Please post your homebirth story in this thread!

[AM]

I think it would be lovely to have all of our homebirth stories in this thread all together, for interested parties to read. :)

Please include planned homebirths, freebirths/purebirths, unplanned homebirths, planned homebirths which ended up as a transfer.

The planned homebirth of Tyler, a transfer to hospital

www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=133635

The Homebirth of Louie

www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=10279

[mel79]

Rowans planned homebirth in water:

http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=127478&page=3

[demeter]

Here's mine:

Valentine's Day Reclaimed: Harriet's Freebirth (http://harrietsfreebirth.blogspot.com/)

A 59 hour first birth at home without a midwife :cool:

[ikis84]

Yeah, ditto... but there is awhile to go yet!

[AM]

Thanks for the story Mel! :)

Can't wait for all the others to happen..not that long to go really.. :)

[ikis84]

Shhh AM.. I am in denial! I am excited about the homebirth, but anxious about having 2 under two!

[becca74]

I'll add myself to this list :)

you can access my birth stories, which culminates in homebirth, here: http://uk.geocities.com/morrissey_1974/FromTraumatoTriumph1.htm

and my notorious hospital vs homebirth comparison table: http://uk.geocities.com/morrissey_1974/Hospitalvshomebirth1.htm

[Jazuli]

I saw someone i didnt recognise in another thread that was planning a freebirth in December, i thought i might have to PM her and see if she wanted to come and visit us in here. Just so i can read her birth story, hehe ulterior motives. But it would be nice to have one happening really soon to look forward to.

[DoulaFelicity]

Layla's freebirth story is linked in my sig. :)

[demeter]

I remember thinking how cool it was at the time that Layla chose International Midwives' Day for her freebirthday :) That girl's got a spunky sense of humour ;)

[DoulaFelicity]

She's a spunky l'il girl. :D

[demeter]

Hey mods what do you think about making this thread a sticky?

[V8]

Good Idea Demeter. :)

[Tam-I-Am]

Done ;) :)

[lunik27]

When i found out i was pregnant, i was over the moon, i wanted to have a homebirth but soon found i didnt have the support of my family, apart from my partner they all said it was to risky, what if something goes wrong. So i went ahead and unhappily planned a hospital birth. At 7 months pregnant we decided to move 6 hours north of where we where and i decided after doing alot of research that i was going to go through with my homebirth plans, regardless of the lack of support i had around me! Which ment i only had a short time to find a midwife in my new home town. Luckily for us we found a lovely midwife who was prepared to help us at such short notice, i was so happy that things where starting to go my way.
From 7 months on my new midwife did all my prenatal checks and we got to know each other quite well. On monday the 25/9/06 at 11.30pm i felt a little trickle and rushed to the toilet, not making it all the way when my waters broke, oh my god i thought the time has finally arrived! and went and told my partner..I had a shower and went back to bed, hoping to get some sleep, while getting only mild contractions through the night, 8.30 the next morning we rang the midwife and told her where i was up to with my labour, she said just go on with your day as normal and call me to let me know how things are progressing. I spent the day pottering around home and walking on the treadmill, and trying to get some rest when i could, mum came around at 3.30pm to help prepare everything for the birth and her and dave filled the birth pool which we had set up in our dining area. 8.00pm i thought i would go to bed, but by 8.30pm my contractions where getting much stronger so i decided to hop back into the pool. At 2.30am we called our midwife to let her know we where ready for her to come around, she arrived about an hour and a half later as she had a long way to come, i remember her saying are you sure your at mid stage you look so calm! At 7.30am i was totally exhausted and was starting to worry that things were'nt progessing quick enough. We decided to get me out of the pool and try doing some squating and leg raisers which within minutes seemed to help, everytime i got a contraction i would hold daves hands and squat down and between contractions i was pacing the hallway. Time went by and the midwife checked to see what was happening , she found that i had a cervical lip coming down infront of the babies head and was preventing him from coming out! She told me she could try to move it manually during a contraction, but mentioned it may hurt a little, boy was she right, but after a few trys we managed to make good progress. at 11.00am on wednesday 26/9/06 i hopped back into the bath and birthed my beautifull baby boy Luka at 11.30am, weighing 7.15pds with no tears and completely naturally, he came out with the cord wrapped around his whole body, the midwife simply unwrapped it and gave him a couple of pumps of oxygen once he was in my arms and he was fine. when the cord stopped pulsateing, dave cut it and we hopped out of the pool, i felt very faint and just as i was about to pass out dave caught me and got me onto the lounge..Once dave had dressed luka i layed down and gave him his first breast feed. dad and his partner arrived and luka was passed around to meet his new family, i was so exhausted i went to bed and they all cracked open the red wine to celebrate! then dave myself and our new bub went to bed and marvelled over our little creation.. It was a awsome experience and i would recommend it to anyone thinking of having a homebirth, i managed to prove to all my family that homebirth is perfectly safe and have turned them all around, they now rave to everyone about my homebirth!

[spiritedfamily]

Here is the birth of my 5th son

blessed with a son (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=81319&highlight=blessed)

[V8]

Thanks for sharing your story Lunik and spirited family. They were awesome! :thumbsup:

[AM]

My heart raced for a second there V! back to twiddling my thumbs...:laughing:

[V8]

:laughing: AM, getting antsy hey?! lol

Here is the link to my birth story ladies! :D

Cameron Elliott's birth ~ 17 May 2008.

Cameron Elliott’s birth day (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?p=2676798&posted=1#post2676798)

[fire~fly]

Hi girls,
here is my homebirth story from 5 weeks ago today, although it feels like only yesterday! :cloud9:

http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?p=3019847#post3019847

[stellarella]

Link to Ginger's story...
http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?p=3032629&posted=1#post3032629

[ikis84]

Linkydoo to Elora's story :D Finally, lol.

http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?p=3057100#post3057100

[kymmy]

Unassisted Pregnancy and Birth of J (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=148391&highlight=hapu&page=2)

[didie124]

My DD was due on 10/01/08 and decided on the 29/12 that she didn't wish to wait any longer. At home i could feel my cervix dilating and knew from the birth of DS that i had a while to go.

As we had just relocated and knew noone my DH offered to take DS to the shops to get some things to keep him amused while we were at the hospital.

Once they left, i had about 5 mins to put a couple of things in a bag ( hadn't packed, thought i had plenty of time!) when my contractions started and full on, every 2 mins. I tried to call out to my neighbour to come and help( she doesn't have a home number), but she couldn't hear me, then i felt the need to push. DH wasn't back and the neighbour couldn't hear me so i called an ambulance.

The ambulance operator put me on hold whilst she attempted to contact the neighbour by phone as the ambulance was at least 1/2 hr away from getting here. i put the phone down and attempted the neighbour again just as DH arrived home.

Calling for help from him he came running and yelled for the neighbour at the same time, as they both arrived inside i got DH to get some towels as DD's head was delivered in my pants as my water broke. My neighbour helped me out of my pants as DH caught DD in the towels.

Full labour was around 20mins ambulance car arrived 5 mins later followed by ambo to transport us to hosp. DD developed Meconium Aspiration Syndrome and stopped breathing on the way to hosp, which was followed by 2 weeks in the NICU.:thumbsdown:

On a brighter note she is now almost 9mths old and bright as a button:yelclap:

[Tam-I-Am]

Link (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=182214&highlight=Connor+Anthony) to Connor Anthony's beautiful home water birth story :)

[Ys_Woman]

August 15, 2000: 2pm: Went to the hospital for routine appointment. As I was already seven days overdue it was suggested I be induced if nothing happened within the next four days. Hubby drove me home via the bumpiest of roads:)
8pm: Was that a contraction? Hmm..will wait and see what happens.
10pm: Well I have been having pains every five minutes although they're not very sharp. Will trot along to hospital just in case. Dh, dd1 (then 13) and I hop in the car and pick up my dearest friend en-route.
11:45pm: Been on the fetal heart monitor for the past hour and a half. Darn thing is broken. If I breathe the wrong way it turns off so dh has been holding it in place all this time. The sister assigned to me says the contractions aren't doing anything..that: 'any woman who can be laughing as you are right now is definitely NOT in labour!". The obstetrician just came and checked the tapes, did an internal (OUCH!) and told me to go home as it isn't labour and will fizzle shortly..just Braxton Hicks. Probably be three days or more til anything happens.
12:05am: We are at the lift ready to go down to the car and head home. *PANT PANT PANT* Dang that contraction really hurt. Should I go back and say something..nah..probably just me being silly..she said it wouldn't happen for days.
12:10am: Waiting for hubby to bring the car around. *PANT PANT PANT* OUCH..that one really hurt too! Look over my shoulder and see the Sister who had been monitoring me upstairs having a ciggie. Check out her face to see if she thinks me bent over double and panting means I should stay at the hospital. She stamps out her cigarette, looks at me, and heads back inside. *Shrugs*, obviously doesn't look to her like that was a contraction worthy of staying.
12:30am: Drop bestie home, apologising for keeping her out so late for no reason.

12:45am: Arrive home..so tired, don't even have a cuppa, just all go straight to bed.

1:15am: I can't stand it any more so I leave a snoring hubby and get out of bed. As my feet hit the floor another wave of pain strikes and bizarely I start wanting to push down hard. Damn but these Braxton Hicks are bad. I push to allieviate the pain and dh hears and asks through sleep if I am ok. I let out a big stream of wind and think: "oh that's why I wanted to push..must be bad wind pains".

1:20am: I am in the loo when another contraction strikes. I begin doing that bearing down thing and WHOOSH, out comes the plug. Yahoo:smiliedance:..I really think I might be in labour now. I should go and ring the hospital and let them know I am coming back in.

1:25am: Sitting in the loungeroom on my computer chair now. Lean over to reach for the phone and POP! Oooh..my waters broke. Abandon the phone and start yelling for dh. Yell for a few times but no answer. Once the contraction dies I haul myself to the bottom of the stairs and yell up them to dh once more...kinda more a moan than a yell really.
Nothing. Can hear him snoring his head off. Try moan/yelling again and all of a sudden dd1 throws open her door and looks out in panic. She thinks my moan/yelling is really the sound of the cat being attacked by the dog. Looks curious to see me sitting on the bottom stair.
I beg her to wake dh while I crawl back to the computer chair.

1:26am: Dh flies out and is on the top of the landing trying to get his jeans on. I ask him to ring the ambulance. He asks if we can make it to the hospital by car. I tell him impossible, I can feel the head. Hubby grabs phone and stands immobile. Again I urge him to ring the ambulance. He says: "I have forgotten the number." Very calmly I remind him. I then get to the floor.

1:28am: Hubby is down on the floor with me, phone to ear, talking with the ambulance service. They ask him questions which he passes along and I relay back answers all the while pushing.

1:29am: Can feel we are close. Look over to see dd1 watching me intensely. She hadn't wanted to witness the birth but it looks like she is going to have no choice.

1:30am: The head is almost out..whoosh..now it's out! I tell hubby that I will pant for a minute while he checks to see if cord is wrapped around bub's neck. Thankfully it is clear. One last push and

1:31am: bub shoots out into hubby's waiting hands. Thank goodness it's all over. "What is it?" I ask, "A boy!", he replies. WOOHOO..had been hoping it would be a boy.
The ambulance operator says ambulance on its way..should be about five mins..then hangs up.
I tell dd1 to quickly ring my bestie to let her know. She rings and it takes a while for bestie to get to the phone. She answers and dd1 blurts out the good news. "Why are you ringing me at this time of the night to play a silly prank on me?" she asks. Bub cries at that point. "What was that?" she asks incredulously. DD1 advises her it is her baby brother crying as he has just been born. She suddenly decides to believe dd1 by this point. lol.

1:40am: Ambulance arrives. Bub is cold so they wrap him and get dd1 to sit in the ambulance under a heater with him. They then come back to me and spend the next fifteen minutes massaging my belly as the placenta won't let go.

2:30am: Arrive at hospital and bub goes under another heater while I am sewn up. Hubby then realises he has left the camera, my bag, and the car at home. Takes taxi home and returns with car. That afternoon, as all is well, we pack up and head home only to be greeted by a wet computer chair; a big bloody patch in the middle of the loungeroom floor; and bloodied towels that need to be washed.
It is around this time that it strikes me our ambulance coverage had lapsed. A few weeks later the $1300 bill arrives! Oh well..

Next bub we had ambulance coverage..but made it to hospital with one contraction to spare. Final bub couldn't be bothered coming fast, needs to be induced *shrugs*...never a dull moment though.

Amy:)

[MilkOnTap]

VBAC Homebirth of Sage :)

http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=226529

[Student of Life]

Nathaniel's birth story

Link (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=242251)

[AM]

My latest homebirth.

The birth of Marley, homebirth with a doula (no midwife)

www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=240190

[mamajess]

Hi everyone....I have finally gotten down my stories but I posted in the general birth story section....I'd love to get it in here too but I'm not sure how.....:detective:

Is it something a mod can do?:o


Homebirth stories (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?p=3621978#post3621978)

[Mamalicious]

The home water birth of Malak Ari (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=229940&highlight=Malak+Ari), second baby, first daughter, first homebirth. :D

[bubbabelly]

I dont know to make a link so i will just write the whole thing here!! Sorry its so long...

The way i found out i was pregnant was... My friend rand me up and told me she suspected she was pregnant...
"go to the doctor and get a pregnancy test" i told her but due to a lack of money she couldnt afford a pregnancy test. I told her about this free clinic that does std tests and pregnancy tests and she should go but she didnt want to go alone so i agreed to accompany her and get a pregnancy test too just to make her happy.
"i KNOW im not pregnant but ill go anyway" i said being the supportive person i am...
I peed on the test...waited...and oh my god... TWO LINES... I HAD ONLY HAD SEX ONCE IN THE LAST 7 MONTHS I CANT BE PREGNANT.... We were both pregnant!! and due 4 days apart...

I decided very early on i wanted a homebirth as i had wanted one with my first son but i was living with my mum and a bit nervous about it being my first so opted for a hospital birth. As far as hopital births go it was great, no internals, no monitering, no drugs, no interventions what so ever.

When i was about 16 weeks pregnant i rang up my doula who had been present at hunters birth and asked if she would like to see this baby being bought into the world. Once she agreed i was set on having my dream homebirth but unfortunately couldnt afford a midwife... So i opted for a free birth..

During the next few months i received ALOT of negative opinions towards what i had decided especially from my family who called it "irresponsible"... It made me at times doubt whether i should have a homebirth but at other times more determine to have one to prove them wrong.

I started going to HMA in brisbane, Home midwifery association and met heaps of wonderful people there who made me realise my families attitudes were wrong and its society who makes us scared of birth. I asked my friend brooke to be at my birth and she agreed. She has had both of her children at home.

I was due on March 10th 2009... I woke up on that date... very excited (my son had come on his due date so for some reason i assumed this baby would too) but what i hadnt banked on was waking up with an ear and throat infection. It was horrible. I felt terrible and soon became glad this baby was deciding to stay in there!!! 6 days passed and i began to feel better...

On March the 16th at around 2 am i woke up for no reason and couldnt get back to sleep. I just laid there and thought about what life was going to be like as a single parent with 2 kids. An hour later i got a sudden pain. I instantly knew this was different from the braxton hicks and pre labour i had been having for the last 3 weeks!!! I got up and stacked my dish washer and did a few other things while timing them... 5 minutes apart. At 4:50am i called my doula. I knew this was very early but my doula was on a womens camp that was 2 hours away and with all the pre labour i had been having we thought i may have been quite dialated before actual labour started. At 5:15 i called brooke and asked to come over. I feel that i needed more support as i was alone with my 3 and a half year old son (Hunter).

Brooke arrived about an hour later... and half an hour after that my doula arrived. I found it most comfortable to be in the corner of the kitchen and spent most of my early labour there. Hunter woke up but i decided not to tell him i was in labour as i didnt want him to be excited and it take all day. Brooke took Hunter to the shops at around 10 to buy him a pink milk. During this time i slept and the contractions went away. After about half an hour i woke up and had a really strong contraction. Must have made up for lost time. I continued to have irregular contractions all day. I would have half an hour where they would come every 3 minutes then nothing for 15 minutes. Brooke tried to get me to walk around to speed things up but i whinged because i am quite lazy! haha...

At 4:30ish (not too sure on times) i was sitting down on my bed eating a stir fry brooke had made for me when i felt this big thump inside me and a gush of fluid. I started to cry. Not because it hurt but because it was such a big shock and i felt the babies head drop. The fluid satturated my bed and clothes so i went to the bathroom to get changed but everything just got so intense so quickly. My contractions were very strong and coming about 2 mins apart. We hadnt filled up the birth pool as it was all happening so slowly up until now. All of a sudden had an urgent need to be in the water.

"I want to be in the pool" i said...
"you cant hollie, its too cold" said my doula in a really nice calm tone of voice
"i dont care, i want to be in the f***ing pool and i want to be in there now!!!" i replied...
It seemed like an eternity but Finally the pool was filled.


My contractions were so intense and coming so often but i still had alot of control over my thoughts. I remember thinking back to being told how it is helpful to welcome the contractions rather than fight them so i started (in my head) saying yes yes yes everytime i had a contraction. I laboured in the pool by myself until about 6:30 then we got hunter in but being a typical 3 year old he thought the birth pool had been set up purely for his amusemnt and splashed around and jumped on my legs. The distraction made my contractions so much more intense... finally i screamed... GET HIM OUT... poor hunter.

At 6:55 my body started pushing. I had decided i wouldnt push and would let my body and the baby do that as i had a bad tear with hunter and believe it was the result of pushing. a few minutes later i announced to the room oh god it has a big head!!! My whole pregnancy i had been very concerned i was going to have a bald baby... so at about 7:10 i put my hand up there to feel if it had hair (i couldnt wait)... i then told brooke my baby had hair. at 7:17 i felt the baby shoot out of me. I had expected the head to come out and then with the next contraction the body to follow but nope... the baby had other plans. He went from being all the way in to all the way out. There was no one to catch the baby so he sunk to the bottom of the pool. I looked at brooke and said "GET THE BABY, GET THE BABY"
Brooke calmly got ready to get in the birthpool thinking i was asking her to catch the baby as he came out as i was on all fours...
"NO ITS OUT, ITS OUT, ITS ON THE BOTTOM OF THE POOL, GET THE BABY" I said. I wouldnt say i was stressed just concerned as i knew sudden sounds and movements can make babies take their first breaths under water and i was worried the thump of hittimg the bottom of the pool may have done this to him. My doula couldnt get to him as he had gone underneath me and the clothing i was wearing wasnt making it easy. After a bit of monouvering, My doula passed the baby to me and i sat in the pool with my new little boy on my chest. It took him about a minute to breath but i only know this because i was told. It seemed like 10 seconds to me. We called Hunter over to meet his new little brother and he got in the pool with us.

When the cord stopped pulsating i asked hunter if he wanted to cut it. Hunter looked at me very concerned, held his penis and said no. I think he was a little confused at exactly what we were asking him to cut. Brooke cut the cord and we stayed in the water for a while. The baby had his first boob in the pool.

I felt like i could have birthed the placenta in the pool but didnt want to as my "down there area" felt like it was on fire. I hadnt torn but it still hurt like anything. I had a very bad graze. So i got up out of the pool and birthed the placenta on the toilet.

The baby, hunter and i went to bed where the baby was weighed to find he was a nice 9 pound 1 oz. (1 oz heavier than my son) This was a suprise as a midwife i had seen at 36 weeks had told me the baby was 9 pound then!!! I was expecting over 10 pounds!!! Hunter and i lay in bed and looked at this new baby who had chosen us to be his family. It is one of the best memories i have.


My son was born on the 16th of march at 7:17pm during a massive thunderstorm. I loved my pregnancy, labour and birth. I now have 2 beautiful sons, am a single mum and wouldnt have it any other way!

12 days after the baby was born i finally named him. Roman Finlay Wallis.

I would recommend a homebirth to anyone. Not having any time limits and no strangers at your birth is a wonderful thing and i hope society looses the stigma homebirth carries.

[Freya]

My empowering unassisted birth. The night before I had been having some pains that kept waking me up, one was really bad and I got up to go to the toilet and tripped really badly, broke my laptop, grazed my knees and hurt every muscle in my body.. It was really painful. I sobbed for a while then went back to sleep. I know think that I had been in labor but the fall stopped the contractions from coming.. like as though my body was giving me a break because of the pain I had just endured lol.

So anyways I wake up in the morning feeling fine but feeling a few twinges... I check my cervix to find it is really open and membranes were bulging... I get excited because I know my body is getting ready. But I still think I am a long way off... I called my doula and spoke to her about it and told her about the fall and the twinges I was having. I told her I would call if they turned into anything... they did. They got a little more intense so me and Kaid walked around and around and around the house together with me stopping every now and then to breath through a contraction... After a while he started to irritate me so I thought okay well maybe I am in labor. I called my doula and she said she would get ready and come over, I then called Mum and told her what was happening but not to rush over because it could be hours before anything happens and I didn't want her leaving work unless she had to (new job) then she called my sister to come over and take K off my hands. Not long after my sister arrives, we moved the birth pool into the middle of the dining room and the table out of the way (yes whilst having contractions lol) contractions started to get quite bad then and I was getting hot and cold flushes and feeling really dehydrated so I filled up a bottle of water and drank it whilst once again walking around and around the house breathing through all of my contractions.

Not long after my doula arrived... We decided to fill the birth pool up (lucky we did it then) so whilst it was filling I was leaning on the kitchen bench breathing through each contraction as my doula held a hot water bottle to my lower back it was pure bliss! I then went and sat on the couch and got my sister to ring Mum and tell her what was happening and to be here soon because by then I was starting to realise how fast this was happening. Whilst sitting down I had more contractions but just went with them, I was watching my doula sitting on the other lounge braiding the cord tie it was beautiful, aqua, purple and blue thread. I loved how relaxed everything was...My doula was just sitting their making the tie, Kaid playing and me just breathing through every contraction. No nurses monitoring us, no doctors sticking their nose in... It was just awesome! After a couple of moments I felt the pressure and thought okay he is coming so I decided I wanted to hop int he pool just before I got in I was hit by two full on contractions. They hurt! I just swayed through them whilst holding onto my doula... Then I got into the pool, Kaid started crying because he wanted to hop in too so Hannah took him outside for a walk and I just sat there the water was soooooo good.

Mum walked in and almost instantly the contractions hit harder, I then felt this huge pop and then relief.. My waters had broken. I said to Mum and my doula, he is coming I am not ready they assured me that yes I was ready. Within a few moments my baby was crowning I felt his head, hair wow! My baby has hair! I started to get excited then. Within a few seconds I could feel the head totally out and now his shoulders were coming. It was so surreal I was barely pushing and he was coming out, my doula referred to this as a type of ejection reflex some women can have. He was out! I turned around and there is my little baby laying on the bottom of the pool I scooped him up and put him to my chest. It was love at first sight, he had these huge alert eyes, scrunched up little face and he just stared up at me. I think I remember almost laughing it was such an overwhelming moment. Here I was laying in a birth pool in my dining room with this little being in my arms with my doula taking the photos and Mum by my side. Not long after Hannah and Kaid came in, Hannah couldn't believe that they missed it because she knew I wanted Kaid there but it just happened so quickly! I sat in the pool waiting for the placenta to be birthed... It didn't take long at all and it was coming... Ouch did that hurt! We lay there for a while so bubby could stay attached to his placenta then eventually we tied his cord with the beautiful tie my doula had made and then my sister cut the cord.

I got out of the pool and went and hopped into bed with Kaid and bubby, he had his first feed and I ate some toast and had a cup of tea. We just relaxed while Mum and my doula cleaned up, they started to empty the pool but then the mower man showed up so they had to wait. My doula left and promised to come back later so I stayed in bed for a couple more hours then played with Kaidayn we were rolling around on the floor (yes a few hours after birth lol!). My doula came back later on and we weighed bubby... 9 lbs 2 oz wow! I couldn't believe it! Kaidayn was only 7lb 14 oz and when I was pregnant with him an obstetrician told me he was too big for my pelvis and wanted me to have a C-section... Would love to send him a letter to tell him how WRONG he was, thank god I didn't listen to him hey! So anyways then my doula emptied the pool, we sat around chatting for a while then she left and I went to bed.

It was an amazing day, birth and experience. I would not change a thing. I am so thankful to my doula for supporting me, she is amazing! I only wish every woman could be supported by someone like her. I also thank my mum for being by my side through the emotional rollercoaster that I was on during my pregnancy and for holding my hand as I breathed my baby earthside.

Home birth is amazing, it really is.. every home should have one!

[stepmum1]

Planned one hour long homebirth. Through local publicly funded homebirth program:

http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?p=3717609&posted=1#post3717609

Quite detailed and long. Very empowering experince.

[NonnyMouse]

Finally - my birth story!

http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?p=4409168#post4409168

[headoverfeet]

Just discovered I never posted in here!

Oliver's home water birth. (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=229298&)

[Lillynix]

My home waterbirth story is HERE (http://bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=317780&highlight=sabien) :)

[headoverfeet]

*bump* on light of a few homebirth threads today :)

[BornToBe]

Beautiful stories here. Many thanks to all the ladies who are sharing their experiences.

I'm all teary! :crying: :laughing:

[1+1=5]

The home, water birth of our Toby on August 31st, 2010.

I have to start by saying that fighting for the birth I wanted was totally worth it, worth every bit of drama.

Anyhoo, I had my midwife appointment on my due date (Aug 30) and after taking my BP, jokingly she said she would be seeing me that night. I laughed it off. An hour after my midwives (my home birth middy and my student middy) left, I started to feel some dull back aches. These didn't subside and started building as well as strong tightenings. I was not about to have another posterior labour so I madly started searching the spinning babies website and posting on BH about turning a posterior baby. After some great advice (:D you rock my socks Babymaker), I managed to turn bubs and decided it would be best to go to bed to try and squeeze in some sleep. I fell asleep at 11pm and woke to sharp pains at 3:00.

At this point I got out of bed and started pottering around, making the house ready for the midwives. I figured we would have yet another labour so I got the coffee and tea ready with some biscuits and a fruit platter. I did the few dishes that were laying around, meanwhile stopping every 3 minutes to breathe through the contractions. I walked around the house, bounced and rocked ont he gym ball but found the best relief was to lean against the wall with one leg in front to lean down on.

It would have been around 5:30 when I couldn't stand the pain much more so I woke DH and got him to fill the pool. i managed to find a comfy position on the beanbag while it was filling, I think I may have even slept for a couple of minutes. when the pool was done dh asked if it was hot enough, I jumped up and hopped right in in the middle of a contraction. the relief was instant and beyond awesome. my initial thoughts were "Oh s***, this is so good, I can't believe not all women do this water business". I knew there and then that I was in a good place and that I was going to be okay.

DH messaged the midwives and asked to come as soon as they could, I think this was around 7am. I tried to delay is as long as possible so i didn't have to wake them up too early. we had such long labours (53 and 25 hours) that we presumed this would go on for a while. from what my middy said, she arrived around 7:45 and my student middy was there soon after as well. I'm so glad she made it. As soon as I heard my midwifes car in the driveway, I felt the urge to push. It was the most divine feeling after trying so hard to remain calm, relaxed and focused on the contractions and breathing through them, fighting the urge to claw the paint off the walls with each one.

Pushing is the best part of labour, I can really let it rip. Unlike with DS2, I didn't scream through the pushing but rather did some crazy grunting. It was great. I could feel bubs descending but i didn't believe it as the labour had felt too short :laughing:...then I felt him crowning. I had to reach down to see if i was right, i couldn't believe it, I was so thrilled. Poor dh was running between me and the boys (who were in the next room completely oblivious to what was going on). He couldn't believe it either when the middy said we were about to meet bubs.

When I felt bub's head, I could feel that my waters were still intact which then broke when his shoulders came through. He shot out so fast, he was a little white blurr in the water. My student middy grabbed him and poped him on my chest. he was born at 8:43 am so all up, just under 6 hours of labour. I thought he looked tiny but we later found out he was another 10lber bubba and he was measuring right on track. I'm so proud of our big boys and that I delivered Toby without even a graze.

I delivered the placenta after 5 mins, dh and i had a cuddle and then just in time, DS2 wondered in and got introduced to his little brother. DS1 soon followed and it was one big love fest for the next 20 minutes. I had a quick shower and bubs joined me in bed after. MY bed :goodvibes:

He is the most beautiful baby with a great set of lungs that got a great work out once he came to after his birth. he is very cuddly and loves kisses and he is only 2 days old. I love watching his little eyes roll to the back of his head when i stroke his little face or kiss his little cheeks :goodvibes:. oh and he has been a fantastic feeder since day one too.

what an amazing experience, it was worth the fight to have it just perfect and it was. no needles, no internals, no drugs and no interventions. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.
This was beyond what either of us could have imagined. I thought i was being optimistic when I wanted a 12 hour labour, I got a 6 hour one instead with a lot less pain than i had expected. wow.

[headoverfeet]

Naw!!! Another HUGE Congratulations I'm so happy you got the birth you planned :goodvibes: and once again, enjoy that babymoon :kiss:

[Tam-I-Am]

That is such an awesome birth story, A! Well done, congratulations, and how lovely :goodvibes: :cloud9:

[CluckySC]

What a wonderful story! made me teary :yelclap: Thank you so much for sharing and so happy for you and your (now bigger) family :D

[scarymarygoldfish]

Thank you so much for sharing. Absolutely beautiful.

[Butterflies&Hurricanes]

I woke up at 4am to a gush of fluid when my waters broke. Strangest sensation! With both boys I had AROM so this was all new and very annoying as it just wouldn't stop. Contractions started half an hour later and were pretty mild and 10min apart. Decided to call midwife at 5am as previous labour was only 3 hours 45 minutes and middie had an hour and a half to travel up to me. She said would get ready to go but not hurry.
Hubby and i stayed in bed and dozed for a while. At 6am hubby's best mate called to warn him about chaos on the freeway because of 3 truck pile up - thinking he was going to work... instead it would be our middie who would be stuck in the traffic.
Decided to get up and bounce on the ball. updated FB and Bubhub :p and enjoyed a cuppa whilst contactions started coming every 7 or so minutes. managed to breathe through all of them without too much hassle. hubby filled the pool but it was taking AGES as we have such a small pump so the water pressure is pretty crap.
Middie arrived somewhere between 7:30 and 7:45 - not too sure. Contractions started coming every 5 minutes. and then faster - kind of lost track of timing them. Middie said I could get in whenever I felt like it but I was worried about slowing things down LOL But I got in anyway and immediately hit transition. I thought it but didn't say anything but was shaking and kept thinking 'I cant do this'
My body started pushing and i started grunting along. I could actually feel her move down through the birth canal with each contraction. I had never felt that before - at least not consciously.
Eventually I felt her start to crown, only to have her slip back up when the contraction ended - I actually begged her not to out loud :p Another 2 or so contractions and her head was out - relief. Another contraction and nothing. Her shoulders wouldn't come out. Another and again nothing. Middie then helped her out with the next contraction and I scooped her up. She was here! 8:14am
We cuddled for ages and then contractions started again for the placenta. Oh so painful! But out it came. Cord was pretty short and middie thinks that might be why she struggled to come out.
Once out of the pool she latched on perfectly and has been feeding like a pro ever since.
But OMG the afterpains are killing me. :crying: They actually make me want to vomit they are that bad.
but my little lady is here - one week overdue - yet not at all overcooked and still covered in thick vernix.

Weight - 3.81kg
Length - 56cm
Head Circ - 37cm

[Tam-I-Am]

Oh, BEAUTIFUL B&H!

Congratulations, and welcome Sienna.

Try magnesium, and nurofen, and a hot water bottle for the afterpains. They're AWFUL :hugs:

[headoverfeet]

Congratulations and welcome earthside little one, hope your enjoying a milky babymoon :cloud9:

:hugs: for your after pains! I hope they pass quickly.

[Dreambeliever]

:smiliedance: oh wow! congratulations!! :hugs:

such a wonderful birth story! so glad your little princess is here :cloud9:

[spicemum]

Fantast B&H and Congratulations :yelclap:.

I just had to tell you how much hope your story has given me :sunshine:. Thank you so much for sharing.

[scarymarygoldfish]

Congratulations Butterflies. I'm so glad it was a perfect birth. All the best for your little one and family XOXOXOXO

[demeter]

Here's my most recent homebirth...
http://eleanorsuc.blogspot.com/
:cheerleader2::highfive::cheerleader1:

[headoverfeet]

I woke up on the 27th pretty upset once again at 41+5 I was pretty much just wanting a baby getting out of me experience, and that's exactly what I got..
My posts that morning brought up how over it I was, I considered visiting the IMs in Fremantle for a VE and a S&S Rob was having to take time off work because I was no longer coping emotionally, I knew all the risks of the above and doubted I would actually get one but decided to go in anyway. Clare was wonderful despite freaking me out by not being able to find Ella's heartbeat for a good 5 minutes, my heart sunk into confusion, I knew she was ok and Clare finally found it, back where she started looking. She than told me about a few births where the women had to consciously go into labour, she told me to just go home and have a baby- best advice ever! We got the boys ice cream on the way home and once there I retreated into bed for a much needed sleep..

As I slept I started having surges, they pulled me out of slumber around 2:30pm and I decided this was it, I was going to have this baby. Between early surges I prepped dinner, side stepping- plastering a wheat pack to my pelvis when needed and doing a little dance, Rob was playing with the boys outside. Once dinner was prepped I started pottering around with last min birth prep, my surges died down during this time, Rob had topped up the air in the pool and I needed his help to fit the liner over it, once that was done I moved the mattress back into the room and set up a nest for after/during the birth if needed. I then moved into the lounge to sit on a fit ball Rob had grabbed from a friend that morning, surges built up during this time and I continued the wheat pack routine- reheating it every 3-4 surges.

Rob finished off dinner and we ate, he showered and popped the boys to bed it was during this that I decided it was time to retreat into my birth room, after lighting my many candles and posting for anyone else who wanted to to light them as well, I spent time leaning over the fit ball in front of my little alter of candles, birth beads and beautiful notes I had shared with a group of women who were sharing the same estimated due date month, I listened to music during this time using my headphones, Rob popped in and asked if I wanted him with me I said I was happy alone but asked him to heat my wheat pack for me he brought it back and left me to it. I switched between leaning over the fit ball and sitting on it, I can only note times looking back now at my posts and it was at 7:41pm that I climbed into the pool, Rob was clearly dubbed hot water man and he bailed and added hot water as needed (which was often) the boys woke up not long after this, Oliver first thanks to the wild storm that had descended on our world. He napped on Robs arms until Connor woke and they were both up for the birth. I had switched my music to the stereo once I got in the pool and was happily humming along between surges.

It's amazing looking back how with it I was for this birth, thinking about it makes me wonder if the responsibility that comes with planning a free birth subconsciously made me more aware of what was going on around me, making sure I peed numerous times and I found myself checking my vagina for progress about 5 times and was pretty happy and encouraged to discover the first time that I could only feel about 2cm of cervix left, I knew she wasn't far away, if I gave a little push I could feel my waters bulging so I knew they were still intact. During this time my surges kept getting stronger and stronger, I had been doing the classic horse lips early on but had now changed to my previously tried with Oliver's birth AHHHing during them numerous times, I kept having to remind myself to keep it low and loose and that loose lips = a loose vagina! I reached the rest silently between surges stage and it was bliss though I noted I was beginning to fight them and ran different birth quotes through my head. I decided I needed a bit of womanly love and called a friend after smsing her that "this is insane, want drugs" she told me exactly what I needed to hear "no you don't" she offered to chat with me and I jumped at the chance I called her at 9:08 straight after a surge, our phone call lasted exactly 1 min before the next surge hit. I tried goingto the toilet after this as I felt a bit poopy but nothing came out and I bolted back to the pool.

Not long after this my surges reached that forever after forgotten all time strength and I started saying "come on baby" as my surges built up, my back was killing me despite her anterior position, other quotes from this time included "Rob I can't do this" numerous times, his reply was always the same "yes you can, you are doing it" at times I replied saying "I don't want too, just get her out" he would tell me I was nearly there and I knew he was right, I remember telling him that "next time I wanted drugs, I wanted an epidural, no I wanted a booked caesarean- stuff waiting around till 41+5 again" I was checking my progress every 2-3 surges at this stage, as I found it encouraging, my back was really hurting at this stage and I was moaning to Rob how much I also started feeling really hot and he started fanning me with a wet terry flat nappy that was flicking me with water (not his best birth support moment) I yelled at him and he grabbed a dry one. It was just after this I decided to try and break my own waters but I couldn't get a grip and just ended up with fingerfulls of mucus, my back felt like it was on fire though strangely I knew it wasn't as intense as Olivers birth my AHHing was getting grunty mid-end of surges and I asked Rob between surges to tell me if he could see the purple line in my butt crack, yep even during my own birth my curiosity had me asking questions.

After checking myself, I felt pretty dilated, I couldn't feel much of a cervix if any at all and I knew I was waiting for the fetal ejection response I felt during Oliver's birth and much different to the pushing reflex I felt during Connor's but I was getting impatient with the intensity so decided to try pushing to see how it felt, the relief was instant and cupping myself I began pushing, looking back it only took about 3-5 pushes but they were really hard work, I pooped and told Rob to "scoop" but he couldn't see any, I felt her waters bulging at my vagina and I panted twice before decide that was hurting too much and I'd rather deal with a tear, one more push and she went (as Oliver put it) pachow! out into the pool, I managed to catch her and scooped her under her arms and I bought her to the surface, I could feel she had no cord around her neck with my fingers straight away, knowing her waters broke as she was born but not being able to look myself I asked Rob if her face was clear and he leant over and removed a piece of caul, she started coughing straight away and I knew she sounded a bit chestyer than Oliver did due to her quick arrival from my lack of patience, she started crying on and off and didn't stop for a good while.

As I sat in the pool surges started up again and I knew the placenta wasn't far off, after 2 pushes it arrived with me saying "thank god for that" probably took less than 5 minutes Rob scooped it into a container and we got out the pool and into our little nest. We spent time greeting her and I quickly posted a photo to the July Mummas thinking it went onto my main wall it wasn't until much later when I went to check that I realized. I spent ages trying to get her to attach to my breast to help with the bleeding, I knew I was fine but wanted that back up happening she finally attached about 30mins after being born I'd say. I spent this time drinking what Rob later pointed out was 3 bottles of water. Rob boiled the cord tie and scissors and he tied and Connor cut the cord, it was pale, limp and cold at this point with a few blue clots. Oliver was quiet interested in the placenta asking questions about it and talking about how baby Ella came out of Mummies vagina, he was also keen to check how my bleeding was going as I kept an eye on a few gushes and clots.

Rob went and made me a peanut butter sandwich (soo yummy given I hadn't been able to eat white bread without feeling nauseous for the past 5 months) after I ate we weighed her, tiny at 3.5kg (7lb7oz) smaller than Connor by 200g and just 2lb smaller than Oliver had been, so not my predicted huge baby and way off my last scans estimate at 34 weeks of a bigger than Oliver baby especially since she went past that date by nearly 2 weeks. When Rob went to scoop her out of the blanket to weigh her he scooped some meconium too so we headed for the shower after that, climbed into bed and Rob took the boys to bed just before 2am, I spent the night baby gazing, napping and boobing!

The boys handled the birth quiet well, Oliver didn't leave Robs side once he woke and I chatted to him between surges telling him that I was ok, and that Mummies vagina had to get big so that the baby could come out and that sometimes that hurt, I reminded them both of the videos we had watched on Daddy's computer and they were both excited to have our baby soon, both of them would cover their ears when I was AHHing and Connor at times left the room to go play, which was what he was doing when Ella arrived, Rob called him in straight away after. They have both been loving her non-stop since she arrived and have been giving her lots of love which is beautiful to see.

[V8]

Loved the birth story, thanks so much for sharing :)

[BornToBe]

Amazing story you amazing woman! :celebrate:

[MilkOnTap]

My Unassisted VBAC HomeBirth of Rivi Cecilia


I have no idea how to begin writing this birth story – the birth itself was so incredibly fast that there isn’t really much to recount; but the pregnancy was a different story!



The whole way through the pregnancy I had felt uncomfortable. I truly believed that something was going to go wrong. After having two previously uneventful pregnancies, I really had no reason to feel this way – but I couldn’t shake it. Then at 34wks pregnant I began itching. Blood tests indicated that I may have obstetric cholestasis, a disease which I was not prepared to battle with in order to gain my second HBAC (Home Birth After Caesarean). I began preparing to meet my belly babe by 37wks. Even so, in the hopes that I may somehow beat the disease, I changed my diet, began acupuncture and chiropractic care, and within three weeks my blood tests had returned back to perfectly normal levels! I continued having blood tests every week and still, they were back to normal. My plans for HBAC were back on the table!



In those 3 short weeks that I had began preparing to meet my baby before my EDD, I had completely lost focus on allowing my belly babe to arrive in her own time, as I had began using natural induction techniques in a vain attempt to bring on labour. Needless to say, they didn’t work! Hundreds of dollars spent on acupuncture, naturopathy, herbs, tinctures and tonics… but my baby came when it suited her best. And I’m so thankful that she did!



By the time 41wks rolled around I gave in. I gave it to the gods, completely surrendered and stopped all induction techniques. Those final 5 days of pregnancy were bliss! My head didn’t feel so foggy, I didn’t feel any pressure to meet an expiry date, and I spent quality time with Grant and the kids. I can honestly say that by forgetting about WHEN I was going to meet my baby, I allowed myself to relax enough for her to make her perfect debut.



When labour did finally kick in at 41+5, I was completely ready for it. Grant had began his leave from work and I felt supported and assured. Jedd and Sage had unfortunately had gastro two nights previously and Grant woke up in the early hours of the morning with vomiting and diarrhoea. I woke up a few hours later with a little bit of vomiting, but mostly diarrhoea. Thankfully Jedd and Sage had recovered well and were booked into daycare that day. So after dropping them off early, we hopped into bed for a couple of hours of catch-up sleep. This is when my surges began – as soon as I laid down! They came every 10-15 minutes, and I would wake and rock my body through it, then lay back down for some more sleep. After 2hrs of rest I had a hot shower and the surges became a bit more intense – so I did what anyone does when they’re expecting to have a baby and went straight back to bed for another 2hrs! I kept this pattern up all day and finally got out of bed at 4pm.



I called my friend Erin to come around to hang out with me while Grant went to collect Jedd and Sage from daycare and grab some take away for them all for dinner. Erin arrived at around 5:30pm and we chatted away in the kitchen for an hour. I had to stop chatting when the surges hit, lean on the kitchen bench and rock my body through them. Whenever we stopped talking, Erins 5 month old son would gabble away – it was so sweet! Almost like he was talking to my unborn babe, and it reminded me what this was all about; meeting my baby! In that hour my surges picked up quite a bit. When Erin arrived they were still 9-12 minutes apart, but by the time she left at 6:20pm they were coming every 2-4 minutes and lasting for about a minute each.



Because Sages birth had gone on for 24hrs, I still felt like I had a long way to go and so texted Jo (my midwife) to let her know where I was at. She asked if I wanted her to come over yet – I ummed and ahhed and finally said that she should have some dinner first and take her time, but to head over when she was ready. I texted Britt (my photographer) at the same time and she arrived first. Just as well really – I’m glad she got some photos of me in labour at all!



Britt arrived just after 7pm and I was well and truly in labourland. My candles were lit, my birth affirmation posters were on the wall and the birth pool was being filled. None of it meant anything at the time though – my body had a job to do and my focus was on bringing baby earthside. I swayed my body through each surge and after a few more rushes went to sit down on the toilet.



Squatting down was the most amazing feeling – I rocked my body forwards and backwards through the surges, feeling every motion and movement within. Then the most incredible thing happened – I felt my body pushing! I had never felt this before, the intense urge to bear down. There was no fighting it, my scarred uterus was pushing my baby earthside. The very same uterus that had been sliced open for a caesarean; the uterus that had ruptured from a cornual ectopic pregnancy… this uterus was so strong and powerful that it hugged and squeezed my belly babe earthside.



I went back to the floor beside the birth pool and got down on all fours – this pushing felt so good! I could hear my voice rising and my face tensing, so focused on relaxing my jaw and lowering my voice. I reached down and could feel my babies head. The pool was too hot to get in, so whilst Grant bucketed hot water out and put cold water in I kept on all fours, rocking and feeling my body gently embracing my belly babe.



Finally I couldn’t stand it any longer – I NEEDED to be in that birth pool! It felt close enough to being the right temperature so I just hopped straight in and discovered that it was perfect. Time to meet my baby!



Grant took his shirt off and hopped in the pool with me. Three or four more pushes and Rivi made her way earthside into Daddies waiting hands! He lifted her straight up to my chest and I closed my arms around her little body. Love.



Five minutes later Jo came running in, and ten minutes after that I birthed the placenta. Everything was perfect and exactly as it should be. I felt empowered, amazed that I had achieved my second VBAC and in awe of it happening so quickly! I had never expected to have such a short labour and birth – it really took me by surprise. Rivi weighed 9lb 11oz, measured 57cm long and had a head circumference of 34cm. She was far too long for the 0000 outfits that I bought her and went straight into 000!



Rivi is now 5 days old. She is such a dream and so easy to love. Rivi has completed our family and taught me so much the last 10 months; patience more than anything else! But also her birth has taught me how important it is for women to be able to continue birthing at home assisted by a midwife. Even though Rivi arrived before my midwife did, homebirth needs to remain an option for women to choose when deciding where they wish to give birth. My daughters deserve the right to choose birth at home with a midwife and I will continue to write my letters, rally and protest for their maternal rights to be protected. If I don’t, who will.

[Lillynix]

My planned freebirth story is HERE (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?450465-Miles-Christopher-An-Unassisted-birth-story) :)

[fai firinne]

I never thought that this would be me!
4 years ago my three daughters starting saying "Mummy, please can we have another baby?"

My husband and I were clucky too, so we started trying.

We had a miscarriage at 11 weeks ,which was such a bittersweet journey for us all.

When I realised I was pregnant again, I was so guarded. I never really allowed myself to fully enjoy and embrace the pregnancy - I was guarding my heart against the pain of loss.

I remember thinking "I won't fully relax until I have a live baby in my arms."

Late into the pregnancy, I found I was still struggling with fear. As a 4th-time homebirther and mature woman of 43, and after supporting nearly 100 other women through birth as a doula, you'd think I'd 'have it together' a tad more. But no, I was as vulnerable as any woman is when she goes through birth.

I became aware of the fact that I was holding on to fear related to the miscarriage. Deep down inside, I started mentioning this to God in my thoughts and prayers (I'm a Christian, this is just something that's normal to me.)

People starting sending me Blessingway messages, little notes written in cards and letters, which I started pinning up on my board in my birth corner. Again and again they were sharing verses from the Bible about fear - do not fear, I am with you, I will help you, my love will drive away all the fear, that kind of thing.

Finally at about 39 weeks it occured to me that if God was sending me all these messages about 'do not fear' surely that would mean I don't have anything to be scared of!

I really needed this reassurance.

I had a beautiful blessingway at 39 weeks. I had a massage, a footbath in fragrant herbs, and the women gave me blessingway beads and candles. My lovely 12 year old daughter painted the most amazing henna design on my tummy. Flowers in my hair. Everything this aging hippy child could want.

At exactly 40 weeks on the dot, I noticed some cramps happening at about 10 pm.
Kept schtum and went to bed.

Tightenings all night, and noticed some mucous plug passing when I went to the toilet. More tightenings all night, but I stayed in bed, kept to myself, just getting onto hands and knees when they happened.

In the morning I got up and asked dh to start pumping up and filling the pool. I kneeled over my birth ball and tied a heat pack round my tummy. I knew I was dilating and the pangs were a bit more painful that I expected.


My three daughters woke up and began to notice there was unusual activity going on and had eyes big and round.


Notice though, at this point I had not admitted to myself that I was in labour. I had not had a wee chat with God and celebrated the fact with him. I hadn't said as much to my dh. I didn't announce it to my children, I just let them figure it out.
I was playing safe. I was being guarded. I wasn't fully embracing it and entering into the wonderfulness of the moment. In case. In case - of what? In case it didn't work out well? The fears and tentativeness from pregnancy were now influencing my labour.

At 10 am we called my mum, doula friend and midwife friend to join us. My doula friend walked in to see me chatting and eating breakfast, then standing to lean forward for contractions. Her impression was that my body was way ahead of where my head was at. And she was right. My body was getting on with birthing this baby. But my mind was still trying to protect itself from - what? Something going wrong?

If I was serving as doula for a mama in this head space, I would gently challenge her to talk about her fears and doubts so she could let them go and get on with enjoying her birth, moment by moment. But I couldn't seem to do this for myself.
I decided to turn on some music.

The first strains of an amazing song by a Scottish band called Iona filled the room.
"... and here I am, out on the edge of the world ..."

The words and the melody so captured exactly where I was at, in this most sacred, place where even though we are surrounded by familiar, loving people, birth is something we do alone, in a mystical, amazing place ... on the edge of the world.

The flood gates released and I had a big cry and wanted to hug everybody.



"I'm crying because I'm happy!" I blubbed to my doula friend. She said, "I know."

Finally I could admit to myself and everyone that I was in labour and going to have a baby!

There was another song that I'd heard for the first time during my pregnancy, that gave me goose bumps when I heard it - "Healing Rain" by Michael W Smith. And now it was playing for my birth - "Healing rain is falling down ... I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid." Just those words, over and over, like a mantra.

Things then ramped up significantly. Good strong 'Puffing Billy' contractions. My doula brain was noting with satisfaction how the contractions picked up right after the emotional release. See that's how it is when a doula give birth, you can't quite separate your subjective experience from the objective observer's view!

I starting eyeing the pool. It was a fantastic deep one, much bigger than the usual Made in Water La Bassine. I loved it and climbed in.

My last three births were not painful. They weren't without exertion and effort and a fair bit of discomfort, but not what I'd call pain.

I didn't expect my 4th birth to be painful. But that's what this was - painful. I think the fact that I was lagging behind mentally, and not 'in the moment' with what my body was doing, meant that I wasn't in the Zone - that amazing labour-land place where you go really internal, a place of deep relaxation. I wasn't getting the usual rush of endorphins as a result - and I was feeling every bit of it, with not as much hormonal pain relief as the previous births. Perhaps. Birth is such a mystery, can we ever know?

I kneeled in the pool, my arms draped over the soft side of it. You couldn't get more comfortable a position in which to give birth. But I was not comfortable. I was quite a quiet birther during my previous births. Not this time. I started to roar, to really yell my head off during the contractions. One hit like a sledge hammer and I yelled and yelled. I was vaguely aware of my birth helpers encouraging me to lower the pitch - no chance - all I could do was yell! The cat was sleeping on the couch - her ears went back and she stalked off looking most affronted. The girls thought was hilarious. They were watching, rapt - not at all fazed by the din I was making. My doula friend thought I was in transition at that point.

[fai firinne]

That was a horrible contraction. That sucked. I am not doing that again. No way. There has to be a better way. I needed to totally soften and yield and surrender if I didn't want to get totally dumped by the next wave.




My hands led the way. I laid my hands out, like someone meditating. If I could keep my hands open, I could keep my body open. My mum kindly thought I wanted someone to hold my hands, but actually I needed them open.

Sure enough the next contraction, though extremely intense, was not as bad.

It felt so tumultuous to me, and I thought I was noisy - but when I looked at the video later, it all seemed quiet and calm. It doesn't reveal the storm that was going on inside me.


I could feel my baby coming down. This was my first pregnancy with a posterior baby - who absolutely refused to budge no matter how much walking or OFP or Chiro I did. I was pretty sure he was a boy! I think he turned anterior somewhere on his journey.

He had a plan. I started feeling a ring of fire. I thought, heck, I've never had this with any of the other births! Those births felt good. This just hurt. I knew his head was nowhere near the perinuem, but already I was feeling stretching that really hurt.



It was an incredible experience to try to be so soft and open and trusting in the face of pure pain. This is the miracle that women do when they give birth and the reason why you are all AMAZING!!!




He started to emerge. I felt him suck back up again. And come down another way. "He's being very gentle with you," said my midwife friend as she watched his manouvrers. It really felt that this little lad had a plan. It did not feel very gentle to me, though!


There was a long gap between contractions. There was so much pressure up near my urethra. It hurt and it burned as he crowned and emerged.


My mind was still lagging behind. What - he's out? I was mentally scrambling to catch up. For so long I had looked forward to the experience of being in labour again, of giving birth again - and now I felt as if it was all slipping through my fingers.


He was in my arms, his caul still intact. Take the membranes off his face. Don't help. Let me do it myself. The cord is too short. I have to stand up and de-tangle him. I want to be cuddling him, not threading him about like a football. Oh baby, I'm coming.


Finally we are settling down in the pool, I am holding him in my arms. My focus is not absolutely absorbed in him. My brain is fried. My attention is scattered. I have this soft little being snuggled in my arms and I am not fully in my body, in myself for him.

I have a gulp of lovely warm After Birth tea, sweetened with honey. The placenta is easily born as I sit in the pool. The blood loss is hardly anything. I think the tea is good!


I'm resting on the couch, baby in my arms. The girls meet him, touch him, stroke him, kiss him. He's lovely.


My man has tears in his eyes. Seeing him born so gently brings up issues of his own violent birth, back in the days when they strapped his mother in stirrups, extracted the baby, strung him up by the heels, slapped him on the bum, took him away from his mother, poured acid into his eyes, circumcised him etc etc. It was deeply moving for him to see a little son enter the world so gently and easily.


Even if it hurt like heck for his mama!


They made up the Post Natal Bliss herbal bath for me and I climbed into it with my little baby son, the placenta still attached to him, floating in a bowl next to us. So there was me, baby boy and placenta all enjoying this blissful herbal soak together.

Soon we all de-camped to our bedroom and we decided to cut the cord eventually, just for practicality. We let baby Rory know what we were going to do, said a little prayer. We tied it with colourful plaited embroidery thread cords and cut the cord. All the girls had a hold of their new baby brother. They were aged 12, 10 and 8 and were delighted to be at the birth 'when they had a brain', as they say.

He was born at 1.32 pm, about 15 hours after the first niggle, and after a few hours (2? 3? of active labour) - that went by so fast I could hardly get my head around it.
He was my biggest baby at all of 8 pounds!! Just a spoonful of butter or so bigger than the girls.

This was my first boy, first posterior baby, first birth in Australia, first birth in our own home, first actual in-water birth and first baby to be born in the caul. And - the first birth that I can honestly say, actually HURT.

Losing our little one a couple of years ago was a special and sacred journey all of its own. It changed me and took away some of my innocence. It made me vulnerable, perhaps even weaker in some ways. I realise this, but I am not sorry. This is just part of the beauty and wonder and wisdom of life.

Realising that I was holding onto fear, that I was not able to fully relax, that I could not whole-heartedly embrace the pregnancy or even the experience of labour, that I was not fully in the moment or even fully in my body - does not fill me with regret or 'what ifs' or 'if onlys'. It just is what it is, and I am thankful for the experience, and what it's taught me about my own human frailty. Being able to love and accept myself, and love life, - even though it is less than ideal and I am less than perfect.

I feel so blessed to have a baby at 43 and to be breastfeeding him at age 44, and for my girls to have the experience with me.

This little baby was born safely and in the end, I had nothing to fear. I had wonderful support from my birth team, who allowed me the space to make the journey myself, which is all I wanted.

My midwife friend was truly there as my friend - she did not bring any of her gear into the house, not even a doppler. She asked me afterwards - "Did I do a good job of leaving off my midwife hat?" I said she did.

We called him Rory and used the Irish spelling, Ruaidhri. His second name is Zephaniah, because of a special verse in that prophetic book that says,

"Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands hang limp.
The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love
he will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:16-17
And so this little baby boy emerged in his caul and bounded into our lives, and we can't imagine what it was like before we had him.