Do you want your child to go to childcare?

[bubhub]

Question 1 or a series of questions concerning the lack of childcare places.

[SassyMummy]

I did decide even before I was pregnant (and I wasn't even looking to become a parent at the time), that I did not want my baby in childcare, and that I wanted to be a SAHM. Perhaps having a SAHM for 12 years myself led me to believe that this is the absolute optimum way to raise your child. I've sacrificed financially by doing this... but I do feel that in the long run, it will benefit my daughter.

Now that she is 2, I am considering childcare as a once-a-week event, to give me time to do things I need to do, as well as to enable her to have a break from me too. Considering my partner works such long hours, it's only on his days off that I get a break from her (not after work or before work), and even then, he mostly wants to spend his day resting to catch up on missed sleep.

Having her in childcare one day a week, would mean that I could do things I miss doing (going to the movies - even if only by myself), things I can't do very well with her (shopping for clothing/bras/etc for myself, grocery shopping, running errands, etc), and things I just WANT to do for us as a family (like learning to drive).

So no, I don't really want her in childcare... but I am considering it for 1 day a week.

[Noah_and_Elijah]

No. I wanted to be a SAHM and that's what I am going to be.

I think it's important for children to have their Mothers home with with during the first 5 years of their life.

My children's first childcare experiance is going to be at Kindergarten three days a week at around age four.

[Becs999]

Not quite sure how to respond to the poll. Due to financial reasons I have to go back to work and we have secured full time childcare for DS as of Feb next year. I don't want to put him in full-time but I have no option. It's taken me a good few months to get used to being a SAHM and pretty soon I have to go back to work :(

Ideally both DF and I would work 4 days per week so that DS would only be in child care 3 days per week.

So no, I don't want to put him in childcare especially as he's so young but we have no choice.

[charlis_mum]

Yes. I love being a SAHM, (hence why i took 12months mat leave with DD, and 22 with DS) but as much as i live my children, they cannot stimulate my brain or my social needs in a way that i need to remain sane. So considering I always intended on returning to work, childcare was the best option (family caring fro them is not practical, due to their work commitments & location).

That being said - I never imagined that being a SAHM could fulfill me as much as it has, so going back to work 3days a week has worked out perfectly. DS is 8months now, and i can't imagine having to leave him in 12months time - but there are days where my brain feels so 'blah' and i know that it needs a good work-out.

It is not for everyone - i don't want to bag SAHM, or working parents. However much like our babies, we all have different needs and part of having a happy/healthy family is keeping the parents happy & sane as well as the children.

DD is still in daycare one day a week - giving DS some one-on-one time with me, that she had so much of as the first child. DS won't go until just before i return to work.

[Percy]

I always thought i would stay at home with my DS. Unfortunately i had to put him into care a few days a week due to personal circumstances.

It turned out to be the best thing for him. I have seen a very positive change in him, and now feel very confident about sending him to pre-prep and prep.

[QTB]

i love being a SAHM. but he needed social interaction with other kiddies his age (all my friends kids are way younger than him) and he was falling behind in everything (coping the babies, crawling again, dummy, bottle etc)

now that hes in daycare a few days a week hes going back to the way he was, hes matured sooo much and is a pleasent child to ave around again :D

[Dea]

all mine have been in daycare !!! my youngest dd is 3 in march & goes to family daycare 4 days a week!!! as i work ... but that is what i have to do .. not what i want but its what is needed at this point

[SweetSerenity]

I voted Yes.

I want peter to go more for the social side.

I am planning on sending him one day a week for four hours or a bit less just so he can interract with other children and learn from them.

Once he is toilet trained though he will be going to preschool :)

[4B2L]

I voted No.

I hate childcare, I have worked in childcare, and I simply cannot and will not leave my children with people all day who are just doing their job, and have no actual love for my child. It is really important for me to know thtat my children are always in the care of someone who loves them, and that someone is me. :D

[Manxie]

I voted no. I spent a month in a childcare centre as part of my nursing training in the UK and vowed that no child of mine would ever go into one of those "institutions". Apologies to all those who have their children in childcare. To put it bluntly I was quite shocked by what I saw.

We do lots of different things and DD has plenty of social interaction with other children in a wide range of ages. She has excellent social skills.

I may look at leaving her at occassional care every now and then when she turns three but it will only be for a couple of hours every fortnight. This is at the place where she goes to playgroup and where she will go to kindy.

[jaxcoop]

yes? Jax goes 2 days a week to give me a break and for him to hang out with other kids. And Cooper will probably be going 1 day a week when he is a little older?

Does that mean im not a stay at home mum? I don't understand?

[HaydensMummy]

absolutely no way.

i know it sounds horrible but as an ex childcare worker it is horryfing the way some of the children are treated by staff - the things some parents don't see :mad:

i like to think i did everything in the childs best interest while working,
however i know for a fact children get yelled at , some even hit and the heigene is disgusting.

don't get me wrong some place are great, but its hard to find them when the bad staff hide things from parents.

[4B2L]

i know it sounds horrible but as an ex childcare worker it is horryfing the way some of the children are treated by staff - the things some parents don't see :mad:

.

That is pretty much a big chunk of why I have the opinion I do also.

[HaydensMummy]

That is pretty much a big chunk of why I have the opinion I do also.

i know i have so many stories of things i have seen other staff members do that is just awful and unfortunately reporting it to the director sometimes just doen't work.
and in somecases its the director that does the wrong thing and for some reason the area manager supports them!:mad:

[melbryan]

I vote yes. I have had a loving mother look after my children since i returned to work part time, I am now ready to put my nearly 4 yr old in to pre-school I want him to be ready for school in a couple of years so he will attend 2 days a week. He needs to learn how it will be at school, concentration time, listening to teachers etc so yep I think it is valuable in that way but they only need a mum type or someone who loves them right in the beginning.
All I hear is I'm telling my dad on you he won't be able to say that to his teachers.

[Ffrenchstar]

Nope....for alot of the reasons stated above:)

[cheezelkat]

Yes. But my opinion only came to this after DS turned 18 months - prior I was very anti-childcare.

Since starting, his social skills and confidence are improving, he doesn't need encouragement to eat healthy foods and he gets to experience lots of activities.

I sent him because I am pregnant and was having trouble entertaining him whilst dealing with morning sickness. We have a lovely centre where I can chat to all the staff about his day and they have lots of interaction between age groups.

[Mariposa]

I voted yes. :D

DD1 started going when she was 3. My hours at work increased, and my mum couldnt do the full days, At first it was hard for her, but she soon settled in. It also helped prepare her for preschool.

DD2 started going earlier (16mths) for the same reason as above. Have had no troubles whatsoever with the centre that she is at. In actual fact I can't recommend them highly enough. She has learnt so much from the interaction with other kids at an earlier age aswell.

DD3 is on the waiting list. Next year my hours will be increasing again, but I prefer to send her then (she will be around 19mths) as with when DD2 went (and still is) I can see the benefits, and are wanting them for her also.

For me personally, I love being at home with my kids, but I also love the fact that my work is my me time. As well as the children getting interaction with other kids.

(I could rave on and on, but enough said :D)

[jennababe]

i put yes i want him to go..

although no its not going to happen for a while.

about a month ago now i tried to put him in childcare for 2 days a week. as they said one day would take to long for him to get used to it..

anyway he ended up going for 3 days over 2 weeks and unfortunately it was distressing him to much, and he was getting seperation anxiety although he has never been a very clingy boy.

it just didnt agree with him and affected his mood to much. he would cry everytime i left the room. and i couldnt get him to sleep in his cot for a week he was in my bed.

it ended up taking 2 weeks to get him back to normal.

i wanted him to go so i could have a break plus go back to work. and also i know its good for them to be around other children.

but for now, i have mummy friends with kids, and go to playgroup when i can.

and just wont be able to go back to work for a while. but id rather him be a happy boy in a good routine, rather then a distressed upset boy who clings off me all day just so i could have a break one day a week.

he just wasnt ready, possibly try at age 2 and see how it goes.

[Seekrit]

Well... no... but it's a need so yes... he goes... I don't know how to vote :S

No, I don't want him to go.... but I need to go to work so Yes, I want him to go for that..

Hmmm... I think it's a yes from me really because he COULD be a MILs all the time that I work. :p

[draught]

Tough question - in an ideal world no, but I need to work, so yes.
I don't think they need it for socialising - kindy and playgroup provide that.

[SalTheGal]

Yes....my son already goes to childcare 4days per week.

Even if/when I have another child and I am at home I will hold his place for 1-2days per week as i think he gets great benefit from it.

[mum23girls]

Yes. I have never seen anything wrong with sending a child to childcare.

[subaruforestermum]

I voted YES...not on a full term basis, but now he is olde, he wants child interaction and loves the gym playgroup, but its not very structural!

I have been a working mum, but my hours have been so I can keep him OUT of daycare/childcare, as I wanted to be the one who raised him, not a stranger!

But now, I have been looking for a while, and just found a place that feels right! But hwne we move I think it will be beneficial for him!

[Freya]

In my ideal situation there would be no chance of me ever sending him to child care, but as a single mother there will come a time when I will need to as hard as it is and as much as it saddens me.:( I want to make a good life for him and without a father contributing at all I have to do it all on my own, I will try to hold off from sending him as long as I can but I know it will have to happen eventually.:( I don't want to be on the dole for too much longer.

[JATS]

No

I don't but I am being pressured to (by DH :no:) so I can do more on my photography and take paid clients. DH also thinks it's be good for socializing Tom. I'm resisting as long as possible.:raspberry:

I know very well what happens in some facilities (of course that aren't all like that) and given that Tom may end up being our only child (TTC issues) I want to realx and enjoy his growing up.

[ThisIsLiving]

No. My children are at home with me. I make sure that we do lots of socialising through playgroups, swimming classes, playdates with friends.

DD is off to 4-year-old kindergarten 2.5 days per week next year. My plan is for DS to remain at home with me too until he too commences 4-year-old kindergarten.

We make lots of sacrifices so I can stay at home but honestly we wouldn't have it any other way.

[borntobemummy]

no, for a lot of the reasons others have stated. We are probably going to be homeschooling anyway as well. I have worked at a number of centres too, and after what I have seen, I don't want my children going there. It is true, from what I have seen that they put on a show when parents are around.

[Jeclipse]

No, I don't plan on sending DS to childcare, I have alot of trust issues with who looks after him.

[bigglet]

My DD goes to childcare 2 days a week and thrives very well and I love how the carers teach her a lot and she has a lot of activities to keep her busy.

There are pros and cons of course - one being that her nap time at care only goes for an hour (they don't wake her up but with the noise of the other children she wakes up on her own) so by the time she comes home she is overtired and cranky in a way whereas when she is at home she has 3 hour naps.

In my mums group you can certainly tell the difference between the kids that go to childcare and the ones that don't :p

I am a product of childcare - I was put in care from 9 months old full time which wasn't very common in the late 70's/early 80's - we didn't have the before/after school care either.

I do believe because I was put in care early I am a very independent person - I remember on my first day of school in prep being annoyed at all the other children whining and crying at being separated from their mothers... I just wanted to get on with it!! LOL :D

[zenifa]

Dh and I decided that we would not put DD1 into childcare before she was 2. Although I have done stints of part time work since she was 5mths, she was always in the care of my mum or MIL, which all 3 have enjoyed.
Now I have a new baby (almost 3mths) and DD1 will start 2 days/week at childcare next year, despite me not working. We were offered a place at one of the best centres in our area so we thought it would be good for DD1 and for me, so I can spend some one on one time with DD2, and for DD1's socialisation.
Yes we go on playdates, swimming, library storytime and playgroup, but I think her socialisation will be different when mum/dad aren't there. We've been a few times now for a visit and play and DD1 has enjoyed it, and is learning some good things already.
We thought it may be best to start her before I go back to work, so if she doesn't like it, there is no pressure we can remove her. As its getting closer to her starting, I am feeling a bit apprehensive about it, as I'm not used to leaving her with strangers, so we'll see.

Like Bigglet, I remember going to daycare (late 1970s) and starting school (1980), I agree it made me more social and independent - I didn't cry on my 1st day, I was excited to go and play with the kids!!

However it is a personal choice and I can understand reasons behind both sides. I love being a SAHM to my girls, but can see the benefits of some childcare. Personally I could not contemplate full time child care for my children, and am lucky that $$ we haven't had to do that at this stage.

[Ffrenchstar]

:We are probably going to be homeschooling anyway as well. ance::smiliedance:

[DoubleAce]

No, not for us. My kids don't need it for the socialisation and I don't want them in childcare all day, even if it's just for one day. We're moving to live cheaper to keep the kids out of childcare (one wage and all that). It's just what feels right for us, I don't care what others do!

[rynosmum]

Our DS is in childcare 3 days per week, generally from 9 - 2:30.

It works well for us, he is really opening up with his friends and he's currently learning about the world (comes home saying hello to me in Indian and Chinese etc). He loves it and often asks if I can come and pick him up later because he's having too much fun :confused::laughing:

Feeling comfortable with the centre is paramount. Where he goes, they are like family, I have never had a cause to be concerned about his treatment or discipline. Trust is essential.:yes:

[Angike]

I voted no, I would not put my son in childcare but this is ust for my family - because of my own anxieties.

I don't understand where all of this negativity about childcare comes from. I was in childcare from the age of two and I turned out great and I love my Mother more than anything. She taught me a lot and the time that we spent together was quality - she also showed me the value of a dollar and the value of hard work.

Those who say that 'bad things' happen in childcare have probably worked in some dodgy places. My best friend is a childcare worker and I have been in there with him on a number of occassions and I know that he is completely honest and children are his life. None of the workers there would ever do anything to harm a child.

To those who say it is important for a mother to be home for the first 5 years - important to who? You personally? Some children and adults need more stimulation. It is detrimental to a child to be at home with an unhappy / resentful mother.

[Mummy_Johnno]

Reading everyones comments has been most interesting ..... hence probably the reason for this thread!

DS is in CC 2 @ 1/2 days a week and he loves it NOW but for the first 6 months he hates it! I questioned why i was taking him ( since i am having leave from my work to raise him ) and then i thought ..... why the hell shouldnt i pop him in? :laughing:

People have their personal reasons why they dont send their children and other people just bag out the CC system. Lucas loves the social side of CC, he comes home (trying) to sing songs they learn and being there is enhancing what i am trying to teach him at home eg, sharing and turn taking is a bit hard when there is DS and just me! He needs to be trying stuff out with other children and learning to deal with the consequences of different actions etc .....

He is now very independant and i am more than happy.

Saying that, he doesnt NEED to be there as such, he goes swimming and play dates and Kindergym etc but this is another way for him to socialise and to be honest, it is a great time for ME to do ME stuff without him. ( nothing spoils a lovely pedicure more than a 20 month old yelling ... Mumma yukky boogie! :laughing: )

It is great to hear everyones comments about this ..... keep chatting!!!!!!!! :ecomcity::ecomcity:

[SAMum]

No from me.
My DH and I both work part time so that one of us is always home to look after DS and we both knew from the start that we never ever wanted him in childcare. Just something we both feel strongly about, as someone else mentioned he deserves to be with people who love him, not people who are just "looking after" him.
We are suffering financially because of this, I could easily have a very high paid job with many benefits but all that seems very unimportnant compared to our child (soon to be children!). We have already discussed that if something happened where we could no longer both work the hours that we are that we would rather sell our house and rent for a while or move somewhere cheaper or whatever we had to do to make sure we never have to put our children in child care. In all this I am talking about regular childcare (ie 20+ hours per week) not just a day a fortnight or whatever, that is very different in my opinion. We have only had DS babysat twice in his life for a couple of hours each time. I think we have major trust issues :laughing:

[SorenLorensen]

i did, but then i realized i wanted her to go for the wrong reason's

i wanted her to go because everyone else was doing it and in my area it is "the thing to do"

DP and i have decided that we will put her into preschool next year (maybe)

[4B2L]

To those who say it is important for a mother to be home for the first 5 years - important to who? You personally? Some children and adults need more stimulation. It is detrimental to a child to be at home with an unhappy / resentful mother.

Uh..I don't like the thought of an unhappy mother raising any child. In an ideal situation the mother would be happy. I don't care how out dated my views are, I think it is in the best interest of the child to be at home with his/her mother, that is my view on the matter, and to be quite honest I don't really care what anyone else does with their own kids, I just personally couldn't carry a baby for 9 months and then hand it over to someone else to raise during the day...just me! Like I said, what other people do is their business, but I am still allowed to have the opinion that children are best at home with a loving mother while they are young...yeah I know, how very 1950's of me!:footinmouth:

Oh and just for the record, our family have had really tough times financially while on one income for so long (it will be 13 years by the time DS4 starts school) but my priority is to be at home with them.

[Ashleigh<3]

I used to say No, then I'd say Yes! Then NO~!
Now I'm saying Yes. It's going to be incredibly hard not having the same routine but I know she will benefit and I know I will benefit too.

We decided we'll eventually send her for three week days and she can spend the weekends with her Dad while I work. I don't want to get her too mixed up but atm, she only ever see's her Dad very early in the morning or late in the evening.
Despite his exhaustion after commuting five hours per week day+ working 9 hours, he always over does it by helping me and spending time with our dd.
I just hope we can find a balance.
Time to spend with our dd.
Time to take care of obligations.
Time to sleep! :)

[cheezelz]

I say yes.

Im a SAHM with no forseeable return to the workforce. With no working commitments I am able to stay home with my children everyday, all day but I think that they need interaction with other children with out my supervision. I think this is important so they can grow and become independent. On the other hand tho, if you are a SAHM that has friends with children the same age as yours to interact with there may not be a need to childcare. In my case all my friends bubs are much younger and my DD needs to play with other bubs now.

I also think that she needds interaction with children just as much as I need interaction with adults on my own.

[Susan Mac]

I have no intention of sending any children to childcare. If we choose to not homeschool, I hope to send Jack to kindy/pre-school for a couple of mornings a week before he has to launch into full time school.
I disagree that children need to go to any type of institution such as childcare, preschool or even school for social or educational benefits. I agree that they receive them, but I also believe that there are a thousand other opportunities for such experiences.
I sincerely believe that having at least one parent at home is the best for early childhood development.

[Susan Mac]

I've just read a few more comments, and I do have a question:

A lot of people have mentioned independence, and I'm wondering why this is so important?

To add this to my earlier post, I would think that I could teach independence at home as well.

[ThomasMum]

I always thought i would stay at home with my DS. Unfortunately i had to put him into care a few days a week due to personal circumstances.

It turned out to be the best thing for him. I have seen a very positive change in him, and now feel very confident about sending him to pre-prep and prep.

I like reading stories like these. So wonderful, instead of those negative stuff that child(ren) should be with their mum when they are still young bla bla, excuse me, they need to see other people too you know! :D

Tom goes to childcare 2 days/week since he was around 8 months old (since I dont like asking money from my DH and since the government gave me absolutely nothing so I work p/t and we both love it. Tom especially he never gets any sick, unlike my friends kids who never went to childcare they kept having runny nose! He's confidant and he trully is a happy lil vegemite! :smiliedance:

:xmastree:

[Susan Mac]

I like reading stories like these. So wonderful, instead of those negative stuff that child(ren) should be with their mum when they are still young bla bla, excuse me, they need to see other people too you know! :D




I'm sorry, but what is negative about saying children should be with their mothers???

I did not have a son to have other people look after him. He is my responsibility to raise, and I know that children are very impressionable in their early years. I like to know what is impressing on him.

And I'm wondering, do you think stay at home mothers ONLY stay at home??? My son interacts with other people every time we go grocery shopping, every time we walk down to the corner store to buy the paper, every time see his grandmother and aunties (usually several times a week), every time we meet with friends for a cuppa, every time we go to playgroup, every Sunday at church, every time we have friends over for a bbq, every time he plays with the neighbours kids in the front yard. Hopefully he will soon have siblings to interact with as well.

I don't live in a box, my son doesn't live in a box, and as a mother I have a responsiblity to make sure we are not in a box and become insular people.

[ThomasMum]

Susan, don't worry about it, i'm just posting my opinion, I know you are good mum, hey I too am stay at home mum when am not working so I know that I don't just sit around do nothing...

Why negative? Because its becoming a big issue for some people to in a way to attack those who send their kids to childcare. If you get my drift...

If you don't think that way, then dont worry be happy :)

:xmastree:

[pookiesossige]

No... I love being a SAHM, even though it means watching every cent we spend. Neither child nor I are isolated in anyway- we go to two different playgroups, church (same kids as one playgroup) and a mid-week bible study with same group of kids and they have lots of creative, open and structured play at different venues. I do not breathe down their necks 24/7 but I am there when they experience every fantastic and exciting event- from a sunflower reaching the shed roof to being able to cook together and do other things that I didn't have the energy for when I was a working mum.

My kids are happier with me home with them- and I believe that happy kids = happy mum. Much more so then happy mum = happy kids.

But that's just me- my circumstances allow me to accept being a bit povvo because 1) we don't rent, so even though repayments are 65% of our total income, we don't have to save for a house deposit, and 2) I love a self-sufficient lifestyle.

I have a degree and plan on studying again one day- but I choose not to use my quals right now.

So no childcare for us!!

[Alana13]

When I was pregnant I had planned to put my DS in daycare when he turned 1 and my maternity leave finished (for financial reasons) but now he is 7 months I don't plan on going back to work, I am working on a home business so I don't have to put him in daycare.

Maybe when he is around 3 he could go to daycare for 2 days a week for the social aspect, a friend of mine is a kindergarten teacher and she told me how she notices a massive difference in the kids development for the ones that didn't go to daycare. But I'm guessing if you really worked on it with your kiddie you could keep them up to speed.

I would consider going back to work part time if my mum would look after him, but I would not feel comfortable putting him in daycare even for 2 days till he is older.

Will see when it gets closer!!! :)

[pinkishbunny]

Nope, Not at all...My eldest is in 4 year old kinda again next year (he's 5 in march), I'm a stay at home mum so therefor I prefer my youngest who's 2, Home with me! Until hes old enough for kinda! - i have no intentions of going back to work until my youngest is in Prep.. So a NO for me

[Sarieslittlemen]

No I'm a stay at home mum, so my boys will not go to day care.

[pinkishbunny]

I just personally couldn't carry a baby for 9 months and then hand it over to someone else to raise during the day!:footinmouth:




My thought's exactly!

[MJ410]

Hmm... child care - no. Preschool 1 day a week when he's 3, then 2 days when he's 4 absolutely. I'm very biased, having just finished up working in a child care centre (after 6 months, and 2 years of study towards it before that....) and having loved every moment, and known how much myself and the other girls put into our jobs... but it still doesn't compare! I haven't even got my little bundle out yet, and I'm pretty firm on these decisions - I've had the same intentions since I was little... I was a strange kid to be thinking about what to do with my kids hahaha

[cheezelz]

I'm sorry, but what is negative about saying children should be with their mothers???.


Becuase when mothers have to put their children in childcare for personal reasons they feel guilty. Its like when people say 'breast is best' then mothers feel would rather suffer thru bf than be happy ff and feel guilted.

[Pixie]

Nope hopefully I won't no need to that is why I stay at home. many people aren't lucky that way I am so blessed to be able to for my DD and my next one.

[DoubleAce]

To those who say it is important for a mother to be home for the first 5 years - important to who? You personally? Some children and adults need more stimulation. It is detrimental to a child to be at home with an unhappy / resentful mother.

I'm not negative about childcare...if it works for other families then great but considering the first five years of your child's life is meant to mould who they are as an adult I don't want a childcare worker to have such a big impact on that (I'm pretty sure there have been studies to show this but someone can correct me if I'm wrong).

Of course some people have no choice and so you do what you can, other's believe it is better for their child for various reasons. I personally believe, for my family, that it's best to keep them out of childcare so that's what we're doing.

If my answering the question offends some then that's their own issue to deal with really. I have simply stated what I want for my family. It shouldn't offend.

My SIL had my neice in childcare 50 hours a week from 8 months old. She thinks it was great for her and constantly asks me when I'm putting my girl's in daycare. I constantly tell her I'm not and I'm sure she thinks I'm depriving my girl's of something. It doesn't offend me though, we just parent differently.


ETA -my girls see groups of other kids 5 days a week. They are not socially deprived at all. I just make the effort to socialise them and do it ways so that I can be there too. She's allowed to run and play and be independant but has the security that I am right there if she needs or wants me. I get to share in her joy as well. It amazes me that so many people think daycare is the only way to socialise a child when we have so many great activities available to us these days!

[mumofKieran]

It's interesting reading everyone's answers.

Personally I chose NO, because I do not want my child to go to Daycare. This is for me as much as him :)

I don't want him to be separated from me for more than minimal periods (as in a couple of hours VERY occasionally) until he's at least 3, as I believe the research that says that a human child needs a strong, constant bond with 1 or 2 caregivers during the first 3 years in order to develop emotional security. The studies also show that this bond is more important than education or socialisation in this period.

And for me, it's because I was looking forward to being a mother so much, and I am so aware of how short a time I have with him before he will be grown up, that I want to cherish every minute. I don't want to miss out on enjoying him at all as I know that all-too-soon he will be off to school and then grown up. And this precious time will all be over, and I will have years stretched ahead of me that I can fill with working if I wish.

At the moment I work 2 days a week. This is to pay the mortgage, for which 1 income isn't enough, and because I felt I needed to get back into my field without too much time off, for my own career progression and skills (I am a Veterinarian).

Luckily for us, my husband does shift work and so is almost always off on the 2 days I work. So much so that Kieran has only been to Daycare 5 days in 6 months! This makes it possible for me to go to work 2 days, knowing that 99% of the time he is with his father (which he loves). If he had to go to care every time I worked then I would change things.

In saying that, we will soon be changing things anyway as I WANT to be home with him, and unfortunately for my career, my priorities have changed so much that I don't really enjoy work anyway at the moment.

So you might all see more of me on the Hub :D

[defa]

My DD goes to Day care 1 day a week but next year when i go to work full time she will be going 2 days a week she is goign to be an only child and i think it is inportant for her to be around other kids and have time where she can do other things with out us she love daycare and the cares are all wonderful...

She is a very happy girl and i know that it is the right thing for her.

[Susan Mac]

Susan, don't worry about it, i'm just posting my opinion, I know you are good mum, hey I too am stay at home mum when am not working so I know that I don't just sit around do nothing...

Why negative? Because its becoming a big issue for some people to in a way to attack those who send their kids to childcare. If you get my drift...

If you don't think that way, then dont worry be happy :)

:xmastree:


See, I think on the contrary, is that we are constantly being told the benefits of childcare for learning and social development, we hear constantly about the lack of childcare places, we hear the praise of working mothers, and never a word is said on the value of stay home parents. I'm concerned that as a society we are beginning to see putting your kids in childcare as the norm, and that if you are a 'non-working' mother somehow you aren't quite as good, if you get my drift.

I believe that our society is devaluing stay at home mothers.

I don't wish to offend those who do work and do put their children in childcare, but I feel very strongly about this issue. I'm not saying 'you shouldn't work, you should stay home'. I don't want to tell you want to do, I just want people to see through the media haze that puts working mums on a pedestal.

It's not just the media, either. I did the figures and found that if I worked part time (0.5 load) the government would give me me more benefits than for staying home -and two tax free thresholds in our household income -
as well as being paid superannuation, which I obviously don't get for staying home... and by the time we retire I don't think there will be much by way of pension, so we will have to live on one super.

[Seekrit]

Susan.. when you walk a mile in 'the other shoes' all you hear is about how great SAHMs are, how valued they are, how much childcare damages your child etc.

You need to walk a mile to understand that you normally only listen to the things you don't want to hear.

[SorenLorensen]

Susan.. when you walk a mile in 'the other shoes' all you hear is about how great SAHMs are, how valued they are, how much childcare damages your child etc.

You need to walk a mile to understand that you normally only listen to the things you don't want to hear.

:iagree:
while i have only ever been a SAHM and will be soon a WAHM (after bub is born) i am very close to my sister who does go to work.
she gets asked ALOT why she does not stay at home to look after her children, and its funny how many opinions she gets as to how she 'could' if she wanted to.......

when someone asks me if i work when i say no most of the comments i get back are "oh you are so lucky to be able to do that" or "thats good, my mum stayed at home to raise us, i hope i can do the same" or even (from the old ducks as my nan would say :p) "oh, thats just what i did, you get all these mothers these days working and putting their kids in day care and :ecomcity:"

i actually have come across more negatives for day care then positives...and lord help the mums that put their children in day care when they are SAHM's, they cop even more flack.


IMO a mother or father need to do what they need to do and "WHERE THEY OR THEIR CHILD SHOULD BE" is for them to decide

[JATS]

See, I think on the contrary, is that we are constantly being told the benefits of childcare for learning and social development, we hear constantly about the lack of childcare places, we hear the praise of working mothers, and never a word is said on the value of stay home parents. I'm concerned that as a society we are beginning to see putting your kids in childcare as the norm, and that if you are a 'non-working' mother somehow you aren't quite as good, if you get my drift.

I believe that our society is devaluing stay at home mothers.

I don't wish to offend those who do work and do put their children in childcare, but I feel very strongly about this issue. I'm not saying 'you shouldn't work, you should stay home'. I don't want to tell you want to do, I just want people to see through the media haze that puts working mums on a pedestal.

:iagree:

[Mummaholic]

I agree! Let's all try and remember that we all have different circumstance and there is not one blanket solution for what is 'right' for all children and parents.

This goes for SAHMs, working mums, breast feeding, formula feeding, disposable vs cloth and all parenting techniques!!!

Sometimes the way that people express their opinions can come across as judgemental to others. We all have a great opportunity to express our views on a forum like bubhub, so we should tread carefully and consider others feelings.

Saying that there is no doubt one thing is better can make people feel angry, embarrassed or upset. Saying that it is better for your family and situation is a different thing and should be encouraged, in my view.

RE: Childcare - I am planning on sending my son soon (he is almost 2) for one or two days for socialisation as we don't know a lot of kids his age. He is very active and I feel would benefit from it. I am pregnant as well and could do with a couple hours rest twice a week! I'm not ready to leave him there full time though.

[Seekrit]

Yep Flick, I get asked all the time... "Why are you back at work so soon??" "Are you enjoying the break from your kid?" (NO!!!!!!!! but I have no choice!) "Why can't you stay at home." "I think parents should stay at home until their kids are at least 3... how old is your son again?... oh." "Do you want to stay at home?" "Have you read the latest thing about how dayc are kids have more behavioural issues..." etc. :/

Then the people who say "I would never send my kids to daycare." you'd never hear a working mum say "I would never stay at home with my kids." Never.

[mumofKieran]

Susan.. when you walk a mile in 'the other shoes' all you hear is about how great SAHMs are, how valued they are, how much childcare damages your child etc.

You need to walk a mile to understand that you normally only listen to the things you don't want to hear.

I am sorry to hear that this has been your experience. I can honestly say I have never really had positive or negative comments either way. I only want to do what I want to do and have found most people to be agreeable with the reasons I give them when they ask.

It's sad that this thread seems to be turning into a SAHM vs working mum debate. Every parent makes their decisions for reasons relevant to them. I have been very interested to hear other people's perspectives from both sides and I can personally take things from both arguments.

[mumofKieran]

On the same note, however, it's easy to feel defensive or attacked no matter which side of the fence you're on. I have a very good friend who is TTC at the moment, and she has made it very clear to me on numerous occasions that she will "absolutely not be working at all once they have kids". She firmly believes the mother should be at home with the children until they leave home and that sending them to Daycare is not doing your job etc as a parent. She constantly cites examples to me of other family members whose children spend large amounts of time each week in care just so the parents can work for their mortgage, which in her mind shows skewed priorities. She did not let up on these views even when I announced I was going back to work!! It was obvious what she thought, she may as well have just come out and said it directly to me. I found this hurtful and felt myself trying to defend my position, when really my choices are mine alone and I should not have to defend them to anyone.

[JATS]

Then the people who say "I would never send my kids to daycare." you'd never hear a working mum say "I would never stay at home with my kids." Never.

Actually yes, you do.

I have had that comment from several working mums who think I'm insane for wanting to be a full time SAHM.

As well as comments such as:

In this day and age you HAVE to work, how can you provide your kids with the lifestyle they deserve on one income?

You NEED to put them in childcare so you can have time to yourself, so you don't loose touch with who you are, if you don't you can't be a good mother.

Who wants to spend all their time, 24/7 with with their kids? You'd have to be bonkers.

Yes, those are comments I have received from working mums.

[mumofKieran]

[quote=JATS;2200454]
You NEED to put them in childcare so you can have time to yourself, so you don't loose touch with who you are, if you don't you can't be a good mother.

(/quote)

That's an interesting way of looking at it. I actually feel the opposite - I really lose touch with myself when I am trying to stretch myself too thin, between the demands of my job and being a mother to my son. I find that really hard. I don't believe in the saying 'best of both worlds'.

[Susan Mac]

Yep Flick, I get asked all the time... "Why are you back at work so soon??" "Are you enjoying the break from your kid?" (NO!!!!!!!! but I have no choice!) "Why can't you stay at home." "I think parents should stay at home until their kids are at least 3... how old is your son again?... oh." "Do you want to stay at home?" "Have you read the latest thing about how dayc are kids have more behavioural issues..." etc. :/

Then the people who say "I would never send my kids to daycare." you'd never hear a working mum say "I would never stay at home with my kids." Never.


If I had a dollar for every time I have been asked when I'm going back to work... or the funny looks I get from people when I say that I don't intend on going back to work despite having a university education....

[JATS]

My point was what works for some doesn't necessarily work for others. To say every mother HAS to do this and that and the other or she's a bad mother is just wrong.

Some women might, doesn't mean all women do, different people in different circumstances require different tactics.

[Sarieslittlemen]

Whether you like daycare or not, it's all about respecting each others choices no matter what your choices are.
I passionately dislike day care and won't put my boys into one, I work nights when my DH is home so this is not an issue for us. I also believe that I had my kids I will raise them not put them for someone else to enjoy all those moments, that is my job.
I don't feel the need for 'my time' the very rare occasion that I get out of the house without my boys and I am gone for the absolute minimal time.

But that is not practicle for everyone, if you need to work then you do. There isn't anyway around it. If you feel you need time out for yourself and your child then also too, it's not worth struggling through on your own.
Every situation is different and we all need to respect what ever choices we make. We do the best with what we have right?

[mumofKieran]

My point was what works for some doesn't necessarily work for others. To say every mother HAS to do this and that and the other or she's a bad mother is just wrong.

Some women might, doesn't mean all women do, different people in different circumstances require different tactics.

:iagree: I agree with you totally :yes:

[SorenLorensen]

If I had a dollar for every time I have been asked when I'm going back to work... or the funny looks I get from people when I say that I don't intend on going back to work despite having a university education....

do you see what seekrit and i are saying though ? im not sure you get our point

it goes both ways, we as SAHMs get flack for staying at home and people that work get flack for going to work ?

but if you are one it would be hard to see what it is like for the other, as i said a am lucky and DO get to see it from both sides.

you said
I believe that our society is devaluing stay at home mothers.but the truth is society can make a mother no matter what she is or who she is feel as thought what she is doing is not good enough, it really does not help when we start with the "well i have it harder then you" or "i get put down more" points.

[Susan Mac]

I do get your point. I don't know what it is like to be a working mother, and hope I never do.

In that last post I was trying to say that I am expected to go back to work, that somehow staying home isn't good enough for someone 'like me'.

but this thread was about childcare, so we should probably leave the topic of stay home vs working alone.

I am not really interested in putting jack in childcare for 'me' time, I have other people to look after him if I need a break. but I do think it is important that if you don't have a good support network that you are able to find a way to just have 1/2 an hour to yourself to get a haircut, or a quiet cup of coffee!!!

[stellarella]

No I don't. Quite happy to have him at home. Actually I would cry if he went to daycare. :o Valentine

[4B2L]

No I don't. Quite happy to have him at home. Actually I would cry if he went to daycare. :o Valentine

Simply put, but fits my feelings perfectly too.

[4B2L]

If I had a dollar for every time I have been asked when I'm going back to work... or the funny looks I get from people when I say that I don't intend on going back to work despite having a university education....

One of my best friends is the same.....she put in 5 years at uni, and was 2 years into her career when she dropped everything to have her 3 babies. She was almost 27 when she had the first and is never going back the the career she once loved. She says when the kids are all at school she may get a couple of days at the local supermarket, close by to the kids. She dropped a huge wage, but got an even bigger reward. Oh and she is bl00dy happy. :D

[stellarella]

I've just a bit of a read through the whole thread.
I didn't think this thread would turn into a SAHM v. Working Mum debate.

Anyway...MY opinion (I know you all want to hear it :laughing:) is that it goes both ways depending on which set of circumstances you find yourself in.

If you are a SAHM you often feel very undervalued. God, the number of times I have heard "Oh children need childcare for socialising, he will be a very shy and anti-social child if he doesn't go to daycare"....ermmmmmm, no he wont, he is bloody fine. He is 1 yr old FFS!!

Or "Oh, don't you WORK?"
Me: "Yes I work in the home."
"Oh, but you don't actually have a JOB?"
Idiot!! :mad:

Or my other favorite one. "It makes me a BETTER mother when I can have time to myself either working or free time. There is NO WAY I could give MY child the attention he deserves if I was at home ALL day with him!" (Oh so subtly implying that I must be a lazy fat sod who doesn't do jack squat.) :mad: Well goodo for you but I am appreciative of the fact my son has security in his life. He knows his mummy or daddy will be with him 100% of the time.

Anyway it goes both ways. I know the flak that working mums put up with. I know it would be pretty full on to deal with and yes there are a lot of rude people who will dish out equally snide remarks to working mums.

It's just one of those damned if you do and damned if you don't situations. No one can win. Someone will criticise you for something no matter what.

Lets just acknowledge that the other side faces their own set of unique challenges instead of trying to argue who has it worse.

[draught]

Moderators warning:
This thread is meant to be about whether YOU want YOUR children to go to daycare. Not about SAHM v working mums or any one combination. Try and keep it on track please.

[Angike]

It's just one of those damned if you do and damned if you don't situations. No one can win. Someone will criticise you for something no matter what.

Lets just acknowledge that the other side faces their own set of unique challenges instead of trying to argue who has it worse.

:iagree: We are all in different situations and being a Mum is hard work whether you are in paid employment or not.

My FIL calls me "unemployed" to stir me up! :laughing:

[MummaBear03]

I'm a believer in the SAHM. I never wanted my child in childcare. I successfully stayed home for nearly 2 years then it was at the point of having to work to provide the basics like a house and food. I think where possible it's best to cut back on expenses but at that time we had nothing we could cut back on. No net or even a computer at that stage! Even when i did go back to work it was from 2:30 to 5:30 and i had a family member to look after her. a few months later though that family member left town and 2:30 to 5:30 did not even cover the cost of care, much less allow us to cover our living expenses! The balance I've found is working 3 days a week and doing full days on those days and having full days off without the cost of childcare. She's 4 now and every day I feel bad for having her in daycare even if it isn't full time. She should be at home with me! I had her I should be raising her! but that's just how I feel about parenting. 3 days a week is better than full time but still not good enough for my liking.

[Pices_79]

I voted YES as well!

I do want my DD to go to CC. She goes once a week and loves the interaction she has with other babies at the centre.....She gets alot out of CC.....

DD goes to a fantastic centre where they are always busy doing different activities and learning new things....The carers are amazing!!!

Of course I LOVE my days home with my DD and love spending quality time with her...

I work 3 days per week and she spends two days a week with my mum who she adores then 1 day at CC...

[MummaBear03]

I'm a believer in the SAHM. I never wanted my child in childcare. I successfully stayed home for nearly 2 years then it was at the point of having to work to provide the basics like a house and food. I think where possible it's best to cut back on expenses but at that time we had nothing we could cut back on. No net or even a computer at that stage! Even when i did go back to work it was from 2:30 to 5:30 and i had a family member to look after her. a few months later though that family member left town and 2:30 to 5:30 did not even cover the cost of care, much less allow us to cover our living expenses! The balance I've found is working 3 days a week and doing full days on those days and having full days off without the cost of childcare. She's 4 now and every day I feel bad for having her in daycare even if it isn't full time. She should be at home with me! I had her I should be raising her! but that's just how I feel about parenting. 3 days a week is better than full time but still not good enough for my liking.

I should have said I voted NO I do NOT want my child in childcare, it just happens to be a sad fact of life she has nowhere else to go while I'm working and I have no choice but to work. She had plenty of interaction without the need for childcare through playgoups, ABA meetings and coffee mornings, swimming lessons and a children's music program. All these cost $2 each time except swimming lessons which was $6.50 for her group at that time before she moved up in levels. Plenty of social interaction was going on before she started daycare and although she goes to a fantastic centre with great staff, I'd pull her out in a heartbeat if there was an option to be a SAHM again. But that's just me :)

[NerdyMumma]

No not at all, I am also a big believer in the SAHM, that said I also feel for those of you who have no choice. I am lucky enough to have DF who makes enough that I don't have to work and we can still have all the things we want / need. He works hard for it and knows I also work hard at home.

Maybe if I had an option other than formal CC such as leaving them with a grandparent I might go back to work for one or two days a week when DD is older, but at this stage it's out of the question as DF parents live 300ks away and my parents live on the other side of the country. It's a shame too as MIL doesn't work and would really love to do it.

[Mum2Tyla]

i am a single sahm who works nights my daughter is 2 years old and has been going to day care for 6hrs a week, so she goes for 3hrs twice a week, mostly for socialisation and so I can do the shopping and catch up wityh friends for a cuppa, there are many people that have no option but to put their child in full time day care I am very lucky to have support from my family so i can work nights and be home with my girl during the day.
Kelly

[kristyNluke]

Yes. But my opinion only came to this after DS turned 18 months - prior I was very anti-childcare.

.
i was totally against childcare up until my ds was this age to i waited until he was two to putr him in anyway cause i dont beleive in childcare for children under two as they do not yet no how to interact with other children and need there mum. as it turned out i got a job for those two days and really inproved our financial situation and he totally loves it gets to do stuff he doesnt do at home and has made some friends. i will wait til this baby is two to out it in childcare to as i am going to be a complete stay at home mum after this one is born its wat i have always wanted to be and would love to achieve even if our financial situation goes down a fair bit i think it will be worth it.

[kymmy]

Not really. But I think my youngest may need the social interaction. I have concidered occassional childcare for next year when the big kids are at school.

[luckymama]

nope im going to raise my child

[our little treasures]

nope im going to raise my child

:iagree:
I am with you. I decided to have children so they are MY responsibility. :)

[marymac]

No childcare unless there isn't a family member available. I am a stay at home mum, we have sacrificed one income coming in so one of us can be with the kids. I have heard the whole social interaction argument and I think it is a crock! I take my dd to playgroup, music and other activities for her social interaction opportunities.

[OopsieDaisy]

Nope.

[punkbaby]

Nope happy to have them home their first form of care so to speak will be kinder. DD9 was in care though but i was on my own then

[HannahHopesMummy]

:no::no::no::no::no::no:
I worked in a childcare centre when i got pregnant and what i saw there put me off working in childcare and made me decide NEVER to put my child into child care. Granted... I dont get a lot of time for me but I know what happens in my baby's day and I know she is well cared for.
Tessa

[Owen&Noah's_mum]

yes, once he turns 3 and only for a day or two, depending on how much he enjoys it.

[mini_me]

I voted NO

However as of tomorrow my DD1 starts back (4 days p/w)and DD2 (only 6.5 weeks) starts. I wish to god they didnt have to go - so as the question stands i dont want them in childcare but im studing 4 days a week, fought tooth and nail to get my newborn with me 2 days a week (in class) but still have to attend CC 2 days p/w.

[MummaBear03]

I voted NO

However as of tomorrow my DD1 starts back (4 days p/w)and DD2 (only 6.5 weeks) starts. I wish to god they didnt have to go - so as the question stands i dont want them in childcare but im studing 4 days a week, fought tooth and nail to get my newborn with me 2 days a week (in class) but still have to attend CC 2 days p/w.

:( I know how you feel! I voted NO even though my child does attend. She's there because I have no choice, not because I feel she SHOULD be there, or because I want "me" time or because it's "good for her social development" she's there because I'm working 3 days a week and have no one else to care for her. But she's not there full time which is something I don't think I could handle. Even 4 full days a week at work was too much, I had to cut back to 3 just so I could feel like a mother again. :eek: We are struggling in a big way though so I'm not too sure if I can keep going with 3 days a week. Hopefully so but if not i'll go back to 4 days a week. But like you, I also voted NO to "Wanting" the child in child care.

[Taveon]

DS1 aged 7 and DS2 aged 1 both attended full time day care since they were 5 months old.
Due to financial reasons I had to return to work.

Both of them have thrived and neither of them know any different. DS1 recently told me that he assumed all kids went to day care.

I think it was me who secretly went insane with feelings of guilt, working full time, sending them to day care. I always wanted to be a SAHM but I the extra money makes life a little easier.

[youngones]

No, but it is an unfortunate reality for us. I voted no, but DD does go to a long daycare and this year she'll be attending 4 days. :(

[meshel]

I voted no.
I don't have children yet, but I have also worked in childcare and believe that it is better for the child to stay in a warm loving environment where they will receive the care and attention they need, a lot of the time staff in childcare don't have the time to spend with your child 1 on 1 and they definitely miss out.
In saying that though there are some good quality childcare centers out there so be very picky when placing your child in one

[treightonsmum]

I also voted no but so true that it is a sad reality that we also need to use it.
I have my 2 yr old in daycare 4 days per week from the end of this month due to work pressures. It breaks my heart every time to drop him there. I was the same with my other 2 children, it never gets any easier.

[rowiechb]

Wow how a simple yes/no question turns into a debate huh?

Anyhoo, I always said no never...but now DD is 2 she needs more stimulation and social activity, so she will be going, not full time, just 1-3 days a week, we will play it by ear.

[tlkmelb]

This is an amazing thread to introduce the forums to a person! I just joined up today and got sucked into reading this for the past little while.

I would've said No to childcare. I'm lucky enough on the home front to:
a) have a hubby who works from home in a very flexible career
b) my mum living with us and happy to share the childcaring load
c) have a career that's at a good, succesful stage and a day-to-day schedule that's very flexible.

I know lots of parents who would rather not send their kids to childcare (but have to for financial reasons) and others who find their lives again with bubs off at CC. Everyone's situation is different and socialisation for kids happens in many different ways. :yes:

[Aydinsmummy]

I have a nine month old Son and have already had to go back to work 4 days a week. I hate working and miss my little boy so much, luckily he is with his Nana and not in day care. I would love to be a SAHM but financially couldnt afford it. I feel once they are around two it would be good for them maybe one day a week to go so they could bond with other children and lear to share etc.

[IVFcrazylady]

Being educated in the early childhood field i know it is important for children of all ages to get social activity and stimuation outside of home and with people around their own ages.

Now this doesnt mean just childcare, it can be playgroup, or a play centre, a play date ect.....

I will be sending my child/ren to a day care of some sort quite early on. Maybe just before 2 yrs old. definatly not full time because i dont believe that has any more social benifits than 2 days a week. And a child needs their mum and dad!

:goodvibes:

[MummaBear03]

This is an amazing thread to introduce the forums to a person! I just joined up today and got sucked into reading this for the past little while.

I would've said No to childcare. I'm lucky enough on the home front to:
a) have a hubby who works from home in a very flexible career
b) my mum living with us and happy to share the childcaring load
c) have a career that's at a good, succesful stage and a day-to-day schedule that's very flexible.

I know lots of parents who would rather not send their kids to childcare (but have to for financial reasons) and others who find their lives again with bubs off at CC. Everyone's situation is different and socialisation for kids happens in many different ways. :yes:
Welcome to BubHub! :shakehands:

Wow you do have it good don't you! If I had others around who could watch my DD she wouldn't go to childcare at all. I'm a qualified childcare worker and see what goes on, and although she goes to a great centre I don't believe any childcare centre could give her what I could give her at home. Before I worked though she went to a number of playgroups, swimming lessons, coffee mornings with other friends who have kids, music sessions, meetings and coffee mornings with the wonderful mums at the Australian Breastfeeding Association, and other random visits to friends' houses, as well as quality family time with just the 2 of us at home so she is definately not getting anything out of it that she couldn't get if she wasn't there. If I quit my job next week, I'd pull her out of care. I don't like that she has to go, and like I said it's not the centre as she goes to the highest quality centre I have had the pleasure of being introduced to. It's a very small, local company and 2 of their 5 centres are the best I've ever seen in all my years of childcare, as well as out of all the centres I looked through when returning to work both for me and for my DD. I know it has its place as there are so many people without the extended support, but I for one would love to pull her out and go back to the playgroups and so on. It got to the stage where we couldn't afford to go to those places, and we couldn't afford to live at all, even the basics were a struggle and now working 3 days a week, although we don't have a great deal left over, I've found the balance of making ends meet and still having the majority of the time at home. It's all about finding balance and doing what works.

[CatJ]

If I had a choice then NO, that's why I voted NO. Unfortunately so many of us do not have that choice and we can only do whatever is best for the family as a whole. My 1st went to a childminder at the age of 8 months when I had to take up a part-time job, we were lucky that the childminder was a lovely lady who had over 20 years of experience and was recommended by a neighbour. My son was very happy there and sometimes he didn't want to come home, and I got very jealous. Then we moved close to my parents after our second son was born and my parents were very happy to look after the baby when I started working full-time. But now we're moving again, this time thousands of miles away from everyone so I'll definitely be looking at childcare options.

[mal]

:) i voted yes. both my kids go to day care 2 days a week and they love it. its good for there social skills and sharing.. it also lets me out to earn a couple of dollars:). but it is personal choice, and if you find a environment for your child that you are happy with it makes the experience better..

[tlkmelb]

*g* Yes, MummaBear03, I do indeed have it good. Some folks have asked how I managed to work it all out and I have to tell them quite honestly that it was never a 'plan'. It's a set of circumstances that stemmed from not-so-good events (i.e. partner was made redundant with generous payout, father passed away so mother was living alone). The result is v. good and satisfying for all.

As you say, it's all about finding the balance and it was really interesting to hear your take on childcare centres, being in the industry as you are.

[ProudMummy2008]

Hello my DD goes to childcare 2 days a week!! we only put her in there to help her with her talking and to get around other children her own age and to interact. she has been going for a year now and has learnt so many new things and talks alot better. she is starting to come out of her shell now. :yes:

[karen87]

I voted yes. My DS hasn't started yet, but is starting in a week! He's only going for two days a week from 9am-3pm, just to help him with social skills and learn how to interact with kids his own age. (plus we have number two due in 8 weeks and wanted to give this little one some of the "one on one" attention that DS had full time!)

I am still a SAHM but it gives me a chance to go out and work if I want to. (with the work that I was doing before I got too big with this PG my mum would look after DS.. but I was sometimes working upto 6 days a week and having her look after him that much was turning him into a very naughty little boy, as she never diciplines him and lets him run amock.. she would mind him at my place and I would get home to the house looking like a bomb had hit it.. and a very obnoxious toddler! And I cannot tell my mother anything.. no matter how many times I told her that he NEEDS to be told no sometimes.. she would brush it off and not listen.. very frustrating indeed!)
I am lucky enough that DF earns a good wage so I am able to cut my workload down to a bare minimum.. just working a day or two here and there to keep me sane. So to have him in daycare for those two days puts my mind at ease as I can go out and earn that extra bit of money if I want to and know that he will be cared for in a great environment and also receiving nutritious meals in the time that he is there. Plus he will be learning new skills (not that I dont teach him as much as I can by reading, playing, building blocks, counting and singing, but I am no qualified childcare worker!)

He is very grown up for his age as he mostly is hanging out with our friends and us (DF and I). We used to have a mothers group when all the kids were little, but all the mothers have returned to work full-time and have their kids in daycare aswell.. so it limits the time we get to spend with each other to once every few months.

The daycare I'm sending him to is the one I attended from 16mths old to school age (mum and dad both worked full-time) and loved every minute of it... my mum said within a week of being there I was putting full sentences together and made alot of friends (two of whom I still see on occasion now!)
The director of the centre now (who was just one of the workers back then) remembered my name when I called up to see if I could book DS in. And when we took DS for orientation and to introduce him to staff (he cried when we left... he wanted to stay at "skoo"(school) and play!) she even remembered that I was attatched to a lambswool blanket.. it came everywhere with me up until kindergarten!

I know in some daycares there have been bad reports on what workers do or say to a child when the parents arent there. But in this case, I am so comfortable with sending my DS to this place as it is always immaculate (apart from the mess of toys, etc.. when the kids are playing), in terms of cleanliness. And the staff are so friendly (plus they are always over-staffed).

My views on chlidcare seem to be very different to alot of mums.. But I must admit that this place is the only one that I would be comfortable sending him to right now. If this place didnt exist, I would be trying to find other ways to manage my time, and would probably not be working at all!
I guess it was just lucky that I got to experience this particular place first-hand when I was little (plus I did work experience there in year 10).

As the saying goes.. each to their own.. but I'm making sure that I'm always keeping an open mind as to what any childcare centre has to offer.

[ktsonhunter]

I took 12x months off work to look after my DS but I will be going back to work full-time when he is 8xmonths old. I had the choice to stay at home for the full 12xmonths but chose to go back as I was in for a big pay rise if I did. I do feel extremely guilty for chosing this path, as it now means my DS will be in full-time childcare (we have no family where we live to help out :()
I always said I wanted my child to go to childcare as they experience things there that they can't at home, like sharing and social skills). But giving up those last 4xmonths to spend with him at home full time still plays on my mind and I wonder if I made the right decision... time will tell. I spent hours searching this forum for guidance to make the right decision, so if there's anyone else out there in the same boat, you are not alone!

[CJJHRA]

I didnt vote, because I want both answers LOL even though 4/6 of mine have bee in daycare...

I put my eldest in daycare to learn to be without me and make it easier for when school came.. He was only in for 1 full and one half day when he was 4, made starting school that much easier I believed anyway. He liked it, lovely centre!!! small, and very lovely!!

so, with DS2, I did the same.. but he hated every minute of it!! (was fine when school came, loved school better!)

DS3, never went, and it was VERY hard for him to adapt to school, took ages to settle in. (well pre-primary, not yr1)

The twins... well, heck, being twins. I pretty much HAD to put them in to get a breather, taking them shopping with me was a nightmare. Ok, wasnt bad when they were little, but by about 2 and a half, and they had their own voices and legs... well, I spent more time chasing them about! So off too daycare for them! 2 full days!! funny though, I never got any me time then either.. spent it cleaning and paying bills and that running all over town, They hated daycare... but kinda knew they had to go, and they had each other, never had any trouble getting them to go into daycare, but they would cry every tiem I left, and made me feel bad, but within 10 mins they were fine most of the time... but once at kindy/school... they LOVED kindy, couldnt keep them away, said it was so much better than daycare ever was!

DD, I always meant to put her in, but being my last... I just couldnt.. shes off to school Monday... wahhhhhhh!!! me more nervous than her.

[karawheat]

I voted yes.
I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 6 month old. We had our first child in the UK, I took 1 year maternity leave (I could afford to do it in the UK), just before my leave ended he was offered a job to come here - which we were very happy to take of course

After arriving here I decided to look for part time work, but first I needed to look for child care - after a few months still no child care therefore still no job, then I got a place in child care- which I took.

I started to look for work - in my profession I found out that part timework doesnt exist - so I thought perhaps I'll try looking for full time work. Then I found out I was pregnant again, so I had the dilemma of whether I should look for work, only having to tell them I was going to have to leave as I was pregnant.....so I stopped looking for work and thought I would wait a while longer, but I kept my daughter in care a couple of days a week (she absolutely loves it, she is in a fantastic daycare centre).

Now I have both my children starting fulltime day care soon so I can look for fulltime work. I'm not sure if it will be worth it financially, but after not working for 2 1/2 years I feel I need to claim a bit of my life back - I feel guilty about leaving my 6 month old in fulltime day care - but I've told myself if it all goes pear shaped and the kids suffer I'll stop.

I don't think that whether you choose to leave your child in daycare and return to work or whether you choose to be a sahm makes you a "better" mother or not its quality not quantity.

[MumofIsaac]

My DS has been in childcare since he was 8 months old. It wasn't a decision we took lightly but ultimately, we had no choice. Financially we couldn't sustain our mortgage and living expenses on one wage so I had to go back to work. In saying that, I only work 5 days per fornight. I had no family or friends that I could count on as a permanent solution to care so we made the decision to put him into daycare. When I fell pregnant, I had all these dreams of being a SAHM and the thought of someone else bringing up my child really horrified me. But, since he has been in childcare he has come so far. They offer so many different activities that I would never have thought to do myself. I am happy with our decision and my DS has a ball each time he goes too.

[shuttermum]

I took a big chance and started my own business so that I could be a SAHM for my 2 kids. My youngest started Preps yesterday - we succeeded and I am so happy that we managed it.
But my heart totally goes out to all those parents that would give their right arm to stay at home with their little ones. :hugs:Unfortunately the high cost of living and the huge cost of buying your own home forces many to have no other choice than to work and use childcare facilities. My sister will be one of these mummy's when she gets pregnant.

[lunik27]

my son is 16 months old and i am now considering puting him in childcare once a week mainly for social reasons, he's a very independant little boy and often plays on his own even in the company of other kids, so i guess i want him to make some little friends and have fun away from mum....however it dose seem extremely difficult these days to get your child into childcare, having to go on waiting lists etc..i hate to think what it must be like for full-time working mums!

[MummaBear03]

my son is 16 months old and i am now considering puting him in childcare once a week mainly for social reasons, he's a very independant little boy and often plays on his own even in the company of other kids, so i guess i want him to make some little friends and have fun away from mum....however it dose seem extremely difficult these days to get your child into childcare, having to go on waiting lists etc..i hate to think what it must be like for full-time working mums!
When I was working 5 days a week, I was lucky to have family around. When they left town I had my DD in 3 different centres for a while then decided it was too difficult and went back to 2 days a week casual work. This wasn't enough so when more days came up I started work 4 days a week, but it was still split between 2 centres and I pulled her out of the one she was at 1 day a week and have worked 3 days a week since. It's hard, I couldn't work full-time if I wanted to unless she was in multiple centres which I don't think is good for kids.

[Yummy Mummy of 5]

Yes :yes:

All of my kidlets have started Family Day Care from the age, for two days a week. And we have been more than happy with our choice.

Angela xoxo

[MissPhantom]

In an ideal situation, I would vote YES, from the age of 18 months for one day a week, and then at 2 for two days a week until school, maybe three, as in I would want to start part-time work by then. But I think it depends on the temperament of the child, for some children maybe 2 years would be better.
I put DS into CC at 8 months old:(. For four days a week:(. And he hadn't even left my arms before then other than for five hours at five months of age when I went to my formal. Now, that was wrong, and I regret it to this day, where I missed out on a lot of my little man growing up. But unless you have being in my shoes, I don't think anyone has the right to judge me. I was recovering from a set of very traumatic events which made me need times by myself -- so in a way one of the reasons was that 'me' time, yes. No, I did not have family or a partner, and I had just moved to a part of town I knew nothing of and noone there. I was doing full-time uni and I don't think I would have being fit to work then anyway, I used to not go to lectures and sit there looking at trees for one and a half hours, until you have PTSD I don't think you will understand what I was experiencing when i was finally in a safe situation.
At 1 year I took him out of that extra day and I put him in for three days a week, and often short days at that -- by that time, I had recovered somewhat, but I still had full-time uni, as I really didn't want to live on the pension that poor all my life and I needed to see my life moving somewhere. If you think you're critisised for being a SAHM, try to imagine what people like me must feel when blamed with being 'government bludgers'. It's pathetic.
He goes three days a week now, and miraclulously gets sick and has a doc cert to say so on days I don't need him in daycare IYKWIM;). He really enjoys the days that he's in there, and enjoys the days that he isn't -- I think he is at an age now where he's fine with going for three days -- I'd make it two but I need that third day for uni -- one more year of my degree to go:fingerscrossed:. I don't think anyone has the right to critisise me for trying to drag my family out of poverty. I also don't think anybody would have the right to critisise me for putting my son in childcare to recover so that I could be a fit happy mother when I did spend time with him.
I think we could all do with a little less judging. I think the world would be a better place then. I also think that childcare/no childcare is a very individual choice that depends on the family, finances, the mother, and the sort of temparement the child has.

[BeachBaby3]

Ideally no I would rather stay at home, but financially I have to return to work. DD is now 20 months, and we have just been told we have childcare from the end of March. We had her name down for one centre since I was 4 weeks pregnant!!!

[Waiting4girl]

I votes Yes, but I think it depends on the individual. I am putting my DD (nearly 11 months) in childcare 1 day per week for a few hours so that I can get more work done. I am workning from home 1 day per week and soon will be doing 2 days. I went to the centre last week to check it out and my DD toddled over to the carer and sat on her lap. She is very sociable with almost everybody particulaly other children. She has no older siblings so it is a good way for her to learn she is not the centre of the universe. She may be like me. I was in childcare from about 2 years old and I liked it better than home!

[kiwibird27]

I would LOVE to send DD to daycare for a few hours a week, she loves other children, There are child care spaces available but not at the good quality centres that actually clean the toys and supervise the children!!! My daughter is even eligible for a support worker so one on one care, but the centre's locally are disgusting and I couldn't trust my support worker would actually be kept for my child and not sent of to relieve sick staff.

[PrincessofGod]

no, i dont send my girls to daycare anymore, but they used to go to family daycare twice a week, which my sister in law runs, and they loved it!! and it was great for the interaction with other children too. anyhow, not planning on sending them to daycare in the future, as im a SAHM and love it! i do work atm tho but only at night times on the weekend, so dont need to. emily is at pre-primary atm, will be yr1 next year !! ( growing up fast!) and clare will be at kindy next year.

[deb&diego]

I voted No. I have always felt strongly against childcare and will never leave my children with anyone other than family if I have to, I just dont feel comfortable.
I am a SAHM and like a lot of you we sacrifice financially, but DF and I wouldn't have it any other way. DS has just started playgroup and he will get his socialising from this until he starts 4yr old kinder. This will be exactly the same for bub#2 and I think this is sufficient.
Once they are both at school I will go back to doing some PT work, but for now, they have my full attention, I think this is so important and they are only babies once.

[clairbear]

I voted NO. I have two boys- the 4 and a half year old goes to preschool three days a week and loves it. My two year old stays home with me...loves going to playgroup and hanging out with friends with kids too. This is a great situation for us all as a family, and we're lucky we can do it.
However...
I am not always a happy stay at home mum, sometimes I feel like I am going mad and would love to work a day or two per week to feel sane. I think any full time stay at home mum who doesn't have moments of frustration/loneliness/boredom is a rarity. That said too, I think most working mums have at least occasional moments of feeling overwhelmed by their situations too, as well as enjoying having their own time as a professional and not always Mummy.
However....
Having worked in the child care system in a wide variety of settings for twenty years ( started as an untrained assistant at 19...finished up as an Early Childhood teacher ) has definitely put me off putting my kids in child care (as opposed to preschool).
Yes I have seen some shocking treatment/neglect of small children on several occasions. I have also worked with many wonderful child care workers who put so much of their own time and energy into caring for the young children in their care in a SYSTEM that sucks!
Yep, it's the CHILD CARE SYSTEM in Australia that is failing dismally....ask anyone who works in the profession. Tell me how child care could be of high quality when the ratios of staff to children (imposed by DOCS) are so pathetic!? One adult to five babies, one adult to eight toddlers, one adult to ten preschoolers.....how can the children possibly get all the care, attention, affection, education that they need???
And not only that, it's a miracle if for a whole week all of the permanent carers are actually there with the children- and not doing release time (over the top programming and documentation that the accreditation system demands), having an RDO, annual leave, a sick day, attending an inservice- whilst a relief worker that often doesn't have a clue what's going on is replacing that permanent staff member!
At least in preschool the staff take all their holidays when the children are on holidays, and they do most of the preparation and paperwork when the kids aren't there.
I am not just on the side of stay at home OR working mothers, we all do the best we can.....it's just sad that those who choose/have to put their kids in child care don't have much chance of HIGH QUALITY CARE for their children!
If you have found a really good centre for your child and you and your child are happy with it, don't take it for granted, you are EXTREMELY lucky!!:yes:

[MrsMiggins]

I never really considered putting my kids into child care. I just figured that while there is certainly nothing at all wrong with having your kids in care, I was there, so there really was no need.

I enjoy being a SAHM. I love spending time with my kids, I love learning with them & the challenge of finding new & interesting things to do. I love the fact that becoming a parent really opens up your social scene too!!

On the other hand, being a parent is FAR more full-on than I expected. I never get a chance to get anything done around the house, I have no "me" time whatsoever, and sometimes the demands really get on top of me. Add to this the fact that my DD (especially - although I can see it starting to come out in DS as well, now he's getting older) thrives on social interraction & craves to learn new things in new environments & I have totally done an about-face!

Just the thought of having a day or two a week to get the housework done, uninterrupted, or being able to complete the groceries in under 2 hours (without forgetting half the things on the list because I've spent the whole time trying to separate, quieten, find, scold, feed, amuse..... 2 children while I'm doing it!!) seems like utter bliss!!:cloud9:

I am now kicking myself that I didn't get in earlier & get them on the waiting list at the day care I would really like them to attend!

So my answer is a resounding - YES! :yes:

[MissPhantom]

Yep, it's the CHILD CARE SYSTEM in Australia that is failing dismally....ask anyone who works in the profession. Tell me how child care could be of high quality when the ratios of staff to children (imposed by DOCS) are so pathetic!? One adult to five babies, one adult to eight toddlers, one adult to ten preschoolers.....how can the children possibly get all the care, attention, affection, education they they need???
And not only that, it's a miracle if for a whole week all of the permanent carers are actually there with the children- and not doing release time (over the top programming and documentation that the accreditation system demands), having an RDO, annual leave, a sick day, attending an inservice- whilst a relief worker that often doesn't have a clue what's going on is replacing that permanent staff member!
At least in preschool the staff take all their holidays when the children are on holidays, and they do preparartion and paperwork when the kids aren't there...[...]

If you have found a really good centre for your child and you and your child are happy with it, don't take it for granted, you are EXTREMELY lucky!!:yes:
What you said there hit a really strong note with me. I think the problem is actually with the system, not the teachers. I like my son's teachers, I like the staff at the daycare centre, I can see them working their a**es off for the kids. But I don't like the system at all. I don't understand a system that underpays and overworks people in a proffession that contributes so much to society! (Not mentioning any names here, but I know a few people who work in childcare, and I can really understand why it has such a high turnover rate.) I think a lot of the time the staff are stressed out, and a lot of the parents don't appreciate the work they put in. Although I'm happy with DS daycare, they have security, a huge yard with real grass on it, very low staff turnover:yes:. And I don't take that for granted.

[MummaBear03]

Tell me how child care could be of high quality when the ratios of staff to children (imposed by DOCS) are so pathetic!? One adult to five babies, one adult to eight toddlers, one adult to ten preschoolers.....how can the children possibly get all the care, attention, affection, education that they need???
Ratios are different in QLD
Babies - 1:4
Todds - 1:5
Pre-K - 1:6
Sen K - 1:7 (ours is a 2.5 to 3.5 room)
Preschool - 1:12 (3.5 to school age)
School care - 1:13 (not including Prep children who join the Preschool room)

But the same thing anyway, it's still not good. And there are many times you end up over-ratio in the rooms. Last week I had 14 children aged 3 to 5 on my own, couldn't pass any back as they had a full room, as were the rest of the rooms. When I was GL in the toddler room I would have 10 kids (full room) and my assistant would just disappear for an hour at a time, and no matter how many times I spoke to her and the Director spoke to her, she wouldn't stay put. She ended up saying she wants Nursery or she'll quit, she's sick of the Toddlers so they let her do that but by that time I'd had a breakdown from dealing with 10 toddlers on my own for that time. It's a very stressful job and I know what it's like, which is why I feel so bad for having to put my own child in a centre. She goes the 3 days I'm working and although people have said I should put her in for an extra day to have some "me" time, I really don't feel comfortable with that. She belongs at home with me, not in a daycare centre where the staff are over-worked. Although she is in one of the best where they put on extra regular float staff to spend time in the rooms when needed just to help out with transitioning, putting kids to sleep, cleaning and so on. Regular staff, familiar faces for the kids, but still a high-stress profession no matter how good it is.

[susiehomemaker]

Nope- I never have wanted to put DD in childcare and thankfully we have not had to. We will consider Kindy when she is a little bit older, maybe for 1-2 days a week (short days) just to get her used to being away from home before she goes to school but until then I will keep my little chicken at home with me. My hubby works long hours and works 6 days a week but I have a great support network of friends in our area so it is not as though I am stuck at home with just a child all day every day. DD does go to the gym creche 2 days a week, just for an hour each time & she enjoys it. Breaks up the week a little & she is just as confident and further ahead than most other children her age who go to childcare.

[maiko]

I voted yes, but only for 1/2 a day now and then, definitely not every day or full-time. Not sure how we're going to work that out just yet.

[bAaM]

Yes, BUT not until she is 3-4 years old or so and only for her social benifits not so much for me to get a break. So she can have little friends and the transition to preschool and school and easier on her.


That what i will be doing as well.

[Lollie86]

Ideally not until she starts kinder but it all depends on the money situation at the end of the day and if I need to go back to work.

If I am a SAHM then my DD will also stay at home with me. :)

[campkatie]

Hi I'm new and just thought I'd tell you how I got an income and stayed home with my little girl. I became a Family Day Care mum - I spend every moment of the day with my little one and I make a great income and I don't pay for child care fees. My perfect solution.:yelclap:

[jessikaytesmummy]

only because i need to work.... i love staying at home with her, but now i am by myself, i need to work so we have money. It sucks, but it makes me appreciate the time i do spend with her

[genegeenie]

I voted No, because that is the decision I have just reached this week.

However I agonised as I was offered 2 days a week and my work were being very flexible. I also had a place at a brilliant centre about a minutes walk form my fornt door.

In the end we have sacrificed financially as I believe he is too young (12mths). I looked at a lot of studies and came to the conclusion that 2 -3 short stints (up to 5 or 6 hours) would have been comfortable for me.

However I am shocked at how 'normalised; long day childcare is in out society. We know from lots of research that 5 days a week or long days - even in top quality centres - is not good for under 1's. And yet workplaces are just not flexible enough and Governemnts encourage return to work scenarios. We are geared to spend spend spend and 2 incomes is a must for many to keep up.

I am not laying judgement. I just think we need to consider very carefully the long term impact of 20+ hours a week in childcare on young bubs and tots.

[Susan Mac]

excellent points genegeenie. I agree with you entirely.

[ThomasMum]

I voted No, because that is the decision I have just reached this week.

However I agonised as I was offered 2 days a week and my work were being very flexible. I also had a place at a brilliant centre about a minutes walk form my fornt door.

In the end we have sacrificed financially as I believe he is too young (12mths). I looked at a lot of studies and came to the conclusion that 2 -3 short stints (up to 5 or 6 hours) would have been comfortable for me.

However I am shocked at how 'normalised; long day childcare is in out society. We know from lots of research that 5 days a week or long days - even in top quality centres - is not good for under 1's. And yet workplaces are just not flexible enough and Governemnts encourage return to work scenarios. We are geared to spend spend spend and 2 incomes is a must for many to keep up.

I am not laying judgement. I just think we need to consider very carefully the long term impact of 20+ hours a week in childcare on young bubs and tots.

Hi there, I respect your decision, but pls don't say anything negative when you do not know the facts. Who said that "childcare centres not good under 1"? Which research are you talking about? If its no good, how come it brought such a great impact on my lil man's developments and behaviours?

Remember, it takes two to tango. Don;t blame the childcares solely if your kids behaviour is playing up etc etc. Think about the home environment etc. One of my friends's kid has a very violent behaviour, she has one sibbling and doesnt go to daycare. But I know that my friend fights a lot with her DH.

Whilst my son, an only child, goes to daycare 2 days/week and yet he is healthy and happy and never throws any tantrum. Why is that? Because me and DH involves in our lil man's upbringing...

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say :)

[MummaBear03]

I voted No, because that is the decision I have just reached this week.

However I agonised as I was offered 2 days a week and my work were being very flexible. I also had a place at a brilliant centre about a minutes walk form my fornt door.

In the end we have sacrificed financially as I believe he is too young (12mths). I looked at a lot of studies and came to the conclusion that 2 -3 short stints (up to 5 or 6 hours) would have been comfortable for me.

However I am shocked at how 'normalised; long day childcare is in out society. We know from lots of research that 5 days a week or long days - even in top quality centres - is not good for under 1's. And yet workplaces are just not flexible enough and Governemnts encourage return to work scenarios. We are geared to spend spend spend and 2 incomes is a must for many to keep up.

I am not laying judgement. I just think we need to consider very carefully the long term impact of 20+ hours a week in childcare on young bubs and tots.
I don't believe for one minute that a baby would benefit socially from childcare. I think when they are older, like 3 or 4 they would get some benefit from it. It's mostly the mums who benefit from it under that age, and also from reading this, the majority of kids in daycare are there because the parents had no other options, not because the parents wanted them to be there.

[Jaileth]

Yes, I want my kids to go to day care - ds started there just recently - he goes two part days and loves it.

I wanted him to go to daycare not only because he would cling to me to the point where housework has been impossible, and because he was scared of other kids and I don't want him to be scared of the baby when she arrives. Since being at day care, he has become more confident, more outgoing and is happier to play without me right next to him.

Although daycare may not be for everyone, the positive change in my son makes it worthwhile for me.

[Kizmet]

my children will be going to pre-school once they are toilet trained so im hoping by DD's 3rd birthday she will be in one day a week.

There are a lot of things children need to learn other than book smarts. She will benefit greatly and the transition to kindergarten will be a lot easier when she has been established in a pre school.

My 2 cents worth on childcare is there needs to be more places available and it needs to be somewhat less expensive! If I was to go back to work (which im not planning on for a while) my entire wage and then some would be going into childcare which just isnt logical at all.

[mamavan2]

i'll stay home for the children until the last one is 5 and goes to school. i think it is very important for their development AND social skills. daycare does not make your child social: to many kids, to little supervision. at mothersgroups/playgroups there are enough people around to stear them in the right direction, plus that they have the secerity that 'mum' is allways around. my 2 year old is a confident little girl, and wonderfull to take along as well at other people's houses. as for the reason that you put your child in daycare for your own mental development and stimulation: ridiculious!!!! if you want mental stimilous, be creative, read, watch documentaries, join the right groups where you can take your children along, be involved in society; there are many ways to get your mental stimilous without returning to work AND still take care of your children. i really think it is one of those reasons basically saying i am to smart for being a SAHM. no, you're not, you just lack creativity and flexibility.

[Ffrenchstar]

I agree with you mamavan:)

[Susan Mac]

if you want mental stimilous, be creative, read, watch documentaries, join the right groups where you can take your children along, be involved in society; there are many ways to get your mental stimilous without returning to work AND still take care of your children. i really think it is one of those reasons basically saying i am to smart for being a SAHM. no, you're not, you just lack creativity and flexibility.


I know it's off topic, but I'd just like to vent... I hate it when people expect that I must want to go back to work because I've been to university. Surely an intelligent person doesn't want to waste their opportunity for a career....

(no offense intended if you do want to pursue a career, I would just prefer to be a SAHM rather than a career woman)

Okay, sorry, back on topic.

[ThomasMum]

I know it's off topic, but I'd just like to vent... I hate it when people expect that I must want to go back to work because I've been to university. Surely an intelligent person doesn't want to waste their opportunity for a career....

(no offense intended if you do want to pursue a career, I would just prefer to be a SAHM rather than a career woman)

Okay, sorry, back on topic.

The the intelligent way to deal those people: ignore them! :)

Because no matter what there will always be some negative people around us. People who are negative towards working mothers, people who are negative to full time mums, and the list goes on.

If life's trully good, then just enjoy it :yes:

[paula74]

Hi No childcare for my bubs :no:

I worked in childcare for 10years and the things that i seen would make anyone not put there child in childcare
I have seen a little girl locked in a cuboard cos she was crying, missing her mummy and other thing i just dont like to talk about it
(Im sure there are great centres out there i worked at sum good ones at the start of my career) And just things that made me stop being a child care worker So for me child care is a big no-no

[kristy_lily]

My DD (2) has been going to daycare/creche since she was 4 months old.
I started her at one day per week so I could have a me day and do the groceries and any other shopping (we live 1.5 hours away from the city) without having to put her through such a long day.
Last year I changed it so she goes 2 days a week because she's made friends there and asks to go.
She is also starting a "toddlers" learning program at the local school this year.

A lot of people don't agree with my choice of day care but I have found it's been a good thing in DD's life. She is more confident, outgoing, has more friends and I have also found that they can teach her more than what I could.

[Canuck]

My son has been going to daycare since 7 months - one day a week at first and then full time from 11 months. He absolutely loves it and the socialisation with other children has done him the world of good (and me too!). He is confident and friendly. For us it was the right choice, for others it may not be. I'm, however, glad we opted for childcare. Being around the other children has encouraged him to crawl, then walk and talk. Before daycare he was lagging a little behind in development. He just needed to compete lol.

[4B2L]

I agree with you mamavan:)

and I agree with Frenschstar agreeing with mamavan.

Susan Mac.....One of my best friends left a thriving career, to have children and stay at home with them. SHe gets the same comments especially since she put in 4 years at Uni and at 27 was already at the top of her game. She just enjoys her children so much and when the youngest starts school she will be looking for part-time work at the local supermarket so she can still be there for her kids after school.
As my friend says "It's there loss if they don't get why my children would be more important"

[storm1277]

Nope - I'm extremely keen for my daughter to be raised by her parents and immediate family, though I understand this ideal isn't always going to work. I'm part of a playgroup/mum's group as a result of my antenatal classes, so baby girl gets to do all the socialising stuff there. Kindy will be the go when she's old enough, plus I'd like to get her to have time with her grandparents, play friends etc without me around so she gains confidence in being an independent little girl.

[MummaBear03]

I've noticed that many of those who have said their child will never att