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polony
06-03-2006, 23:42
I love my mum to pieces and I respect her completely. Without her I would not be able to survive being a single mum and study. Truly.

But lately it feels like she is always nit-picking at my mothering and that nothing I ever do is "right". She told me today that she thinks I am a fantastic mother 98% of the time BUT that 2% is me not thinking of DD, but of myself. She told me that I need to take more care of my daughter..!!

Lately DD has been getting more tired towards bedtime and gets grumpy. I have a feeling it is because she goes to day care and they exhaust her, plus she is teething, plus the weather is really hot and most people feel like sleeping when it is so hot. My mum seems to think that there is something wrong and that I must be the cause. She seems to think I "make" my DD stay up past the time she wants to sleep, but I don't.

I feel like I shouldn't complain about her telling me what to do. As the saying goes, mother knows best. The thing is, I am a mother now. It is my daughter. I really, really do appreciate her help, but sometimes I feel it is too intrusive and too much like an order rather than advice.

How do I stop her from making me feel like this without sounding ungrateful?

I honestly think I am doing the best job I can, but feel like it just isn't good enough. It's almost as if my mum thinks that she loves my DD more than I do. She always says she would do anything for my daughter, and implies that I don't. I am crying.

I need some help or advice please?! :confused:

reAllytee
07-03-2006, 00:09
I really havent got any great advice but my hat goes off to you being a mum & studying !
But i do think one of these is in order :hugs:
Have you tried speaking with her about it ? Maybe its just crossed wires ?
Im sure its only just your mum being worried about you as much as about your DD.
That being said you do have to stand your ground a little as you said your the mum now & you know your DD better than anyone even grandma !
I think talking about it is your best bet but just dont go in attacking rather starting out with " I know you only want the best but i feel like xxx " I hope you understand what i mean :o
Good luck :)

LilShenanigans
07-03-2006, 00:25
Yep, the convo is needed... I think majority of grandmothers feel the same, whether they have the 'guts' to say anything is another matter lol

Even my dad today was telling me my daughter desperately needs a routine bla bla bla... silly old man. He means well but circumstances at the moment are making poor DD unsettled ... unfortunately was too tired and told him to bugger off :p lol

Oh, so maybe start that conversation when your wide awake and not stressed out! :o

Mamaduke
07-03-2006, 01:34
I've just been looking at Layla's website...she is absolutely gorgeous!
Gee, I wonder where she got those big blue eyes from?:rolleyes:
Anyway, back to the topic...
I'm sure (and by looking at the photos, your mum is one proud nan) that she only wants what's best for her little granddaughter, and that, unfortunately, can come at the expense of your relationship.
You mentioned...

I honestly think I am doing the best job I can,
tell her this, and also tell her that

I love my mum to pieces and I respect her completely. Without her I would not be able to survive being a single mum and study. Truly.
Ask her to help you because you are going to make mistakes (just like I'm sure she did) and that you need support and guidance...and sometimes it doesn't come across that way.
My mum (although does not interfere too much) absolutely adores our boys and would do anything for them...we have my mum and dad living on the same property as us so I know what it's like to have a mum there for every move you make, but try and keep this in mind...she does love your little girl, and it's only this love that is making her forget the way things are coming across at times.
BTW....I'm sure she loves you too, and she would feel terrible that you're crying over this!
Good luck...:hugs:

MumsieMel
07-03-2006, 06:36
POLONY
i agree with all that mamaduke said. Im sure your mum means well, good luck sorting it out :hugs:

MAMADUKE
Thats the nicest thing i think you've said to anyone on BubHub :hugs: :thumbsup:

Mamaduke
09-03-2006, 19:39
MAMADUKE
Thats the nicest thing i think you've said to anyone on BubHub :hugs: :thumbsup:

No...I'm pretty sure I've been nice on at least several occasions!!:p