Grandfather disgusted with BF!

[Toes]

I was at my parents house the other day and my Grandfather (84) was talking about how my cousin was 6 months pregnant with her 2nd child and still breast feeding her nearly 2 yr old and how he thought it was "disgusting to be walking around with a kid hangin off ya boob!" at that age. Everyone sort of said, mmm each to their own and left it at that but i have been thinking about it since and now wished i had of said something more in her defence.
Mind you, i can sort of understand some of what he is saying, she does umm, flaunt it...(dont know if thats the right word!) For example, my parents went to her house for dinner and it was a hot night and she was sitting outside with NO top on and feeding when 2 yr old wanted to! I dont mean to offend anyone but IMO thats a little uncomfortable for people like my Dad, he does'nt really want to see his neice like that, there are other ways of doing it..
I'm still feeding my 5 1/2 month old but go into another room and do it discretely in front of some people because it can make them a bit uncomfortable.
Anyway, what im getting at is i kinda assumed that people of my Grandfathers generation would be more accepting of it because back then, how else did they feed their children, ie before formula etc...?

[the_queen]

I'd say the women were pretty much forced to do it hidden away in another room :( And formula has been around for a while now, in the 40's and 50's particularly it was marketed world-wide as being "superior" to breastmilk :mad: and that "only peasants breastfeed" :mad: :mad: So a lot of people from that generation have a negative mind-set about it.

I think it is innappropriate for anyone to sit with no top on, in the presence of other people, breastfeeding or not. Perhaps you could suggest to your grandpa that it isn't the breastfeeding so much as the "flaunting" that makes him uncomfortable?

[punkbaby]

i think i would agree with the flaunting honestly some people arent comfy with bf and i have always been aware of that and tried to be discreet, i will feed in front of people but nothing ever gets seen :) i think that feeding with no top on it over the top though a little extreme really, in your own home yes but not at dinner with family.

I dont see anything wrong with feeding a 2yo old though i think thats it awesome shes still going strong :)

Does she know he doesnt like her feeding at this age? If its been mentioned to her and shes said something to you maybe give an insight onto what his thinking and why, in a nice way. i know if it was me i would appreciate it :D

My FIL is anti BF but when his here or visa versa i say to him boob time leave the room! LOL if its in my own house his ok with me saying that and it tends to break the ice i guess but if in his house i will go to the bedroom

[~Emmylou~]

As well as what queen said I think too alot of people in that generation have the view that breastfeeding is for the poor people - only people who couldn't afford milk (or later formula) did it past the age where baby could have solids.

It's really a generational thing I think and hopefully it will pass as we become more educated about the benefits of breastmilk :thumbsup:

[V8]

Anyway, what im getting at is i kinda assumed that people of my Grandfathers generation would be more accepting of it because back then, how else did they feed their children, ie before formula etc...?

That's what i would have thought too. :confused: To be honest though i can kinda see her side and others, i know myself i prefer to be discreet when BF, but i think good on her if she finds it natural enough to not be embarrassed about it.

[Mum&bubs]

I don't want to seem rude but it's people like that that make extended breastfeeders like your cousin uncomfortable to breastfeed their little ones. Although feeding with NO top on is a bit weird... I mean putting a shirt on would have helped she could still feed that way. But still, it's not disgusting :thumbsdown:

[maiko]

Personally I think it's immodest to have no top on when you have people over, breastfeeding or not. Definitely not something I would have liked to see and I don't know any of my friends/relatives who would have been comfortable with it either. I'm all for extended breastfeeding but there's no need to be completely topless!

[SassyMummy]

I think it's a bit ridiculous if your cousin is using breastfeeding as an excuse to sit around topless. There's a difference between having a boob out to feed, and just revealing yourself.

As for Grandparents... I think women fed privately. It may have been the only way to feed, but it was far from acceptable to do it in the view of others. Not sure how it went if a friend came over, but I suppose you'd excuse yourself and do that way instead.

I don't think men would have been "bothered" with women's business... they probably didn't find it appropriate to discuss menstrual matters, or childbirth, or anything like that.

My grandmother told me that your husband wasn't to be bothered by your birth - you were lucky if he waited outside the waiting room for you. She even said they'd drug you up and knock you out... and you'd wake up with a baby. No memory of birth or anything, as you were knocked out.

So I suppose it was just seen as women's business.

I don't like it, but I have a lot of tolerance for elderly and their beliefs (although very outdated and even "wrong" IMO)... because that's how it was for them.

My Grandparent's house was the only place I went where I excused myself and fed in another room, because I respected the fact that they didn't want to see it.

[Lollie86]

I think it's a bit ridiculous if your cousin is using breastfeeding as an excuse to sit around topless. There's a difference between having a boob out to feed, and just revealing yourself.



I agree. I find that a bit weird IMO to be sitting around with no top on.

My grandma told me that back in her day they would just give babies cows milk watered down. She had no mention of formula at all. :confused: She actually goes around telling all her friends how proud she is of me for breastfeeding and apparently all her friends find it odd that dd is over 6 months and still bf. Whereas my other grandma asks me at every phone call if dd is still on the boob and when i tell her she is, she congratulates me and then tells me to not be stupid and give her cows milk. Oh and this phone call happens once a week lol :p

I bf in front of anyone and anywhere, however I do it discretely if I know people are uncomfortable. I have never gone into another room to bf when people are over as its my house and if they dont like it, they can leave the room. :D

[Toes]

Thanx for your replies, its opened my eyes to when/why formula was introduced and that generations views on breastfeeding.
I think my grandfather was scoffing about BF all together but had quite a bit to say about my cousins situation because "the kids walking and talking, whens it going to stop" and "its not a baby anymore" or things along those lines, were other comments he made! I go into a different room when im around him and he's never said anything to me directly but im not sure what is said behind my back! Neh, who cares. I really am surprised by the stigma still attached to BFing!!
As for her sitting topless, i would even be embarrassed about seeing that! In saying that though and i know its no excuse, but my cousin does come from an upbringing where she lived in almost a different culture to what im used to and this sort of thing is probably normal for her and what she was brought up around. Still weird though!!