View Full Version : what do i tell my 3yr old???
ok a new problem has arrised...
now my 3yr old is asking questions....
where is daddy???
whens daddy coming home???
i want my daddy???
how do i answer these without making him upset?
usually i say... daddys at his friends house(which is true thats where he is living)
but then he says... whens he coming home....
and i cant say anything without making him REALLY upset...
how do you tell a kid there daddy isnt living here anymore without making them cry and be all upset about it ???
i just dont know what to say and it breaks my heart...
he is always asking questions and if he isnt satisfied with the answer he will ask more questions and always ask WHY ?!?!?!?!?!?!
:( :( :( :(
I get asked the same by my little man also. And it is heart breaking. The only consolation for me is that I KNOW in my heart it is better for both myself and the kids that we no longer live with him. I tell my ds that Mummy and Daddy don't live together anymore because we fight too much when we are together. I ask if he is happy now that he doesn't have to hear the fights and he says yes, but still wants Daddy to come home.
I don't know the circumstance in which you are seperated but I keep getting told that it DOES get easier for them to understand and in the long run they realise how much happier life can be. I just cling to that thought and hope for the best.
Oh gosh - I have no idea how to offer any advice on that one.
I just want to offer you and your little munchkin heaps of :hugs:
but the thing is... bubba didnt see the fighting or the crap that went on between me and my now ex... so he doesnt understand why he has gone all of a sudden...
just watching and hearing him being upset about his dad gone is more upsetting than anything i've ever had to come across...
i just dont know what to say......
My 3 year old sometimes asks where Daddy is.
When DH and i separated, we told her that he is going to live where to planes are. But now he is on a ship for 3 months, so he can't ring or talk to her. I am pretty luck though, the only time she asks for him is when she is in trouble.
Does he see your son?
yes he has been seeing him often... but he always cried when his daddy leave and even hangs onto his legs and everything to stop him walking out the door... he was a real daddys boy so it makes it even harder !
That must be hard.. I'm pretty lucky Mikayla was a daddys girl until Christmas than turned into a mummy's girl...
here is a :hugs: for you.
hhmmmm i know this to well
my little man (2.5 yrs) is ssure a daddys boy!
he always ask where daddy is, crys for him, goes real upset etc.
i just say (and this may sound cold but hope not)
i say daddy is at daddys house and mummy is at mummys house. and you live with mummy
which the response is usually "dont want it. want daddys house"
and i say, well your not having daddys house because mummy loves you so you have to stay with mummy!
its the only age appropriate way i can explain it to him
i wish it could be different, but i feel nothing for my ex, and that kind of relationship is unfair on everyone!
its hard, i am trying to (to busy) read this book about "to and fro parenting" as they put it
because my son sees his dad every week
i always thought it was easier for children with regular contact! aaahhhhhhhhh
i feel your pain, if u find any more tips lemme know xx
The best thing I can offer is to be as honest with him as possible (age appropriate). Give him credit for understanding more than you think he does. Explain to him that he lives with mummy and daddy lives somewhere else but he can talk to/see/visit/be visted whenever he needs it. Obviously make sure dad is ok with this plan of attack - your DS may cope better if some of it comes from his dad. Let him know that even though daddy isn't living with the 2 of you he still loves him very much - once again another thing probably better to come from dad and be reminded by you later.
Big hugs and best of luck!!
my heart goes out to you. After reading your post I've been sitting here trying to imagine what it would be like for my DS if my DH and I were no longer together. To tell you the truth I just can't bear to even imagine it as my DS is a real daddy's boy especially over the last 3 weeks - can't get enough of his daddy.
have you and your ex tried sitting down together and explaining it to your DS? If you and your ex are on good terms then it maybe worth the try. Even if you are not on good terms try and do it for your DS sake as the poor little darling sounds very distraught over the situation.
best of luck and big hugs to your DS :hugs:
ok well i told him and by the sound of it he is satisfied with my answer but doesnt like the idea of it.....
he was having a cry the other day because he fell over and said he wanted daddy... and i just told him....
well daddy lives in a new house now... he has his own house...
and we can call daddy if you want to talk to him....
" but i want daddy to live at mummys house" was his reply."
but mummy and daddy ave their own houses now... and whenever you want to talk to daddy or see daddy we just ring him and if he isnt working he will come see you .. ok....
" ohh ok mummy."
.................................................. .................................................. ..........................
now and again he will ask to go see daddy or that he wants daddy over.. and it is pretty good because matt and i are still getting along being appart and he is welcome to come see dom anytime aslong as he calls first. andhe can take dom out for the day whenever he wishes. he just cant have him over night because i hate the people he is living with... really bad influences who smoke and have a filthy house.
so all is well now over here.....
thanx for the advice.
glad things are working out for you and DS :yelclap: . So hard when they can't understand - just breaks your heart.
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