He told his teacher He wanted to kill himself

[werdxela]

My sons teacher told me on friday he told her he wanted to kill himself. She was quite concerned to hear that kind of comment from an 8 year old. She asked me if I knew why he would say something like that.

How the hell do I answer that?

For the past few months everytime he gets angry and has a meltdown he screams at me that I should of let him die (he was very sick as a newborn) and that he knows I want him dead. I have never ever said anything like that to him and I have no idea where that would come from.

We have tried to take him to councilling before due to anger issues but he shuts down and refuses to talk. I dont know where to go from here anymore. I am not strong enough to deal with this anymore.

[JnA]

I have no advice I just wanted to give you this :hugs:
How hard for you.

If he wont' go to a councilor, I urge you to see someone and ask their professional opinion on how you should approach this and what you should say to him.

Best for it.

[veve]

Have you spoken to him about suicide before??? about what happens - the finality of death ?? all the good things he will miss out on??

I have no experience in this area .. but a friend of mine - her son committed suicide this year :( .. watch out for a 'turn around' ... usually the child/ teenager gets really perky and happy when they hvae made the decision to do something about it :(

I really really hope that he is just talking 'stuff' and would never follow through on it ..

:hugs: its a scary thing to think about/ talk about ... I would definitely try to continue with counselling ... least you know you are TRYING to do something then :hugs:

xx
Jen

[Tam-I-Am]

Where are do you live? Can you contact your local hospital ASAP and ask to speak to the pediatric mental health team? In Victoria, they're CAMHS - Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services.

They work in with your child, you and the school for solutions and strategies for kids who have behavioural disorders or mental illness. To have an 8 year old say he wants to commit suicide is obviously very disturbing - and shouldn't be taken lightly.

Good luck with it :hugs: I hope you can sort it out soon :hugs:

[Angelmist♥]

Umm wow, firstly :hugs: for you.Secondly, is there anyway you can spend some quality one on one time with him?Not saying you don't already.......I just find it helps with my 6 and 7yr olds sometimes.Let him take the day off, get your other kids babysat, take him to a movie and a cafe for lunch and get really talking.(or maybe get your DP to babysit kids and have a movie night and dinner with him). We have 'no holds barred' conversations, they can say whatever they like without repercussions IYKWIM. Has it been worse since you had your DD?

I don't mean to be nosey but is your DP the father of all 3 kids?That can sometimes be an issue to kids around that age. Is he having problems at school with friends or bullies?

I really really hope that he starts feeling better soon mate :hugs:

[Stepfordmum]

OH MY GOODNESS!!!

My heart goes out to you.....

Have the school informed anyone about this..... I just thought that was common practice to hgelp with helping him as well as you deal with this awful situation you guys are in!


It must break your heart to hear that Id probably cry my eyes out if I heard that... So hugs!!!

How would he even know what suicide is...???

Sweetheart you really need to at on this quickly...He needs to go speak to the pardiatric mental health unit asap.....

I know a few places iN NSW if your from here...

Keep us osted i hope you guys can get ontop f this asap...

[Ffrenchknickers]

Oh my gosh, yeah you need to do something quickly about this one....everyone has given you good advice:hugs: That would break my heart:(I am really praying that it all works out, I feel so sorry for him to be feeling this way:(

[*babygirl*]

:hugs: i agree with angelmist. do something special for JUST him. i know he is a boy and all but i think he is feeling detatched my brother is 8 and went through a phase like that... no where near that bad tho:no: leave little notes for him... buy soemthing little and give it to him when he is going to bed... keep sending him written signs that you love him. anger can stem from so many places in a young mind.... i would be so devastated too... but i agree u need to show him the finality of death. this is going to sound so morbid... but take him out to lunch and talk and if u still feel his anger and detatchment walk him through a cemetary and read the headstones with him... read the ages and messages and explain that we all go for different reasons... dont let his be that he was angry at you and WAY TOO YOUNG... show him how precious we all are... and challenge him to be the oldest headstone in the place... if that is WAY off im sorry... but honestly that is how i think i would handle it.:( i feel for you.

and you ARE strong enough.:hugs:

[werdxela]

His teacher came to me first because he tends to be a bit dramatic. She wanted to make me aware of the issue as he said it in the heat of the moment durig one of his melt downs.
He has seen a psychologist through youth and child mental health here in Qld before but unfortunately he refused to speak to her and I would have to literally drag him into her office. So after 3 months of him refusing to speak to her (he was 6 at the time) and him having major melt downs at the mere mention of having an appointment or getting with in 5 metres of her office we stopped the apointments. We have seen many different professionials for Boo over the years but no one seems to hold the answer. I will be contacting the youth and child mental health unit again and hopefully he will be more willing to communicate this time.

[V8]

I'm sorry i wish i had some wise words, wow how very scary and upsetting to hear from an 8 year old. :(

[Stepfordmum]

You know maybe if thats the case..... Have you thought of making sure... That the psych he sees is a male...

He might be having an issue with woman atm...

Just an idea...

sounds horrible..

[werdxela]

You know maybe if thats the case..... Have you thought of making sure... That the psych he sees is a male...

He might be having an issue with woman atm...

Just an idea...

sounds horrible..

Doesn't sound horrible at all. This has been something we have thought about.
He was originally meant to see male psych but he left and she was the replacement.

[Stepfordmum]

Oh Ok cool....

Well I really hope you can sort this out as soon as possible......

Good Luck!!

[sam's mum]

firstly - I think that this is one of the hardest things you can hear as a parent, because you know that it can happen, and that you can't be there all the time to prevent it.

We took three counsellors before we found one that DD1 would talk to. She was in counselling for 12 months and one of the biggest things that they had to keep drumming into her was the difference between adult worries and kid worries. DD1 was convinced that it was her fault that I had miscarried.

that Christmas as part of the presents everyone had to do a short statement about every other person - something that they like about them. My mum did special envelopes and everyone got one. I still see DD1 reading hers sometimes.

I hope that you get everything sorted out. :hugs:

[PunkyDiva]

Firstly, big :hugs: for you and your family.

Although anything suicidal is a cry for help, it can also be a way to unintentionally hurt others.Children are very adept at finding those buttons, but still extremely serious and needs to be looked into and dealt with.

My son wouldn't talk initially without my husband or I present and then he would just try and brush of things he had said/stated he was feeling.So much of the sessions seemed to be DH and I talking. I felt so guilty at times that I had failed as a parent and although yes I am human and def made mistakes it helped me to also change some of my behaviour and accept that we must look to the future, make changes and not dwell on the past.

DS was also given paper and pens during each session and would often doodle or write things during the session which the therapist was able to interpret and use.
It is hard and you may feel there is no progress but I encourage you to perservere.
My son never really talked but he still learnt skills to manage his anger and frustrations and is much more open to us then he was before.

We also talked openly about suicide as a family and how a person must be feeling to want to do it and the implications for people around them if they carried it out.

There are so many different catalysts for why a child suddenly feels like this and just as many different ways that it can be dealt with, so hang in there and don't be afraid to speak up about it as I'm sure you'll be suprised at how many families in today's society are dealing with similiar things and that support is vital for you as well.

Lotsa healing vibes your way. xxx

[SixtiesChild]

:hugs: To You. What a terribly sad thing for a parent to hear.
Is he your first child?

[3princes]

I don't mean to be nosey but is your DP the father of all 3 kids?That can sometimes be an issue to kids around that age. Is he having problems at school with friends or bullies?

I really really hope that he starts feeling better soon mate :hugs:[/quote]

I have a similar situation with my eldest son.... DH is not his biological father but is the only Dad he has ever known. I had DS when i was young and DS gets very upset sometimes (over really little things ... but as a kid probably mean soo much.. ie watching too much TV). He gets really emotional starts crying and saying he wishes he was never born... which i have never ever said.. i love him to bits and try to show him as much as possible. It is really tiring and it is soo hard to stay strong and convince him of how important he is to me.. what a wonderful caring big brother, big helper, great artist etc etc...and how we all really care about him.

i was thinking that i wouldn't have problems like this til he was a teenager!!!


i wish you all the best and want you to know that you are not alone:hugs: keep persevering!

[mumwiththree]

It is hard when you start having to deal with things you thought would only come up in their teens.
My son is 11. And though he has never said he would take his own life, it is still a fear of mine.
I had him when I was 18 and his biological ***** left us when he was 6 months old, though when he was there he didn't want anything to do with him anyway.
My ds hasn't seen his biological ***** since he was about 2, but he only saw him then because I was pushy and used to take him to his place, though he wasn't interested.
So I was on my own pretty much up until he was 5 when I met my now DH.
They got along pretty well in the beginning. Not sure if that was before my dd was born or after.
I suppose there wasn't much time between my DH and I getting together and when we had our dd for my ds and dh to get to really know one another.
It seems the older my ds gets, the more he and dh push each other the wrong way.
We moved from Perth to Brisbane in Jan of this year, pulling ds away from everything he knew. Friends and family.
The first school he went to he was bullied from day one to the point we pulled him out after just one term. But things didn't seem to change at the second school though the bullying wasn't as bad. He was getting depressed, feeling sick before school, 'morning sickness is what I called it', arguing with his Dad. Get's upset over the smallest things. Blows things out of proportion. Gets angry soo easily. Yells at me.
Don't know what to do. Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong? These are questions I know most of us will ask ourselves when it comes to our children. But I didnt think it would be this soon.
We have recently involved the school councilor to help out, but I think he also needs to speak to someone along with his Dad. I'm glad though that my ds doesn't mind speaking to someone.
It's so hard. Hear I am about to start studying to be a Social Worker and I can't even help my own child. I feel so helpless.
I know I'm not the only one feeling this way, I just wanted to tell my story so others know they aren't the only ones too.
At least here we can offer each other a shoulder, a word, or something that may help.
:hugs: