I am loosing it..seriously what am I suppose to do??? [Archive]

subaruforestermum

14-11-2007, 18:05

Well my darling little terror started using the toilet younger than most....anyways he then stopped using it all the time, only occasional and now refuses to use it at all..

I have used pull ups, normal undies, constantly asking if he needs to use the toilet, and he knows when he does...I know he does, as he has proven it in the past!

So what the heck am I suppose to do????

He is now starting to pee out of his nappies, pull up's, even if it is only very light, ie not many pees in it!

I am so frustrated that most people have their kids toilet trained or half way there by now, and yet DS was almost there and now gone backwards!:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

I am over it, he knows how to use the toilet, so why wont he????

AAAAARGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Signed one stressed out mummy!:hair:

subaruforestermum

14-11-2007, 18:22

BUMP BUMP BUMP...share my stress......

HELP ME, teach him for me....lol...

How do I get him to use the loo again??

subaruforestermum

14-11-2007, 18:25

Leave him be, he is only 2......he will do it in his own time!

punkbaby

14-11-2007, 18:26

subaruforestermum

14-11-2007, 18:27

Leave him be, he is only 2......he will do it in his own time!

He was 2 in July, and he USE to use it.....so why be so silly and stop....he acts as though there is something wrong with using the toilet!

I dont want to be changing his nappy at 3 or older....

subaruforestermum

14-11-2007, 18:33

Give him time i have a nearly 5yo who isnt trained :( well its from the accident but he knows how to go he just wont. All i can suggest maybe is putting jox on him this sort of works for us as usully now when he wets them i make him stay in hem for 15 minutes so he knows its no nice. Yep probably cruel but i am over it too although he does have an excuse its time he started and seeing his 2yo (nearly 3) sister can do it i think he can too :D

Dont be so hard on yourself its annoying but sadly sometimes its just the way it is

Thanks Punkbaby, I just started having a conversation with myself.....slowly going insane! lol:o

Yeah but your son has a reason! My son is being lazy! Sorry but its true! I have tried what you suggested, even leaving him in his wet jocks, telling him the toy he peed on is wrecked, but he just doesnt care!

Thanks for the advice, I will try to continue what I'm doing I suppose....he is so stubborn!

punkbaby

14-11-2007, 18:34

maybe i should mention dd went and did this used it at 2 then took a step back for 4 months she was scared of toilet monsters :D

subaruforestermum

14-11-2007, 18:44

maybe i should mention dd went and did this used it at 2 then took a step back for 4 months she was scared of toilet monsters :D

He started using the toilet younger than 2, maybe around 15 months or maybe bit older! Then stopped months and months ago....

He usually tell me if he is scared of something but has said nothing:confused:

Oh the joys of parenting!

mumx3littlies

14-11-2007, 18:46

Was there anything big that happened around the time he stopped using the loo? Like moving house, a death in the family or anything else that may have affected him in a big way? If not then I dont know what you'd do, maybe leave him in undies and when hes weed/pooed in em a few times he might want to use the loo again,I dunno:rolleyes:

Oscar's mum

14-11-2007, 18:51

He started using the toilet younger than 2, maybe around 15 months or maybe bit older! Then stopped months and months ago....

How did toilet training first begin was it him wanting to use the toilet or you wanting him to use the toilet???

subaruforestermum

14-11-2007, 18:59

How did toilet training first begin was it him wanting to use the toilet or you wanting him to use the toilet???

Started with him asking to use it, he would tell me he needed a pee or poo, so I got him a potty and the areas were too small, so we got him a seat and he loved using it...and would tell me when he needed to go!

I wasnt pushy or expecting back then!

UmmInayah

15-11-2007, 08:08

Maybe sit down and have a chat about it. Like punkbaby mentioned about toilet monsters, maybe there is something that your DS is scared about and just hasn't told you yet? I think pressuring him to go or keep asking him is only going ot make it worse.

My sister used to tell her little one that if does a poo in the toilet he would get a lolly. He is now almost 4 and he STILL gets a lolly every time he goes lol.

Pippi Longstocking

15-11-2007, 08:21

I would stop all attempts to toilet train for a month or so. It sounds like it is more stress than it's worth at the moment so have a break from it. Then you can try again gently and without pressure. :thumbsup:

MordecaiAliVanAllenO'Shea

15-11-2007, 16:46

Hi - I'm going through a similar thing with DS. We've done part time EC - so holding him over the toilet before shower, nappy changes, after sleeps etc and talking about what he was doing. About 16months he started telling us himself when he needed to poo, then some wees. We put him in training pants at home but no expectations or pressure, just taking him regularly and whenever he asked. Within two weeks he got to the point of telling me pretty much everytime I wouldn't bother offering because he was so consistent - even in the shopping centre, or if he told me in the car he needed to go and I asked him to wait till we got somewhere he would, even told me in the middle of a swimming lesson. This was going on for about a week and I pretty much stopped offering and left it up to him he was doing so well, then the accidents started, stopped telling me, saying no when offered then going straight afterwards, and sometimes now even missing for poos which he has always been great with.

It can be really frustrating especially when you thought 'wow that was easy, we're nearly there.' DH and I have talked about it and decided maybe the novelty wore off for now and just to keep our expectations low. So still in training pants at home, taking him regularly, but not expecting it and just being pleasantly surprised if he does ask. Also making accidents a non-event so he doesnt get any extra attention for them.

ETA: Also he's teething pretty badly right now - two canines - so I'm thinking that could have something to do with it - anything like this with your DS, or maybe just as we thought with DS the novelty wore off?

spoon

15-11-2007, 16:51

I would chill the beans for a bit too. Just step back and wait it out a bit. It was the best advice I had ever read when I was training my sonand it really worked. It is not meant to be stressful, and if it is, you have to back off.

He will get it one day, just hang in there.

subaruforestermum

15-11-2007, 17:03

MordecaiAliVanAllenO'Shea

15-11-2007, 17:19

Thanks for the advice, I guess I wont bother trying!!!! And I will continue to be useless and pathetic!

:hugs: C'mon, you're not useless and pathetic! All these milestones are so hard because we feel personally responsible if they dont get there.

Ok, I'm sensing the just back off advice is not helping:rolleyes: soooo, instead of asking DS regularly I just take his little hand and head off to the bathroom with him regularly - he's good with the routine times we've always gone - goes to the toilet himself first thing when he wakes up, once he's stripped before hopping in the shower. If you just dont ask but take him and be very cool about it like it's no big deal, just take him and if he goes "yay" and if not then "oh well, next time" and let him get back to playing quickly so he doesnt see it as annoying? Would he wee with Daddy if your DP is up for it?
Sorry, we're still kind of in this situation but less pressure cause DS is younger. I'll come back to read your thread when DS is older and still not back on track:D and then you can tell me the secret to your success.

moonblossom

15-11-2007, 17:36

My advice, from someone who has done this a LOT of times? STOP. Forget about toilet training, or timing for now. Put a nappy on and let him make it HIS decision to use the potty or toilet again.

Honestly we put way too much pressure on little ones to do things by a certain time, some just are not ready, and if he did before, then i suspect it was toilet timing, not toilet training. Give him some space and completely forget about toilet training for a couple of months.

Just my two cents worth :rolleyes:

toni796

16-11-2007, 11:07

I am also in the process of toilet training my 29 month old. I started him off about a month ago just before DS2 got sick and I had to stay in hospital with him over a weekend. This is when DS1 went backwards and has not done very good in using his potty until 2 days ago. When he does wees on his potty I really go out of my way to say good jop and praise him and he gets really excited when praised. I am not sure what else there is that you can do but to try out a few of the things the other ladies have said. :fingerscrossed: it all works out the way you want it to very soon.

tanni_83

16-11-2007, 11:46

I guess I wont bother trying!!!! And I will continue to be useless and pathetic!

You are far from useless and pathetic!! Elise was 2 in May and she has absolutly NO interest in using toilet or potty. I try to sit her on it at bath times and she SCREAMS like you wouldnt believe....but if she just plays with it, using the 'flusher' and the 'paper roll' shes fine, she loves it...but to sit, there is no hope :thumbsdown:

Dea

16-11-2007, 11:58

he will do it when hes ready .. which i know its so hard for you .... i started with my 3rd dd at about 21 months she had NO intrest what so ever .. so i just put her back in nappies as i was so sick of the washing & cleaning floors ... then she did 1 wee at daycare & that was it we had it done ina 3 days once it kicked in ... my twins both girls both had setbacks just like your going thr .. my ds was easy as at 18 months to train .. but then get him out if night nappies was aissue... i belive it one of the hardest parts of parenting .... good luck & hope he does it all soon for you ... but seriusly he will do it when he is ready ..... not you your dp but when he wants .... poor stress we put on them to do stuff less they will do it ... sad but true i belive !!!!

have a great day!!!

subaruforestermum

19-11-2007, 16:30

You are far from useless and pathetic!! Elise was 2 in May and she has absolutly NO interest in using toilet or potty. I try to sit her on it at bath times and she SCREAMS like you wouldnt believe....but if she just plays with it, using the 'flusher' and the 'paper roll' shes fine, she loves it...but to sit, there is no hope :thumbsdown:

Thanks Tanni

I just want to make it clear (not in reference to your post tanni_83) but I dont stress around him when he wont use the toilet, or wont do his business in the toilet! I am not mean and agressive and pushy towards him to try to get him to use the toilet!!!!!

I feel useless and like cr@p within myself about not being able to encourage him enough to use the toilet to TT!

When he does or has used it, I give him so much praise and am all excited for him.......and he gets all proud and happy!

thanks for all the tips ladies!

He did a wee in the loo the other day, but nothing since.....so.....

cwsmum

19-11-2007, 17:07

I did back off for a long time, that is why I am soo stressed out now....because he is now 28 months old, and I stopped trying ages ago! And feel like the most dumbest, useless mother around, cos my son isnt toilet trained or even interested in using the toilet! When ideally he should be! There is so much pressure out there to have them toilet trained by now!!!
He is still only little, 28mths is not even 2 & a-half years old...does it make him sound younger when you say it like that? Does to me :)

DS was 2yrs 6mths when he TT'd, he did it in a couple of days too. I had never really tried before then, but he had been allowed to play outside without a nappy for about 6mths before this. He was out of night/sleep time nappies within the 2mths after he TT'd without any issues. DD was also born about 2mths after he TT'd.

DD just turned 2 on the weekend and I have been letting her play outside with no nappy on for the past few weeks, just like I did with DS at the same age. Sometimes she tells me that she needs to go to the toilet, other times she tells me after she has wee'd. I'm not worried, I'm not tring to TT her just yet, I just don't think nappies would be particularly comfortable with the hot weather & humidity we get in QLD.

I think you should relax about it all, let him wear a nappy if he wants, but let him know that if he wants to use the toilet/potty then all he has to do is ask. If he is playing outside then put him in undies :yes: I get DD up most mornings, change her, give her breakfast then take her nappy off (cloth nappies so doesn't matter if it's barely wet coz I don't feel like I'm wasting $$$) and put undies on her and send both kids outside to play.

Good luck, I'm sure you will have a toilet trained little man in no time :D

julieann

19-11-2007, 18:31

My little girl also went backwards with using the toilet after our family holiday. I found this chart for really little kids called Give Me Five where they have reward pictures to look at (she chose a gingerbread man) and 5 little toilets at the bottom of the chart. Every time she went to the toilet she got to put a little toilet up on the magnetic hand..she really got into it! When she had been 5 times we made some pretty wonky gingerbread men together!!
The website on the booklet (oh yeah -and it has a booklet) is www.tiptoeep.com.au (http://www.tiptoeep.com.au)

julieann

19-11-2007, 18:41

:thumbsup:My little girl went backwards with her toilet traiinng after a family holiday. I found a chart for really young children (she was 2 1/2) called Give Me Five. It has picture rewards (she chose a gingerbread man) and litttle toilets that start at the bottom of the chart and go up to the fingertips.(and lots of other ones too) She loved using it and got through a whole day dry! We made some pretty dodgy gingerbread men and she has been fine since then. On the booklet (oops -also has a booklet) it has www.tiptoeep.com.au (http://www.tiptoeep.com.au)

Mrs Potts

19-11-2007, 20:38

Please hun, don't stress! Easier said than done, I know. But really, regression in the area of TTing is so common. It doesn't even have to take a major event to make it happen.

The other thing is, he's still very young. Among a group of friends and I we've discovered that the average age of our boys TTing was 2yrs 9mths.

The most important thing to remember is that it WILL happen. Raising your blood pressure over it won't make it happen any sooner. You know that he can do it. So he will do it again. When he is ready. In the meantime, take a deep breath and relax!

Dannielle

19-11-2007, 20:47

I had trouble toilet training DD1 and when you said this it got my attention.

When he does or has used it, I give him so much praise and am all excited for him.......and he gets all proud and happy!

I did exactly the same with DD1 and she also went a bit backwards. Someone told me not to get TOO excited and to keep it simple. Still be happy and say good girl etc though. She told me if I got too excited then she would put too much pressure on herself to make me happy again.

The same person also told me to just bite the bullet and put her in undies all day and put up with the puddles. So, I did with the exception of if I was going to be out all day to save taking her whole wardrobe with me I left her undies on so she could feel it when she wet but I put the pull-ups on over the top to save her clothes and my sanity.

If she wet she said to just say that goes in the toilet, you will get it there next time.

toni796

21-11-2007, 16:21

Have you ever heard of those things that you can hang on the edge of the toilet for little boys to wee into? I cannot remember what they are called but I did see one online the other day and was wondering how well that would work for toilet training......My DS1 knows how to stand and do a wee as he watches (TMI lol) daddy when he goes to the loo and has done a wee in the big toilet standing up.

toni796

21-11-2007, 16:37

Awwwww isn't this cute....it.s not what I found the other day but wanted to show you anyhow.....still looking for other thing.

http://www.peterpotty.com/

toni796

21-11-2007, 16:41

Ok here it is....finally found it.

http://www.pottytraining.com.au/the_toilet_shop/toilet_training_products

ShadyCharacter

22-11-2007, 11:36

3 is a pretty average age for boys to be toilet trained.

The best advice I got (from Guv and others ;)) was just to be patient and trust he would work it out in his own time - and that if I did that, one day he would just 'get it'.

DS got to 3, showed no signs at all of wanting to TT (despite a couple of wee's on the potty at 18 months old) and I started wondering if I should push him just a bit as I didn't want him in nappies TOO much longer, and I have number two on the way so was hoping DS would be out of nappies before the new bub arrived.

We tried putting him in undies at home sometimes, but he didn't take much notice... he liked wearing them, but wasn't phased when he wet them. So yeah, I started doubting that he would EVER get it.

Then a few weeks ago, DP went to pick him up from daycare and he had done six wee's on the toilet :thumbsup:. From there, it just clicked for him, and he got it. We had never even spoken to him about doing poo's on the potty, and a couple of days after that he went to do a wee one day and then just told me he had done one.

Its been about 4 weeks now, and we have had two accidents only - one where he was half asleep and the other where he did go to the toilet, he just didn't quite make it in time. He is completely dry for day AND night sleeps also.

So yeah, sorry for the saga, but I really do think just putting some faith in your son that he will do it in his own time is the way to go. I would stick him back in nappies for a while and then try again, but trust he will do it when he is good and ready.

Nomsie

22-11-2007, 11:50

If you are still stressing about it, I just happened to be watching Dr Phil a while ago and he mentioned the whole reward thing...

But this was different- the kid was really into Thomas the Tank, and so when he used the potty, "Thomas" called and told him how clever he was and heaps of encouraging stuff... it was really just a neighbour! But it worked really well and the boy was TT in no time! Just another idea to the several you already have! ;)

3princes

22-11-2007, 12:14

My little prince is almost 3! We have been doing TT for a year now.... a long journey. He started off so well, until the novelty wore off. We got back into it only for my family daycarer (who had him 3 days a week) wasn't interested in helping so i gave up for awhile, but he still would do wees in his potty everynow & then and get lots of praise. We moved house/state etc now i'm a SAHM with him. He has always been good with wees but it hasn't been until lately poos are working too!!! YAH!!!!! We haven't had any accidents for quite some time and he even tells me when we are at the shops :)

He still wears nappies at night and it will be awhile before i try to dry by night scenario as that was the hard part with my other son and i was way over washing the sheets almost everyday until he was 7!

:fingerscrossed: i'm sure you'll get there and don't be too stressed about his age, all children are different :)