This will be exactly the same for bub#2 and I think this is sufficient.
Once they are both at school I will go back to doing some PT work, but for now, they have my full attention, I think this is so important and they are only babies once.

clairbear

11-02-2008, 14:06

I voted NO. I have two boys- the 4 and a half year old goes to preschool three days a week and loves it. My two year old stays home with me...loves going to playgroup and hanging out with friends with kids too. This is a great situation for us all as a family, and we're lucky we can do it.
However...
I am not always a happy stay at home mum, sometimes I feel like I am going mad and would love to work a day or two per week to feel sane. I think any full time stay at home mum who doesn't have moments of frustration/loneliness/boredom is a rarity. That said too, I think most working mums have at least occasional moments of feeling overwhelmed by their situations too, as well as enjoying having their own time as a professional and not always Mummy.
However....
Having worked in the child care system in a wide variety of settings for twenty years ( started as an untrained assistant at 19...finished up as an Early Childhood teacher ) has definitely put me off putting my kids in child care (as opposed to preschool).
Yes I have seen some shocking treatment/neglect of small children on several occasions. I have also worked with many wonderful child care workers who put so much of their own time and energy into caring for the young children in their care in a SYSTEM that sucks!
Yep, it's the CHILD CARE SYSTEM in Australia that is failing dismally....ask anyone who works in the profession. Tell me how child care could be of high quality when the ratios of staff to children (imposed by DOCS) are so pathetic!? One adult to five babies, one adult to eight toddlers, one adult to ten preschoolers.....how can the children possibly get all the care, attention, affection, education that they need???
And not only that, it's a miracle if for a whole week all of the permanent carers are actually there with the children- and not doing release time (over the top programming and documentation that the accreditation system demands), having an RDO, annual leave, a sick day, attending an inservice- whilst a relief worker that often doesn't have a clue what's going on is replacing that permanent staff member!
At least in preschool the staff take all their holidays when the children are on holidays, and they do most of the preparation and paperwork when the kids aren't there.
I am not just on the side of stay at home OR working mothers, we all do the best we can.....it's just sad that those who choose/have to put their kids in child care don't have much chance of HIGH QUALITY CARE for their children!
If you have found a really good centre for your child and you and your child are happy with it, don't take it for granted, you are EXTREMELY lucky!!:yes:

MrsMiggins

11-02-2008, 14:22

I never really considered putting my kids into child care. I just figured that while there is certainly nothing at all wrong with having your kids in care, I was there, so there really was no need.

I enjoy being a SAHM. I love spending time with my kids, I love learning with them & the challenge of finding new & interesting things to do. I love the fact that becoming a parent really opens up your social scene too!!

On the other hand, being a parent is FAR more full-on than I expected. I never get a chance to get anything done around the house, I have no "me" time whatsoever, and sometimes the demands really get on top of me. Add to this the fact that my DD (especially - although I can see it starting to come out in DS as well, now he's getting older) thrives on social interraction & craves to learn new things in new environments & I have totally done an about-face!

Just the thought of having a day or two a week to get the housework done, uninterrupted, or being able to complete the groceries in under 2 hours (without forgetting half the things on the list because I've spent the whole time trying to separate, quieten, find, scold, feed, amuse..... 2 children while I'm doing it!!) seems like utter bliss!!:cloud9:

I am now kicking myself that I didn't get in earlier & get them on the waiting list at the day care I would really like them to attend!

So my answer is a resounding - YES! :yes:

Teley

11-02-2008, 14:26

Yep, it's the CHILD CARE SYSTEM in Australia that is failing dismally....ask anyone who works in the profession. Tell me how child care could be of high quality when the ratios of staff to children (imposed by DOCS) are so pathetic!? One adult to five babies, one adult to eight toddlers, one adult to ten preschoolers.....how can the children possibly get all the care, attention, affection, education they they need???
And not only that, it's a miracle if for a whole week all of the permanent carers are actually there with the children- and not doing release time (over the top programming and documentation that the accreditation system demands), having an RDO, annual leave, a sick day, attending an inservice- whilst a relief worker that often doesn't have a clue what's going on is replacing that permanent staff member!
At least in preschool the staff take all their holidays when the children are on holidays, and they do preparartion and paperwork when the kids aren't there...[...]

If you have found a really good centre for your child and you and your child are happy with it, don't take it for granted, you are EXTREMELY lucky!!:yes:
What you said there hit a really strong note with me. I think the problem is actually with the system, not the teachers. I like my son's teachers, I like the staff at the daycare centre, I can see them working their a**es off for the kids. But I don't like the system at all. I don't understand a system that underpays and overworks people in a proffession that contributes so much to society! (Not mentioning any names here, but I know a few people who work in childcare, and I can really understand why it has such a high turnover rate.) I think a lot of the time the staff are stressed out, and a lot of the parents don't appreciate the work they put in. Although I'm happy with DS daycare, they have security, a huge yard with real grass on it, very low staff turnover:yes:. And I don't take that for granted.

MummaBear03

11-02-2008, 22:35

Tell me how child care could be of high quality when the ratios of staff to children (imposed by DOCS) are so pathetic!? One adult to five babies, one adult to eight toddlers, one adult to ten preschoolers.....how can the children possibly get all the care, attention, affection, education that they need???
Ratios are different in QLD
Babies - 1:4
Todds - 1:5
Pre-K - 1:6
Sen K - 1:7 (ours is a 2.5 to 3.5 room)
Preschool - 1:12 (3.5 to school age)
School care - 1:13 (not including Prep children who join the Preschool room)

But the same thing anyway, it's still not good. And there are many times you end up over-ratio in the rooms. Last week I had 14 children aged 3 to 5 on my own, couldn't pass any back as they had a full room, as were the rest of the rooms. When I was GL in the toddler room I would have 10 kids (full room) and my assistant would just disappear for an hour at a time, and no matter how many times I spoke to her and the Director spoke to her, she wouldn't stay put. She ended up saying she wants Nursery or she'll quit, she's sick of the Toddlers so they let her do that but by that time I'd had a breakdown from dealing with 10 toddlers on my own for that time. It's a very stressful job and I know what it's like, which is why I feel so bad for having to put my own child in a centre. She goes the 3 days I'm working and although people have said I should put her in for an extra day to have some "me" time, I really don't feel comfortable with that. She belongs at home with me, not in a daycare centre where the staff are over-worked. Although she is in one of the best where they put on extra regular float staff to spend time in the rooms when needed just to help out with transitioning, putting kids to sleep, cleaning and so on. Regular staff, familiar faces for the kids, but still a high-stress profession no matter how good it is.

susiehomemaker

12-02-2008, 12:36

Nope- I never have wanted to put DD in childcare and thankfully we have not had to. We will consider Kindy when she is a little bit older, maybe for 1-2 days a week (short days) just to get her used to being away from home before she goes to school but until then I will keep my little chicken at home with me. My hubby works long hours and works 6 days a week but I have a great support network of friends in our area so it is not as though I am stuck at home with just a child all day every day. DD does go to the gym creche 2 days a week, just for an hour each time & she enjoys it. Breaks up the week a little & she is just as confident and further ahead than most other children her age who go to childcare.

maiko

16-02-2008, 22:01

I voted yes, but only for 1/2 a day now and then, definitely not every day or full-time. Not sure how we're going to work that out just yet.

bAaM

17-02-2008, 23:13

Yes, BUT not until she is 3-4 years old or so and only for her social benifits not so much for me to get a break. So she can have little friends and the transition to preschool and school and easier on her.

That what i will be doing as well.

Lollie86

17-02-2008, 23:16

Ideally not until she starts kinder but it all depends on the money situation at the end of the day and if I need to go back to work.

If I am a SAHM then my DD will also stay at home with me. :)

campkatie

22-02-2008, 11:06

Hi I'm new and just thought I'd tell you how I got an income and stayed home with my little girl. I became a Family Day Care mum - I spend every moment of the day with my little one and I make a great income and I don't pay for child care fees. My perfect solution.:yelclap:

lil miss

22-02-2008, 20:54

only because i need to work.... i love staying at home with her, but now i am by myself, i need to work so we have money. It sucks, but it makes me appreciate the time i do spend with her

genegeenie

29-02-2008, 11:16

Susan Mac

29-02-2008, 13:39

excellent points genegeenie. I agree with you entirely.

ThomasMum

03-03-2008, 13:41

I voted No, because that is the decision I have just reached this week.

However I agonised as I was offered 2 days a week and my work were being very flexible. I also had a place at a brilliant centre about a minutes walk form my fornt door.

In the end we have sacrificed financially as I believe he is too young (12mths). I looked at a lot of studies and came to the conclusion that 2 -3 short stints (up to 5 or 6 hours) would have been comfortable for me.

However I am shocked at how 'normalised; long day childcare is in out society. We know from lots of research that 5 days a week or long days - even in top quality centres - is not good for under 1's. And yet workplaces are just not flexible enough and Governemnts encourage return to work scenarios. We are geared to spend spend spend and 2 incomes is a must for many to keep up.

I am not laying judgement. I just think we need to consider very carefully the long term impact of 20+ hours a week in childcare on young bubs and tots.

Hi there, I respect your decision, but pls don't say anything negative when you do not know the facts. Who said that "childcare centres not good under 1"? Which research are you talking about? If its no good, how come it brought such a great impact on my lil man's developments and behaviours?

Remember, it takes two to tango. Don;t blame the childcares solely if your kids behaviour is playing up etc etc. Think about the home environment etc. One of my friends's kid has a very violent behaviour, she has one sibbling and doesnt go to daycare. But I know that my friend fights a lot with her DH.

Whilst my son, an only child, goes to daycare 2 days/week and yet he is healthy and happy and never throws any tantrum. Why is that? Because me and DH involves in our lil man's upbringing...

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say :)

MummaBear03

03-03-2008, 17:02

I voted No, because that is the decision I have just reached this week.

However I agonised as I was offered 2 days a week and my work were being very flexible. I also had a place at a brilliant centre about a minutes walk form my fornt door.

In the end we have sacrificed financially as I believe he is too young (12mths). I looked at a lot of studies and came to the conclusion that 2 -3 short stints (up to 5 or 6 hours) would have been comfortable for me.

However I am shocked at how 'normalised; long day childcare is in out society. We know from lots of research that 5 days a week or long days - even in top quality centres - is not good for under 1's. And yet workplaces are just not flexible enough and Governemnts encourage return to work scenarios. We are geared to spend spend spend and 2 incomes is a must for many to keep up.

I am not laying judgement. I just think we need to consider very carefully the long term impact of 20+ hours a week in childcare on young bubs and tots.
I don't believe for one minute that a baby would benefit socially from childcare. I think when they are older, like 3 or 4 they would get some benefit from it. It's mostly the mums who benefit from it under that age, and also from reading this, the majority of kids in daycare are there because the parents had no other options, not because the parents wanted them to be there.

Jaileth

03-03-2008, 18:34

Yes, I want my kids to go to day care - ds started there just recently - he goes two part days and loves it.

I wanted him to go to daycare not only because he would cling to me to the point where housework has been impossible, and because he was scared of other kids and I don't want him to be scared of the baby when she arrives. Since being at day care, he has become more confident, more outgoing and is happier to play without me right next to him.

Although daycare may not be for everyone, the positive change in my son makes it worthwhile for me.

Kizmet

03-03-2008, 19:09

my children will be going to pre-school once they are toilet trained so im hoping by DD's 3rd birthday she will be in one day a week.

There are a lot of things children need to learn other than book smarts. She will benefit greatly and the transition to kindergarten will be a lot easier when she has been established in a pre school.

My 2 cents worth on childcare is there needs to be more places available and it needs to be somewhat less expensive! If I was to go back to work (which im not planning on for a while) my entire wage and then some would be going into childcare which just isnt logical at all.

mamavan2

04-03-2008, 08:20

i'll stay home for the children until the last one is 5 and goes to school. i think it is very important for their development AND social skills. daycare does not make your child social: to many kids, to little supervision. at mothersgroups/playgroups there are enough people around to stear them in the right direction, plus that they have the secerity that 'mum' is allways around. my 2 year old is a confident little girl, and wonderfull to take along as well at other people's houses. as for the reason that you put your child in daycare for your own mental development and stimulation: ridiculious!!!! if you want mental stimilous, be creative, read, watch documentaries, join the right groups where you can take your children along, be involved in society; there are many ways to get your mental stimilous without returning to work AND still take care of your children. i really think it is one of those reasons basically saying i am to smart for being a SAHM. no, you're not, you just lack creativity and flexibility.

Ffrenchknickers

04-03-2008, 08:23

I agree with you mamavan:)

Susan Mac

04-03-2008, 12:43

if you want mental stimilous, be creative, read, watch documentaries, join the right groups where you can take your children along, be involved in society; there are many ways to get your mental stimilous without returning to work AND still take care of your children. i really think it is one of those reasons basically saying i am to smart for being a SAHM. no, you're not, you just lack creativity and flexibility.

I know it's off topic, but I'd just like to vent... I hate it when people expect that I must want to go back to work because I've been to university. Surely an intelligent person doesn't want to waste their opportunity for a career....

(no offense intended if you do want to pursue a career, I would just prefer to be a SAHM rather than a career woman)

Okay, sorry, back on topic.

ThomasMum

04-03-2008, 13:23

I know it's off topic, but I'd just like to vent... I hate it when people expect that I must want to go back to work because I've been to university. Surely an intelligent person doesn't want to waste their opportunity for a career....

(no offense intended if you do want to pursue a career, I would just prefer to be a SAHM rather than a career woman)

Okay, sorry, back on topic.

The the intelligent way to deal those people: ignore them! :)

Because no matter what there will always be some negative people around us. People who are negative towards working mothers, people who are negative to full time mums, and the list goes on.

If life's trully good, then just enjoy it :yes:

paula74

04-03-2008, 14:10

Hi No childcare for my bubs :no:

I worked in childcare for 10years and the things that i seen would make anyone not put there child in childcare
I have seen a little girl locked in a cuboard cos she was crying, missing her mummy and other thing i just dont like to talk about it
(Im sure there are great centres out there i worked at sum good ones at the start of my career) And just things that made me stop being a child care worker So for me child care is a big no-no

kristy_lily

05-03-2008, 08:51

My DD (2) has been going to daycare/creche since she was 4 months old.
I started her at one day per week so I could have a me day and do the groceries and any other shopping (we live 1.5 hours away from the city) without having to put her through such a long day.
Last year I changed it so she goes 2 days a week because she's made friends there and asks to go.
She is also starting a "toddlers" learning program at the local school this year.

A lot of people don't agree with my choice of day care but I have found it's been a good thing in DD's life. She is more confident, outgoing, has more friends and I have also found that they can teach her more than what I could.

Canuck

05-03-2008, 10:25

My son has been going to daycare since 7 months - one day a week at first and then full time from 11 months. He absolutely loves it and the socialisation with other children has done him the world of good (and me too!). He is confident and friendly. For us it was the right choice, for others it may not be. I'm, however, glad we opted for childcare. Being around the other children has encouraged him to crawl, then walk and talk. Before daycare he was lagging a little behind in development. He just needed to compete lol.

forbetoel

05-03-2008, 10:33

I agree with you mamavan:)

and I agree with Frenschstar agreeing with mamavan.

Susan Mac.....One of my best friends left a thriving career, to have children and stay at home with them. SHe gets the same comments especially since she put in 4 years at Uni and at 27 was already at the top of her game. She just enjoys her children so much and when the youngest starts school she will be looking for part-time work at the local supermarket so she can still be there for her kids after school.
As my friend says "It's there loss if they don't get why my children would be more important"

storm1277

07-03-2008, 17:14

Nope - I'm extremely keen for my daughter to be raised by her parents and immediate family, though I understand this ideal isn't always going to work. I'm part of a playgroup/mum's group as a result of my antenatal classes, so baby girl gets to do all the socialising stuff there. Kindy will be the go when she's old enough, plus I'd like to get her to have time with her grandparents, play friends etc without me around so she gains confidence in being an independent little girl.

MummaBear03

07-03-2008, 17:23

I've noticed that many of those who have said their child will never attend childcare, and those who have said they HAD to go to work but would rather they didn't have to use it, have come from working in childcare themselves. Just something I've noticed. There don't seem to be too many people who have their kids in daycare by choice that have worked in the field themselves. Anyway, that's all. I agree with Ffrenchstar and mamavan and storm1277 :yes:

Scout

07-03-2008, 20:12

M22B

08-03-2008, 23:21

I agree Scout. Daycare has done my DS a world of good. He loves every minute of it and has a ball playing with many children. Yes he gets to interact with other children while I'm around (children of friends), but they are all working mothers and we dont get to spend alot of time with each other.

I have definitely noticed a change in my DS behaviour since starting daycare, and it has all been for the better. He is extremely well behaved and is finally learning how to share (a big tick from us as his new little sibling is arriving soon!)

Daycare is for some... and isn't for others. I don't see the need for some to be making mums who actually use daycare feel as if they are incapable of helping their children learn new things. I do everything I can to help my little boy learn whether it be reading, singing, counting, going on outings to aquariums/wildlife parks etc. But even still.. him being at daycare just on 4 weeks and he has learnt a hell of a lot! And it has made him alot more social.. he loves being around alot of people and the 16 children in his class I think is perfect for him.

I'm no longer a working mum. As I'm due for number 2 in 2 weeks time. And I must admit those two days he has in care are a godsend for me to be able to get jobs done quickly without having to work around DS's nap time or even to just have a rest!

I think daycare is great. But that's just my opinion. Definitely not putting anyone down for thinking otherwise. There is just no need.

ThomasMum

10-03-2008, 08:00

What's right for those who choose to stay at home and raise their children is equally as right for those who choose to send their child to daycare. I don't know why these arguments continue to "rage" on.

You obviously feel great pride in staying at home. I take an equal amount of pride in being a working mother. I love my DS with all of my heart but I gain a large amount of satisfaction and meet social needs through being at work. I'm also quite career driven and don't apologise for that either.

My son is at daycare 4 days a week - he is a wonderfully well-behaved child and my SAHM friends are green with envy because he has perfect manners and doesn't throw tantrums. All this is being taught to him at daycare. Thankfully, DS is also socially driven and needs to be around a lot of people each day - daycare provides that for him.

Why are women so damned hard on each other?

I agree Scout. Daycare has done my DS a world of good. He loves every minute of it and has a ball playing with many children. Yes he gets to interact with other children while I'm around (children of friends), but they are all working mothers and we dont get to spend alot of time with each other.

I have definitely noticed a change in my DS behaviour since starting daycare, and it has all been for the better. He is extremely well behaved and is finally learning how to share (a big tick from us as his new little sibling is arriving soon!)

Daycare is for some... and isn't for others. I don't see the need for some to be making mums who actually use daycare feel as if they are incapable of helping their children learn new things. I do everything I can to help my little boy learn whether it be reading, singing, counting, going on outings to aquariums/wildlife parks etc. But even still.. him being at daycare just on 4 weeks and he has learnt a hell of a lot! And it has made him alot more social.. he loves being around alot of people and the 16 children in his class I think is perfect for him.

I'm no longer a working mum. As I'm due for number 2 in 2 weeks time. And I must admit those two days he has in care are a godsend for me to be able to get jobs done quickly without having to work around DS's nap time or even to just have a rest!

I think daycare is great. But that's just my opinion. Definitely not putting anyone down for thinking otherwise. There is just no need.

Hear hear on both posts! :yelclap:

Be happy with what you are doing, but pls NO NEED to put down people who doesnt have the same opinion with you.

If youre trully happy with your life, then you will agree with me on this one :yes: :D

~*clairesmum*~

10-03-2008, 08:10

i didnt want her to go to childcare till at least 2yrs of age, but me n my dp thought it through n i needed to get back to work so she went in 2 days a wk as this is wat they suggest to do so the child can get use to the workers she hated it but she had to go as i was working, she got use to it n now she goes 4 days a wk n stays at her auntys house once a wk she loves it n she is in a room with about 8-10 children her age which she loves as i dont have many friends with children n she only has one cousion thats older then her the rest is 10wks old n one shes not aloud to touch due to his mother having OCD

alindrina

10-03-2008, 14:54

My littlest children (Harrison, 4, and Samantha, 21 months) attend a childcare centre two days a week. Samantha started going in November, one day a week, and this week she will start going two days.

They enjoy themselves tremendously and they never get upset.

I need two days a week to try to get all of my housework done, because I can't get it all done with five children always around, and I am 30 weeks pregnant so everything can be difficult physically for me. It will be great to have two days a week alone with the baby when he or she arrives.

I used to send my eldest, William, to a variety of Family Day Care carers and a few friends when he was little and I was working. I couldn't get anyone permanent. I hated sending him to all different places, but I had no choice if I wanted to work. I am glad I worked because we needed to save money, but I am glad now that I stay home. Eventually I would like to work again, and I wish I were better qualified to do so.... but I know what we have sacrificed financially was worth it in terms of being able to spend time with my children.

genegeenie

13-03-2008, 19:42

Hi there, I respect your decision, but pls don't say anything negative when you do not know the facts. Who said that "childcare centres not good under 1"? Which research are you talking about? If its no good, how come it brought such a great impact on my lil man's developments and behaviours?

Remember, it takes two to tango. Don;t blame the childcares solely if your kids behaviour is playing up etc etc. Think about the home environment etc. One of my friends's kid has a very violent behaviour, she has one sibbling and doesnt go to daycare. But I know that my friend fights a lot with her DH.

Whilst my son, an only child, goes to daycare 2 days/week and yet he is healthy and happy and never throws any tantrum. Why is that? Because me and DH involves in our lil man's upbringing...

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say :)

well two days a week is really not what i was talking about. i thought that was clear so sorry to offend you.

my point was that long days for whole weeks isnt the best for babies under 1. i wont sugar coat this opinion as i think its generally regarded as fact.

its pretty easy to find lots of studies that confirm this. try using the 'scholar' search section of google.

tyler's mum

13-03-2008, 19:56

Yep tyler is in day care for 2 days a week stared 4 weeks ago. Its been great she is much happier and the peace has been great

ThomasMum

14-03-2008, 13:19

so sorry to offend you.

its pretty easy to find lots of studies that confirm this. try using the 'scholar' search section of google.

Its ok darl, none taken :)

Thanks about the research. I'm sure there will be A LOT, nowadays you can get anything from Google lol.

Thomas was a " very-well planned" kid (we had him after we finished our study and got our degrees, did work and travel overseas, and bought a house, after weve done all those then we decided to start a family, God Loves us because not long after that I fell pregnant).
Long before he was born, we did lots of readings research etc abt parenting and all including the pros and cons of childcare.
So we have had already thought of those, and putting Thomas to childcare wasn't just because we can or that we had no choice, but because we know it will be good for Thomas, we plan to have one child only so he needs to mingle with his peers and we want him to do it as early as possible.
My dad and my older brother both Ob/Paed and both have the same idea that, playing and learning outside the home environment will brings positiveness towards the child's growth and development.

And I truly believe that. Because we can see it in our lil man. But remember tho, that childcare has a very small role in the upbringing. At the end of the day, the parents are the one who's responsible for their children's behaviour etc. It doesn't matter whether your kids go to childcare or not, if you have a sad and angry environment the chance for the kids to have a bad behaviour is higher than the one who has a loving and caring family.

My friend's kids who have never been to the childcare are both very sullen, always crying, throwing tantrums and etc, that's because they have a "hostile" home, her DH doesn't help, no respect between them, and they always fighting in front of the kids.

So it takes two to tango. If your kids misbehave, don't just blame the childcare/school etc, look around your surrounding first :)

Good luck with your bub btw hey, all the best I hope that you dont need childcare no matter what, and if you did, pls dont feel like that you are a bad mum or anything, these sort of negative attitudes are not worth to have! :yes:

TMx

draught

15-03-2008, 13:24

Hi there, I respect your decision, but pls don't say anything negative when you do not know the facts. Who said that "childcare centres not good under 1"? Which research are you talking about? If its no good, how come it brought such a great impact on my lil man's developments and behaviours?

With respect TM there is actually a large body of research that is accepted that shows that long daycare is not great for children under two. One of the recent reports I can think of without referencing is one by Steven Biddulph that has been used to lobby government to increase funding for parents to be able to stay home for longer. So in fact there is a great deal of information that supports this statement.

However that doesn't mean that people shouldn't use childcare, nor that it will always have a negative effect on children. One of the major issues appears to be that children need to have an ongoing relationship with only one or two primary carers. So if your child is in a care situation where there is consistency of care and they establish a good relationship with their main carer they will often be in a great situation.

What we need to remember is that not all care is bad, and not all staying at home situations are good - either for the child or the parent. We all make the most of our own situations and do the best with what we can.

My personal view is that the Federal government in providing funding for childcare should take responsibility for the quality of the care that they are funding and ensure that children are in fact receiving good quality, safe and secure care, no matter what their parents' income and no matter where they live.

Scout

15-03-2008, 13:53

Thomas' Mum - you and I sound so similar and think the same in many ways.

I could have written your last past almost word for word!

:hugs:

bootiful

15-03-2008, 17:01

My daughter is 2.5yrs and started daycare a few weeks ago.

I put her in purely for social interaction and learning as our mothers group doesnt meet often anymore and she doesnt get any other interaction with kids her age.

She loves it and i might even up it to 2 days in 6 months or so. She loves her teachers and has heaps of fun with the other kids. In the few weeks she has been there her confidence has shot through the roof and when i go to pick her up she doesnt even notice me there and then sooks when i say its home time.

draught

15-03-2008, 19:19

Its ok darl, none taken :)

But remember tho, that childcare has a very small role in the upbringing. At the end of the day, the parents are the one who's responsible for their children's behaviour etc. It doesn't matter whether your kids go to childcare or not, if you have a sad and angry environment the chance for the kids to have a bad behaviour is higher than the one who has a loving and caring family.

I should have added - I agree with this 100%.

There are pluses and minuses to every situation with children in care or not in care but at the end of the day if they have a loving supportive home no matter what the situation you will have done your very best.

MummaBear03

15-03-2008, 19:37

I should have added - I agree with this 100%.

There are pluses and minuses to every situation with children in care or not in care but at the end of the day if they have a loving supportive home no matter what the situation you will have done your very best.
I semi-agree with this, but when you look at how many waking hours a child has in a day, and then take out the 60 hours they are in care each week, they don't all get lots of time at home. Take out the 74 hours they are sleeping at night, and the 60 hours they are in daycare, and work out how many hours they actually have at home awake, about 22 total waking hours at home, as opposed to 55 waking hours in childcare. Based on them sleeping 12 hours at night and an hour in the day. That's not even including if they are from split parent families and go to the non-custodial parents house every second weekend or for one day each week or whatever the arrangement is. Ok, for my DD's half-siblings (twins) they have been in full-time childcare from 7am to 6pm Monday to Friday from 8 weeks old. When they parents split up they were spending Sundays with their father and her family were taking them some Saturdays. She was not working and not studying, she was able to get subsidised full time care because she had 4 kids (2 older boys from other relationships) and that is classed as a large family. I think that the more time a child is at home, the more influence you have over them and I fail to see how it can be good for children to spend that much time in care. I know that it's a necessity for many families, but I can't see that it's good for them. A day or 2 each week may be good for them, but most families I know who use it for a day or 2 a week and have the child in care purely to give them that social interaction, it tends to be used from 9 to 3 or for half days rather than full 8 to 5 days. Steven Biddulph's study was very interesting to read, but not at all surprising. I've worked in childcare for a very long time and also in schools and the children that have been in full time childcare from the time they were infants, well, you certainly can tell them apart from those who either didn't go at all or went for a small part of the week, such as half days or just a couple of days each week. That's just from what I've seen, not to be taken as gospel though :flowerz: I haven't met every single child in the country to see how all of them are.

Scout

16-03-2008, 13:05

I think that the more time a child is at home, the more influence you have over them and I fail to see how it can be good for children to spend that much time in care. I know that it's a necessity for many families, but I can't see that it's good for them. A day or 2 each week may be good for them, but most families I know who use it for a day or 2 a week and have the child in care purely to give them that social interaction, it tends to be used from 9 to 3 or for half days rather than full 8 to 5 days. Steven Biddulph's study was very interesting to read, but not at all surprising. I've worked in childcare for a very long time and also in schools and the children that have been in full time childcare from the time they were infants, well, you certainly can tell them apart from those who either didn't go at all or went for a small part of the week, such as half days or just a couple of days each week. That's just from what I've seen, not to be taken as gospel though :flowerz: I haven't met every single child in the country to see how all of them are.

It's these blanket statements that drive me crazy!

Isn't it about what is best for families? If I was to stay at home with DS everyday or for most of the week, then we would be a miserable family. DS is very much like me and needs constant stimulation - work provides that for me and daycare provides that for him. As a result, we are a very happy family. DP is also happy because he isn't dealing with a severely depressed partner and a screaming toddler.

My son is very well-adjusted, emotionally secure, has excellent manners and only throws tantrums occasionally. We are absolutely stoked with that - between home and daycare, we've got the mix right for us!

In fact, I often joke that my son going so well because I've outsourced the majority of my parenting and I'm getting true value for money!

MummaBear - I know that you are only stating what you feel to be true and I respect that! ;) I really wanted to be a SAHM but only lasted 9 months, unfortunately the nightmare that it became just wasn't worth it.

ETA - I wished we lived in the same state, I'd love you to meet my little guy; I love showing him off as a product of daycare.

ThomasMum

17-03-2008, 08:20

With respect TM there is actually a large body of research that is accepted that shows that long daycare is not great for children under two

Hi T *wave* (long time no see! you are in Canberra now?!!)

Yeah I do know that there are many researches/study abt these sort of things weve been doing some researches long before Thomas was born, but my point is that just because "there are" some research had given the "answer" of that long day-care is not great for children under two doesn't mean its final, that's it, doesn't mean that childcare IS bad.
No. As you said, it doesn't mean that "people shouldn't use childcare, nor that it will always have a negative effect on children".

Oh and I have nothing to say abt Steve Biddluph and his theories lol.

Thomas' Mum - you and I sound so similar and think the same in many ways.

I could have written your last past almost word for word!

:hugs:

I too love your works Scout! :yelclap:

It's these blanket statements that drive me crazy!

Hi Scout, you know what darl. Don't bother. You and your family are all well and happy yeah? And that's all the matters! :hugs:

Have a good read in this thread, most of moms whose children at day-care/childcare have written positive inputs abt childcares.

So... pls people don't be like my ignorant friend, who'd swore till blue that childcare is bad la la la before she experience it, guess who's kid going to childcare and loving it and that the childcare has given good inputs to her kids behaviours??? Her kid!! :rolleyes:

I'm not going to debate or post anymore reply here. I think I've said enough :yes:

childcare has a very small role in the upbringing. At the end of the day, the parents are the one who's responsible for their children's behaviour etc. It doesn't matter whether your kids go to childcare or not, if you have a sad and angry environment the chance for the kids to have a bad behaviour is higher than the one who has a loving and caring family.

If your kids misbehave, don't just blame the childcare/school etc, look around your surrounding first

forbetoel

17-03-2008, 13:10

So... pls people don't be like my ignorant friend, who'd swore till blue that childcare is bad la la la before she experience it, guess who's kid going to childcare and loving it and that the childcare has given good inputs to her kids behaviours??? Her kid!! :rolleyes:

:yes:

Um...that is not ignorant. It is not ignorant to think that childcare is not good for your child. I don't ever want any of my children to spend one day of their little lives in childcare, I hate childcare, I am the mum and I will do the care. That is not ignorant, that is just an opinion.

I have no opinion on others who send their children to childcare at all, I just have very strong opinions on mine going.That is not ignorance. Your friend wasn't ignorant, just wary, which I think would be a healthy approach. And isn't it great that childcare worked out for her in the end.:)

MummaBear03

17-03-2008, 13:17

ETA - I wished we lived in the same state, I'd love you to meet my little guy; I love showing him off as a product of daycare.
I really wish we lived closer too so I could let you meet my child. I love showing her off as a product of being at home for the majority of her life, only going to daycare for a few hours a week and not going at all until she was almost 2 and then only going for 2 or 3 hours twice a week when I started work, staying with family the other days. I'm very proud of who she has become, from being raised how she is rather than from childcare ;)

musicalmummy

18-03-2008, 09:03

I really don't like the thought of sending my kids to childcare, that is my opinion for my kid. I had kids because i wanted to and want to be the one who sees them reach milestones. dd does go once a week since she turned one, to family day care. it's due to the fact that i have no rel's here except my sister who has 3 of her own kids, therefor ei want dd to get used to being with other people, and also for myself as i probably got too attchd to her.
However.....i worked in childcare for 10years before having my own children. There are benefits and non benefits. some one in a post up there said the more time they are at home the more influence you have on them. i agree totally. but that can also be a bad thing, whch is when full time day care is the best thing for a child.we knew of parents who would constantly be stoned, they dropped their child off and were stoned or drunk, they swore at their child, child was dirty. so in cases like these the child is better off. yes of course we document these incidences and report them but mor etimes than not unfortunately nothing gets done.

musicalmummy

18-03-2008, 09:09

MummaBear03

18-03-2008, 14:14

AliyahBlake

19-03-2008, 07:59

Basically, my answer is yes and no!! No I don't really want them in child care - in a perfect world I would love my kids to stay at home until they are school age and for me to look after them and oversee their learning and development completely. Unfortunately it is not a perfect world.......DH and I have a mortgage and with rising interest rates and cost of living, I have no choice but to work. Believe me, I would love to be a full time SAHM, but it's just not an option! In saying that things will be different for my 4 mo DS than they were for my now 3 yo DD.

When my DD was 6 months, we placed her in family day care as I had to return to work. It nearly broke my heart, but luckily it was only for 2 days a week, so I could still spend heaps of time with her while she was growing up. She now goes to preschool 2 days a week and loves it. My DS, on the other hand, will not be going to daycare as we simply can't afford to have 2 kids in care. When I return to work from maternity leave in May, I will be doing shifts which are in the late evening. This will allow me to look after my DS during the day and also my DD on the days she is not at preschool. My DH will take care of the kids once I go to work.

I am a little on the fence with daycare - my experiences with family day care have been pretty positive, but it still would have been nice to have my DD at home full time. I will still be sending her to preschool even though circumstances are different this time around, as she just loves it and I think it's great for her socialisation and learning prior to attending "big school" in a couple of years time. Even though my DS will be at home full time with me now, we will still send him to preschool once he turns 3 for the same reason.

Gone Bananas

19-03-2008, 19:14

I am a SAHM and I send my two year old for a half day every week, have done for about a month. He needs the social skills:laughing:. Also I go back to stufy soon and my family look after him but I would like to have a back up place that he is used to as well.

jorey

19-03-2008, 20:40

I would say yes, but only 2 days a week for me. I stayed home for 6 months when ds was born. When I went back to teaching for 2 days a week, my dh managed to work from home those 2 days. So ds spent his first 17 months at home. I started working 3 days a week this year. As a result, we sent ds to daycare 2 days a week because dh has to go back to work in the office. Ds waves goodbye and blows kisses when we drop him off and spend about half a day there. I pick him up at 3pm. We would go home and still have plenty of time to do things together.

I actually chose to go back to work because I just didn't survive being a stay at home mum full time. I think everyone is different, some can some can't. I really enjoy working and have something else to focus on which is also my passion - teaching. Ds also get his time with other kids just for half a day 2 days a week. I personally think it is working quite well. I would never let ds go daycare full time because that means he will have less time at home and he is still young, he needs mummy. I still recognised that dh and I are the persons responsible looking after him.:D

rendez

20-03-2008, 11:31

I'm a childcare worker and i also have a 6 month son in cae 5 days a week from 8 til about 5 (sometimes earlier). I strongly belive and have witnessed as both a mother and child care worker that no matter of the age children do benifit from being in care. of course this is not always the case, some centres are not as good for development, but this relates to that child care centre, not all of them. i have worked in many and seen alot of things i do not like, but then i didnt send my son there of course. i sent him to a centre that has a fantastic reputation and have loving and caring staff. and i didnt even discover this about this centre through my work, but through investegastion as all parents can do. when looking for a centre go to the NCAC website about questions you should ask, and if something doesnt fit right with you, try anouther one. Im not trying to attack any1 in this post, just to point out that centres can be fantastic for children if it is the right one. There is also alot of research on the benifits of childcare too. so consider these before deciding.

SamKai

20-03-2008, 12:44

I am also voting yes.

I actually work within the industry and due to financial obligations i need to return to work. Although i am lucky i get to take Kai with me.

i will be working 3 days a week and he will also be attending on those days.
i am hoping the transition goes smoothly.

BoyzMummy

22-03-2008, 20:30

No I don't want my children to go to a childcare centre because I am a SAHM and there are other options for my children to interact with other children. I don't see the point in taking a much needed position away from working parents when my child really doesn't need to be there. Besides we had children to raise them ourselves and see their achievements for ourselves not to be told about them by someone else. I am lucky in the fact that I have a supportive husband and family for my 'Mummy' time.

On the flip side if our financial situation was different and I needed to work then yes my children would need to be in care but I would prefer family day care.

mimunchkins

23-03-2008, 09:44

I think we should all be supportive of whatever mum's decide. Everyone has different circumstances and so therefore choose different options.

I personally have my daughter in full-time care and my son stays with the in-laws. Financially we need me to work full-time. My hubby stays home 1 day a week with my little boy.

I had postnatal depression & didn't feel I could cope at home. I felt I could be the best mum for my kids by returning to work. & it really was the best thing. My kids cope very well, they're happy children and confident children.

Every mum needs to be confident with the decision that they make. We all feel guilty sometimes regardless of which decision that happens to be - but we are all doing our BEST, and I don't think we can deny that!

M22B

23-03-2008, 12:14

Well said mimunchkins. Couldn't agree more.:iagree:

Kazamataz

24-03-2008, 15:15

I don't "want" my son to go to childcare but I do want to go back to work, So he will be going to childcare this year.

Although I feel more comfortable with him going to childcare because I work in childcare.

So i will always be close by, even if I'm not in his room.

angel74

27-03-2008, 13:28

I don't want my child to go into childcare, but sadly have no choice. I'd love to be a SAHM for the first year or so. But finances dictate that I can only take 5 months off work :no: It's going to be really hard to go back to work full time and hand my baby over to someone else to raise at such an early age.

jaydasmummy

28-03-2008, 20:52

MummaBear03

28-03-2008, 20:59

I am due 7 June with my first bub. I will be a stay at home mum however believe even babies should start learning social skills as early as possible.

I am thinking of putting my little girl in child care one afternoon a week before she is a year old. Does anyone know from experience what age would be best? Is 6 months too early?
From my experience as a childcare worker, I would say not under 2 unless there was a reason for it like if the mother needs a break or returns to work or something but they don't benefit before 2. As a mother though I would say children don't belong in childcare unless it's unavoidable but that's JMO and my child goes 3 days a week so I can earn some money to keep us afloat and not have a bank account in the negatives.

CurtyandTigersmummy

30-03-2008, 22:23

I said yes... My DS goes to daycare - but DD doesnt and wont for a very LOOOONG time!!

Ffrenchknickers

30-03-2008, 22:28

Jaydasmum....there are plenty of ways for kids to learn social skills without going to childcare:yes: Look around for playgroups etc then you can be with bub all the time but they get to interact with other children too....they learn everything from you so even going to the shops and watching you interact with people is a learning experience and chances are your social skills will be more desirable than some ofthe other children in the childcare room! JMO:) I think 6 months is too young because they cant understand where you have gone:no:

forbetoel

31-03-2008, 17:19

oconky

31-03-2008, 17:35

Hi, this is a big thread for a first time user. I am due for baby #1 in June, and am not planning to use childcare, as I have family around and DH does shift work and work is flexible so should be about to go back without it. I feel that when bub is older I will probably have some type of childcare. voted no because that is my immediate plan and I don't really want to use childcare fulltime...however who knows what we may be looking at in the future.

Ffrenchknickers

31-03-2008, 18:44

Couldn't agree more. Honestly I just couldn't.....I tried, but no, I am over flowing already in agreement....No room for anymore.

:laughing:

:hugs:

CrazyMummi

02-04-2008, 08:00

I dont really want my son to go to childcare.

But i have to work so i send him and he seems to really enjoy it there..

Frankie41

02-04-2008, 14:43

Yes, but not until he's much older- atleast 3, just for the social aspect and to get him ready for big school!

tysteetay

02-04-2008, 15:57

Not quite sure how to respond to the poll. Due to financial reasons I have to go back to work and we have secured full time childcare for DS as of Feb next year. I don't want to put him in full-time but I have no option. It's taken me a good few months to get used to being a SAHM and pretty soon I have to go back to work :(

Ideally both DF and I would work 4 days per week so that DS would only be in child care 3 days per week.

So no, I don't want to put him in childcare especially as he's so young but we have no choice.
I have 2 girls Taylah 3yrs 4 1/2 months and Ryleigh 4 1/2 months. i went back to fulltime shift work when my oldest was only 3 months old which meant full time daycare. i knew the girls and spent lots of time getting her adjusted, i have a bright confident little girl who had all the carers wrapped around her little finger and has an amazing vocabulary and extensive knowledge (thinks she knows everything). she is happy to go have sleepovers and give us a break sometimes but at the same time when she's upset or not well she wants her mummy. and i am happy to leave work to tend to her needs. she is now a big sister and her little sister is 4 1/2 months old and breastfed. (Big sis couldn't) Taylah is the most well adapted and gentle little angel who loves mum and dad and her sister. Her sister on the other hand wont so much as let me leave her with my mother whilst i use the toilet!!! I would go back to work if i didn't have to pay 90 bucks out of pocket a day for child care. I now operate a family daycare from home and work in alliance with a childcare/babysitting agency so there are loads of options out there for you. It is hard to think someone can care for your child as well as you can but believe me no one can replace you but it is good for them....
Check out Family daycare australia. if you own your home it's a good job to make ends meet and keep you with your kids!!
Goodluck!

Nena

02-04-2008, 17:32

Daycare has been a really positive experience for all of us. We had a nanny for a while but when she left we went to daycare - the social interaction has really helped my 20 month old. What's more, i think i'm a better mum for getting back to work. It's a very personal decision and a tricky one. Finding the right childcare centre that works for you is half the battle...

bellangel3

02-04-2008, 19:33

My little girl is starting child care next week for the first time. I was a bit apprehensive at first with the whole idea, but after speaking to a few mums and having a tour I'm more relaxed about the whole situation. We are sending her there for financial reasons... I have to work. But I'm sure she will benefit greatly from the social interaction.

flummoxed

12-04-2008, 10:10

I want them to go because they want to go.

They are bored at home. This is not good.

They want to go.

madjedjjlill

23-04-2008, 09:24

I voted yes I love being a stay at home mum but with all my other kids they started daycare at around 2 for only 1 day a week just 2 get the interaction with other kids an 2 give me a day 2 do all the running around bill paying an grocery shopping

Tisme

25-04-2008, 08:29

My eldest child started childcare at 2 and he loved it right from the start. He was identified at 2.5 as gifted and talented, a fact which at home I didn't pick up on as he was my first child even though I am an EC trained teacher.

My second started at 6 weeks so that I could return to work 3 days a week and though I felt a little guilty by the time she was 6 months a little more aware of things she LOVED going. She would dive out of my arms to the carers as soon as we were in the door.

my third was 10 weeks when he started and he rules the roost.

I find that childcare helped my children learn to respect their peers and stand up for themselves in a positive way.

I also use my long day care centre for my school aged child during holidays, a number of his friends go and by the second week of the holidays he is bored at home and wants to see his friends.

noodle

04-05-2008, 13:14

Yes :)

MY DD (13 months) goes to family daycare 2 days per week, her Nana's 1 day a week and her Grandma's 1 day and I am home with her Friday, Saturday & Sunday :)

This is because I want to work, I returned to work when she was 3 months old because I love my job and was incredibley frustrated by staying home with DD every day. She loves family day care and is (so far!) a very happy well-adjusted baby :)

joankiss

04-05-2008, 18:49

Yes, sometimes . you know single parents now are not so easy. Sometime they have to just rely on childcare.

mamacaz

07-05-2008, 13:11

I voted no because I've always wanted to be a stat at home mum. But that's my personal choice. I believe that it's neither right or wrong. Everyone has their own needs and you should do what's right for you. I'm sick of the constant battle between what's right and what's wrong for mothers. It seems to be a situation where you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. No wonder mothers are stressed! We have enough on our plates without having to worry about what others think. Personally I don't like the idea of childcare until the child turns 4 to prepare them for school. But again, with my next child I may think differently. Each child is different. Some need that extra stimulation. My DD wasn't ready until she was 4. By this time she started to get bored. Another factor is financial situations. A lot of people have no choice but return to work. No matter what your choice is, it should be respected by others. In the end if you and your child are happy then nothing else matters.:bee:

Auntyamber

09-05-2008, 15:46

mum of six

21-06-2008, 18:08

My child does go to childcare has done since the middle of last yr,and i will continue doing so until she starts kinder...It has learnt her heaps and gives her time to play with kids her own age as there is none around me...

Aquamarine

21-06-2008, 18:21

I have worked in several long daycare centres and have never felt comfortable putting my own children in any.

My boys only went to preschool when they were 3 1/2 and 4 years of age to prepare for school. This I am happy with.

Mum2Bella

22-06-2008, 00:01

im not planning on going back to volunteer work so my youngest wont be going to daycare

kellyanneg

05-07-2008, 20:50

:yelclap:I have a dd 2 1/5 who started at a fantastic day care centre, 1 day a week at about 18mths. At 2 years i had a ds and decided to enrol her in a second day.

She love day care and acctually cries if she cant go due to hoildays or sickness. I do all my shopping, most of my cleaning and spend quality time with my 6 mth old son on the 2 days shes at day care. She was grown so much and developed so well since being at day care. I know she enjoys it and i think that both of us getting a break makes the other 5 days more enjoyable. At first i was upset at the thought at putting her in, but definatly no regrets now.

I will wait till my ds is 18mths and if i think he is ready for a day at Daycare i wont hesisatate as i did with dd.:smiliedance:

Amy91andLilUns

09-07-2008, 01:53

megaminz

09-07-2008, 06:29

I replied no, but only cause if I can avoid it I would prefer them not to go to childcare in really early years...but if I have to go back to work they will have to.

However I do think playgroups daycare etc are great socialisation for them so I would answer yes for when they are 18-24 months stage but not for when they are are wee tots

guerin

10-07-2008, 15:41

I voted yes but not fully until she is around 2 years of age. I will probably put her in earlier at around 18 months for a few days a week so she gets used to it.

Why.

Well I did like working.
I would like her to play with other children.

guerin

10-07-2008, 15:48

I voted No as I worked in 5 childcare centres and have never entered one I would be happy to leave my child in. I have also worked as a nanny and family daycare provider and Hvae come to the conclusion that if when i have children i HAVE to go back to work i would be trying as hard as possible to find a family member to care for my child or would hire a nanny but i can ensure you i would have video cameras in every room of my house. I have seen first hand the way some nannies and family daycare mums treat children and it breaks my heart. If i feel my children arn't getting the social interaction they need i'll join things such as playgroups, mothers group, tumblebugs, kindermusic ect.

What you have posted is exactly why I wouldn't hire a Nanny or a mother taking care of a few children. I did when younger a little bit of time working in a childcare centre and yes sometimes the childcare workers did get a bit annoyed with the children and to be honest I couldn't blame them. However if a child did get too much they would take them to another child care worker just so they can take a deep breath and calm down. A nanny or mother by themselves cannot do that and no matter how much they claim to love children, no body loves children as much as their parents whether they be biological or adoptive.

preciousbabyboy

10-07-2008, 15:56

yes, 1 day a week for social interaction with other children their age :thumbsup:

cja

10-07-2008, 16:06

I voted yes.

I think it is really important that you trust and like the people who are looking after your children. If I wasn't happy with the centre I wouldn't send my children.

My 19mth old goes for 8hrs a week, 2hrs at a time spread over 4 days. He loves it. I think he has learnt so much from going.

My 5mth old mostly goes for the same time. I would rather not send her because I think she is too young to get the same benefits my 19mth old gets from going. However, for me to work partime she has to go.

I spent 4mths as a SAHM after DD was born, looking after her and DS. While I enjoyed this time, I am much happier being back at work part time. Like others have said I love the adult interaction and the challenges of my work, I am passionate about the field I work in and while others have suggested SAHM should read books for mental stimulation this doesn't cut it for me!! I am a better Mum and a happier person when I go to work. What ever works for your family.....

mum2bubba

12-07-2008, 14:27

Well Hayley will be going to kinder next year and Skye has her name down for occasional care for one day a week (for 3 hours) but I wish I had of put them into occasional care from a younger age but we kept moving house (we were renting). It would be good to get a break and also good for the kids so they can get away from mummy for a bit (especially if I am grumpy) and also so they can make some friends. I wouldn't want them in childcare full time just one day a week.

MummyGoingMad

19-08-2008, 23:55

I voted yes, but I wouldnt want every day. One day a week to start would be great, maybe 2 eventually. It would be great socially for them and would also give me a break. Wishful thinking tho cos its not worth me working and we cant afford it :laughing:

Ronni78

20-08-2008, 06:28

NO NO NO! But unfortunately I have to go back to work soon :(

pixiemum2

20-08-2008, 08:31

I voted no as in full time child care but I do want DS (who is 2) to go in 1/2 day per week so I can have a break. He also needs some socialisation and a bit of stimulating activity.

I wouldn't put my 8 month old in child care though.

Claire26

20-08-2008, 10:32

I vote no especially after working in childcare for 8 years!

Although it is a great way for your children to learn social skills and all that jazz........

Its sad tho when you see lil ones from the age of 6 weeks in a centre full time (some are there till the day they go to school) 5 days a week and from 6 30am till 6 30pm. The amount of times ive seen these kids grow up not knowing anything different from child care is amazing! Ive been called "mum" copious amounts of time and it breaks my heart.

I had my son in the same centre i worked at and he did benefit from being in a social environment, but you know too much when youve worked in that field for so long!!!!!!

Sweetcat

20-08-2008, 13:04

I vote yes but in my case I will have her in daycare for only 1 day per week from about 4 months old. My reasoning is that both me and DH were very shy children who had no socialisation from an early age. We both struggled with this even as adults so I think having exposure to other kids is very important.

NibbleCurlynBub

20-08-2008, 13:09

No, never. :no:

There are tons of great Mum-included ways for my kids to meet other kids and they don't have to be put in separate rooms!
I think they are both WAY too young to be with strangers. :)

dm22

20-08-2008, 13:28

i would like my kids to go 1 day a week just to give me a day to get things done and so they get a bit more stimulated and make friends etc. but unfortunately its out of our budget- we cant afford it. i work 3 days a week for 5 hours a day but the boys are cared for by my hubby and then he goes to work once i finish.

Lovebug

27-09-2008, 14:53

I voted yes, but hmm, am still not so sure.
I have forever been against childcare & pro-SAHM during the early years especially.
Our 2yr old however, is extremely sociable & after our playgroup closed :( & our mums&bubs exercise classes ended, he was really missing interaction with little people. Story-time at the library just wasn't cutting it for him. If he had sibblings, I would have kept him at home, but as he didn't, I set out to find out if there was a good childcare centre out there, education & FUN focused, with similiar values/ideals, NOT just a glorified baby-sister. I looked at 3 and they reinforced the terrible impression & opinion I have of childcare - but I then went to 2 that were FANTASTIC!
He's on an 8mth waiting list to get into my no.1 choice, but has been going to no.2 choice for the past 10wks, 1 day a week. He LOVES it & is learning heaps of g8 stuff from there. We had a few tough times initially with him getting too much of whatever he wanted at childcare & then resenting coming under parental teaching when he came home, but that was quickly sorted out through talks & cuddles with him, us standing firm & being consistent, & also discussing with childcare & asking them to do a directed activity 1-on-1 with him during the day, where he was encouraged (well, 'made') to partcipate whether he wanted to or not.
Made the world of difference - he returned to his normal, kind, bubbly, polite self instantly!
Childcare recently offered us a 'free' day, so he's going 2 days a week for the next 2 months, then will go back to 1.

CONS of childcare:
The ILLNESSES!!! Since he started childcare 2 months ago we have been sick - 2 vomit & diarrhoea bugs, 2 lots of sinus colds, 1 sore throat cold, laryngitis, and one really nasty virus which has had us in coughing fits, short breath & respiratory prob's, blocked sinuses, tonsilitis, etc for 2 weeks so far! It's been TERRIBLE! And... we eat well (now organic), take vitamins, get plenty of sleep, until 2 months ago exercised & have been very healthy. Yet, we're sicker than we've EVER been in our life!
He has 1 more week, then I'm taking him out for 3 weeks, if when he goes back the sickness starts again, I'm pulling him out.
I'll be sorry to do it, because he LOVES it & will miss it incredibly, but we can't go on living like this!

bronnie1211

27-09-2008, 23:21

I think it is important for kids to be able to play with other kids but i would prefer play group. Then I can make friends too. One or two days of childcare wouldn't hurt if you don't have time for playgroup. i wouldn't want my kids in childcare full time. I feel like a bad mum when i leave them with my partner for a day, so i wouldn't like that.

pinkgingham

28-09-2008, 10:31

i always said i wouldnt. that being a sahm it should be my job to take care of them and no one elses. but when DS started to reach 2 i started to think about it. he was and still is a handful and having a second child, i needed the time with my DD and he needed to be able to interact with other kids. daycare has been really good for him in alot of other ways regarding, sleep, eating, behaviour etc. he currently goes 2 days a week.

ontheway

28-09-2008, 10:50

Baby86

28-09-2008, 22:16

I voted yes.
DD1 started 2 days a week when she was 9wks old. I had a tour of the centre, and liked it and the staff straight away. Having some time to myself (im a single mum) probably saved my sanity. She has now been going for over a year. I never have problems with her being clingy when i drop her off, and all i have to say is 'childcare' and she gets excited and tries to drag her nappy bag to the door...:laughing:

I think its great for the social interaction she gets, and the break i get.

confusd

28-09-2008, 22:24

i dont want her to, but i want her to socialize with kids her age.

i heard so many bad things about so many childcare places, and stories of kids hurting other kids that i think i would stress out with her being there.

maybe for a day or two when she is older for a social thing but not sure yet

mama2jandh

29-09-2008, 13:53

I voted no.

We go to playgroup, my DS socialises there, and we do other activities. :)

Threadkiller

13-10-2008, 12:28

I voted yes all my kids have been to daycare, my youngest DD2 is currently in daycare 2 days a week. I do this for a social thing aswell and also so i get a break and get to do the things i need to do as she gets to much going shopping. And so she can get used to going so it wont be so hard on her when she goes to prep in 2010 :D

cinnamonbear

13-10-2008, 12:35

no i dont

especailly b4 2 yrs of age

but i possibly will be doing it.. so i can start p/t study and be qualified for a good paying job for when she starts school

i already have a cert IV in business amongst my othdontic training.. but i dont want to persue these career paths anymore

So back to study i go

i would love to be a SAHM..but if i want to provide the very best for my daughter this is just not possible not on a SPP anyway.

PhillipaW

12-11-2008, 13:20

I don't want my baby to go to childcare. But when he gets older, say after 2 I might put him in a couple days a week or so so he can socialise. I want to be a SAHM but I still want to do things that I won't be able to do with a baby. It's good I have other family members such as MIL, FIL and my own father who will be able to help when I need a break.

BJelly

12-11-2008, 17:42

I don't like the idea of childcare unless it is an absolute last resort. I'm lucky that I can stay home with the kids and if I need help I have my parents who can mind my kids for me.

My DD started kindy this year - I don't mind that as she is 3 years old and can communicate well. I was careful to ensure the kindy was staffed by well trained people with lots of experience and that many of the staff had been there for many years.

I'd be loathe to put my child in the care of poorly trained, poorly paid people who are likely to leave within a year.

I believe that the ability to bond with caregivers is very important to babies and young children.

Also as good as childcare can be to socialise children, it can't replace the loving play of a parent or close caregiver who can cuddle, tickle the child or even be climbed over by a child. In this age of awareness of paedophilia one of the unfortunate consequences is that loving playful touching has become almost taboo unless the child is with a parent. And this is very sad in an age when many people feel alienated and isolated in modern society - I believe loving playful touch is vital if our children are to grow into confident, empathetic and loving adults.

maybe1more

13-11-2008, 11:37

My boys have just started daycare. My oldest is 5 and i put him in because next year he goes to pre school which is 5 full days a week, atm he is in kindy 2 days a week so i did it to help him adjust for next year, he has been going for 3 weeks and will go untill the end of term 4.
My ds2 is 2 years old and he loves it. He thinks he`s going to school and grabs his bag to get going. My boys both go on the same day to the same center and they can interact with each other with is comforting to know.
So its a yes from me:D

~ElectricPink~

14-11-2008, 21:36

I voted yes.....I am a young single mum, and my decision to put my son in care for one day a week from 1 yr old is something that I never regret. It helps to de stress me, and in turn I feel that I can be a better mother for my son for the other 6 days a week! My son initially took awhile to adjust, and I would cry as I left him there as I hated leaving him with anyone else! But now he absolutely loves going and interacting with his little friends and teachers, I have watched him become a more confident child from it, and I am glad that I made this decision. I also like that he can learn things there that I may not think of teaching him, and that he is in a fully secure and happy environment with lots of other little playmates around. He will be going into care two days as of next yr so I can study at tafe part time, and I am positive that he is ready!
However, saying that, I would not put my son into care for more than two days a week until he is 4 as I feel that he needs his mummy around while he is still young enough to want me there :)

starfishtrish

15-11-2008, 18:46

I voted yes - although my daughter's not in childcare yet, kids I know who have gone (even younger ones, like pre-1) have benefited immensely from it & I don't think there's a "one size fits all" answer to any question about raising kids.
We're down on a waiting list for childcare - I'd really like her to go to a non-profit childcare centre, - but I'm confident that wherever we end up sending her, it'll be something we do with understanding of our personal situation & love for our daughter, so it'll be the right thing for us. :flowerz:

MissAlana

15-11-2008, 20:23

I voted yes but with a BUT.

Not until our baby will be about 2.5 ish. I will be taking next year off and my partner will take the following year off, after this time the baby will be in part-time childcare, the baby might have the odd day in childcare before this though. We dont have any family in the same state! So its not really an option for us not to have childcare worked in somewhere. It is important for children to have both internal and external care - I think anyway. An ability to be flexible is important, I know a few children that are so scared of anything different. I dont believe that childcare is harmful or scary as long as you go to the right place.

i laughed when I read this topic as there are always peopling say childcare is evil or shouldnt happen. Unfortunately in such a fragmented society that we now live in, that is the case for most families!

Its a hard situation and everyone is different depending on many socio-economic factors, ultimately as long as there is love and attention all the child will be fine!

PS - I also think its very important for the parents to get T/O for a period of time, doesnt necessarily mean childcare but time without the children too. To look after themselves and thier relationships. I know too many women who live completely through there children. We need our time too.

ardora

17-11-2008, 10:35

I voted yes - I went to childcare and loved it. My nephews and nieces too. Plus I want to keep on working, I love my job and it makes me a better person. My baby will benefit of a better mother if I can do my work - I will slow down of course to have more time for baby and I am lucky enough that my job allows me some flexibility.

:goodvibes:

rae01

07-01-2009, 17:12

I vote yes

I worked in a childcare centre prior to having my baby and I guess knowing I can take him to work with me helps with my decision that he will attend childcare when I decide to return to work. I know the people who will care for him are truly caring and knowledgable and he will be well looked after and gain valuable social skills to help when he is old enough to go to school.

mumof2fairyfans

08-01-2009, 09:03

I have friends who work in the childcare industry, and they themselves are adamant that they would never put their own children there. I think that says something! I'm lucky enough to have had the choice to stay home or return to work, I know a lot of women aren't that fortunate. Therefore, my children have never been to a daycare situation - and they certainly aren't socially stunted because of it!

FatBigToe

16-02-2009, 18:46

I voted no. I have always wanted and planned to be a sahm, although I do worry sometimes about social interaction. As long as I manage to meet some other people with kids further down the track and go to playgroup etc i'm sure it will be fine!

RockmelonDreams

17-02-2009, 14:17

Originally I was against childcare before I had my daughter and then I found myself in a situation where I was diagnosed by my GP with post natal depression and has absolutely no support. I had no family, no friends, no one who could take my child for half an hour to give me a break or to attend dr's appointments. Eventually with the help of my dr I overcome my guilt and feeling of failure and placed my daughter in childcare for 2 days a week. It was the best thing I ever did both for myself and for my child who came out of her shell and stopped being so clingy and dependant she made friends and learned things that I wasn't able to teach her at the time. I was one of these women who judged others who had put their children into childcare but until your in a situation where you are completely alone and have NO help at all you can't understand why parents make the choices that they do. It's upsets me now when I hear parents say "Oh I would never put my child into childcare" and then you find out that they leave their child with family at least once a week because for people who don't have family child care is their only option.

just her chameleon

17-02-2009, 21:51

I voted no, but DD will be in childcare from next week.

It breaks my heart that I am sending a 5mth old to daycare but I have no choice. It's getting too hard at work to take her along, and now i have PND I need to work on myself to make sure I'm a good mummy for her :yes:.

In the perfect world, I would be a SAHM. Unfortunately, I have to work and I can no longer work and look after DD at the same time.

Remymum

13-03-2009, 10:24

Just read your post and many others and can relate to alot of situations. I had to go back to work when Remy was 8 months(and that was pushing it). He goes to childcare 4 days now(he is 21 months) and same situation, financially we had no choice. It was very hard at first, BUT in saying that he is very lucky and does go to a wonderful place with wonderful people. I would love to stay home with my little one(or maybe just work 2 days), but my husband does not earn alot of money. It would not cover monthly costs at all. Some people do not have a choice so it is quite awful when others judge.
I do believe socially childcare is an excellent thing. I also do not have many friend's with children, so his outlet is childcare. I think Childcare can produce a very well adjusted, social and interesting child. Every day Remy learns something new and unique.

Knocked_for_six

13-03-2009, 10:48

No, I don’t see any need for my children to go to childcare, I provide a stimulating environment at home for my kids- music, crafts, play dates, we visit the library once a week, the park every second day, visit the museum, art gallery (they have a great hands on kids program) and science centre a few times a year also participate in playgroup and various other kids programs. Edward my eldest has just started Prep this year, he has never been to childcare, yet adjusted very well to school, is a smart boy, and a social little butterfly!

Edit to add- We do however have a part time Nanny, which given me an opportunity to spend 1-1 time with each of my children.

tomtom

13-03-2009, 13:35

I voted yes,

I kept an open mind this time around. My older two went because I had to go back to work. With Thomas I think he needed to go, he just loves it.
He goes three days a week and always looks forward to it.
He has learned to interact with kids better as we were having a few probs with sharing and things at mothers group.
I really thought I would be a STHM.
He's happy,so I'm happy.

galyex

01-04-2009, 11:58

for me, yes. i voted. i am too busy. but i still consider taking good care of my kids on my own. spending time with them is the best one. but they also need to be trained ahead of time. mingling other people so that in one way or another they can establish and develop their skills.

Mumma X

02-04-2009, 10:56

I have never wanted to put my children in child care, so hubby and I worked realy hard to get ourselves in the right financial/emotional/spiritual position BEFORE we got pregnant.:)

teenie

02-04-2009, 15:01

I voted no.

But I realise reality may be different!

DS will be 3 in July and we've managed to keep him out of childcare so far. I run my own business, and we have managed to juggle his care around DHs work hours and with some help from (much much appreciated and valued) family. Sometimes it has been a juggling act but worth it.

Our 2nd child is due in 7 weeks. We are unsure of how we are going to manage childcare when I return to work (I will keep running the business from home with others managing the outside stuff for a while but I'll have to go back). It's tough, because I'd really love to just be able to chuck it in for a few years. This is unrealistic (as it's not something you can leave and come back to) but even worse - we would struggle financially after a few years. What then???

SOOOO, after all that ramble, our kids may well end up in childcare, if finances dictate the situation, which in all honesty, makes me sad. Grrr, money...

cmfbaker

09-04-2009, 14:03

I voted yes.
I think it's important being at home for the first year, but as the children grow and become more independent, they CAN go to daycare. This doesn't mean that I think they should, but with a mum like me, mine should :) I love my two boys, but I need to get out of the house to stay sane. When I pick them up, I'm full of energy, I've missed them and I look forward to spending time with them. Even if it's just cooking dinner, I'm happy every second I'm with them. If I was at home all the time they'd have an unsatisfied mum and I don't think they should grow up like that.

MamaLlama

09-04-2009, 19:18

I voted yes!
I don't get the Australian anti-childcare attitude, it is really quite marked compared to the US (not saying they're perfect but the stigma to childcare doesn't exist at least).

Here it seems if you do send them you're considered a monster unless either:

1. you're financially struggling and both have t o work, then you get a pass.

2. you only send them part time.

I make no apology for it, I have no desire whatsoever to spend all day at home with the kids. If I wanted that lifestyle I would have done a degree in the field and worked in childcare in the first place. I greatly enjoy family time with the kids, I do not enjoy being on duty 24/7.

Also I think DS gets pretty bored at home, even with playdates and activities, he gets a lot more learning and stimulation at childcare. I can't imagine doing that for 4 years until he starts prep. The first 6 months or so if you're BFing yeah its probably easier to have them home, at least part time. But after that I look forward t o getting some of my life back and having family time after work/school just like Dad.

No one bags Dads for working when they have young kids. But people don't recognise that Dads get it easy in that respect, and Mums are just as entitled to WANT time away from the kids, yes even every weekday.

My sister is a childcare worker and she works part time and has her DS in part time childcare. Even she feels like she is always "working" since she tries to give her son the same experiences as she does for the kids at the centre. But at least that's her chosen profession and she loves her work. It's not mine.

Just because we love our kids too doesn't mean we have to love long hours with them at every single stage. You might as well bag women for not wanting to be SAHMs when their kids are 15 or 16.... which most people don't! But why is it different? Some people LOVE the older years and hate the baby years. That's not a crime. That doesn't make us bad parents.

I provide the best possible stimulation and environment for my eldest every day of the week. That means childcare 5 days a week and 2 days a week with me and his Dad. Any other way and I would be so depressed and bored that both of us would suffer.

Wildflowerfaith

11-04-2009, 19:54

I voted no.
I feel like a minority too in this category. People often tell me children need the interactivity. My children are very interactive in many other ways apart from childcare, with children and one-on-one with adults (which I believe is very important). I won't lie, it is a hard job staying at home. It does get boring and frustrating at times but for the most part it is extremely gratifying knowing I am raising my children the way I would like them to be raised. My husband is the one who feels like he misses out during the day when he is at work and I am very lucky I have a partner who supports whole-heartedly, having a full-time parent at home (at whetever financial cost). I completed a degree unrelated to childcare and I look forward to one day returning to my chosen career path. At the moment though, that could be 20 years from now and that would be fine. I keep myself busy with sideprojects and I don't feel like I am missing out at all, infact I have rediscovered some of my passions for art, music and cooking whilst teaching my kids. Is anyone else in the same boat?

shell78

15-04-2009, 15:21

I have had DD in child care and am now a SAHM. I have mixed feelings about child care. My work was located next to the center. I witnessed my 6 month old left to cry for an hour one day. Staff stood next to her and no one even looked her way, they just chatted amoungst themselves. She had some good experiences as well though.

I do have an opinion about people who say they have no choice. I made a choice last year. To sell our house with the mortgage that I had to work to pay off and go back to renting. We relocated to a small country town to live the simple life so I could stay home. It wasn't an easy choice but it was a choice. In most cases people do have a choice, it is just about what you see as being the most important. A house or staying home with your babies.

If working is for a social outlet then go for it. Just don't say you didn't have a choice when usually you do.

I am lucky in that I have a career I can return to in 5 years as I am on family leave. That helped me make my choice.

I am not trying to offend, just stating a fact.

shell78

15-04-2009, 15:46

MamaLlama

15-04-2009, 16:03

Just to add to my own message above, I do understand that there are some situations where a parent may have to work (single mums etc.) But if it is just to get a better deal in life financially then that is a choice.

I totally agree it is often a choice. And I think there a ton of good reasons other than money to use childcare. Both for mum and kids.

I can afford to stay home AND have childcare. Just. I wouldn't want to stay home with kids and trust me they are better off with people who like playing with small kids.

Shell you're implying that its bad to do it unless you're FORCED. I totally admit to not being forced into childcare, I ran to it! I don't understand who wouldn't :rolleyes: