do you 'trust' them when they are gone?

[mad3under3]

hubby is thinking about going up on the mines, and the only thing i have a problem with it bar the fact i dont like the idea of me being here and him being able to go out whenever he wants up there (time and engery being the expection) but im all mummy looking here, and girls up there? hmmmm

anyways, have any other mums had this run through their mind or does it settle????

thanks
jasmine

[TeamAwesome]

well I trust my DH 200% so for me it's not an issue. he's one of those guys who will have one beer with the boys to be "sociable" then come and call me.

I think the key though is the communication, my DH and I talk every night when he is away and I think it helps him and me, if we didn't have the communication happening we would not have the kind of relationship we do and wouldn't be able to have him working away and me here at home.

If you decide to go ahead with the idea make sure you have a good support network around you! DD1 was 4mo when DH first went away and I had no support from either of our families so I went to live near Dh's work, on the other side of the country. DD2 was 10days old when DH went away again -(she was overdue though) but this time I have much better support, IL's have stepped up to the plate and I also have great friend support too.

[Lastcenturymum]

I guess it depends on how much trust you have in your relationship already.

And I've heard from some one who works up there that most of the chicks who work there you wouldn't touch.....:eek: (I do have a friend whose daughter works as a geologist in a QLD mine, but she is NICE and wouldnt be interesting in fooling around!:angel: )

[mad3under3]

yeah, support network i haven't got one to speak of, and i have 3 boys under 3 1/2 ... i would just keep organizing meets left, right, and center.

but i know i could get on with things down here while he was up there, just don't know how my mind will go, will i end up fretting the whole time, or will that numb....

guess we will wait and see,

jasmine

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

in a word NO I dont worry and YES I trust my DH when he away.
He is sacraficing a lot going away too...and I would hate to think he didnt 'trust' me being down here either...our relationship is very strong...I only get a bit narky when we supposed to be saving and he blows a ton on a boozy night in the mess...but with regards to other women I am not worried at all...most of the women he socialises are geos or the like that he deals with during the day usually with partners themselves, and the others well he isnt that complimentary about them(fairly rough and ready)...I am happy for him to have a life up there(i mean I do here with mothers groups, meets etc) it must get lonely for him. We speak every night too, by mobile or skype which helps...it is a tough sacrafice for you and your DH and although the money is appealing I think you have to be sure your relationship strong enough, not because of the temptations up north (these are limited!) but because of the time apart and the affect on your family as a whole.

[kewlchicmum]

well I trust my DH 200% so for me it's not an issue. he's one of those guys who will have one beer with the boys to be "sociable" then come and call me.

I think the key though is the communication, my DH and I talk every night when he is away and I think it helps him and me, if we didn't have the communication happening we would not have the kind of relationship we do and wouldn't be able to have him working away and me here at home.

If you decide to go ahead with the idea make sure you have a good support network around you! DD1 was 4mo when DH first went away and I had no support from either of our families so I went to live near Dh's work, on the other side of the country. DD2 was 10days old when DH went away again -(she was overdue though) but this time I have much better support, IL's have stepped up to the plate and I also have great friend support too.

I agree with antlmummy and also mytillieroo on this one.....it's hard on both parties but your relationship has to be strong cause FIFO is not for every couple...both also have to have a life as well...If you don't have trust what do you have?:idea:

[happysammy]

My DH worked away full on....he kept going and did jjobs on the side on his days off for his family who lived near by where he worked instead if coming home. he worked with his two cousins and brother and friends he went to school with in the same area. I too have heard that the girls that are up there the blokes wouldnt go near. Trust was never a problem for me. It was the fact that here I was down here on my own lonely having no adult conversation looking after our child when yes he was up there working, but after work was generally getting drunk and stupid and acting 16 again with his brothers mates and cousins......My solution....Get EVEN! it had him come running home faster than the blink oof an eye! I did what he did! I went out with our mates down here, and let it get back to him through word of mouth through mates! I had many bbq at my house and made my own life that he wasnt involved in! And ever since he found out he has been back home and has not considered once working away again...sure the money is better but i think that family bieng together is more important!

[jakeanteleahsmum]

i trust my dp 200% as well.im more worried about the fact that every friday he gets drunk .i have been with him when chick flirt with him and he just looks at them like there from another planet.he is more into drinking with mates than the girls.

he admits though that he only goes out on the friday drinking with his work mates cause he is home sick and misses us.it is good money but only if you are stong enough to handle them being away

[jessiika]

i trust my partner 200% aswell n if you dont then what do u have? u need to have a very strong relatioship with great communication!& support network helps alot (which im slowly establishing)

and i dont mean 2 sound like a ***** when i say this but... when i ive dropped dp at airport ive seen all the women that work up there n they r all between 35-50 and are either fat or shazza lookin wearin scabby clothes dressed like men so i kno i have nothin 2 worry bout as im 36wks pregnant n stil look 10x better then them lol :laughing:

and im prob lucky cause where my partner works he has telstra next g reception so i can contact him any time and talkin every night has kept our relationship in top shape n b4 he was mining he was in army and would go overseas 2 timor or afgan 4 3-6month intervals n i would only get a call twice a week so that was difficult!

[jessiika]

i trust my partner 200% aswell n if you dont then what do u have? u need to have a very strong relatioship with great communication!& support network helps alot (which im slowly establishing)

and i dont mean 2 sound like a ***** when i say this but... when i ive dropped dp at airport ive seen all the women that work up there n they r all between 35-50 and are either fat or shazza lookin wearin scabby clothes dressed like men so i kno i have nothin 2 worry bout as im 36wks pregnant n stil look 10x better then them lol :laughing:

and im prob lucky cause where my partner works he has telstra next g reception so i can contact him any time and talkin every night has kept our relationship in top shape n b4 he was mining he was in army and would go overseas 2 timor or afgan 4 3-6month intervals n i would only get a call twice a week so that was difficult!

[Kazamataz]

I agree with what most of the other girls have said.
FIFO is not for everyone and you have to have a very strong relationship that ultimately is founded on trust.

A support network is important but if your relationship is not solid then you may run into trouble.

The fact of the matter is women and men cheat all the time and it doesn't matter whether they work away or run a home business.

If you and your Hubby have a firm marriage then one would hope that would be enough.

I trust my hubby 100% He has been in the position before where someone offered to keep him company so to speak and he turned them down flat.
The fact that he had the opportunity and then he was honest with me about it shows that I can trust him.

He loves our son and me too much to risk that with one silly night.

I do know people who have cheated while working away and not one of them had a stable, strong and happy relationship at home.

If you know your marriage is rock solid then there is no harm in trying it.

My hubby studied to work in the mines so he had a few trail runs before he actually went out there.
Maybe thats something you could try, send your hubby away for a weekend fishing with some mates or something like that and see how you go.

Good luck with it all and if he does end up working away you'll have a great support network here at bub hub :yes:

[Kazamataz]

yeah, support network i haven't got one to speak of, and i have 3 boys under 3 1/2 ... i would just keep organizing meets left, right, and center.

but i know i could get on with things down here while he was up there, just don't know how my mind will go, will i end up fretting the whole time, or will that numb....

guess we will wait and see,

jasmine

Where do you live?

[Kazamataz]

I don't want to alarm you but I do want to jump to the defense of some of the women working FIFO.

Some of my best friends work FIFO and they are drop dead gorgeous.
The down side for them is they get hassled a lot by guys and most of the really good looking ones spend all their time in their rooms.
They also all have boyfriends who work the same shift as them so they aren't going to be tempting your hubby.

I hate hearing people say that ALL the girls who work FIFO are fat, ugly B's or Old grannies.

I know lots of beautiful girls who work away. The wouldn't risk having affair with someone as they would only get a reputation for being a getting around and could open themselves up to all kinds of trouble.

[Myliam]

I'm fat, 38 (39 in two weeks), and don't dress well as most of my money currently goes into school fee's. But DH still comes home to me every break. Like everyone has said, it's a matter of trust and a solid relationship. I worked in the mines in my 20's when I was a size 12 and gorgeous. All the girls out there were different. Same as in the city. If someones going to try and crack onto a married guy they'll do it where ever they are. My DH was "jumped" so to speak a few months ago when a new barmaid approached him outside the wetmess and kissed him before he could react. He told her he was married and that was that. He also told me straight away. Bottom line is - if you trust him in town, there's no reason why you cant trust him out at the mines. IMO.