close to the edge!!!

[babyniamh]

hi all..
i was wondering if i could get some feedback from mommies that split with there partners after they had kids.....
i cant take it anymore.. i know im not well but im sure that he makes me worse..
i dont go anywhere cos he cant be trusted with my little girl.. and if he wasnt here i could ask my mam to babysit every so often.. at the mo if i ask her it ends up in a row, cos he cant understand why i dont want him to be the only one here with her..
im close to the edge and hes gonna tip me over... too many upsets to even begin to talk about...i pay bills.. hes smokes weed.. la la la sick of talking bout it...:ecomcity::ecomcity:
im only here because of the child i think cos if i didnt have her im sure id have dumped him along time ago..
i worried what all yer veiws on the effects it'll have on my baby in years to come.. or if any of ye have left partners.. or any ideas on how to get him to change...
i cant do it anymore, i'll end up in a mental home if things dont change soon..
i can feel im about to boil over..
im also worried that if i leave he'll bring me to court for custody of my baby and say that im not stable enough to cope with her.. i know i am, but im afraid the tablets im on for pnd will give him a good case..:(:hissy:

[Ms Panda]

Hello, I have never been in your position so I can't give you any advice unfortunately. But my heart really goes out to you.:hugs:

It must be such a scary decision to have to make on so many different levels. Perhaps you could see a counselor, or make an anonymous call to a maternal health service?

I'm sorry I can't be any more help than that but I really hope you can sort it out without too much trouble.

A

[samken]

Can you go to your mums? Also I wouldn't worry about him being able to take your baby as smoking weed is considered pretty wrong (legally as well).

Since you feel very unstable I would recommend you get out, go to your mums or friends or somewhere and take a break. Sadly you probably aren't in the position to make a sane decision while you feel like this so you need huge support. I'm basing this argument on your lack of trust, a big sign of paranoia.

The first step to improve things is to ask for help or accept help when offered.

Good luck.

[babyniamh]

hi all and thank you for your support...
I'm basing this argument on your lack of trust, a big sign of paranoia

not sure what this is referin to.. i have a lack of trust of daddy minding his baby on his own as he drinks and smokes the second im not around and i dont think he is in as much control as he thinks he is...i dont want my girl being minded by someone who's clearly not able to mind her..
i realise that smokin weed is illegal, but that would be my word against his, i guess that was part of my question.. is my word still 100% in the eyes of the court or am i classed as insane..(as he has told me that my prescription proves that im not stable..)
i suffer pnd in the form of not being able to have fun without my little girl, cos i feel guilty that im not there for her 24/7... i feel guilty when i eat choc, or anyfood really, on front of her as i cant share it with her and i feel mean.. i know those feelings r irrational but i cant help them..
i feel that there is a preconceived public idea of what pnd is..:thumbsdown:.
any advice on my situation would be great...

[mama kare]

hello again :)

i agree with what samken has said.

firstly, being on anti-depressants is something we worry about telling others (let alone the justice system) as they may think we are unstable. If things came to the worst and he took you to court, I'm sure you could ask your doctor to speak on your behalf so she can varify you are well mentally and are able to care for your child on your own. that against the pot-smoking ex is sure to stand up well in court im sure.

what i did when i felt like i was ready to leave, was i lived with my mum and dad for 2-3 months as a trial, to see if i could really live without him in my life. i had my daughter every second week and then he would have her for a week ect..

things were going well, so i then trialled living out with another single mama in brisbane, though the house was exctremely expensive and our children fought quite a lot.. in which to say, i am now living back with my ex

BUT i can safely say that the last 6 months of living away from him have ensured that i am deffinately over him. i have no feeling for him other than him being the father of DD (he feels like an old aquaintance more than anything) and we got along better for it.

but i think living apart for that 6 months or so was what really helped me.. I got over seeing him in the 'love' light and now i see him in a totally new one, where i still care for him for my DDs sake but that is all.

And it feels great!