View Full Version : My first visit
I have the home-birth midwife coming this morning. I am anxious as anything, thank god for bach flower remedy lol.
I have no idea what this meeting entails but rather hoping it's not going to be one of "well I am doing this"
I am praying for a happy visit please god!!!
Anything you think I should ask? Or demand apart from.
There is no negation on this I am having the baby at home :D
reAllytee
29-11-2007, 20:13
Wooohoooo !
How exciting :smiliedance:
I wouldnt be too stressed about the first few visits cause you just want to get to know each other to feel comfy etc. Then i would start working on the nitty gritty in regards to what you want, your birth plan etc.
Let us know how it goes !!!!!
Natalie02
29-11-2007, 22:44
Oh how exciting! How did it go?
I too have my first midwife appointment on Monday, just finished getting DH to agree to look into a homebirth for this baby. I can't wait to get all the information and work out what my next step is.
Natalie
I can't wait to hear how it went.
Ashleigh<3
29-11-2007, 22:57
Very excited for you Nat, I hope it all goes smoothly. :kiss:
I hope it went well...so exciting!!
You sounded really stressed in your post...why is that?
Meeting your mw is NOT supposed to be stressful!! :)
sirhokko
30-11-2007, 07:41
How did it go?
How did you go darl???
its not suppose to be stressful meeting your midwife - i hope you love her to bits and are completely relaxed now :hugs:
Hi,
Well she never came and it was a good thing, Eliza swallowed a coin and choked and I ended up calling an ambulance and spending a good 12 hours in hospital. She had to go under a general and have it removed it was stuck in her throat. I had a horrific day, it's now 2.30am here I have hardly slept keep having visions of her choking and the gagging and her going under I am pretty woah and stressed by it I have really never been so scared in my life.
Still I will be ringing the unit today and asking where the hell she was and why she didn't come noe wondering if they just said they would send someone out and didn't ugh we shall see.
We were took to the same hospital that the midwife was suppose to come from, two of the registrars were telling me what a nightmare the hospital was..great lol I begged to be discharged 4 times after 4 hours after Eliza had the coin removed as she was fine screaming around the ward with toys buses and yelling about the book she was reading. I ended up getting my DH to come in and tell them we're leaving goodbye...that worked :D
gosh this really has nothing to do with homebirth does it!
Still I am very tempted to say **** it and never enter the hospital again or deal with them, but I want to find out why she never came!
oh...my...god.
I was NOT expecting to read that.
I hope Eliza is okay, you poor thing Nat, you poor thing, I wish you still lived here.
the_queen
30-11-2007, 12:47
oh no!!!! Oh poor gorgeous Eliza, glad she is ok and what a krappy experience for you both to go through :hugs:
Shed it is not something I ever expected to write about. I am so bloody vigilant about coins, I had a wooden cup on the desk here and it had an Aussie 5C coin in it and she had taken the cup and was pretending to feed her dolly I and I totally forgot about the coin. I then took her to change her nappy and saw her put her hand to her mouth and saw the coin halfway between her lips and tongue I sat her up and bam it was gone and she was choking horrible it was truly terrifying I can't believe how calm I remained a DR came to see me to ask if I thought I was in shock as I was so calm and collected lol I was like trust me I am a freaking mess inside but I don't want Eliza to know!
Eliza seemed fine once the general fully wore off she is a bit croaky and is very proud of her coin and all the stickers on her hand IE band-aids.
The reason I was nervous about the midwife visit is because it's not like meeting the middy who will be my midwife it's meeting the community midwife whom I have to explain I want a HBAC they still have an option to say sorry we can't support you in that. I was rather hoping it wouldn't be a meeting like that...ah well never know now!
Funkychicken
30-11-2007, 13:08
Oh, Nat, what an awful experience for you and Eliza! How terrifying!
I'm glad she is recovering well. Time for a cup of tea by the sounds of it!
It was very FC
Cup of tea god dammit if I weren't pregnant I would have a very, very stiff drink, alas I am drinking a bottle of water lol
:eek:
You poor things! :hugs:
Freaking Australian money. Not good for anything at all! :p
the_queen
30-11-2007, 14:39
Too true Beanster - 5c won't even buy a chocolate frog anymore :thumbsdown:
reAllytee
30-11-2007, 14:46
Oh bl**dy hell Nat :hugs:
Like Shed i was expecting to read that !!!!!
So so glad all is ok .... **** hey !
And shame on that midwife for not even calling to say she wouldnt be able to make it :shame:
have you heard anything from the middie yet Nat?
and holy **** about Eliza!!! Sending you both major :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
OMG!! What a truly awful day! Hugs to all of you:hugs:
I hope your mw turns up soon, and it is a very productive meeting. Don't leave the mw under any illusions as to who is making the decisions about this birth (you!) Be assertive!! :)
Ashleigh<3
30-11-2007, 18:17
You're a wonderful Mum Nat, thank goodness Eliza is okay.
:hugs:
:eek:
You poor things! :hugs:
Freaking Australian money. Not good for anything at all! :p
I know, going to write to Rudd to say make em bigger they did that in NZ!!
I had a kiwi anesthetist
No I heard nothing Kate will ring this morning!
What a terrible ordeal! I am glad that Eliza is okay - hope you recover soon! (In my experience mother take days longer than their children to recover when their children are hurt!)
And good luck chasing the midwife to get an appointment!
T I agree I had a horrible night couldn't sleep had flashbacks of her choking and the utter feeling of helpless-ness is that even a word lol and a couldn't stop crying....Ugh!
I spoke to my midwife she left a card saying she came. I am excited to meet her she sounds really nice and she will come on Tuesday. I shall keep all coins out of the way until then :D
we have a new rule in the house notes only :laughing:
sirhokko
30-11-2007, 22:08
The reason I was nervous about the midwife visit is because it's not like meeting the middy who will be my midwife it's meeting the community midwife whom I have to explain I want a HBAC they still have an option to say sorry we can't support you in that. I was rather hoping it wouldn't be a meeting like that...ah well never know now!
Pixie, they can't say they won't support you. read the NMC circular it is your right in the UK to have a homebirth regardless to risk. If you don't get the answers you want ring the local supervisor of midwives they have to find you a midwife to support you. Put it is writing also. If you have difficulty I would help you sort it.
I am an Independent in Australia but worked in the uk for 15 years before coming here. ( I'm Welsh)
Oh really, well that's good to know I thought they had a right to refuse, but if you wrote to the supervisor that had to provide.
I am sure I will find your help and advice invaluable and be nagging you!
Thanks very much for the comment :)
Hey Pixie - Hope your appt on Tuesday goes well. Poor Eliza!!! That's so scary. My twin sister did that same trick years ago with a 2cent piece, luckily it just went straight down and she was very surprised to see her 2c piece the next day when she went to the toilet!! Haha, we always pay her out about that.
Haha, we always pay her out about that.
Pay her out!! Geddit? :laughing:
yeah lol I said to the paramedics when they arrived so be honest how many jokes did you crack to one another huh....she said actually only one, and it was wonder if we'll get any change! 325 views wow people get a life lol really I am not that exciting ask shed lol
yeah 325 views wow people get a life lol really I am not that exciting ask shed lol
Confirmed. :yes: She's not :no:
No really.:laughing:
:hair:agh:hair:
She is sick today and will come Friday OMG
ugh :hissy:
Still I guess it give me more time to say why I want one and how I want it
:hair::hair::hair:
Pixie, gosh she is keeping you in suspense hey, hopefully she does what you want seeing as you are waiting so long to see her! lol
And Shed, hehe i only just got it! You are so funny!
And i like that comment, wonder if we'll get any change! Not so funny, but in a few years time will be a pretty funny tale for little Eliza.
so today is the day I am now waiting for her to come again, all coins are gone and hopefully she is better lol
:fingerscrossed: for a positive visit!
I should not of posted that.....she is still sick OMFG apparently, allegedly she will come Monday.
:hair::hair::crying::hissy:
Noah_and_Elijah
07-12-2007, 19:42
You might be freebirthing before too much longer!! :hair:
Oh my goodness! She sure better be worth it huh?
reAllytee
07-12-2007, 21:34
Oh Nat ring the bloomin place & ask for someone else !
I know its not her fault she is sick but i hope for her sake she is top notch !
Oh trust me Ally when they rang and told me I did lose it, I usually pretty polite on the phone, but I said this is ridiculous and I am a very busy person, not sitting around every day hoping a midwife will visit, and why couldn't they send anyone at all. All other midwifes were at births and there wasn't any one else....makes me wonder what will happen when I do go into labour :rolleyes:
She better bloody come Monday & she better be nice lol
sirhokko
08-12-2007, 18:38
Oh trust me Ally when they rang and told me I did lose it, I usually pretty polite on the phone, but I said this is ridiculous and I am a very busy person, not sitting around every day hoping a midwife will visit, and why couldn't they send anyone at all. All other midwifes were at births and there wasn't any one else....makes me wonder what will happen when I do go into labour :rolleyes:
She better bloody come Monday & she better be nice lol
your poor thing. when are you due. I'm in England in june and I have a british licence to practice midwifery. I'd help you out and I only charge 2800 dollars which is less than 1500 pounds.
Love and hoping your midwife is fantastic on monday.
Lisa Barrett
I am due in May Lisa...I don't think I'll make it to June lol well you never know!
Oh BTW what happens at the first community midwife visit?
sirhokko
08-12-2007, 18:52
I am due in May Lisa...I don't think I'll make it to June lol well you never know!
Oh BTW what happens at the first community midwife visit?
Oh I'll be in London from the 26th May. I think they just look at your history and try and put you off birth..
Me I just love women up loads so they want to book me for birth.
I would love to pop in and see you when I'm home even if you've had your baby. feel like I know you well.
Love Lisa
Wow, what a lovely offer from Lisa :D How nice of you! You are due the 21st aren't you Pixie?
Also did you ever get to see the midwife?
Thanks Lisa :) I will also get to your PM I am a little behind.
Vee yes I met the mid-husband, he was very discouraging as Lisa predicted.
It was very long winded, I totally stood my ground though.
I have now got AIMS involved for more info on them Google AIMS, I have written to my local MP the prime minister (loser), the head of midwifery at the hospital and the chief exec as well. Not only to mention the "information" the midwife told me but also to tell them to provide me the care I am entitled to.
Utterly horrifying the **** these "midwifes" tell you about VBAC's in general even in a hospital environment and then HBAC oh come on you will die you do know what don't you.
Anyway that's the go on my situation I am not one to sit back when I don't get my own way first up, silly mid-husband didn't realise who he dealt with.
Even my DH is impressed. I asked him to print off the letter to Gordon Brown today (at his work no printer at home) his eyes nearly fell out of his head! He was like....So when will you be a local MP babe. Can't remember a day where he has told me he loves me so much. :goodvibes:
The homebirth community here in the UK are following me I think, ringing the editor of AIMS today to make my story aware and how it can be done.
Go ME!!!!
YAY Pixie!! Glad you were prepared really to have to argue your case, that's just not good enough and i know you will get your way!! Sending all my positive thoughts to you and to get something happening over there so others can be able to access the same service under similar conditions. That's so sweet of your DH too, excellent having a supporter in your corner! :yelclap:
Oh yes he is right behind me always is on anything I want bad enough! He knows HB is the way to go. He's even started looking for things to help comfort me in labour and is showing me techniques on the ball which will help me...he's going to be great.
How are your plans going? oh might head to the other thread lol
Oh how frustrating for you nat! Good thing that you are determined and have your DH's support... it should have to be that way though :no:
Nat, what's the deal with freebirthing over there? Perhaps if they keep kicking up stinks, you should just do that while enlisting the help of some knowledgable others - doulas and such.
And good on you for fighting The Man. And The Woman. And all the rest of The B@stards.
:D :thumbsup: :yelclap:
Beany if I were to freebirth I would be totally alone, no doula will come. I am tempted to just do it DH's mum did it with him and his sister and her mother freebirthed 7 kids so she would be helpful. But I really don't think I would be comfortable with the idea. Also like AIMS told me I don't need nor should have to do it alone. So of course I will fight tooth and nail to get my entitlements.
DH is right into the freebirthing thing, he is even trying to get me to do the lotus birth bit, not something I am keen on, he is very keen on it however lol I told him to make a pretty bag then..he's good at sewing lol
Ah well at the end of pregnancy the baby will come out what ever the circumstance I am in so I am not to worried :cloud9:
Your hubby sounds so funny Pixie, making a bag for the lotus birth, that's so cool! I actually wasn't really into the idea but after reading 'gentle birth gentle mothering' it does actually sound quite nice. But yeah each to their own. :p
And yeah i'd be sooo tempted to freebirth too if i was in that situation, but you are right you have rights to access the service and they should provide it. :thumbsup:
I saw a picture somewhere I forget where they had a bag for the placenta, I dunno I didn't realise what I was looking at I thought it would be dried up and red it was all white then I realised it was covered in maggots...God I feel VERY :barf::barf: thinking about it and I just can't get that vision out of my head So um yeah I know they can't all be that nasty but of course it would be for me lol so um ya I am not doing it pretty bag or not.
I sent my letters off so I guess I will just have to wait now.
How exciting and nerve racking!
sirhokko
17-12-2007, 07:01
why don't you talk to an independent midwife in your area?
Lisa B
Because Lisa they all cost around £4000 and I am not prepared to spend that kind of money on one. I rang about 10 IM's and they all were around that so it's just not possible. And I have a right to a public service of which my husbands taxes have paid for!!
So
The head of midwifes rang me yesterday to say she had received my letter and of course I could have the homebirth I wanted, although she was a little confused as to why I wrote to her and didn't just go along with the normal routine.
I explained it to her.
MW Oh right she said "well we as midwifes have to talk to the consultants and we shall make you a appt to see one to they will talk you through things"
ME I had an appt with a consultant and I canceled it. As I have nothing to discuss. I am homebirthing and all I need is a competent supportive midwife, I am well aware of risk and I have done my research.
MW ohhhh arrrr right, um well we still have to speak to them and um yes HBAC are of course possible and um sure you can have one and it will be wonderful.
ME Great thank you very much.
There was a whole load of other boring talk as well. But I think she realised I was a pointless one lol and she agreed to it all. I am sure I will get another call at some point about seeing a consultant whom I will still refuse to see. (wheres the point) and I think I might change the midhusband..purely based on the fact he lied to me about my rights and the truth. So I need someone who is not like that. And after thinking about it I am really not that comfortable with him being male, I really am not I felt really awkward when he listened to the baby's HB and felt around it just felt wrong.
So I am winning slowly :goodvibes:
sirhokko
19-12-2007, 22:08
:smiliedance:excellent work pixie. Now it's in writing you are in a strong position. Informing the supervisor is a great thing to do.
love lisa
After a day of bitterly cold winds, wandering the streets of Mayfair seeing how the other people live :D I returned home to a fine looking envelope from 10 Downing ST....oh nice
My letter was from Gordon Browns Sectary who tells me he has read my home-birth letter and my thoughts on the medical system in the UK...Gordon Brown has requested my letter be send to the department of health where they will address my points of concern and reply to me.
Yeah now lets see if the latter actually happens...and seriously he read my letter I doubt it lol
Nice paper though :D
ETA
I also rang to change my midwife but the person who answered the phone was the midwife I don't want lol so it was kinda awkward to say that to "him" so will try again in the week he said on the phone to me" oh they are "allowing you to home-birth, your the EMCS PPH woman" ....:rolleyes::mad: yeah that's me"....Can you see why I don't want him in my home! And I am still not sure if he is actually a HE lol
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