fully ff but desperately want to bf again

[lollydove]

hi everyone. my dd is 4.5 months old and ive been feeling so down about not bf anymore, i cant stop thinking about it and ive been feeling this since about 2 weeks after I started 100% ff. the reason i started ff in the first place is because i had to work half day weekends and cant express a drop, so had to offer her formula when i wasnt there. problem was she still wouldnt take it and would become so distraught, so we made the decision that it would be better for everyone is she was ff so that she wouldnt get so upset and go hungry when i wasnt there, that way she would be used to having formula by the time i have to go on weekends. well i know this probably sounds like the wrong or silly thing to do or maybe even selfish, but it was what i thought was right at the time. now im so upset and so desperately want to bf again, but i havent bf her for over a month now and because i cant express i am doubting that i will be able to revert because i cant help boost my supply (and thats if she even wants to take bm again). i did try bf her again today, knowing there isnt really anything much there but more to see if she will attach, and she did but only for a few seconds.

another thing is that she doesnt like being cuddled- when she's being fed she will only eat if she's laying down without being held, when she's tired she wont let anyone rock her to sleep or even cuddle her-she screams until she gets put in her cot... im craving closeness from her in a such a big way i feel so hurt and feel like she doesnt love me. but then i think, well now im just wanting to bf again for selfish reasons :(

if anyone has been through what im feeling can you please offer some advice. i dont know if i should try bf again and get meds and try cookies etc or if it would be wrong and confusing for her to go back to bf after i was so awful and took it away from her :crying:

it was such a struggle to get her to take formula and now im scared of confusing her and upsetting her even more by trying to change it all again

i wish i could go back in time and not have worked those days but i had them booked in before giving birth and didnt realise how hard it would be. i want to do the right thing by her, i just need help now to know what exactly that is...

[SassyMummy]

I switched my daughter from breast to bottle full time at about 9 weeks of age. Sometime last year, when she was over 1, I started really wishing I could breastfeed, and had a brief look into relactation. I decided that because my daughter was older, there was a VERY LITTLE chance she'd want to attempt to breastfeed, as as I'd gone over a year without breastfeeding, it would take me quite some time to get my milk back.

I still really regret my decision to formula feed.

Perhaps you could look into relactation... the fact your baby is still only young and you've only ceased breastfeeding a month ago would mean you have a possible chance.

I'd start by contacting the Australia Breastfeeding Association and letting them know what you want. They'll help you from there.

They may suggest expressing... even if you don't get anything when you express, regularly doing this could be just what your body needs to bring your milk back.

They might also suggest using a supply line in the meantime. This is a tube that attaches to teh breast, but supplies formula. Therefore, your baby will have to somewhat latch on to you to get a feed, but will get formula. It may train her to take your breast again before you actually have your milk.

I'm not too knowledgable, but these are the things I read about when looking into it myself.

Women who adopt, and who have never had kids of their own, with persistance and effort, can breastfeed their adopted children... so don't give up hope!

ETA - Here's a link about a supply line... just in case I didn't explain it very well: http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/sns.html

[naiwen]

Lollydove hugs,
I relactated myself and you can do it but you have to put in a lot of effort! The most important thing is to spend a lot of time skin to skin. I also used a supply line, you have the formula in a container with a small tube taped to your breast and when bub sucks they get formula but it is coming from the nipple IYKWIM. You can also get a prescription from your GP for domperidome which can boost you supply.
I am sure the other mums on here can tell you about other methods but basiclly you do have to devote quite a lot of time to it and be determined but it is definalty worth it.
I am not Bfeeding as DS has lung problems and is tube fed but it does not hurt to try!

[c38]

My advicewould be to put her to the breast as often as you both like and just see how she goes. You may need to spend a day just putting her on every time shes wakes, or looks interested.
Talk to your Family and Child Health Nurse or contact a Lactation Consultant for assistance and advice.
Relactation is possible. You may need some medication or to use a supply line (a soft long strawlike line, one end you sit in the corner of her mouth when shes attached, the others sits in a bottle of formula or EBM, so when she suckles she definately gets supply but is also stimulating you to produce.
Goodluck

[stellarella]

I just want to give you a hug, this must be very heart breaking for you.

It is possible to relactate. You should contact the Australian BFing Association if you are serious.

Good luck.

[SassyMummy]

I do believe it's possible AYM... as I said in my previous post... women who have never had babies ever, or been pregnant or anything, can breastfeed their adopted children.

Of course it requires lots of effort on your part... but contact the Australian Breastfeeding Association and speak with them. They will lead you in the right direction.

[lollydove]

everyone i just want to say THANK YOU SO SO MUCH :hugs:im definately going to try and im really looking forward to it. ive got the sling out again which i hadnt used since she was 6 weeks old (i was using the baby bjorn instead) and i wish id kept using it the whole time, tbh i thought i would squash her :o she loved it far more than the bb. ill keep trying to latch her on and try all the ideas you suggested. thanks again, ill keep you posted. AYM i hope if you decide to try it goes well for you :fingerscrossed:

Its absolutely amazing what our bodies are capable of, I cant believe that women who have never been pregnant can bf, this makes me feel like I can definately do it if they can :thumbsup:

[Lil X-men]

You can do it Candy:thumbsup:, it hasn't been that long a month isn't long to have stopped, I got Zeke back to 100% BF after formula feeding for a few weeks it can be done, I found it was a gradual process, I slowly cut down the bottles and up the BF as my supply increased.
I also offered boob often as someone else said, the nipple stimulation triggered those hormones and my milk was back to normal in no time, I knowit's not that easy for everyone but best of luck hun my:fingerscrossed: it works for you!!
And heres some lactation dust too:babydust2::babydust2::babydust2: ( I have more than enough to spare lol)

[sparkler]

:thumbsup: Good Luck Lollydove

[Jeclipse]

Sorry I have no advice, but I'm wishing you all the luck in the world... :fingerscrossed:Fingers crossed it works out for you both:hugs:

[Jelly Baby]

I'd LOVE to be able to go back to breastfeeding my son. It's been about a month and I truly believed it was all over.

How long would it take to get my milk supply back up??

[naiwen]

It took me about a fortnight to get my supply up to the point where I could 100% breast feed. I even spent a weekend in bed with bub skin to skin and him having constant access to the breast. I think this was a big help, I know it can be tricky especially if you have an older bub but it is a big supply booster. Bubs love it too!

[NerdyMumma]

i did try bf her again today, knowing there isnt really anything much there but more to see if she will attach, and she did but only for a few seconds.

another thing is that she doesnt like being cuddled- when she's being fed she will only eat if she's laying down without being held, when she's tired she wont let anyone rock her to sleep or even cuddle her-she screams until she gets put in her cot... im craving closeness from her in a such a big way i feel so hurt and feel like she doesnt love me.

I would just like to wish you luck, I gave up feeding my DS too early and regretted it.

If you are trying to relactate, and also need some cuddles and closeness from bub try wearing bubs in a sling. If you get a wrap style sling you can even go topless underneath it (but remember to put on a top b4 going out LOL) and the skin to skin contact will help with the relactating and give you both some nice cuddles. Wearing your baby will really give your lactating hormones a bit of a boost.

Some good info here www.askdrsears.com (http://www.askdrsears.com)

Again, good luck, :hugs: and :fingerscrossed: for you.

[cmd'smum]

Hey Cand, don't have any advice apart from what has already been said, except you can do it!!:thumbsup: :yes: keep us posted!
Oh and def give those cookies a try, they are YUMMO!!!!!!!!:D and I swear you feel your boobs tingle right after having one!:wizard:

Good luck! :babydust2::babydust2:

[lollydove]

oooh thanks again everyone for your advice and support :hugs: its really making me feel like i can do it now.

only thing is, im pretty much ALL dried up, when i hand express i only get a drop at most from each side, is it still going to be only a couple of weeks to get my milk back? should i get meds from the dr? does anyone know if i my milk will still be quality if its medically induced? so many questions sorry everyone.

good news is i tried latching her on again this morning when she was in bed with me and she did have a suckle again but only for about 5 seconds. still, it makes me think she will come back to me no problems if the milk is there because at least she wants to latch on

[naiwen]

Okay,
There is almost always more milk in your breast than what you can express, *bossy tone of voice* put you baby to the breast at her next feed, do it!
She is going to be able get more out than you ever could by hand.
The quality of your milk should not be affected by the medication, the meds only work in conjunction with lots of breast stimulation though so do not rely on them alone.
I could only express a few drops when I relactated so yep I would say a couple of weeks but obviously every woman is different.
The meds are prescription only so obviously you need to chat to your GP before taking them.
It's great that she is latching on, I would also advise using a newborn teat on her bottle so that she is not too impatient when you put her too the breast.
Good luck!

[naiwen]

Hey AYM,
As my bub was prem I expressed for him for 10 weeks until he was old enough to sucl well and then breast fed for another month. I then stopped and introduced formula as everyone was telling me to for his weight gain. A month later I started relactating as I realised that formula was not making any difference to his weight gain and I wanted the health benefits for him as he has a suppressed immune system.
Give her father a smack from me, how dare he say that to you!
I managed to relactate using a supply line, lots and lots and lots of skin to skin time in bed and almost constant access to the breast. I also took domperidome which was prescribed to me by my GP. It took me about 2 weeks to get to a point where I was able to fully breastfeed again.
I called the ABA helpline quite a bit in that time and the were very helpfull and really encouraged me to persist.
I stopped breastfeeding again after a month unfortunalty as DS contracted pnuemonia again and had to go back on IV fluids and then NG tube feeds. However Aisha sounds like a very healthy bub so I am sure you would not have these issues! My DS has special needs so we are in and out of hospy with him with just makes everything a bit more complicated.
But if I can do it then anyone can, feel free to ask any other questions you might have.

[naiwen]

I think it is worth a try especially if you can get some out, have you tried Aisha at the breast and seen if she is willing to suckle?
If she seems interested then the next step would probably be to make a plan, call the ABA. Get a supply line and some meds etc.
Give her a booby cuddle and see what she does lol.

[lollydove]

AYM mine is exactly the same, looks like colostrum the one drop that does come out. Like someone mentioned even mothers that have NEVER bf or even given birth can still produce milk with persistence and the correct techniques so WE CAN DEFINATELY DO IT- AND WE'LL CRY TOGETHER WITH HAPPINESS :smiliedance:

I have just been continuing to hand express every couple of hours even though i still only get a drop each time, and have tried to latch on dd quite a few times today but she's only latched on this morning so ill keep trying when we're laying together and she's relaxed. ive also been giving her lots of skin to skin massages with her laying on my tummy or across my legs, she usually doesnt let me cuddle her much but after the massage she was so relaxed and cuddly i was so so happy.

If you are going to start trying start today with me and we can support each other through it... just an idea? we can always pm each other or I have msn if you do, and help each other through it. I know it sounds so tough and like a lot of hard work and even too good to be true but its worth a try right? Nothing to lose if it doesnt work but we get to enjoy the benefits of lots of close contact anyway.

Thanks again everyone. Naiwen im sorry to hear about your ds, what a little fighter he is! Do you mind if I ask how early he was born? Thanks so much for all your help :hugs:

[naiwen]

Hey Lollydove and AYM,
Lollydove that sounds great what you have been doing. The skin to skin time and hand expressing is hopefully raising your prolactin levels as we speak.
DS was 10 weeks premature and was also IUGR so very small!
AYM I can understand why you feel weird but don't. Breastfeeding is so natural and she will probably enjoy the closeness to you.
Try to be relaxed when you put her on there and maybe express a drop or to onto your nipple so she can smell and taste it. If she is not interested you can always try again later.
Keep me in the loop ladies PM me anytime with updates or questions.
All this chat is making me want to relactate but DS is probably getting a NG tube next week so there might not be much point!

[NerdyMumma]

http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/

All the info you need is here, including how to contact a counsellor, just click the link at the top of the page.

[lollydove]

Oh AYM :hugs: sorry you had such a hard time i the beginning. im no expert with this but from what ive read the best time to try and attach is when you're are both really relaxed and even having skin to skin cuddles, like in bed in the mornings etc. even jayda will sometimes attach and sometimes not, but ive only been trying since yesterday. sometimes she will scream her little head off and go absolutely mental so i dont try and force it because that just makes her feel that its a negative experience. this morning she attached for about 10 secs so a little bit of progress, but during the day she screams and will only attach in my bed in the mornings so far. also just because she didnt attach the first time doesnt mean she wont all the time, so if you feel that you really want to give this a go maybe try after you've had some close cuddles and she's nice and relaxed? if you do decide you still want to try pm me your email addy and ill forward you some info from a friend that was really helpful (thanks tj!).

dont get yourself down whatever your decision huni, sounds like she's is a very happy healthy little girl and you seem to love her very much :yes:

i got some meds today (peridome) to increase my supply, the pharmicist said it should be back within 3 days, a week at most. im also going to make the cookies tomorrow and have been continuing to hand express just a few times a day but still only get one drop max. this is only my second day though of deciding to relactate so i have high hopes with these meds when my milk comes in. cant wait until friday to see if my milk is back :smiliedance: (please lord dont let it feel like the day 3 post birth milk coming in!!!)

[lollydove]

just an update... i got my meds and my milk is back, it came back within 2-3 days but dd wont go ANYWHERE near them now that i have my milk :( she wont even latch on for a few secs like she was before

SO my next step is that im going to call ABA tomorrow and hire an electric breast pump and see if she'll drink my milk from a bottle. If so then at least i still have hope because at least its not the milk itself she is rejecting. A supply line is not an option because i already have the milk but she just doesnt like to be held so close when feeding. I could try a breast shield but agian i first need to see if she'll take the milk and try and get her used to letting me hold her close. Im really really putting all my hope in her drinking my milk from a bottle for a week or so or however long it takes her to get used to it again and then she will hopefully be happy by then to take it straight from the source :fingerscrossed:

[cmd'smum]

Wow, Candy, you're doing soooo well already! Step at a time hun, you will get there, you're so determined! :yes: Your lil princess will be a booby monster in no time!:yes::biggrin:

[Jodiee]

Wow, AYM and Candy

You girls are an inspiration! Well done for trying.

I relactated after 2 months with my last DD and it was very, very hard, although I still had some milk, I have never with all my pregnancies lost my milk for a long time after stopping bfing

I started by giving her the nipple during the night as a dummy, if you know what I mean, and continued the bottle at day, this was the only way I could get her to feed anything, if she was getting anything much at all, but it made me happy that she was feeding some from me.

I never did get to feed during the day hours, but the nights were great.

Keep up the hard work ladies, its great to relactate, I was so proud of myself!!

[lollydove]

Jodiee YOU are an inspiration :yes: thats so great that you could do it after 2 months and stuck in there even though it was hard work. i envy you so much that you could get your bub to use you for comfort at night, i wish my dd would do the same. she used to LOVE boobies but like ive said before its my own fault she doesnt anymore i just hope i can make it up to her. did your bub take to you at night quite easily or were there certain things you had to do to get her used to latching on again?

cmd's mum thanks so much hun, you're such a great support :hugs:

[dragonflyblu]

i just read this thread. well done! BFing is hard work to establish without the complication of relactating.

aym aisha is at the age where even established bf bubs get fussy and cry. dont let this put you off. you need to get into the midspace that trusts your body. your body can relactate and aisha does know what to do. :thumbsup:dont worry about confusing her. i would strongly recommend you go to an aba meeting our have contact with women who are bfing.

I also wanted to stress the expressing point. I have been bfig for 11 months and can only express a quick spray! I have never been able to express and my bubs is almost excusively BF since her solids intake is so small.

lollydove :yelclap: for getting your milk back. and for the cuddles make sure you use that sling. it does feel tight but you get used to it.

:hugs: to both of you.

[reAllytee]

Oh Candyy ( & AYM ! ) you are a legend !

Im still currently trying to increase our feeds with little success but i will keep plodding along. Im happy that at least he gets the 1 - 3 b/f a day which is better than nothing ! So if you need to express so be it !

Well done you guys :hugs: