miraclebaby
20-11-2007, 21:03
I am really angry, depressed and lonely at the moment. My partner's work means he goes away fairly often. We have a 10 month old son and he was away OS for 4 months recently, came home for 2 weeks and is now away again. DS hardly knows him.
I dealt with DP being away for 4 months but stupidly assumed that he would be around for a while before going away again. 2 weeks later he told me he had to go intrastate. He doesn't. There was work here but because some bloke stroked his ego and said he was really good at what he does and the money was good, better than here, he decided to go. Thing is, we don't need the money at the moment. He could quite easily sit on his butt for the next 3 months and we would still be okay. But money is GOD to him and will always come before everything else, including his own child.
I'm p****** off with him, hardly feel like talking to him when he calls, feel disconnected to him, and incredibly lonely, as though I am a single mother. I have friends and family here but it's not the same as having a partner there to share the daily joys and worries of raising a child. Also, all my friends & family are female so I feel like DS is missing out on having a man in his life. Don't get me wrong, I am soooooooo not interested in finding another man but I do wish there was more of a male influence in DS life.
Also, we are booked to go interstate at Christmas to see DP's family and I am so p***** off at that because DP will be home one day and we will have to jump on a plane the next where DS will be surrounded by virtual strangers, including his own Dad and that will be really unsettling for him.
What makes me angrier is that DP says he wants to show DS off to his family! I understand that but jeez, if he actually saw his own son a bit more often then he would earn the right to show off!
On top of all this I am just realising how lonely I am. I was usually ok with DP going away but somehow having a child makes it lonelier. I am feeling really down about it all.
Anyway, just wanted to vent a bit and if anyone has any advice on how to deal with it emotionally I would like to hear it.
I dealt with DP being away for 4 months but stupidly assumed that he would be around for a while before going away again. 2 weeks later he told me he had to go intrastate. He doesn't. There was work here but because some bloke stroked his ego and said he was really good at what he does and the money was good, better than here, he decided to go. Thing is, we don't need the money at the moment. He could quite easily sit on his butt for the next 3 months and we would still be okay. But money is GOD to him and will always come before everything else, including his own child.
I'm p****** off with him, hardly feel like talking to him when he calls, feel disconnected to him, and incredibly lonely, as though I am a single mother. I have friends and family here but it's not the same as having a partner there to share the daily joys and worries of raising a child. Also, all my friends & family are female so I feel like DS is missing out on having a man in his life. Don't get me wrong, I am soooooooo not interested in finding another man but I do wish there was more of a male influence in DS life.
Also, we are booked to go interstate at Christmas to see DP's family and I am so p***** off at that because DP will be home one day and we will have to jump on a plane the next where DS will be surrounded by virtual strangers, including his own Dad and that will be really unsettling for him.
What makes me angrier is that DP says he wants to show DS off to his family! I understand that but jeez, if he actually saw his own son a bit more often then he would earn the right to show off!
On top of all this I am just realising how lonely I am. I was usually ok with DP going away but somehow having a child makes it lonelier. I am feeling really down about it all.
Anyway, just wanted to vent a bit and if anyone has any advice on how to deal with it emotionally I would like to hear it.