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Sharelle
03-03-2006, 11:15
Ok where do I start...
My Mum has had an chronic dieseise (sp) for about 12 years and it is getting worse. She has Lupus which affect the bodies auto-immune system and from what I understand the body basically attacks itself inside iykwim.
Last year in September she was put into hospital to have a blood transfusion and an iron transfusion and ended up in ICU for 2 weeks on a ventalator. Her partner of 18 years rang mr crying telling me to come down (they are in Victoria and I am in Queensland) which I did and I stayed for about 2 weeks. She came home from hospital and was sort of plodding along ok then in November her partner had to go to NZ (he is from there) to see his son.
After 4 days or so he stopped ringing Mum and when she rang his mobile it was constantly switched off. She found out that he had met a woman over there and was having an affair:mad: . He came home and told Mum that he was in love with this other woman (that he had known for a week) and that he wanted to move back to NZ to be with her. blah blah blah.
Anywho cut an extremley long story short:rolleyes: She moved from Shepparton to Mildura cause she had a friend who lived there since she has been there here illness has gotten progressivey worse, she has been in hospital 3 times in the last month all for like a week at a time and she is so depressed. She told me last week that she feels so sick and so dowm that she had been taking sleeping pills of a day to knock herself out because she just can't face the world anymore. I told her she cannot do this to herself and to get to the doctor and get some anti-deppresants which she has done.
Get a phone call this morning from her friend saying Mum is back in hospital her blood pressure is 215 over something? So I rang her and she sounded so sad and so sick and so sick of herself. I think I should fly down there but while it would maybe cheer her up whlie I am there it wouldn't actually do anything for her in the longterm. I just looked up interflora to see about sending her some flowers but that is sooo expensive.
Just feel stuck and don't know what to do and I am so worried and anxious all the time for her. There is heaps more I could say but I've dribbled on enough.:ecomcity: Thankyou for reading this I think I just needed to get it off my chest.

rockabye
03-03-2006, 11:25
Hi Sharelle,

I am so sorry that you mum is not well and you have so much worry for her. You sound like a really good daughter.

I don't have any advice, but there are plenty of great people on here that might be able to help you out.

Would it make it easier if your mum moved up closer to you, is that something you want?. Is this something she might consider?

anyway, I hope things improve for you.

Jo

rynosmum
03-03-2006, 12:25
Hi Sharelle,

My Dad has chronic illness as well which links to depression.

She's been through so much with her illness let alone her partner leaving. If I were you I'd get straight down there. She is probably scared and feeling very alone, it may be surprising what your visit will do to her spirits.

I rushed back from the US last year when my Dad was taken into major surgery. I was the first person he saw when he woke up after he'd been in a coma for 2 days - he's never forgotten that.

Best of luck.

LittleBoysRock
03-03-2006, 13:30
I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you.

It must be such hard time. I really hope you can spend sometime with your Mum really soon.

Sharelle
03-03-2006, 22:54
I would love for her to move up here with us but we are renting a three bedroom house and our lease doesn't finish until november.The cost of rent up here is so high she would not be able to get a place by herselfas she is only on a pension.
I guess I'm worried that If I do go and see her that when I come back home she will sadder than she does now. And the cost of flying down, hiring a car and taking time off work would really set us back. That may sound heartless to some, but I guess I am trying to weigh things up in my mind.
Her friend rang me just as I was about to go to work this arvo and said she thinks I should come but she has umm something that you take lithium for??? And she has not been on her meds for a couple of weeks so Im not sure how much notice I should take of her.

Mother Duck
03-03-2006, 23:15
Sharelle - I am fairly familiar with Lupus

My Great Aunty had it - in fact she was one of the first ones diagnosed with it over in England. We lost her in Nov 04 but she was quite old by then.

She suffered a long time with it and went well past what she was told she would. When I was 20 I went and lived with her for a few months to help her - nursing her sort of

Also my MIL has it - so obviously as I say I am fairly familiar with it.

There are alot of aspects to Lupus but one thing I can say is that alot of it has to do with mindset - no I AM NOT saying it is in the mind - not the case at all - I AM saying that the way you approach it mentally will affect the attacks that you have.

Also the medication that you are given for Lupus can be more damaging than the illness itself.

It is well worth your reading up on it as much as you possibly can because with this information you can help your mum the most

Another thing for you to note - and this may sound really trivial but take it or leave it! - MIL switched to goats milk only some time ago after hearing this tip somewhere - OMG the difference that this made to her health was unbelievable!

See if you can convince your mum to try that for a good few months - and I'm talking no other type of milk

Good luck - if you ever want to pm me feel free :hugs:

Tam-I-Am
24-03-2006, 23:16
Hi Sharelle,

I know this thread was started a while ago, so I hope your mum is feeling a bit better. Just to let you know - Lithium is a mood stabiliser, often taken by people who have bi-polar disorder. I don't know of any other uses for it (i'm not a doctor tho, I'm a psychologist), but people with bipolar who are prescribed it have manic episodes - extreme highs that require medical/psychiatric treatment. If you're mum's friend is on lithium for bipolar, then she still knows what she's talking about - she just might have manic episodes every now and then - if that's what she's on it for!!

Hope everything works out for you and your mum - I'll be thinking of you.
Tami