help please! She only poos in nappies

[tiredmum]

I am desperately seeking advice regarding my four year old daughter!
She has been in undies for well over twelve months and will go to the toilet and wee by herself. No 2's are a no no... she brings us a nappy and says "I need to do a poo". Both my husband and I have tried EVERYTHING, colourful charts, lollies, promises of visits to the park and so on and so on. She screams the house down if we suggest the toilet for no 2. I dont know what else to do... can someone please offer me some advice.

[MissBrightside]

No offence but I think you just have to be firm witrh her. No bribes or anything like that and dont buy anymore nappies. Get rid of them so she has no choice but to use the toilet. Then if she does use the toilet for no. 2's then give her lots of praise for being a good girl.

[tiredmum]

Thanks for your advice. I have hidden the nappies, told her we dont have any... I have tried it all. I am at my wits end..

[*~*~jem~*~*]

Hi,
I wish I was here to offer you some advice but this thread sounds almost exactly like one I have been meaning to post for weeks. My 3 1/2 year old son is exactly the same. I am at the stage where I am considering taking him to see a peadiatrician to see if there is anything wrong with his bowel. Lately I have managed to get him to sit on the toilet a few times (and squat and stand) but he says he just can't go on the toilet (he is trained to do wee in the toilet and has been for a long time). When he does go in his nappy, he hides in his bedroom with the door shut and squats right down holding on to his bed which is why I am thinking maybe I should get him checked. We have tried increasing his fibre and bribing him but nothing seems to work. It ends up distressing the whole family. Please let me know if you find a solution and best of luck:fingerscrossed: with it as I know how frustrating it is:banghead:

[Sandra/Paul]

Hi there, my sister went through the same thing just recently with her little girl. I know she used the potty and she would only do wee's on the potty and had to have a nappy on for poo's. She would hold on for so long that she would get a bit constipated and then she would scream when it come out (in the nappy). Then one day she just started going doing wee's on the toilet and poo's on the potty. I think she does both on the toilet now. Ive heard of a lot of people having this problem poo's is always the hardest to toilet train with. I think she will eventually go on the toilet but for now I would let her use the nappy and maybe find books in the library or something that she can read about toilet training. There was one book I remember "I can go potty" I think it was called.

I hope that helps, the best thing is to not fight with her over it as it will make her more determined to use the nappy.

Good luck.

[*~*~jem~*~*]

Sorry nicandbensmum I tried this with my son and have sat for hours on end with him sitting on the toilet crying - yes on one occasion until 11pm at night and he was half asleep and I was at my wits end. It just caused him to become constipated each time and not go to the toilet for no 2's for days which caused us a great deal of grief. It might work for some but unfortunately for us it didn't:(

[Maghan]

Hi Gals

Just some support. My 5 year old son only recently started pooing on the toilet. It just came down to when he was ready. I didn't want him to get sick with constipation, so I opted for the nappies. For years we tried bribes/rewards, but to no avail.

This is such a common thing, don't stress.

[MissBrightside]

Well there goes any advise from me.:confused: I suppose I havnt really had to deal with thisas my 3 yo just did it. I didnt realise that it was such a common problem. Sorry if I caused any annoyance. (Im not being sarcastic by the way, no harm intended)

[*~*~jem~*~*]

Sorry tiredmum for taking over your thread, but I just wanted to day thanks to Maghan, you've definately made me feel better and I wont be rushing my son off to the paediatrician just yet.

[Cupcake]

I have toilet trained a lot of children(nanny for 11yrs)& this is a very common thing,the thing I came to realise was that the feeling of the poo dropping out(:laughing: nice)into the potty or toilet is what they are frightened of(in a nappy it just squeezes out and spreads,if ya know what i mean) i guess for some reason they feel that there bottom is breaking and falling off(sorry but explaining the best i can)anyway I have approached this fear with the child and it seemed to work.
Hope I have made sense:fingerscrossed:

[*~*~jem~*~*]

Well there goes any advise from me. I suppose I havnt really had to deal with thisas my 3 yo just did it. I didnt realise that it was such a common problem. Sorry if I caused any annoyance. (Im not being sarcastic by the way, no harm intended)

I totally understand why you gave the advice you did - I would probably think the same way if I wasn't going through it as well - no harm caused to me at all.

I will definately try your idea lillasmummy.

Once again tiredmum I am so sorry to have taken over your thread and thank you so much for having the courage to write what I couldn't!

[Maghan]

Well there goes any advise from me.:confused: I suppose I havnt really had to deal with thisas my 3 yo just did it. I didnt realise that it was such a common problem. Sorry if I caused any annoyance. (Im not being sarcastic by the way, no harm intended)

Nicandbensmum. We didn't realise it was common until we went to the paedatrician either. Our DD, just did it by herself when she had just turned 2! You haven't caused annoyance, don't worry. It's just one of those hard things that some kids have happen to them!

[Maghan]

Sorry tiredmum for taking over your thread, but I just wanted to day thanks to Maghan, you've definately made me feel better and I wont be rushing my son off to the paediatrician just yet.

That's ok, nice to know sometimes that you are not the only one!

[Darren]

I'm watching this thread with interest. I posted an almost identical one about our son several months ago and nothing has changed with him despite us trying many different techniques. Please post a follow up if you have success.

[Maghan]

I'm watching this thread with interest. I posted an almost identical one about our son several months ago and nothing has changed with him despite us trying many different techniques. Please post a follow up if you have success.

Darren I think I originally posted on that one too. I was so despondent when I saw other people making progress and not me. Rylan does poo in the toilet now, but it's still a secret squirel thing, he locks the door, no-one's allowed in, he refuses to do it at pre-school (and so would I, I don't want to poo with everyone in the same room) and still asks for me to buy nappies.

The best thing is that I don't have to wipe that big 5 year old bum anymore, god I hated that.

[bronny-jane]

ok this might work but its not for the faint hearted:D

my dd's always follow me into the toilet, so when i started training dd 1, i would play a game about doing a poo in the toilet, kinda like "whats this sound".

at first she'd sit on it and just say plop plop:laughing: , but after a while she got it.

its a fun way to make it seem totaly normal, but dd really started after her cousin did a poo in the toilet and forgot to flush and dd saw it, then realised her cousin did it too. she's been using the toilet for about 3 months and still sometimes does a poo on the floor, but most of the time she's good.

good luck with it all hope it works out soon, i know how stressful it can be sometimes:thumbsup:

[*~*~jem~*~*]

Thank you so much lillasmummy.
I didn't want to post a thread too soon in case I jinxed myself, but after reading lillasmummy's thread I had a talk to my son the following day. That afternoon he was sitting on the toilet and my DP asked him why he was sitting on the toilet and he said quite frankly "I'm doing poo". We let him go and sure enough he did. When he had finished he wanted the whole world to come and see his achievements and he has not stopped going since, so it has been about 17 days now and he has been on the toilet religiously - no more nappies YAY!:smiliedance:

Best of luck to everyone else who is going through this. I totally understand what it can do to you and your family it is so frustrating.