daisy1984
17-11-2007, 10:37
Breastfeeding didn't work out for DS and I. He was switched to formula at 3 weeks. He's 11 weeks old now and I'm doing alot of reflecting, wondering what went wrong, and mostly wanting some reasurance that maybe next time it can be different.
I had an emergency c-section. When bubs was brought to me for his first breast feed, the midwife just grabed his head and shoved it onto my breast. DS became hysterical, thrashed about, arched his neck back to try to get away. The midwife tried to hold him there while he was struggling and getting distressed. I was furious with her, but I was still pretty out of it from the surgery and I didn't say anything. Anyway, it never really changed.
I tried DS at the breast for every feed. I made sure he was relaxed, gave him skin to skin time, accepted the help of the LC's, tried a nipple shield, but he refused every time. It wasn't just poor attatchment, it was NO attatchment. Bubs would purse his lips shut and shake his head around, and when I tried to hold his head in the right place (gently), or encourage him to open his mouth he would just scream.
I spent every minute of my time in hospital expressing. For the first few days I lay in my bed all day desperately trying to squeeze enough colostrum out of my nipples and drawing it into a syringe. The midwives seemed very threatening, the'd be back every three hours to make sure I had enough to feed him, otherwise they wanted him on formula. Even if I had visitors for ten minutes, I became quite frantic, watching the clock, eager for them to leave because I'd just missed out on 10 minuts of expressing time. I literally did this all day and night. By the time I was finally offered a breast pump and my milk was coming in, I think I was hulucinating with exhaustion. I'd sit there attatched to the electric pump and it's sound seemed to be forming words, talking to me, and I was covinced it was real! This all sounds very dramatic, but for me it was the most traumatising experience of my life.
I went home, and offered a few bottles of formula whilts DP was trying to track down an electric breast pump. I expressed for every feed and had plenty of milk. I did this for two weeks (always offering the breast first) untill DP went and bought me another nipple shield that was a smaller size than the hospital ones. DS finaly took to my breast ! The excitement of this was short lived when I realised he was just sucking on the end of the sheild, it hurt like crazy, and he did not have a mouth full of breast. I knew this attatchment was all wrong, but I fed like this exclusively for 7 days, and DS put on 450 grams. Feeds would take over 2 hours, sometimes taking 15 minuts for that initial latch. By the end of that week I gave up. I knew I had plenty of milk, but I could not think of anyway to make bubs attatch properly. The pain of feeding him was unbearable, and every feed was damading my nipples.
A few days ago I noticed I still have some milk and I though "ooh, maybe i can try to relactate" But then I realised that building a supply back up is still not going to make DS want to feed from the breast.
I know this has been long, and thanks for reading. My whole point was to ask what others think about the situation, and do you think it could be different if I have another baby? I want to give it a really good go next time, but I wonder if I will struggle with the same issues. Has anyone had success with their second baby?
Do you think it was due to the c-section (bubs being taken away), or the awful first b-feeding attempt with the midwife? Is it just my breasts? (I have quite small nipples, almost flat, but they were easily drawn out when expressing). Or did I just get a baby who was not interested and never going to get the hang of it?
I've done alot of reseach now and am aware of the support networks available. Maybe I should have stuck it out for longer. But I really could not tolerate the pain of an incorrectly attatched feedeer.Do you think I will ever be able to breast feed when I have another baby? If you've succesfuly fed a second child after discontinuing with the first, I'd love to hear your story.
Thanks so much.
I had an emergency c-section. When bubs was brought to me for his first breast feed, the midwife just grabed his head and shoved it onto my breast. DS became hysterical, thrashed about, arched his neck back to try to get away. The midwife tried to hold him there while he was struggling and getting distressed. I was furious with her, but I was still pretty out of it from the surgery and I didn't say anything. Anyway, it never really changed.
I tried DS at the breast for every feed. I made sure he was relaxed, gave him skin to skin time, accepted the help of the LC's, tried a nipple shield, but he refused every time. It wasn't just poor attatchment, it was NO attatchment. Bubs would purse his lips shut and shake his head around, and when I tried to hold his head in the right place (gently), or encourage him to open his mouth he would just scream.
I spent every minute of my time in hospital expressing. For the first few days I lay in my bed all day desperately trying to squeeze enough colostrum out of my nipples and drawing it into a syringe. The midwives seemed very threatening, the'd be back every three hours to make sure I had enough to feed him, otherwise they wanted him on formula. Even if I had visitors for ten minutes, I became quite frantic, watching the clock, eager for them to leave because I'd just missed out on 10 minuts of expressing time. I literally did this all day and night. By the time I was finally offered a breast pump and my milk was coming in, I think I was hulucinating with exhaustion. I'd sit there attatched to the electric pump and it's sound seemed to be forming words, talking to me, and I was covinced it was real! This all sounds very dramatic, but for me it was the most traumatising experience of my life.
I went home, and offered a few bottles of formula whilts DP was trying to track down an electric breast pump. I expressed for every feed and had plenty of milk. I did this for two weeks (always offering the breast first) untill DP went and bought me another nipple shield that was a smaller size than the hospital ones. DS finaly took to my breast ! The excitement of this was short lived when I realised he was just sucking on the end of the sheild, it hurt like crazy, and he did not have a mouth full of breast. I knew this attatchment was all wrong, but I fed like this exclusively for 7 days, and DS put on 450 grams. Feeds would take over 2 hours, sometimes taking 15 minuts for that initial latch. By the end of that week I gave up. I knew I had plenty of milk, but I could not think of anyway to make bubs attatch properly. The pain of feeding him was unbearable, and every feed was damading my nipples.
A few days ago I noticed I still have some milk and I though "ooh, maybe i can try to relactate" But then I realised that building a supply back up is still not going to make DS want to feed from the breast.
I know this has been long, and thanks for reading. My whole point was to ask what others think about the situation, and do you think it could be different if I have another baby? I want to give it a really good go next time, but I wonder if I will struggle with the same issues. Has anyone had success with their second baby?
Do you think it was due to the c-section (bubs being taken away), or the awful first b-feeding attempt with the midwife? Is it just my breasts? (I have quite small nipples, almost flat, but they were easily drawn out when expressing). Or did I just get a baby who was not interested and never going to get the hang of it?
I've done alot of reseach now and am aware of the support networks available. Maybe I should have stuck it out for longer. But I really could not tolerate the pain of an incorrectly attatched feedeer.Do you think I will ever be able to breast feed when I have another baby? If you've succesfuly fed a second child after discontinuing with the first, I'd love to hear your story.
Thanks so much.