what would u rather?

[HaydensMummy]

my friend asked me this a few weeks back and i thought it was a real interesting question and would love to know peoples thoughts on it.

" if u couldn't breastfeed for some reason, medical or other, would u rather your baby go on formula or would u let someone else breastfeed your baby? "

she asked me cause i might have to go on meds for my polycythemia which i can't breast feed on.
however hopefully i wont need them till bub is at least 1.

just got me bthinking........

what would u do??

for me i think i would have to do formula as u never know what some else may be putting in their body that is bad for your bub.

[Seekrit]

If I had a live-in or live-close lactator who offered to express I'd be happy for that... I don't know that I'd like to watch *my baby* be fed from the breast.. I think I'd feel unbelievably jealous.

Aside from that, if there was a medical reason that I couldn't breastfeed and there was no one nearby that was willing I wouldn't have a problem with formula - that's why it's there :)

[forbetoel]

I would prefer my baby to have breast milk if possible if he was still really young. I have breast fed my sisters baby before while she was in hospital for day surgury.

[the_queen]

I would absolutely use a wet-nurse before using formula.

Interestingly, hayden'smummy, your reason for wanting to use formula is basically the same as mine for wanting to use a wet-nurse :)

[forbetoel]

Oh and I might just add for the sake of it....my sister has also fed my son too. Her DD was not a good feeder, and had a shocking sucking action, so she use my son (who sucked like a dyson) as a sort of 'milk booster' It worked, after only a couple of feeds her supply was up and her daughter even fed better. Might gross some out, but I couldn't care less.:)

[Ana Gram]

I'd pick formula over donated breast milk.

[punkbaby]

I couldnt handle my child feeding from another women as i would feel so upset i couldnt do it and i wouldnt like my child having that special moment with another mother, thats JMO but if they expressed i would be ok with it :)

[shed]

Before I really knew much about it (i.e. before I had a baby or breastfed) I would have probably said to use formula.

But times change and now I would absolutely use a wet nurse if I could and it wouldn't even have to be my sister or best friend, it could be anybody who was healthy and willing.

I wouldn't ask them to express unless they wanted to. I personally loathe expressing so I would completely understand if they would rather just pop bubs onto the breast and be done with it.

And I would be happy and proud to be a wet nurse for someone who wanted the best for their baby as well. Prime grade kiwi stock here, roll up roll up! No drugs, peanuts or dairy in the mix here, no cabbage or chilli either, just pure goodness, get it while its hot!

[HaydensMummy]

. Prime grade kiwi stock here, roll up roll up! No drugs, peanuts or dairy in the mix here, no cabbage or chilli either, just pure goodness, get it while its hot!


lol!

guess thats a whole nother question. who would be willing to feed someone elses child??

[punkbaby]

I would feed someone elses bubs

[GraceUnhearing]

i'd prefer breast milk to formula anyday!

the idea of formula makes me feel sick!

there are milk banks i QLD that you can get breast milk from that has been cleaned and sterlised.

far better for a bub!

[the_queen]

I have fed someone elses bub :yes:

[stellarella]

I would rather use donated BM as a first option. I'd be happy for a nursing mother to express for me and then me give it to Oscar in a bottle. I wouldn't let anyone wet nurse him.

Formula would be the 'if all else fails' option.

ETA: I think I've kinda changed my mind. If they didn't want to express I would let them wet nurse him.....still have to get my head around it though.

I would have no probs nursing someone elses bub.

[Seekrit]

I've offered to feed another hungry bubba.. it was laughed off though :o

[HaydensMummy]

there are milk banks i QLD that you can get breast milk from that has been cleaned and sterlised.

far better for a bub!

wow u learn something new every day!

[sam's mum]

when Belle was in special care she got formula until my milk came in because she was low weight. It wasn't until later that my brain recovered and I started to think about how much I wished that I had known someone I could have rung up to come to the hospital and 'lend' us some milk for her to have.

I would definately take breast milk over formula. for Belle at the time it would have been through the naso gastric tube, but as she was starting to suck I would much rather that it had been from a breast than a bottle.

I would rather all natural breast milk and skin to skin contact over chemicals and artificial milk and rubber any time.

ETA. I have signed up to be a donor for the milk bank, but due to a shortage in funding they can't take on any new donors. :(

[HaydensMummy]

wow i had never heard of these milk banks b4 this thread,
wat a good idea!
i think i would rather bub have milk from there then formula,
at least they would have some type of process to make sure the milk is healthy??

[the_queen]

The process to make sure breastmilk is healthy is called "Nature" :D

If you mean pasteurisation, I think they do that - although I personally would ask every single breastfeeder I knew, before resorting to a milk bank.


Just FYI, the WHO reccomends the following prioritisation in regards to what a baby should drink:

1) Mother's breastmilk from it's mothers breast
2) Mother's breastmilk expressed and fed by cup/bottle
3) Donor's breastmilk, whether from the breast or expressed
4) Formula

[HaydensMummy]

The process to make sure breastmilk is healthy is called "Nature" :D

If you mean pasteurisation, I think they do that - although I personally would ask every single breastfeeder I knew, before resorting to a milk bank.


Just FYI, the WHO reccomends the following prioritisation in regards to what a baby should drink:

1) Mother's breastmilk from it's mothers breast
2) Mother's breastmilk expressed and fed by cup/bottle
3) Donor's breastmilk, whether from the breast or expressed
4) Formula


wat is wrong with the milk bank? i don't know much about it.

[the_queen]

I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with a milk bank - I'm just saying that if it's a choice between a friend's donated milk, and pasteurised milk from a bank, I'd rather have the fresh donated milk :yes:

[the_queen]

Breastmilk is a living substance so pasteurisation may kill of beneficial ingredients - I don't know, and would rather have fresh milk from a friend/acquaintance.

[Fuchsia!]

If I had a live-in or live-close lactator who offered to express I'd be happy for that... I don't know that I'd like to watch *my baby* be fed from the breast.. I think I'd feel unbelievably jealous.

Aside from that, if there was a medical reason that I couldn't breastfeed and there was no one nearby that was willing I wouldn't have a problem with formula - that's why it's there :)

yeah im with this. there is no way i would let someone else feed them! I would be sooo jealous!:( and they would be drug and aclchol tested and would be a non smoker

[SassyMummy]

If I wanted to breastfeed, but couldn't for some reason, I think I'd feel very jealous that some other woman could feed my baby and I couldn't. I think in such a situation, it would be good to use someone else's EBM. If I went on meds or something, I think I'd express like crazy before I went on them, to save as much of my own milk as I could. I might even express during the time I take them, just to keep my supply up for when I go off the meds... (if I was going to, that is).

If I was going out for a while, and wanted to leave my breastfed baby, it would be very helpful if someone close to me could babysit and wet-nurse at the same time... like a sister, or a friend, or something like that.

[ShadyCharacter]

Before I really knew much about it (i.e. before I had a baby or breastfed) I would have probably said to use formula.

But times change and now I would absolutely use a wet nurse if I could and it wouldn't even have to be my sister or best friend, it could be anybody who was healthy and willing.

I wouldn't ask them to express unless they wanted to. I personally loathe expressing so I would completely understand if they would rather just pop bubs onto the breast and be done with it.

And I would be happy and proud to be a wet nurse for someone who wanted the best for their baby as well. Prime grade kiwi stock here, roll up roll up! No drugs, peanuts or dairy in the mix here, no cabbage or chilli either, just pure goodness, get it while its hot!Everything she said. Cept I am not kiwi and I consume dairy ;)

[squiglet]

I would prefer my baby to have breast milk if possible if he was still really young. I have breast fed my sisters baby before while she was in hospital for day surgury.

Wow that is really nice of you, bf you sisters baby.:)


Breastmilk is a living substance so pasteurisation may kill of beneficial ingredients - I don't know, and would rather have fresh milk from a friend/acquaintance.

It has white blood cells and many more things that parsteurisation will kill. Still it's way better for a baby than formula.
I too would rather the baby had fresh milk.

I would definitly want my baby to be fed breast milk. Wet nurses used to be really common. Now it's almost looked on as disgusting. Wich is strange I think.

I too would be upset that I could not feed my own baby, but wanting the best for her I would let her be fed by a wet nurse or from EBM. Although this would be fantasy land for me as finding and paying for a wet nurse would break our bank account.
I don't know how the milk bank works?

Not sure how I would go feeding some one elses baby though. I feel funny even holding another bub:o

[AM]

Definitely breastmilk :)

And I would and have offered breastmilk to other mothers

[Beany]

Dunno.

I would express for another person's baby and would give expressed milk from reputable stock ( :p ) to mine but I don't know if I could breastfeed someone else's child or watch someone else do the same for mine when I was unable to. The former situation is just too alien to me and the latter would be heartbreaking.

[the_queen]

Jennifer, what about EBM? I can understand your point, that breastfeeding is not only about nutrition - but would you accept someone elses EBM for you to feed to your baby? (Just curious, not knocking your opinion :hugs:)

[HaydensMummy]

Happy mother - happy baby :yes: It realy is true.

:hugs:

very good point

[stellarella]

I prefer Happy Baby = Happy Mummy. See my Avatar ;)

If I can give my baby the best then that makes me happy. My bubbies needs come first. My hang ups come after.

[forbetoel]

Thought I would throw my 2 cents in. I think both are true depending on the circumstances. I know I need to be happy to be the best mum I can. I just cant do it well if I am sad, angry or depressed....my kids deserve better than that.

[stellarella]

Yes but in this context it seems more fitting the other way around. Anyway we have had plenty of threads about that issue.

Back to the OP.

I too feel that BFing is equally about the bond as the nutrition but I would still want to put my own 'issues' aside to make sure my bub had what was best. I would feel very selfish otherwise. So that is my reasoning although it would be heartbreaking for me to watch someone else BF my child. Its not about me, its about my baby.

[forbetoel]

Thanks for making me feel worse:gloomy:

I totally understood what you were saying and I agree with you. No good doing something that will have such a negative impact on you. I think that is the whole point, if your decision is the right one to make you happy and feeling better, and is not affecting your baby in a huge negative way then you don't need to worry. A lot of women would feel the same as you, and would not want another women BFing their child.
I personally would have no real problem with it, and if one was available for those first few months then I would use a wet nurse.

[stellarella]

Not my intention just giving my feelings on the matter. I understand the BFing bond between mum and bub as much as anyone.

[SassyMummy]

This thread isn't about you though Jennifer... when people say these things, they're not saying it to make you feel bad or anything... they're saying it because it's what they believe. You, or what you have chosen to do, have no impact on their beliefs about the matter. Don't feel bad - nobody is trying to make you feel bad. :)

Stella - I do agree that it's more likely Happy Baby = Happy Mother and have expressed this in other threads. I'm not sure it's exactly right in this discussion though... I don't know how I'd feel if I saw my baby breastfeeding from another woman when I had not been able to do it myself... I'd probably feel gutted. So while it might make my baby happy, it wouldn't make me happy. Not to say it's Happy Baby = Happy Mother either... more likely, "Breastmilk = Happy, Healthy Baby" than mentioning the mother.

I do agree too, it would be selfish of me to deny my daughter the opportunity to breastfeed from another woman if she couldn't from me... putting my own feelings aside is ideal and probably the right way to go about it... but sometimes I just can't convince myself to do that. I would definitely, without a doubt, feed my daughter EMB from a bottle if I could though if I couldn't BF... I just know my own issues might get in the way of allowing her to BF from another woman.

[HaydensMummy]

mods can u shut this thread down now please??
i got the general idea of peoples views and found out heaps i didn't know which is great.
didn't mean for anyone to get offended tho.......

[luckymama]

Id rather someone else fed my baby, even given EBM from someone else. Breast milk is way better than formula by a mile :D


i'd prefer breast milk to formula anyday!

the idea of formula makes me feel sick!

there are milk banks i QLD that you can get breast milk from that has been cleaned and sterlised.

far better for a bub!

agree totally

[Bron]

The OP has asked that this thread be closed.

Thanks all.