I'm seriously thinking..

[mum_inlove]

...that I'm not a mum like I imagined I would be.:(

I don't know..I've been feeling really down. I just feel like I have no clue when it comes to my children. Ds is 16 months yet I feel like I never got it right with him. He's not a bad child, doing normal naughty stuff that toddlers do. But sometimes I just want him to listen when I tell him not to. I've talked to him nicely, firmly, got down on his eye level, showed him what to do, yelled at him, little smack on his hand. Nothing. I get to the point where my teeth hurt from grinding it so hard to bottle up my frustration.My head hurt from trying so hard not to yell. But yet when it's dh who tell him no, just once, and he'll stop and won't do it again. He'll whinge all day and nothing I can do to stop it. That mean I haven't give him what he needs, right? Coz' he'll be happy if all his needs are met

Same with dd, I don't know what to do with her either. I feel like I'm over the place. I don't know if I've fed her properly, I don't know why she cries, I don't know what she's feeling. It seems I never make her feel content. Everytime dh asks me whats wrong with her, I feel like crying when I say I don't know, because I don't.

Like I said they're not bad children, it's me who's the bad mother. I seriously thinking that maybe my mom or my in laws should raise them. Because anyone else will raise them better but me:crying: It's a terrible thought, I'm trying to shake it away, but it's keep coming back:(

Anyway, sorry for such a pity post.

[punkbaby]

You are not a bad mother at all! Being a mum is a learning experience all the time! There is always something to learn always a new trick that you learn which helps and when there is more than one child its even harder! Gee i am on my 4th thankgod shes an angel or i would be a mess, my other kids apart from dd9 have seriously turned feral and i dont know why! I am still learning!

We all learn new things everyday and i am sure that you are doing a wonderful job! Do you have any support around you to give you a hand if you feel the need to take a break? Remember your dd is only little and its a whole new world to her as well so shes learning as well its natural for her to be a little unsettled, i am waiting for my time to come when my bubs gets to the I dont wana be an angel anymore!!

please dont be so hard on yourself have a chat to someone close to you us mums have to do alot of things, we arent wonder women!

[Wazza]

don't be so hard on yourself. i constantly tell DS who has just turned 2, stop doing something and i get told 'NO'. Some days i end up in tears on the phone to hubby that we have had a rough day at home. Yet whe DH gets home from work, DS is an angel and listens to whatever DH says. It makes me sick!!!!!
I have gone through the phases of 'I'm a bad mother'!!! We just have our good days and bad. And then I also think of all those other Mum's who are out there that are doing it by themselves, have relationship issues or can't cope financially. I have a loving husband, 2 healthy children, a nice roof over my head, financially secure and food on the table. I try to think of the positives!!!
Although on VERY bad days, this is easier said than done!!!!

:kiss:

[GeorgeousGirlBubbas]

You need some hugs :hugs:and i bet your just having an 'off' period which every mum goes through, cause we are are not super human!

Maybe your 16 month old is starting with the so called terrible 2's it is possible, and maybe it is a bit overwhelming for you. I can sympathise my dd was a nightmare.

Your daughter might just be teething how old is she? Take every day a step at a time it does get easier and you will get to know exactly what is up with your DD.

[Dea]

sweet .. it happens to all of us .. gosh im going thr all that myself .. i know my kids are pretty good kids .. but i expect too much from them & me & im at a point now just like you ...

hope you feel better soon
hugs to you ...
xxxxx:hugs:

[HaydensMummy]

just thought u might need some of these :hugs:, no advise sorry i only have a 2 1/2mth old

[lukaelmo]

He'll whinge all day and nothing I can do to stop it. That mean I haven't give him what he needs, right? Coz' he'll be happy if all his needs are met


Nup.... honestly, it depends on the alignment of the planets for this... I can have a great day with the boys where they are happy lovely children, and then the next, for some unknown reason they are whining little buggers sent to torture me... I don't know why.

This doesn't make you a bad mother... whining children take it right out of you, drive you bonkers... promise.

[aimz]

oh hun you are doing a fab job!! parenting is THE hardest thing in the world, and the most rewarding.... like all of our other relationships we have our ups and downs together....

kids can sense if we are feeling out of sorts... they feed off of our vibes.. is there any chance you could step out by yourself once a day? i used to go and get bread and milk once DH got home or just for a walk by myself... only 10 minutes but it does help

if you need to talk im always here... and i know all the july mummas would love to hear from you :)

chin up lovely... you are the best mum your kids could hope for - for one reason, you are THEIR mumma

[EsSjAy]

HUGE :hugs:...

Don't doubt yourself hun.... As a mum of 4 (& 1 Stepson) there's no right or wrong... We just do our best... And our 'darling children':devil:will forever test us and at times it can make you feel a little lost and not sure if we are doing the right thing by them... It's a normal feeling but i would recommend talking to someone and getting it out... Bubhub obviously is great for that but maybe someone close to you.. What you need is someone to come up to and give you a hug and say "your doing a great job".... I know sometimes that's all i ever wanted... A little reassurance...

Chin up hun.... Oh and by the way....






:hugs: YOUR DOING A GREAT JOB X X

[mum_inlove]

Thanks very much everyone for all your kind words..

Yeah I've been feeling soooo down lately. Sometimes there are times when I just think I couldn't go through the day. There are just too many times when I ring dh in tears and saying I couldn't cope. Everytime I ring my mom for a chat, she'll always tell me that she'll look after ds for a year or so just until I settle with dd. Maybe she just wants to help, but that just make me feel more like a failure. Feel like even my own mum doesn't think I'm doing the right thing she wants to raise my son for me.

I just feel like I'm under so much pressure, and sometimes people who are closest to you are the one who pressure you more because they can, ykwim? I think I'm trying to prove to my self that I can be a super organised mum and wife who'll have everything under control all by myself. Maybe I'm trying too hard. Because now, even though I love my children so much, I found that I hardly enjoy them, ykwim?

Anyway, after reading all your post make me realise all of the good things I have, and I'm gonna start concentrating on them. Maybe I'm still not fully used to being a mum of two, but I'm sure I'm gonna get there!

[punkbaby]

I have always said that going from 1 to 2 is the hardest, i still consider it the hardest! Its hard enough juggling your time with one let alone two and remember you have a newborn so things are still pretty demanding when things settle down with her i am sure you will find it heaps better :)

[stompy]

Hi Anggy,

I can really sympathise with what you are going through. I have hit a really rough patch which often has me wondering if it will ever end. DD is 2.5 yrs and DS is almost 8 months, and both are absolutely testing me to my limits:hair:

By the end of most days I am in tears. I am finding it really hard to cope with ds, who spends most of the day crying (and I am not exaggerating here). He cries from the moment he wakes in the morning. Everything is a struggle- changing his nappy, dressing him, bathing him, trying to get him to play with his toys alone for just two minutes!!!! All of this results in screaming, and what makes it worse is the fact that there are usually no tears, he just seems really really cranky.

Anyway sorry for my rant, guess I just need to get it off my chest.

sending you some :hugs: and please know that you are not alone in feeling this way. PM if you need to chat or get things off your chest.