PDA

View Full Version : Vent about DP working away again. Advice?



miraclebaby
20-11-2007, 21:03
I am really angry, depressed and lonely at the moment. My partner's work means he goes away fairly often. We have a 10 month old son and he was away OS for 4 months recently, came home for 2 weeks and is now away again. DS hardly knows him.
I dealt with DP being away for 4 months but stupidly assumed that he would be around for a while before going away again. 2 weeks later he told me he had to go intrastate. He doesn't. There was work here but because some bloke stroked his ego and said he was really good at what he does and the money was good, better than here, he decided to go. Thing is, we don't need the money at the moment. He could quite easily sit on his butt for the next 3 months and we would still be okay. But money is GOD to him and will always come before everything else, including his own child.
I'm p****** off with him, hardly feel like talking to him when he calls, feel disconnected to him, and incredibly lonely, as though I am a single mother. I have friends and family here but it's not the same as having a partner there to share the daily joys and worries of raising a child. Also, all my friends & family are female so I feel like DS is missing out on having a man in his life. Don't get me wrong, I am soooooooo not interested in finding another man but I do wish there was more of a male influence in DS life.
Also, we are booked to go interstate at Christmas to see DP's family and I am so p***** off at that because DP will be home one day and we will have to jump on a plane the next where DS will be surrounded by virtual strangers, including his own Dad and that will be really unsettling for him.
What makes me angrier is that DP says he wants to show DS off to his family! I understand that but jeez, if he actually saw his own son a bit more often then he would earn the right to show off!
On top of all this I am just realising how lonely I am. I was usually ok with DP going away but somehow having a child makes it lonelier. I am feeling really down about it all.
Anyway, just wanted to vent a bit and if anyone has any advice on how to deal with it emotionally I would like to hear it.

kewlchicmum
20-11-2007, 21:34
:hugs: to you darls sounds like you need it. I know it can be tough having DH working away and I know money is not every thing. Have you tried telling him how you feel? Some times I think and feel like I am all alone esp when things are bumpy with us and we have been having a tough time :hugs: well I am on here most of the time so if you ever want to vent or chat pm me......:ecomcity:

miss b
20-11-2007, 21:49
miraclebaby I absolutly feel for you and to be going through this over the holidays is horrible, it's a time to be with family and the people that you love. I think you need to sit DH down and lay it on the line for him. Explain to him how you feel. That instead of feeling like a family, you feel like a single mum. Show him what he is missing out on, take out pictures of you with your little boy and ask him why his not in any of them ( if that applies).

I hope all goes well for you and your little man..and the big one:hugs:

miraclebaby
21-11-2007, 08:51
Thanks for your support ladies. I have tried talking to him about it. He just says he won't be doing this job forever and he's working for our future. It's all just excuses. I've told him that by the time he's ready to be a family his son may not want much to do with him. I also said that he knew it was wrong and he agreed but still went.
Not much of what I say makes a difference to him. His whole family is money orientated and I don't think he will change.
Just need to find some way to make myself feel better. Feel a little better just for being able to vent anyway. Thanks again.