View Full Version : Who do you complain too if you are told off for BF?
punkbaby
05-12-2007, 22:29
Simple question really i have been stewing over this for a few days now and think i need to do something just not sure who i complain too .
I was in a shopping centre sitting on a seat (the ones in the middle not the food court of anything, not that it would have bothered me) with the kids feeding dd and a guy from a well known shop walked past and said "put it away this is a shopping centre not a bloody brothel people eat here!"
Not really sure what he meant by that comment as i was well covered the only way you would have seen something is if you were looking over my shoulder and down. I had a blanket over so yes it was obvious i was feeding but nothing was shown at all. I told him to get F*** and to get a life she was hungry if he can eat here so can she. Its eating at me, i only realise tonite how much it upset me and think i wanna report him :(
Chicco25
05-12-2007, 22:36
OMG that is bloody awful, :hugs: to you. I would definately be reporting him to Centre Management. He has no right to speak to you like that :shame:, I would be pushing for him to get the sack!!!!
wow, I cant believe the gall of some people :mad:
mum2littleman
05-12-2007, 22:36
i would ring the manager of the store he works in yes he may not have said it in that shop but he is wearing there uniform and Representing a company {not sure of the shop} but for eg: ...... is a family shop and should be able to treat people and familys with a little respect do u happen to know his name or age and what he looked like?
punkbaby
05-12-2007, 22:40
I know him his the manager of a store there as i bought something off him about 3 weeks ago. He had manager on his badge. I didnt have the galls to say anything else back but i balled my eyes out in the car, when he told me off i finsihed feeding dd and went to the car to go home, ds gave me a cuddle and said he was sorry he was naughty earlier and he didnt mean to make me cry :( he thinks he made me cry poor kid
SammieSnail
05-12-2007, 22:45
:( what a sweet little boy you have.
As for that guy, find-out who his superior is and report him. A handwritten letter to Centre management might be good too.
:hugs: Noone has the right to treat you like that.
Lil X-men
05-12-2007, 22:50
OMG!!! I am in shock I really can't believe people still say such horrible things in public to others, I am so sorry for what you had to endure :hugs::hugs::hugs: What frickin @**** hole, I am fuming I wish I lived near you I would go down there myself and give him and earful and then proceed to bf my DS right there just to p!ss him off!!
How dare he relate to bfing to prostitution that has got to be the lowest insult possible. You must complain about this PB, these kind of people need to be dealt with!!
I feel so lucky to have never had an rude comments while bfing in public yet :fingerscrossed:
that is discusting what an arogent uninformed piece of S**t
i really think you should complain both to cenre management and his boss thats discusting
punkbaby
05-12-2007, 22:58
Thanks i will put something in writing i wish i had freinds down here i would get all bf mummies to sit in his shop and feed their bubs just to p!ss him off. I will try write something tonite dont know if it will have any effect though
cmd'smum
05-12-2007, 22:59
OMG!!! I am in shock I really can't believe people still say such horrible things in public to others, I am so sorry for what you had to endure :hugs:What frickin @**** hole, I am fuming I wish I lived near you I would go down there myself and give him and earful and then proceed to bf my DS right there just to p!ss him off!!
How dare he relate to bfing to prostitution that has got to be the lowest insult possible. You must complain about this PB, these kind of people need to be dealt with!!
I feel so lucky to have never had an rude comments while bfing in public yet :fingerscrossed:
Oh, :iagree: I'm just waiting for someone to say something to me and I'm going to let rip!:geek:
What a neanderthal !! (oops hang on, bf would've been very normal for neanderthal's, anyway I'd def report him and threaten to press charges for "verbal assault":devil6: because that's what it was!!
Keep us posted!:hugs:
Thanks i will put something in writing i wish i had freinds down here i would get all bf mummies to sit in his shop and feed their bubs just to p!ss him off. I will try write something tonite dont know if it will have any effect though
hey that gives me an idea lol (even though i not a bf mum so nothing to do with me) you should set up a thread for BF mums in your area and plan to do a feedathon right infront of his **** or beter still folow him around lol
stupid man
declansmum
05-12-2007, 23:11
Wow!!!! How dare he.... I would get in touch with the district manager of the store. Gee that was uncalled for.. I would of told him to get F****D:raspberry:
KiahsMum
05-12-2007, 23:17
Another idea maybe you can mention to your local ABA chapter? They may take it up with his bosses if there is higher management. I can sympathise sort of. I was on the train one day bottlefeeding DD and I had someone come up and have a huge go cause I wasn't breastfeeding, I burst into tears as soon as I got off the train, some people just don't think before they open their stoopid mouths.
*HUGE HUGS*
mummylovesyou
05-12-2007, 23:27
You poor thing - here are some :hugs::hugs::hugs: for you. I know exactly where you are coming from but mine wasnt in a shopping centre but in a family resturant almost 5 yrs ago now. My DH and myself went out for tea with our twins and they were due a feed while we were there, so I got out my BF pillow, attached the twinnies on and began feeding, I was covered up and that but a couple 2 tables down from ours complained to store management that this was a place to eat, not a place to parade myself!!! The management came and told us and my DH let rip:devil: He said to this couple I had a right to feed our babies where ever we liked and if they didnt like it, they could f*#k off!! I was so distraught at the time, so if I were you, I would definalty put a complaint in, just remember, you can feed your baby anywhere and I am pretty sure by law, people cant ask you to leave or stop.
Good luck and let us know how you get on..
GraceUnhearing
05-12-2007, 23:48
thats terrible belle
:hugs::hugs:
here in NSW its illegal to ask a bf mother to move along or stop feeding anywhere in NSW
if you are told to do so you can ring up i think its the anitdiscrimination board and sue for up to $40,000 in compensation. and so you should!
maybe give them a ring and see if there is anything like that where you are.
what a jerk
i would also be sending a letter to centre management telling them you want something done about him or you will take it further
how dare he say that to you!
RedPanda
06-12-2007, 00:04
Punkbaby, I would suggest you contact your local MP. I'm not sure if that's the right way to go about it, but a letter from the MP to Centre Management may stir up some trouble for the guy.
It is your legal right to breastfeed in public and not feel harassed about it. How did the stupid pig think babies ate? I'm sorry he upset you. The other thing you could do is call the ABA and ask how to formally complain about people like him.
moonwildflower
06-12-2007, 01:04
Aww :hugs: What a creep! So what if people have to eat there, so does your bubs, and anyone with half a brain wouldn't care if you fed DD in the shopping centre! It shouldn't be a problem if you were covered up. I honestly don't see what the big deal is, and if you're comfortable doing it, it's none of his business.
Report him, definately, he seriously needs a reality check. Breastfeeding is natural for goodness sake, and it is in no way related to prostitution! At all! Get a damned clue.
OH I love the idea of doing tht just to p!$$ him off. better yet go into him shop even if your by yourself or with dh and just casually bf while walking Around shopping in his store.
I had another idea - Today Tonight:idea:
I'm sure this is a story that they would feature. It might even get him in a way that might accually affect him. With the show being so widely watched and all.
Ha! He deserves all he gets for a remark like that.
A-hole.
What a jerk! Please do take it further, and let us know how you go. :hugs:
stellarella
06-12-2007, 06:07
Gah, progressive society? I think not.
Sheer Bliss
06-12-2007, 06:25
I found this link (http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/bans-on-public-breastfeeding-to-be-illegal/2007/09/23/1190486137533.html), which says down the bottom, that it is the anit-discrimination board that you complain to. And also Here (http://www.lawlink.nsw.gov.au/lawlink/adb/ll_adb.nsf/pages/adb_complaint) is a link to the website for how to go about it.
I'd definately complain to centre management & take the "insert filthy words here" to the anti-discrimination board. He deserves the public to be made aware of what a pig he is. I am absolutely FUMING at this - he cannot be allowed to get away with treating you like this. A 'breastfest' outside his shop is edfinately in order! I'd love to be b/f DS in the ergo while talking to the @sshole. Please tell me you live near me!!
punkbaby
06-12-2007, 06:46
Thanks everyone i have been stewing on it all night and i will contact the local ABA today and find out who to contact so something gets done i think and also look intothe anti discrimination board as well to see what they have to say. Stupid DH said to me this morning "thats what parents rooms are for" i could have throttled him! Like i said try keeping 3 other kids amused in a square box with nothing i said at least out in the actual centre we can play a game. (usually we do spot the pink top etc or spot the lady with black hair etc to keep them amused why feeding)
I will let you know what they say hopefully he doesnt have the chance to do it again
punkbaby
06-12-2007, 06:47
Another idea maybe you can mention to your local ABA chapter? They may take it up with his bosses if there is higher management. I can sympathise sort of. I was on the train one day bottlefeeding DD and I had someone come up and have a huge go cause I wasn't breastfeeding, I burst into tears as soon as I got off the train, some people just don't think before they open their stoopid mouths.
*HUGE HUGS*
Thats discgusting you cant win can you! Seems any which way you choose to feed someones always going to winge
Pippi Longstocking
06-12-2007, 06:54
Oh that's terrible punkbaby! And your DH needs a jolly stern talking to too! :shame:
You have every right to feed your baby wherever she needs it. Please don't let this incident shake your confidence. It makes me sad when stuff like this happens in this day and age. It shouldn't and he is clearly in the wrong.
If you want any help with letter writing or anything, I'd be happy to give you a hand. I'm quite well known for my scathing letters of complaint :o:devil6:
Fuchsia!
06-12-2007, 07:01
Oh that's terrible punkbaby! And your DH needs a jolly stern talking to too! :shame:
You have every right to feed your baby wherever she needs it. Please don't let this incident shake your confidence. It makes me sad when stuff like this happens in this day and age. It shouldn't and he is clearly in the wrong.
If you want any help with letter writing or anything, I'd be happy to give you a hand. I'm quite well known for my scathing letters of complaint :o:devil6:
Hehe!!! Im sure guv would make a nice letter up for you!!
I think its terrible! I would be ringing the centre managment and let it rip! What a pig!
metalhead713
06-12-2007, 07:07
GRR that woulda peeved me soo bad. I posted a thread not long ago about how a lady in maccas got glared at for bf her baby, (in a corner mind you, not like she was in full sight anyway!) and then how I had judgement for bottle feeding :rolleyes: damned if you do, damned if you dont!!
I say, bugger him, in fact, go back to the same spot and do it again. Maybe you could write somthing in your local paper about it, name and shame the shop, to make other people aware? And maybe you will bring other bf'ers out of their shell to come out and bf right out front of his shop!! :devil6:
aardvark
06-12-2007, 07:10
Complain to the management of the centre and the management of the shop.
When I have complained about an old fart at the local pool bleating about me feeding DS, they have threatened to cancel the bod's membership for "unacceptable behaviour".
Most places take a fairly strong stand on the matter.
The reality is that the men who complain about breastfeeding in public would probably think nothing about whipping it out for a wiz by the side of the road, too.
Pippi Longstocking
06-12-2007, 07:22
How 'bout something like this for the head office of the complex Punkbaby?
I am writing to you to bring to your attention an appalling situation involving the manager of “BoobsR4sexin’Only” located on the ** level of your complex.
I was sitting *insert location* discretely breastfeeding my hungry newborn baby. The person in question walked past me and in full hearing of my other children, aged *insert ages here* I was told "put it away this is a shopping centre not a bloody brothel people eat here!"
As you can imagine, I was beyond shocked at this outrageous and despicable comment. It is unlawful to be told to move on when breastfeeding a baby. It is discriminatory and illegal and most certainly unethical. The anti discrimination board has laws in place to protect nursing mothers like myself and I fully intend to utilize those laws to make sure that this does not happen to another vulnerable nursing mother.
I trust that you will address this issue as I am sure that this is not the kind of discriminatory behaviour you wish representatives of your complex to exhibit. I would like an apology from this person and also an assurance that this kind of situation will not be repeated.
Babies have the right to feed whenever and wherever they feel hungry.
Signed,
The Lady With The Milky Boobs
Obviously you might need to do some editing :laughing:
I'd also contact the anti discrimination board in your state. This kind of cr@p needs to be acted on, it is unfair, inappropriate and totally last century!
punkbaby
06-12-2007, 07:28
How 'bout something like this for the head office of the complex Punkbaby?
Obviously you might need to do some editing :laughing:
I'd also contact the anti discrimination board in your state. This kind of cr@p needs to be acted on, it is unfair, inappropriate and totally last century!
Wow thats awesome thankyou factful and gets to the point i am to angry to think what to write but thats perfect :) thanks so much Guv appreciate it.....may have to edit some parts LOL but thats awesome
Pippi Longstocking
06-12-2007, 07:40
No worries. I might have just been guessing at the name of the shop the dude managed and your name :raspberry::laughing:
noniwaldron
06-12-2007, 07:55
wow, hope i don't have to deal with this kinda ****! what a darn fool. i would have asked him if he wanted to take it outside! well i wouldn't actually, i prob would have burst into tears, but i would have wanted to thump him!
go get him punkbaby :)
Milliner
06-12-2007, 07:59
Pb - I am in shock that someone would say such a thing. What an a$$ he is!!
Guv - I might save that letter for a rainy day. I hope that I will never need it but just in case. You can always say what I am thinking but word it much better than I ever could.
punkbaby
06-12-2007, 08:13
I just rang the ABA here the local lady she was so lovely! This guy was reported 3 weeks ago, apparently a new mum with her first baby was told off as well and as she was having a hard time feeding that drove her to stop :( Makes me so angry hearing things like this. She is going to give me the details of who i can complain too as she said they like to stick to the same people so they are heard. I also recited your letter Guv and she said perfect and to send that to centre management and the stores head office (not the store as he might get it) and the other contacts she gives me!
KapowSchazam
06-12-2007, 08:20
That's so fantastic PB! I hope he gets the kick up the ar$e he obviously deserves!!! :shame:
I'd do everything in my power to get him back! :devil:
Love the letter Guv!!! :laughing: It's very very good!
mum_inlove
06-12-2007, 08:22
What a horrible thing to say!! I'm glad you're reporting him, hopefully he'll get a warning or some sort of 'punishment' .
I seriously don't understand why people have that extra time to comment on what other people do, it's not like it's affecting their life.
Maybe we should find out where he lives and do a strike by bf in front of his house for 24/7 :devil6::laughing: or in front of his shop like metalhead said! Lol
CharlisMummy
06-12-2007, 10:01
Thats greatthe ABA could help you out! That ***** deserves everything he gets!
What about writing to your local paper? To the letters page, or our paper has a ticks and crosses section?
Good Luck!
(great letter Guv :laughing: and I'd love to see his face if we all went and BF out the front of his store!)
PB I am so sorry you were at the front of this.... what a :mad::banghead::eek::no::banghead: he is!!!! How absolutely disgusting... I am floored at what to say!!!... and to know he has done it to others as well... that really takes the cake!!!!! :geek:
I'd arrange a sit in of B/F mothers just to p!ss him off (*insert evil laugh here*)
Glad the ABA has helped you!!! and hopefully something can be done about him.... I am literally dumb founded by his comment!!!!
And Guv.... well done on the letter,... it is FANTASTIC!!!!! love to see his face if it were sent written as it is here lol
That's just so wrong on so many levels. What a f***w**. Breastfeeding is hard enough as it is without having to deal with comments like that. :mad:
Still, I didn't know brothels were for feeding babies. You live and learn. :raspberry:
I like Guv'nor's letter. Heh Guv'nor, I'm in the midst of writing an angry letter to my bank, wanna help?
sunnyflower
06-12-2007, 11:12
What an idiot ,he needs to get a life.
~Emmylou~
06-12-2007, 11:24
AWESOME letter Guv!! :yelclap:
I'd happily sign that and send it off :D
That's despicable punkbaby, I'd definitely be taking it up with centre management and the anti-discrimination people.
What an ignorant man :banghead:
Pippi Longstocking
06-12-2007, 11:26
I like Guv'nor's letter. Heh Guv'nor, I'm in the midst of writing an angry letter to my bank, wanna help?
Absolutely :biggrin: I love penning angry letters, PM me the details :yes:
ironically i sit here reading this typing with 1 hand while i BF my DD and cant imagine anyone not seeing what a precious thing it is... grr, he has offended all of us BFding mothers!
if he has done it before then id contact today tonight, they could set him up and catch him out on camera while promoting the importance of BF and our rights at the same time
FunkyMonkey
06-12-2007, 11:33
Thanks i will put something in writing i wish i had friends down here i would get all bf mummies to sit in his shop and feed their bubs just to p!ss him off. I will try write something tonite dont know if it will have any effect though
Oh I am so there!
I love BF in public, not because I'm attention seeking but because it gets the message out the human babies do indeed BF. Even 19 month old toddlers!
How dare he insinuate that you feeding your baby is akin to having sex! That is appalling. Call his head office call the center management, put up a notice in the parents room, just shame that A/hole. BF is your babies right. Just ask him if he wants to eat his lunch in the toilet. AFAIC thats what a lot of parents rooms are anyway. Stinking of rotting nappies 'cause the bins only get changed once a week eeewwww.
*babygirl*
06-12-2007, 11:35
it annoys me SOOOOOOOO much when they use the excuse people eat here.... what the hell did he think bubba was doing???
:geek:
yeah he is right... ur tiny little hungry baby only wanted to play with ur boobs... in the same manner that belongs in a brothel:rolleyes::banghead:
idiot. i would definately report him to centre management... and call the head office of the store.. he wont be the 'higher power' unless it is a small store with no chains.
xx:hugs:
FunkyMonkey
06-12-2007, 11:38
Still, I didn't know brothels were for feeding babies. You live and learn. :raspberry:
HAHAHAHAHAHA
ROFLMAO
:yelclap::smiliedance::cool:
punkbaby
06-12-2007, 11:49
Well i have stirred the pot now! Ohh and as for today tonite i cant be bothered with that not my thing to be on TV LOL.
Anyhow i faxed my letter through to head office, the ABA (for a copy for their records) the shopping centres management and also the anti discrimination board. I also rang the store and asked for their fax and sent it to them as i figured stuff you, you need to hear what i think and well he cant exactly throw it away seeing the head office has it can he?
The head office rang me about ten minutes after sending it expressing their apologies and then giving me the speel about how OFFENSIVE it comes across to see a women BF. I said excuse me you find it offensive, mind you this was a women i was talking too! I said to her offensive is when someone classed BF as a brothel, i said Yes if i was sitting there with both boobs out and freely being an exhibitionist then i guess that would offend some but i was covered feeding my baby and nothing could be seen! I said not to mention my children hearing such filth and having my children think it was their fault i was so upset over the incident.
She then proceeded to tell me that she would speak to him but doesnt see it as a matter that needs action. Told me in future i should sit somewhere else or feed bubs at home to stop comments like this upsetting me. I told her i would expect that seeing she is his contact for the store and higher up that she should let him know how bad it looks for the company. Her response - we have teenage boys coming into this store, we have old men coming in here i am sure they would happily watch you!
I am furious absolutely furious! Needless to say the tables turned! She told me to leave it at that and she would mention it but its no big deal! Funny how when i mentioned that that equal opportunity commission has been informed along with the ABA how she suddenly couldnt be nice enough.
My response when she tried to take back everything she said.....Ohh its no big deal now is it? Then i hung up.
Oh my goodness PB I cannot believe how backwards that woman was..... especially if she was speaking in official capacity on behalf of an organisation..... in some places even suggesting that someone would like to see your boobs (which she is effectively saying by insinuating their customers would be happy to watch you bf), could be classed as sexual harassment.....
She is an idjit if you ask me..... Hope you get a good resolution out of it all.... and good on you for taking a stand..... how rude and arrogant of that man..... :shame:
Lollie86
06-12-2007, 12:00
OMG!! Firstly what a complete and utter moron he is and to say that in front of your kids is just plain wrong! :shame:
Good on you PB for sending through the letters and for sticking up for yourself. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. It is so unfair in this day and age for you to feel like you are the one doing something wrong. Im glad the ABA was able to help.
The lady you spoke to needs a good kick up her bum! I hope this gets taken further and that she realises tha bf is a natural thing and should not be discriminated against anywhere! Fancy people being offended by you discretely bf your newborn! :rolleyes:
OMG I'm furious!!!!! PB do not let this man win! And the woman at head office...omfg!
I think we need a 'breastfest' to happen right outside his shop. I don't know where you live but I hope it's not too far from me cause I'm soooooo there!
punkbaby
06-12-2007, 12:32
Hmm stupid women! I live in a sh@thole cant see there would be many mums down here anyhow good old gippsland!!
Anyone wanna come down LOL! I wont give him the satisfaction of telling me off again as if i am ever there again i will be sticking my foot out to trip him up so he wont have a chance to say anything!
way to go pb and everyone else. Is the store a branch or one off? if it is a branch or part of a franchase we can all get involved.
punkbaby
06-12-2007, 12:42
Its a well known store i know that there is one of them in every shopping centre that i have ever been too :) but i know that there was another of these stores in melbourne when i lived there and i walked in bf when dd2 was in a sling and they didnt blink! Its just this narrow minded loser i think
jembelina
06-12-2007, 12:53
I'd be expessing some into a cup and marching into his shop and throwing it in his face!! How horribly rude. I agree with others, most definately take it further, his management and centre management.
Harlequin
06-12-2007, 13:05
Oh my god..
FISTS OF RAGE!! :banghead::mad:
SassyMummy
06-12-2007, 13:07
Wow - what an a-hole... and then the nerve of that woman... she's an idiot - now you have even MORE to offer the anti-discrimination board! Not only was the man rude, but the woman was quite rude and unfair (and unprofessional) too! What a biatch!
FluffyBunny
06-12-2007, 13:13
Grrrr how annoying!!!:mad:
I mean thats what blimmin boobs are for....feeding our bubs! They weren't initially mens playthings!!!
punkbaby
06-12-2007, 13:15
Cant win though seriously can we, i am sure if she was sitting there screaming her head off he would hve told me to shut her up or something or someone would have looked at me as if to say Umm feed your baby shes screaming!
Wish the rest of the places woud get back to me now!
emilysmumma
06-12-2007, 13:18
I'm sorry you had to experience something like that. Not once, but twice.
Frickin idiots. What an @-hole and a bi@tch.
I would be getting back to the ABA and anti-disrimination and putting in a complaint about her too.
canberramomma
06-12-2007, 13:27
You should def contact ABA and report it and see if you can get a 'feed-in' going outside his store. Get someone from the local community paper to come and cover the event, too. That'll show him.
What an A-hole!!!
Pippi Longstocking
06-12-2007, 13:39
Goodness me, I can't believe the woman at the head office! You would think her job would to be to resolve conflict, not infuriate people! That is just outrageous.
Happy to bash out any more letters if ya need them PB :yes: and if I lived closer to Gippsland, I'd jolly well be marching in to that store, sitting on the front counter and breastfeeding my 26 month old toddler! :devil6:
mumofKieran
06-12-2007, 13:43
The irony of what he said to you is that your baby is a person, who was eating. Just as he said, that is a place for people to eat and that's what your little person was doing. He answered his own point really. It makes me angry to hear of things like this happening.
:mad::mad::mad:
~Emmylou~
06-12-2007, 13:43
OMG! That would be like a red rag to a bull to me!! :banghead:
As if his behaviour wasn't bad enough - to have a women speaking on behalf the company saying such blatantly ignorant and dismissive things...OMG....I'm so fired up for you!!
I'd definitely be taking it a step higher (or perhaps a few steps higher) above her head and asking whoever runs this company if that is how they want mothers treated in their shopping centres etc etc.
I'd also mention some trashy tabloid show (TT or ACA) - everyone knows they jump all over this stuff and even if you have no intention of going down that road it will be very ahem..."motivating" for them.
And I'd absolutely be making a formal complaint to the Equal Opp/Anti descrimination board.
Wow I cannot believe you could encounter two such ignorant people on the same day :hair::hair:
GraceUnhearing
06-12-2007, 13:46
wow what a stupid b***h i cannot belive wat she said to you
how dare she!
can you take it any higher above here.
ring the ABA back and tell them what she said to you
this makes me so mad!
this is why aussie bf is so low :(
stuid stupid ignorant people like this!
punkbaby
06-12-2007, 13:50
I have re-faxed my letter to the Anti discrimination board advising of what head office said, and also rang the ABA shes pretty much furious as well and has offered to ring head office herself to complain which is nice of her so lets see if she gets the same result that i did!
Lollie86
06-12-2007, 13:55
:fingerscrossed: something gets done about her....she should not be saying sh!t like that to people.
:eek: oh Bella you poor thing! What a jerk!
I hope the ABA and anti-discrimination people are able to help you out with this. He cant get away with treating people like that :banghead: I feel so sad for you and for the poor other mother who reported him :(
someone else mentioned just threatening them with going to ACA or TT even if you have no intention of it. It works (personal experience lol) :tongue: Might be worth a try.
bel_aiden
06-12-2007, 15:31
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PB, Im so sorry you had to go through that! i cant believe the narrow mindedness of some people.
il be back in good ol east gippy next saturday, and heading down the valley way prob the week afta, so if you give me the name of the shop i may just need to go there and sit down and feed my ds1 AND ds2! imagine what hed have to say about me feeding my 22 month old!!! oh il take my hubby too... hes much beta a quik come backs then me!!!
punkbaby
06-12-2007, 15:31
The ABA lady just rang and said she spoke to head office and found even though she got the Oh yes its our utmost concern we wont tolerate that etc etc she said she could tell from her tone of voice she couldnt give a damn. She told her that the local paper would be reading about it (she plans to make note of what happened to me and the other lady in it) and that she needs to open her eyes and realise that BF is acceptable and its an offence to discriminate. Funnily enough this stupid women who runs head office, well i think she runs it, rang me and did the i am sorry rah rah rah and offered me a $100 voucher to aplogise.
Needless to say i told her where to shove it yes it would be nice but i wont be bought off and told her that regardless the damage has been done, she kept insisting so told her to donate it to the salvos in cash and told her that i want to see that its been donated LOL. Apparently their employee has been rempremanded and it wont happen again, hmm i would like to see that!
Yeah I'm sure a little slap on the wrist will stop him opening his rude mouth again :rolleyes:
punkbaby
06-12-2007, 15:46
Well that woulld be interesting to see if he does it to you , i imagine if he sees me now he will shut his mouth......maybe i need to do the hair aother crazy colur see if h recognises me.
East gippy is my home turf :)
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PB, Im so sorry you had to go through that! i cant believe the narrow mindedness of some people.
il be back in good ol east gippy next saturday, and heading down the valley way prob the week afta, so if you give me the name of the shop i may just need to go there and sit down and feed my ds1 AND ds2! imagine what hed have to say about me feeding my 22 month old!!! oh il take my hubby too... hes much beta a quik come backs then me!!!
Oh Punkbaby ... I was furious at the start of the thread and then it got worse! :hair:
Good luck with this, I still can't get over the audacity of that woman at head office. Hope you are ok and that you feel a bit better about it seeing as the ABA and anti discrimination board are onto it.
Hope your other children are ok too
purplefairy
06-12-2007, 17:50
Simple question really i have been stewing over this for a few days now and think i need to do something just not sure who i complain too .
I was in a shopping centre sitting on a seat (the ones in the middle not the food court of anything, not that it would have bothered me) with the kids feeding dd and a guy from a well known shop walked past and said "put it away this is a shopping centre not a bloody brothel people eat here!"
Not really sure what he meant by that comment as i was well covered the only way you would have seen something is if you were looking over my shoulder and down. I had a blanket over so yes it was obvious i was feeding but nothing was shown at all. I told him to get F*** and to get a life she was hungry if he can eat here so can she. Its eating at me, i only realise tonite how much it upset me and think i wanna report him :(
What a Horrible Man. I would ring and complain to centre management as well as write a letter.
Does he work for some one or a big chain. If he does I would also ring and complain to his boss, if not the head office. What a stupid creep. Its not 1950 any more its 2007, I hate stupid ingnorent people like that and I am sorry that that had to happen to you. Im so angry, stupid man. ARHHHH.
:hissy:Your allowed to breast feed in public!!!!!!!!!!!! ARHHHHHHHHHH :mad:
Write to the local paper and the council as well and make a big deal about it. He can stick it where the sun dont shine.:sunshine:
Mamaduke
06-12-2007, 17:53
I don't know if anyone else has suggested it but I would be giving Neil Mitchell at 3AW a call during his morning show and speaking with him.
If anyone can get you the apology you so deserve it's Neil!
purplefairy
06-12-2007, 18:09
Well i have stirred the pot now! Ohh and as for today tonite i cant be bothered with that not my thing to be on TV LOL.
Anyhow i faxed my letter through to head office, the ABA (for a copy for their records) the shopping centres management and also the anti discrimination board. I also rang the store and asked for their fax and sent it to them as i figured stuff you, you need to hear what i think and well he cant exactly throw it away seeing the head office has it can he?
The head office rang me about ten minutes after sending it expressing their apologies and then giving me the speel about how OFFENSIVE it comes across to see a women BF. I said excuse me you find it offensive, mind you this was a women i was talking too! I said to her offensive is when someone classed BF as a brothel, i said Yes if i was sitting there with both boobs out and freely being an exhibitionist then i guess that would offend some but i was covered feeding my baby and nothing could be seen! I said not to mention my children hearing such filth and having my children think it was their fault i was so upset over the incident.
She then proceeded to tell me that she would speak to him but doesnt see it as a matter that needs action. Told me in future i should sit somewhere else or feed bubs at home to stop comments like this upsetting me. I told her i would expect that seeing she is his contact for the store and higher up that she should let him know how bad it looks for the company. Her response - we have teenage boys coming into this store, we have old men coming in here i am sure they would happily watch you!
I am furious absolutely furious! Needless to say the tables turned! She told me to leave it at that and she would mention it but its no big deal! Funny how when i mentioned that that equal opportunity commission has been informed along with the ABA how she suddenly couldnt be nice enough.
My response when she tried to take back everything she said.....Ohh its no big deal now is it? Then i hung up.
OMG What is the name of the store. That is disgraceful customer service to say the least. Did you get her name. I would go higher still and stick it to them.
She is obviously not a mother. One day the tables will turn on her and she may be. Hmmmmmmmm I wonder if she would drive all the way home to feed her starving screaming child or do it in a shopping centre. Nasty piece of work. I really think that she had no legal right to say those things to you at all, and that neglecting customers needs like that especially being such a serious derscrimitary matter, she could get herself in big trouble. Naughty Naughty:shame:
Your not the only BF mum out there. There is lots of us ( does this woman live under a rock?) and I take Offence to those comments she made as well.
cmd'smum
06-12-2007, 18:11
Oh my goodness PB I cannot believe how backwards that woman was..... especially if she was speaking in official capacity on behalf of an organisation..... in some places even suggesting that someone would like to see your boobs (which she is effectively saying by insinuating their customers would be happy to watch you bf), could be classed as sexual harassment.....
She is an idjit if you ask me..... Hope you get a good resolution out of it all.... and good on you for taking a stand..... how rude and arrogant of that man.....
Wow - what an a-hole... and then the nerve of that woman... she's an idiot - now you have even MORE to offer the anti-discrimination board! Not only was the man rude, but the woman was quite rude and unfair (and unprofessional) too! What a biatch!
OMG! That would be like a red rag to a bull to me!!
As if his behaviour wasn't bad enough - to have a women speaking on behalf the company saying such blatantly ignorant and dismissive things...OMG....I'm so fired up for you!!
I'd definitely be taking it a step higher (or perhaps a few steps higher) above her head and asking whoever runs this company if that is how they want mothers treated in their shopping centres etc etc.
I'd also mention some trashy tabloid show (TT or ACA) - everyone knows they jump all over this stuff and even if you have no intention of going down that road it will be very ahem..."motivating" for them.
And I'd absolutely be making a formal complaint to the Equal Opp/Anti descrimination board.
Wow I cannot believe you could encounter two such ignorant people on the same day :hair::hair:
:iagree:
I don't know if anyone else has suggested it but I would be giving Neil Mitchell at 3AW a call during his morning show and speaking with him.
If anyone can get you the apology you so deserve it's Neil!
:iagree::devil6:
He or sould I say "they" have messed with the wrong person PB!!
Let's see how much more they'll change their tune once the Anti-Discrimination Board get in contact with them!
Go PB!!!:yelclap:
Huge :hugs: Punkbaby...
I would have gone off my nut at him... Kids or no kids with me.... (they'll learn what it is to stick up for your self with a few choice words thrown in for good measure:laughing:)
I would have made him so upset and sorry for what he said... What as A******!!!:banghead::thumbsdown:...
I probably wold have got kicked out, but that's me at the moment... Short fuse for arrogant people!!!
My bub's has formula and so did his brothers i have had comments thrown at me in public places such as "shove it in a bit further i don't think your quite choking him yet" and "oh, i wonder if he got a choice"... Really distressing...
But they realized they said it to the wrong person and were left a little.... um... shall i say... SHOCKED!! & red faced... I have really great articulate wars with people...
Punkbaby... Go all the way with this... As you said not just for you but for all of the Nursing Mothers out there doing absolutely nothing wrong but providing their children with their god given right....
GIVE HIM HELL!!!.... If I was close I'd join you...
Good Luck!! x x
How pathetic.
This guy really picked the wrong person to mess with LOL he has a whole forum of women angry with him!
Jeclipse
06-12-2007, 18:53
I don't know if anyone else has suggested it but I would be giving Neil Mitchell at 3AW a call during his morning show and speaking with him.
If anyone can get you the apology you so deserve it's Neil!
:iagree: Get him back good PB! :devil6:
Butterfliez
07-12-2007, 09:56
OMG, PB, hugs for you! I cannot believe what you have been through!!! I love the comment about expressing some in a cup and throwing it in his face!!! This is how low the breastfeeding rates are that it is very sadly not the norm these days. :mad:
Butterflies&Hurricanes
07-12-2007, 10:11
OMG I would have been furious! I would have gone ape :hissy: and embarrassed the idiot!
And as for the silly woman you spoke to... I'd make sure she got a mouthful too!
Keep us posted Punkbaby! I'd love to know what happens!
punkbaby
07-12-2007, 10:53
I am wondering if i ring 3aw hmm thinking thinking! I would like too but i want to see what the anti discrimination board say first. That stupid women rang me again and apologised again stressing i dont take thing further, honestly i cant be bothered but i will be putting a sign up in the parents room and take a sign into the shop that sais we support BF, the aba told me there are signs so i told her i want one to take in there. I am wondering why the guy himself hasnt apologised to me, thats all i really want not some chick who doesnt give a damn ringing me apologising on his behalf.
Unfortunately PB he's probably not appologising because he is not sorry :thumbsdown:
The lady is probably only sorry because she fears things being taken further and getting in trouble for what has happened and her initial attitude and reaction towards it.
Id be making them sorry! :yes: Hopefully it will open their eyes to the issue and our rights and if not... well just scare them from opening their mouths again! :laughing:
MoOaNdLiTtLePoPpEt
07-12-2007, 14:33
Wow punkbaby...you did the right thing...no one has the right to make those comments...
i would be following through further with it cos by the sounds of it the lady you spoke doesn't really care and neither does the guy who made the comments as he would have appologised himself...
i would have done exactly what you did...but when i have next bubs and if ever i have a comment like that i wont sit there and take it, after reading your thread i will stick up for myself...i am not the type to, but breastfeeding is a normal natural, beautiful thing...GRRRR makes me angry hearing things like this!!!
Sorry Punkbaby :hugs:
Don't leave small minded people like this get you down for bf :flowerz:
Yep I would complain to centre management and if he owns a franchise, I would phone the head office as well.
Let us know how you go.
Grace
You are doing great PB! I am absolutely speechless with anger about what that woman said to you, just NOT ON!!
She needs an education, and it seems she is about to get one..:thumbsup:
Lastcenturymum
07-12-2007, 15:53
Thanks i will put something in writing i wish i had freinds down here i would get all bf mummies to sit in his shop and feed their bubs just to p!ss him off. I will try write something tonite dont know if it will have any effect though
You go girl!! In this day and age how stupid are some people!!! Doing the most natural thing in the world. Im so sorry for you that you got so upset :hugs: insensitive comments like that just tip the scales sometimes don't they.
reAllytee
07-12-2007, 16:00
What the hell is the world coming too.
I really hope our children help turn this mad house around !
I am outraged, take it as far as you can I say, dont let him or the stupid women get away with it.
Mamaduke
07-12-2007, 19:06
Come on...give Neil a call!!!:thumbsup:
wow I am speechless at the way you got spoken to and the way it has been handled. $100 wow now shut up and go away. WTF.
I would be all out to humiliate and boycott the shop I would be writing to papers and radio stations.
Lets hope the ABA get a voice out there.
Your poor little man I hope he knows it wasn't him bless him.
Ughh hope that guys karma comes and bites him in the **** very soon
punkbaby
07-12-2007, 21:34
The ABA are onto it on my behalf and for all BF mums out there :) and for the other mum that had the same problem as me. I tend to get too emotionally attached to things like this and i know i will get upset if i get another snide remark so i am going to let her work her magic, naturally i will be involved too but i dont think i would cope thats all i guess i dont need stress with a newborn really. She is going to write to the local paper with a comment about what happened to me and the other lady and she is going to personally go and see the man who told me off and give him her two cents worth as well and also try and get centremanagment to promote bf a little more or be more supportive of it or make it known around the centre thats its acceptable.
I get angry too easily and i would yell and scream and that wouldnt get me anywhere i know what i am like when i am passionate about something and it offends me. On a lighter note they are having their local weekly meet there next week and i have been invited to go along so i might at least meet some nice mummies here finally! ( so lonely here not knowing a single soul yet) She did mention alot of the mums bubs are well over 12 months i am sure it will open this idiots eyes anyhow!
Good for you Punkababy, I have been following this thread with interest.
I am so glad the ABA are taking this up on your behalf and I dont blame you at all for taking a bit of a back seat, you have more than done your bit:yelclap:
Lets hope that he gets the kick up the bum he deserves.
You just get a good vibe about some people/places dont you? I have a local little cafe, its not flash like the other places in the shopping centre a little run down. They however give a free babichino to my DD and make the biggest fuss of her whenever we go in there. Its the best treat for DD to go to "her" cafe...guess what they have on their door. One of the ABA we welcome breastfeeding mother stickers.
I just want to say a big thank you from an ex breastfeeding, oh boy I hope I have the chance to breastfeed again mothers. You have taken a brilliant stance and I reallly applaud you thank you:yelclap:
Loopy Linda
07-12-2007, 22:43
Just wanted to send you good luck, keep it going punkbaby
Linda
GraceUnhearing
07-12-2007, 23:14
i cant belive she rang you again asking you no to talk it further
i would take it further teach them a dam lesson thats IT IS NOT OFFENSIVE
stupid ignorant narrow minded people!
Hey hun
Havent read all replies as my computer is running sllloooowwww tonight!Discriminating against BFing is SO wrong!As a BFing mother of a 26 month old,I get it all:rolleyes::raspberry:
If you need any help taking down the guy who abused you,I am happy to help:shakehands:
lavenderpegasus
07-12-2007, 23:44
pb - i'll be in melb/cranbourne soon i can come to your neck of the woods and b/f on that same seat my boobs are massive!! I can be a little scarey too so, if he said anything, he would be feeling my diplomatic fist somewhere unplesant.... grr even my friends get scared:devil:
cmd'smum
07-12-2007, 23:52
Unfortunately PB he's probably not appologising because he is not sorry
The lady is probably only sorry because she fears things being taken further and getting in trouble for what has happened and her initial attitude and reaction towards it.
Id be making them sorry! :yes: Hopefully it will open their eyes to the issue and our rights and if not... well just scare them from opening their mouths again! :laughing:
:iagree:
What the hell is the world coming too.
I really hope our children help turn this mad house around !
:iagree:
pb - i'll be in melb/cranbourne soon i can come to your neck of the woods and b/f on that same seat my boobs are massive!! I can be a little scarey too so, if he said anything, he would be feeling my diplomatic fist somewhere unplesant.... grr even my friends get scared:devil:
:laughing:
nayasmum
07-12-2007, 23:56
argh what a f*%#ing IDIOT!!!!!!!
Simple question really i have been stewing over this for a few days now and think i need to do something just not sure who i complain too .
I was in a shopping centre sitting on a seat (the ones in the middle not the food court of anything, not that it would have bothered me) with the kids feeding dd and a guy from a well known shop walked past and said "put it away this is a shopping centre not a bloody brothel people eat here!"
Not really sure what he meant by that comment as i was well covered the only way you would have seen something is if you were looking over my shoulder and down. I had a blanket over so yes it was obvious i was feeding but nothing was shown at all. I told him to get F*** and to get a life she was hungry if he can eat here so can she. Its eating at me, i only realise tonite how much it upset me and think i wanna report him :(
I was at the mall today and fed DD in the middle of the mall (I couldn't be bothered walking to the other end with a screaming baby) and while I was feeding her I thought about this thread, I was just waiting for someone to say something, but no one did, which is a good thing,
yay ya got the ABA onto it, its so wrong what that guy said
Tam-I-Am
08-12-2007, 10:26
Well done on not letting this go, and for going through the right channels to make some change. You're right - screaming and yelling wouldn't help your cause at all, but by going through the right channels, you may just make some real, and positive change, for other mums in your position in the future :hugs: I think you should be really proud of yourself!
Littlemisslinda
11-12-2007, 15:54
OMG! This is enough to bring me out of lurkdom to say :hugs: - that is outrageous!
Provided its not against forum rules (dont know that it is, but should confirm with a mod) would it help to start a petition or list of names in the thread of those of us who will no longer shop at the store or any of its other branches until they actually do something to the guy? I would think that a list with a couple of hundred names on it might send a bit of a message!
I know my DH gets angry about that sort of attitude too. Its basically saying that men lack any kind of control which is pretty offensive to them also. :thumbsdown: So I know his name would be on the list.
If its a national chain, then copies of the list to state managers would be pretty great too.
mum2blueeyes
12-12-2007, 09:08
I am not a breastfeeder, but I have to say that your experience and the subsequent reaction of the management of the company in question is appalling.
Having said that though, I don't feel that going on a witchhunt for 'that guy' to lose his job or whatever is the best way to deal with it. I think the letter that guv'nor penned for you, and your approach through official channels (the ABA, anti-discrimination board etc) is the best way to deal with it. If the issue is pursued through legal channels, then the company will have no choice but to do something to 'that guy', although it will most likely be disciplinary action, not a sacking. Personally I feel that sacking is a bit harsh, because it is evident that the guy is guilty of nothing more than sheer stupidity, which isn't illegal yet. And let's face it, by presenting yourselves as a bunch of hysterical women baying for blood, you're hardly likely to change his mind about breastfeeding mothers, are you.
The company however, will need to address the issue in order to avoid the resulting bad publicity. It may be a very capitalist point of view, but hey, if the threat of hitting them in the 'hip pocket' (so to speak) gets the message about breastfeeding through loud and clear, then that's all that really matters, right?
punkbaby
12-12-2007, 10:37
No witchhunt mum2blueeyes :) all i am asking is for an apology and also no more discrimination from him again. I wouldnt go as far to bag the other stores within thhis chain of stores as i know one in the city never said anything when i was BF blaze.
I am sitting tight waiting now the antidiscrimination board has had three official complaints from this shopping centre. They have contacted him and advised that i want a written apology from him and the receptionist and how i am within my right to persue further action however as this is all i want no further action will be taken if they follow my requests. Plus just to annoy the store i want them to put up an ABA sign :) thats as far as i am going to go. Naturally if he as so much sais a smart comment to me i will let him know exactly what i think of him, although i hope this doesnt happen.
I can get him fired, i can sue him, i can get really nasty but...all i want is a sorry. A sorry that is meaningful not laughed off with snide comments. This wont take back what he said to me but it might make him realise what he did was unacceptable so it wont happen to other mums. I have a pretty tough skin really but this really upset me imagine how it would be for other mums out there, vulnerable, not sure about BF etc. it can really knock a persons confidence down.
Stupid i know but i went shopping the other day there and bubs needed a feed i sat down with the kids and i had a damn panic attack as i was scared i would be told off again :( Mind you i was at the other end of the shopping centre away from his store but i couldnt help feel i was in the wrong, when i know i am not :)
Ally Jane
12-12-2007, 10:52
i dont even know what to say,reading what happened to you made my blood boil....i would be emailing everyone i know not to shop there ever again,but hey im vindictive...i havent read the whole thread so im off to do so.....
Just came across this thread,
Good for you Punk Baby for standing up for everyones rights and going through the appropriate channels.
Shame you dont know a few breast feeders that could be arranged to sit feeding on mass in that centre. I remember once the Aus Breast Feeding association did a Breastfeeding World Record attempt, for the greatest number of breastfeeding at one time in one place. LOL may be we should contact your state branch and organise a similar attempt at that shopping centre. Even something in conjunction with Pink Ribbon Day.
I yelling and badmouthing, etc dont get you anywhere. You just want/need idiots like that to rethink their actions and appologise in a genuine manner. The fact that you already feel uncomfortable about feeding in the centre again indicates you suffered significant stress from the whole incident...so good on you even more for having the strength to carry through your complaint in a mature manner. Unlike the store Manager/superviser or whoever she was.
mum2blueeyes
12-12-2007, 11:48
Punkbaby, I completely agree with you.
I think expecting an apology is more than reasonable under the circumstances, and I think you have dealt with it in absolutely the right way.
Just wanted to quickly say :hugs: to you Punkbaby, you are an amazing woman to have toughed it out through this, it must be a really hard thing to go through anytime let alone with a little bubba to care for!
You are so strong and are doing a great service for other mums who might go to that store.
:smiliedance: for you!!
Just read this thread quickly. I am appalled at how people think. The guy was senseless and rude and I would have told him to stick his head back in the sand. As for the lady I would asked to speak with someone else or better yet her superior. You deserve an apology from both the idiotic boy and so called company rep. It's awful what you went through.
Hey approach the Current Affairs. Babies need to be fed too - those idiots.
OMFG sorry i know a old thread but i can not belive this , did you get the apology yet?
OneNowOneLater
18-12-2007, 14:32
Bump... i wanna kno too!
punkbaby
18-12-2007, 14:39
I am still waiting for an apology, the anti discrimination board wrote them a letter, apparently they have 14 days to respond, if not they will take it further, but i have to want to take it further too!
I walked past there the other day, not because i wanted to but becuase i had too and he just glared at me its not like he doesnt know who i am i mean i stand out LOL but he could have said something then i am sure.
I assume i will hear back soon, if not i imagine after christmas
bubs_and_us
18-12-2007, 16:30
PB, i am speechless.
i am not a breastfeeding mother, but i am absolutely apalled at the behavior and attitudes of this individual, and the company concerned.
to think that breastfeeding women can still be treated with such contempt in 2007 blows me away.
these people obviously need education on breastfeeding and legislation surrounding breastfeeding in public (to find out that it is the most natural thing in the world, and completely LEGAL and within the mothers rights to do so!)
thankyou PB for taking this further. it is a step in the right direction for breastfeeding mothers.
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