help please

[Kyahli]

:thumbsdown:hi,
Just wanting some help please!!!
I feel like i am loosing my milk!! bub is now nearly 12 weeks old and i think that he is being too unsettled, he is putting on weight slowly, but i just dont think that he isdoing the best... i so dont like him upset, i just dont know what to do....
i am on my own and dont get much support, a friend has look after him and topped him up with formula and he was supposibly really settled.... i still expressed to try and keep it all up, but just feel like i am loosing it-mentally physically and my milk!!
:hair::(:hissy:

[Kiana's Mum]

I started losing milk with my first about around 3 months but was happy to top up with formula then stop altogether.
I only fed for the first couple of days with my second DD. You probably need to speak to a lactation nurse or Breastfeeding association if the others on here are not able to give you any advice.
I am not the best person to comment as I was happy to stop feeding but good luck and I hope someone is able to help.

[Tam-I-Am]

Breastfeeding is such an unknown thing, isn't it - its so hard to know if you're doing the right thing, how much bub is getting, whether your milk is enough etc.

Remember, its really normal for babies to go through growth spurts. During these times, they become quite unsettled and sucky, and want to permafeed, it seems. The reason is because, the more stimulation your breasts get, the more milk they produce. Usually it settles down within a couple of days, but if it doesn't there are things that you can do to help boost your supply - for example, there are herbs, like blessed thistle, and fenugreek (both available from healthfood shops, and fenugreek is now available from a lot of pharmacies), lactation boosting cookies, pumping after a feed, feeding often etc. The more you expose your baby to the breast, even if he's not sucking (ie have skin to skin contact, like take a bath together, or a cuddle without your shirt on etc) - the more your breasts know what it is they're supposed to do in producing milk.

Have you ever heard of a 'nurse-in'? Its basically where you set up camp in bed for a few days, don't do anything except eat, drink lots of water, and feed your baby. Because you're completely relaxed in bed with bub, it can really be very beneficial in boosting your supply.

Its actually no wonder that your bub 'settled' after a formula feed - formula is actually not easy at ALL for babies to digest, so they sort of 'pass out' while their bodies try to process the artificial milk. Its not an uncommon reaction - but it doesn't mean your breast milk isn't enough.

Also, remember, breastfed babies are slower to gain weight than formula fed babies - the WHO put out charts to reflect this, but they unfortunately aren't in common circulation with GPs and ECHNs yet....You can find them on the WHO website though...There are other, better ways to judge if your baby is doing okay on your breast milk though - ie if he's putting on SOME weight on a gradual, but constant basis, if he's have between 6 - 8 wet nappies a day (depending on disposables/cloth etc) and a nice soft poo at least every 10 days or so, if he's nice and active when he's awake, and going to sleep okay most of the time - those are MUCH better indicators of health than being unsettled for a little while.

You've come so far already, and its so frustrating - but hang in there! The hard part is, believe it or not, mostly over! perhaps give the ABA a call (you don't need to be a member to ring their counselling service, and its listed on their website, www.breastfeeding.asn.au) and have a chat to them.

You're doing such a great job :hugs:

[nicoleE]

Hi Nyki
Firstly :hugs:
Now if you are totally against topping up with formula or fully formula feeding then seek all the help you need from lactation consultants and other health professionals to try your hardest to continue to Breastfeed. However you seem quite stressed and at the end of your teather already and Im guessing this process wont be a stress free one so if you are happy to supplament with forumula it may be a less stressful avenue to look further into.

My 8 week old DD has been topped up with formula for around 3 weeks now. although she fed on me every 2 hours for up to an hour she wasnt putting on much weight and was tiring so much trying to get what she needed out of me, plus the constant feeding was getting to me, it was exhausting and i was unable to function normally, it was hard to leave the house (impossible without her) and was very difficult to get the simplest things done around the house. to me personally the formula top ups were a blessing. She is more settled and goes 3 hours between feeds or more if she is asleep (i wake her after 4 hours during the day). I can now go out without her from time to time and have someone look after her and fully FF her (i dont seem to be able to express much but do try to if she will miss more than 1 BF a day so my supply doesnt drop)
HOWEVER I was advised that eventually, probably within a month or two she will most likely start to refuse me and perfer the bottle this is why i stress you have to be prepared to fully FF at some stage if you decide to give top ups. So far bubs has not shown signs of this for me, infact lately she is very much prefering me and im starting to wonder if she is getting more out of me these days so im hoping that continues.
Sorry for all the :ecomcity: i just wanted to give another side of it to you.
I can tell from your post you are most upset which is understandable, the affect on you physically and mentally is overwhelming sometimes isnt it. i just want to stress that although breast milk may be 'best'.. sometimes what is really best for baby AND mother is not breastfeeding or fully breastfeeding.
In the end take in what everyone is suggesing and decide for yourself... you do what you feel is right for you both and just know that it WILL get better whatever path you choose.:hugs:

[Kyahli]

THANKS ALL FOR YOUR HELP.
I feel guilty about topping up with formula, but otherwise i am going to bee overly stressed and probably will loose me milk....
have been trying EVERYTHING!!!!!

[punkbaby]

Get in touch with the ABA i think, i agree with tam there too :)

Also you can feel like you dont have milk, i know i dont feel that let down anymore now i feel empty and bubs only drinks for about ten minutes but shes happy and content and shes wet so i know shes getting heaps. Mind you i hear her gulping so i know shes swallowing something :)

I had a chat to my health nurse the other day and she was quiet supportive of the fact that BF dont gain as much weight as FF she said she has two ladies who come in and their children (they are 3rd babies for the mothers) are gaining about 60% of the recomended weight gain, she said as she sees happy babies who are content and alert etc she knows they are doing ok, although she did say 5 years ago she would have recommended top ups :)