View Full Version : When will he ask???? *Frustrated*
DP and I have been together a while.. Yeah we have our fights but doesnt everyone??
We have both told eachother that theres no one else we would rather spend the rest of our lives with..
I asked him... he said "no"
He says he wants to ask me and that it wouldnt be right if it was the other way around..
But when will he do it?? It frustrating me even though i know we will be together always.. Its annoying knowing it will happen but not knowing when...
hmmm.... hes sitting here now.. and im trying not to let him see what im writing. hehe
cya!
tell him to stop stuffing you around.
Either he wants to marry you or he doesn't.
It's not fair to keep it hanging over your head.
Maybe when you go out, always make a point of stopping to look at rings, and telling him the ones you like.
tell him some different propsal situations you think are really romantic.
Hopefully he gets the hint.
~mia&ryan~
16-12-2007, 13:26
I believe that things happen at the right time.. By putting pressure on him, it probably wont speed things up, just frustruate him.. Give him time tell him you want to marry him and then leave it for a little while..
Personally, I wouldn't push the issue. It can really scare a guy off.
Just keep going with the way things are going, you never know, he may just have a plan up his sleeve for the not too distant future. Pressuring the guy wont help the situation and will cause fights. Seen it happen.
Enjoy your time together and be happy... marriage is a piece of paper, it's how you make the relationship happen and work that counts.
I don't know..
My sis was with her DXP for 5 years.
he kept saying he wanted to marry her, but never asked. He kept saying things like
"I'm going to propose when you don't expect it"
"I want you to finish uni first"
"I'll ask you to marry me in 2 years"
In the end she was just like...
"honestly, stuff you.. if you wanted to marry me, you would have asked."
So they've broken up (but are still very good friends and may or may not get back together) But she was just sick of being stuffed around.
And he was the same... wouldn't let her ask, because he wanted to do it. but didn't.
Besides I say, a little bit of pressure always makes the meat softer. :yes:
FertileMertile
16-12-2007, 16:12
banx - Im in the same boat as you although havent really been together with DP that long (coming up 2 yrs in jan)
Sometimes I get upset coz I thought that when I got pregnant (it was a planned pregnancy) that he would have asked then. Everyone else around us seemed to ask when we were getting married. I think that put pressure on both of us.
But then other times it doesnt worry me bcoz were together and have a great relationship and thats the main thing. It wouldnt change our relationship by getting married however I will love to call him my husband one day.
I think alot of couples get caught up in the pressure to be married coz they have children together or have been together for a long time. Just bcoz thats the socially exceptable thing to do doesnt mean that its right for everyone. Maybe the reason for a high divorce rate?
I mean if it aint broke dont fix it right?
I think that if your contemplating marriage then you should make sure your doing it for the right reasons and if you and your partner dont want the same things in life you have to decide if they are worth you settling for the way things are or if they are not worth it. If you love them with all your heart and that love is reciprocated does it really matter?
I would say don't push the issue too much, but for different reasons to what others have said. I don't want to sound condescending, and honestly, I don't mean it in a "I'm so grown up" kind of way, but you are only 20.
I am 24, and I just don't want to be married this young- I enjoy not being sort of "tied down" to the enth degree. (Can't think of a more suitable way of putting it) My DP was 23 when he got married, and when it broke up he was devestated. He was 26. Honestly, I don't think anyone should be married before they are 30. That's just my opinion, and you can do with it what you will. But when and if I so choose to get married, I will do so knowing that I took my time and choose my partner with the utmost care and... I don't know, reflection?! I don't want to get married because all my friends are doing it, or it's because it's what mum and dad would like, or anyone else. I will do it when I feel it is the right time.
Perhaps your DP has the same kind of view?!
I dunno..
Im not pressuring him. but wen i see a nice ring or dress or whatever i tell him i like it..
I love him more than anythin and he loves me.. and thats all that matters :)
and out pup loves us both and soon hopefully we will have a bub on the way and then we will have our family.
I know marriage is just a bit of paper.. but its always been so special to me.. and i want to share it with him..
one day :)
thanks for your comments girls!
good luck it took three babes and 13 years for my man to come to the party. patience, patience and more patience/ enjoy the journey much more than the destination. and when you need a wedding photographer pm me. xx
This year is a leap year. Maybe ask again. Why did he say no?
Mrs Nifer
04-02-2011, 11:09
DH & I had been together 5 years, I kept hinting and he eventually said to me 'when you stop talking about it, it might happen'. So I dropped it completely and thought about babies instead... anyway we went away for christmas about 11 months later and he totally surprised me by popping the question. :smiliedance:
I'm so glad I stopped with the pressure as it was a total surprise and it was 100% what he wanted to do- he'd designed and bought the ring on lay by- so had been planning it for 4 months at least. Wouldnt change a thing about it.
just relax, stop talking about it, he knows it's what you want, if it's what he wants too, it will happen - some guys dont respond well to pressure! :)
Fruit Tingles
04-02-2011, 11:20
[I'd stop asking and hinting. You may be ready, but he may not be, and by pressuring him it may push him away. Just drop it and let it happen, what's the rush?
Wouldn't you feel better if he proposed because he wanted to, not because of him feeling like he has to?
Sent from my HTC Desire
I really hate it when a man knows their woman realy wants to and they just keep it dragging.
So do I, but just because the woman is ready doesnt mean the man is.
Dont rush him. Let him come to the decision on his own. That way, when it happens, you'll KNOW its because HE wanted to...rather than later down the track wondering if he did it because he was pressured.
This thread is 3 years old, I hope he's asked by now :p
Anyway, I think it's unfair that one person in the relationship has all the say in when there is an engagement and wedding. No wonder so many women are frustrated - we have no say in one of the major events in our own life.
I'm in the same boat :(
Waiting... waiting... waiting...
And, no, it's not "just a piece of paper" to some.
This thread is 3 years old, I hope he's asked by now :p
.
LOL didnt even notice!
pfft what a crack up. Why am I answering someones post from 3 years ago when I did not even know what BUBHUB was. :laughing: how funny shows how alert I am :freakingout:OK I think ill delete my advice:p
pfft what a crack up. Why am I answering someones post from 3 years ago when I did not even know what BUBHUB was. :laughing: how funny shows how alert I am :freakingout:OK I think ill delete my advice:p
Don't do that, I'm sure there's others out there who will find this thread helpful :)
Fruit Tingles
04-02-2011, 11:33
This thread is 3 years old, I hope he's asked by now :p
Anyway, I think it's unfair that one person in the relationship has all the say in when there is an engagement and wedding. No wonder so many women are frustrated - we have no say in one of the major events in our own life.
I'm in the same boat :(
Waiting... waiting... waiting...
And, no, it's not "just a piece of paper" to some.
But we do have a say in it. He asks, you say yes or no. You can ask too, and he can say yes or no. Some men like doing it the traditional way, but that's the way he feels about it, surely that's valid, just as valid as the way you feel about it?
Sent from my HTC Desire
But we do have a say in it. He asks, you say yes or no. You can ask too, and he can say yes or no. Some men like doing it the traditional way, but that's the way he feels about it, surely that's valid, just as valid as the way you feel about it?
I think it should be a discussion between two grown adults rather than one waiting for the other (90% of the time, the man).
Don't do that, I'm sure there's others out there who will find this thread helpful :)
:( I didn't think of that. Oopsy
How long have you been together benji
me & dp are 3 years and a few months.... and i'm still waiting... hinting ever so gently...
so waiting for him & I HATE IT!!
I pressured DF a lot after I found the ring, it actually led to some massive fights. He wanted to be 100% sure before he proposed. Oddly enough, even though I pushed for the engagement and I definitely wanted to be with him, I'd had the engagement ring on for about 30 minutes before I started freaking out lol...it was suddenly like "oh my god, I'm engaged...GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!!!!". Six weeks out from the wedding and I still freak out a little bit sometimes. ;)
~Temet Nosce~
27-02-2011, 07:30
hmm, maybe someone should start a new thread, I know the person who started this and they are definitely not going to be getting married, they separated quite awhile ago.
Oh, that's awkward. I'm sorry to hear that. :(
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