View Full Version : Homebirth: I do not want an EDD!
Is it reasonable to request that I do not have an EDD. I mean my midwife can have one if she needs to but I do not want to discuss an EDD at any point. The most I want to do is have an approximate guess, for example late September.
I will not be looking at any charts in pregnancy books to find my EDD. I will simply be counting 9 months from the date of conception and anywhere around then will be good enough for me.
A lot of the problems (mostly psychological...LOL) I encountered with my last birth was due to my EDD and my son not understanding the concept of an EDD....I just cannot handle the pressure of being 'overdue'...even though it will already be different from the BC in the sense that I wont have the pressure of transferring/induction etc. However the pressure from family and just the pressure of that one date is enough to evaporate my inner strength when I need it most.
I already know I can carry a baby to 19 days post EDD without any trouble...I already know my babies come when they are good and ready, what is the purpose of an EDD other than for my midwife to plan her own life around my birth? I am totally happy for her to do that. I just dont want to think about an EDD.
Am I being unreasonable? Will a HB midwife think me crazy? Would she go for it?
I think you are being perfectly reasonable. EDDs are ridiculous - it is well known and accepted that women have differing menstrual cycles so why do we expect all women to have exactly 40 week gestations? It doesn't make sense to me.
If I ever have another baby, I will just add 2 weeks to the "due date" and use that.
Interestingly, I have never really had a regular menstrual cycle and I don't have regular gestations either - my first baby was 4 days late, my second was 10 days early, my third was born on her due date, my fourth was induced 10 days late and my 5th was 12 days late.
Babies don't have calendars in utero. They come out when they are good and ready, not at exactly 40 weeks!
nah...go for it!! Just have a due month, or even better, a due season...:laughing: Bring on those Summer babies!! :)
I am the same I am aware of when I O'd as I was charting my first scan gave me a different date by a week meh whatever. I am due in May and that's all that anybody needs to know even my midwife lol
I think it would be handy to have an EDF (estimated due fortnight) just so you know when you might go into labour, but yes, you can definitely figure that out for yourself. Or don't worry about it. I don't think that's weird, babies usually don't come on the day anyway and apparently its worked out on some outdated method anyway, which is why it never seems to work.
Next time I won't be having a 'due date' either. Or maybe I will say its earlier, so I can go 'over' instead of going 'before' like I did last time. And make everyone wait.
But the actual 'EDD' they love to give out, holds no relevance for me now.
I will (if I'm blessed enough to have more babies :() just count from the month of conception, and use an Estimated Due Month. Concieved in July, due in April-ish. I might just, in that case, say "Baby due in Autumn"
You can refuse to tell the middy what your LMP is I guess :D although I suppose a few things are dependant on dates - will you be having the morphology scan? I think there is a 4 week window for that (18-22 weeks) but also if you do have that, they'll tell you how far along you are, or at least it will be very difficult for you to avoid being told (coz those sonographers tend to be a major PITA in my experience :D) Also any other 'routine' tests you might want to have, may depend on dates. I'm thinking if you want to have the GD test, etc.
Great idea! :yelclap:
I don't think it's unreasonable at all...go for it.
With my next bub I am going to add 2 weeks to the EDD they give me. I won't stress out until 42 weeks is up!
The EDF is a good idea and not having an EDD is a great idea! They are highly overrated!
The only reason that I like to have an estimation is so that I know how mature the bub is in the event of early labour or other complications.
I'm happy to have an EDM (month) or as I said before..."baby due mid September"...or "baby due late October" or something similar.
Interesting point Queenie about the 20 week scan. I would know enough of an estimate to get that done at the right time. I wouldn't be having any other tests. I would know approximately when the baby was due. Counting 9 months from the date of conception is a good guess however not having that single date would take a great deal of pressure off.
I just tell them i'm due in May, noone has really asked for the exact date. May will do!
What a fantastic idea.
For me personally i dont think i could do it.... definitly something to think about tho :)
Well Queenie they told me by my LMP I would of been 2 weeks further than I am as it was a 60 odd day cycle, then the baby would of measured 3 weeks smaller. So when I got the early scan I told her to ignore the LMP in fact ignore anything the DR had put down and listen to me lol and I guessed my baby's gest age and I was 8 days off but she said I think perhaps that DR's need to listen to women!
Yes Ella just say I am due in "enter month" which as I said is what i am doing they have a rough idea.
Also I have booked my scan for the latest I can have it. By my chart records.
Hi Ella, I think the kind of homebirth midwife you'd be wanting would be the kind to be delighted that you are thinking of a due month rather than a due day.
Ella did I miss something are you expecting or just talking hypothetically?? Are some belated congrats in order here? (Sorry I've not been active here at BH for a while!)
If I ever have another I'll be like you, a due month is close enough!
Yes Ella just say I am due in "enter month" which as I said is what i am doing they have a rough idea.
Pixie, do you get some strange looks when you tell people you are due in enter month?
I get looks all the time, it's hard to pick which ones are the strange ones.....:p
ROFL at shed and Pixie...teeheeee :laughing:
Julie - No not UTD yet but TTC! :fingerscrossed::babydust2:
It's a perfectly reasonable request! I can't see why your middie would have a problem with it if that's what you wish to do!
I know my 'EDD' (going my LMP as I was charting my cycles) but i'm not holding anything to it. I know bubs will come when he's ready, but for my own peace of mind, I like knowing the 'EDD' so if by chance I get to a point where i'm appraoching 'overdue' I can make arrangements to keep an eye on the function of the placenta. I know it's not overly common, but the thought of the placenta starting to deteriorate and me not having any idea, potentially putting bubs as risk kinda freaks me out :o
But other than that, i'm happy just to tell people i'm due in Jan/Feb :)
When I got pregnant last time, I worked out the edd, then added a month, which came out the 28th of May or something, so I told everyone "June" I really did not want the annoyance of being bugged!! :)
:yes: I think this is smart thinking...especially if you suffered some EDD pressure in your first pregnancy.
I was wondering though if 9 months is enough to work with as an estimation. I'm hopeless with working things out and numbers, so take this with a pinch of salt, but maybe working out ten lunar months would be a better bet, or even ten normal months if you tend to have a longer gestation. Cause 40 weeks is more than 9 normal months.....:detective:
Best of luck TTC! May your bub come to you sooner rather than later:).
its funny how some health professionals are so stuck on working out an exact EDD. I didnt remember the date of my LMP - I'd only had 3 since having DS (yay demand feeding!) and they were irregular anyway, but the middies at the hospital would push me to name a date even after I told them I had no idea. Funny thing is I would forget which date I had given, then in my next appointment someone would ask my LMP date again and the same thing and I obviously gave a different date because they said oh you are actually 'x' weeks and 'y' days then!
I've decided to let them give me as late an EDD as possible so I have longer before the pressure to induce starts. I've found that when I tell people I'm due sometime at the end of February they always want me to say a date.
I also like the idea of an EDF!
For me, its about perception though. My EDD is the 18th February (though 5th of February according to a sonographer :rolleyes:) and I don't really have a problem with it as my perception of an EDD is realistic. I *never* say 'due date', I say EDD, because the emphasis for me is on the word "estimated".
It doesn't bother me that others think my baby will arrive spot on the 18th, give or take a day or two :no:, its MY perception that matters.
My EDD is 18/02/08, which means my baby will come some time late in February or early March - that suits me fine :biggrin:
But yeah, Ella, I think most HB midwives would be fine with you not wanting one because they will understand what you are saying.
Oh thank-you, thank-you, thank-you for starting this thread!
I am so sick of people asking me when I am due. I attempt to laugh it off and I say "it's a baby, not a bus, it doesn't have a schedule" but they don't get it :no:
We've had an EDMonth right rather than an EDD right from the start.
DH's boss is really hung up on getting a due date out of us so she can organise his leave, but we keep trying to explain to her that even if we give her a specific date it means NOTHING, a baby comes when a baby wants to come, it could be two weeks early it could be two weeks late it could be longer or shorter than that, and we wouldn't have it any other way!
I'm starting to worry we will have people ringing round the clock in Feb to find out if the baby's born yet, and I really don't want that hassel. So I've started telling people "Late feb, early March", or "March" to those who don't remember we were saying Feb :)
I've noticed view people pay attention to the E in EDD.
this would have to be the best idea i have ver heard of! i went 8 days 'over' with both of my children, was induced with DD then they couldnt get me in with DS, went in naturally, this was the best feeling know i could do it, then to deliver him at 10 lb 14 oz was truley the best feeling. it stressed me out knowing i was over both times, i am so going to ask for a EDM (month) next time!
hubber in hiding
I don't have an EDD either, and I've never even had any kinda issues with late babies and the like.
I'm just going for Aug/Sep... most likely Sep, probably early to mid..... :D
I added about 3 weeks. I never told anyone a date just the month so it took alot of pressure off although for me my belly was so gynormous that it freaked people out abit. It was mostly due to exhaustion that I wanted to birth rather than a due date.
ive never heard of that before but i guess it makes good sense.. they say only about 3% of babies are born on their actual due date anyway. I dunno if i could do it..id want to know.
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