View Full Version : Not my baby but concerned about his development
I am really worried about one of the Bubs in my Mothers' Group. He is 8 months old and cannot push up on his arms from his stomach, he isnt moving, he doesnt respond when you speak to him, he doesnt smile. :confused:
This baby does nothing expect lay on his back all the time and grizzle. I know it isnt nice to compare the babies but he is the oldest in our group and doing the least.
My DS is 7 months ( a whole month younger) and he is starting to stand, he crawls, says Mamama, dadada, nanana,bubub and he smiles and squeals all the time.
I dont want to say anything to his Mother but I am starting to get really worried about him. :(
What should I do?? Am I right to be concerned or should I just mind my own business?? :o
This is a really sensitive one. As we all agonise over our child's milestones, this Mum would as well. She is probably petrified about her child's progress but is hoping it is going to improve.
There is a little bub that is very similar at my DS's daycare - although this bub is now almost 2. We also have friends with a little one who isn't progressing as you would expect. Drs for both say that they can't accurately diagnose the problem until the child is quite a bit older (about 3).
Be there for her, appreciate her child as she does and let them be. I'm sure she will appreciate your calmness about the situation. I'm sure enough people (family and strangers) are telling her enough, people love to be involved.
Im with ry's mumma, your obviously a caring person but you really cant do anything about your concerns.
Unless that is this mum asks you for advice OR unless you are like super best friends:D
I think that when people have a child thats doing things early - like your child - then its easy to look at others and think - whats wrong.
I don't mean this in a harsh way but 7 months is early for crawling and standing.
Is the child doing anything. Can he roll. Is he a smiley baby around people he knows? Does he eat well? All these things can be asked.
Here is a great example for you. A friends baby was born not breathing and without a heartbeat. They revived him but doctors weren't sure if there would be brain damage. At 9 months they were worried. There boy had never smiled, couldn't sit or crawl. He could roll over though. There were positive that he must have been brain damaged. At around 12 months he started smiling. He is now 18 months and running talking and laughin non stop - no brain damage.
Some babies are just lazy or slow.
I hope that this is the case for this baby. I wouldn't stress too much yet. She will accept that there is a problem (if there is) when she is ready.
Do you only see her at your mothers group? Maybe he just grizzles because he is tired, or just not into the "social scene"...???
If this behaviour continues at home as well, then there must be some reason he's not doing things. Some babies are just more serious than others...and don't smile because of it. Perhaps he has the ability to smile, but chooses not to. But not being able to push up on his arms, at 8 months, would be of concern to me if I were his mother. By 8 months, he should be rolling every which way and making all sorts of noises. Maybe crawling, maybe not...but definately trying to move around and wreak havoc.
Was he a premmie bub? If he were, maybe that's the problem...?
Perhaps the mother is fully aware of the problem, but chooses not to mention it as she feels disappointed/embarrassed about the fact that her bub is behind. Maybe he even has a problem, or an illness, that she just doesn't want to share because she feels guilty or something.
I dunno if you could say anything to her - she might take it as an attack, or as you treating her as if she has a "stupid" child. I would. Mothers get very defensive about their parenting skills and the developments and intelligence of their children. Perhaps you could arrange to all see a CHN at one of your mothers groups...maybe then she could talk to the Mum...???
Tash never rolled till about 7 months and she never vocallised much except to grizzle or cry. She hated tummy time and would perform for the whole time she was on her belly then at about 91/2 months she crawled. She didnt do any of the rocking or preparation she basically just upped and crawled. She didnt try and pull her self up on furniture and cruise but bu 12 months she was walking. So basically what I'm trying to say is that all could be well and no doubt the mother is watching what other babies are doing and will be worrying enough. I know that wont help you and you will still probably do you share of worrying for her but I think some are just different:) .
Hmmmmm, this is a very sensitive issue, especially to the mother concerned as she just may not appreciate anyone stepping up to her and saying that there's a problem.
Maybe the way to tackle this would be to ask how she is, check on her well-being, is she doing ok with having a baby - is she a SAHM. It could simply mean that this is the way she's been taught to parent, just let the baby do his/her own thing and not push the issue. Having witnessed a similar parenting style, I tend to think that it's just the way some parents prefer to raise their child - however alarming and out-of-sorts it may look to parents who are very, very hands-on with their bubs.
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