A bit embarrasing but....

[Jaileth]

DH and I were trying to be intimate the other day, and OMG!!! Ow! It felt like I was ging to tear. Please please please, any suggestions?

[melfunction]

Have you had your 6 week check-up?

[Jaileth]

Yep. I had stitches - but the doc didn't even check them. She said that if we were ready to, to go ahead though :confused:

[Elfin]

I think you need more time to heal internally. DH won't like this, but you probably need to wait awhile especially if you are having lots of pain. Get the Doctor to check you if you haven't had your 6 week check yet.

[melfunction]

Hate to tell you, but I tore ALL the way and couldn't even attempt it for 5 months...very painful.

Have you tried KY?

[Jaileth]

:eek: 5 months???!!! Nooo! I want to just as much as DH, and am finding it very frustrating. We're going to try the KY next time ;)

[melfunction]

If you find a 5L tub, let me know :p

[elissas]

Hey there,

You definitely need KY!! And the first few times, don't try full penetration (sorry if tmi). Each time, just go a little deeper. DH will need to be patient with it.

Also, the key is to relax. Even if you tense up just a tiny bit, it'll make it really hard to do. So keep breathing deeply, tell him to nudge in a little more every time you breathe out (coz that's when we're most relaxed). Also, maintain eye contact with him and smile - you'll feel better and more relaxed, and then he'll know straight away if there's any discomfort.

We were back at it after 3 weeks :smiliedance: and it's just like it was before I was pg :yelclap:

Good luck.

[Jaileth]

a 5L tub would come in quite handy! :D

elissas - how did you find the time??! Nah, don't answer that :) Thanks for the tips though

[elissas]

Hehe - I give DS a knockout boobie, wait a few minutes to make sure he's completely out of it, leave his bassinette in the hallway, then make a dash for the bedroom... :fingerscrossed:

[Jaileth]

lol! We've tried that, but bubs seems to have a sense for when we want him to sleep - and that's when he doesn't! :rolleyes: :)

[elissas]

So true! That's my other trick - try not to think about him for just that time. I know it's hard, well, it's nearly impossible, but the energy/psychic connection between the two of you is super strong, and he can sense when you're thinking about them and worried that they'll wake up.

And of course that's when they do...

So I try and block him out and focus on us (me and DH), which is really what it's all about anyway. It's a good thing to practice. It doesn't mean you're not there for him if he does wake, of course you will be. And you're not dismissing the connection or breaking it. But it means that until he actually expresses a need, then you can also be your own person and look after your own needs.

Which, in the grand scheme, is better for him anyway - have an independent mother who has a strong sense of self, and knows how to give priority to her own needs sets a great example for him and for his future relationships.

Just my thoughts, but they pick up on so much even at this young age, and a strong and true connection doesn't mean being bound to each other.

Wow I really went off the topic huh?

[Jaileth]

Maybe, but it makes sense.

Will have to start practicing that. Thanks, elissas! :)

[reAllytee]

Yeah i tore badly so had lotsa stitches so it took me about 4mths to get back to it :o
But you need lots of patience & K.Y LOL :laughing:
Good luck hun wooohoooo :p :smiliedance: