CC during the day 12months Help!

[isis]

hi

i was against controlled crying when baby was very young but after trying everything else I'm getting a bit desperate and beleive it will be important to help him learn to sleep. he is 12months old and 12 kgs - so getting way to heavy to carry. By doing some crying at night (but staying with him or going in and out he doesgo to sleep by himself (some nights better than others but this hasn't worked in the day and I feel i need to be more regimented.

I tried baby whisperer pick up put down method (ie stay with him just lay him back down when he gets up) it worked the first week but still took 20 to 40mins and i had to keep going in a month later.

has anyone any advice or experience to share on cc during the day for a very persistent baby (he gets really upset) but i know he is smart and probably knows I will come in. Has it not worked for anyone. he is almost walking so wondering if i should wait till then when he is very tired from running around! i have been carryinghim to sleep but it can still take a while and he is too heavy and i'm pregnant again so I cna't continue this!

Thanks in advance

[Nan]

Hi isis. :wave:
Welcome to bubhub! Congratulations on your pregnancy! I found when doing CC with my daughter that day and night should be the same so that she didn't get confused.
Do you use CC at night? If so, do the same thing during the day.
If you don't need to, I'd try putting him down to sleep, giving cuddles etc & soothing voice and leave him for time interval nominated by you. You know how much you can handle. I'd suggest 5 mins. If he is still crying go in & resettle, then leave it for another 5 mins. Resettle. Remember to assess the cry. Is it constant or are there silent breaks in between that let you know that he is getting the idea? If he is still crying constantly keep going, if not, maybe leave it a little longer before the next resettling.

Hope this helps.

[KatiesMum]

Yep - I agree with Nan

Yes it will take a while before he gets the idea that he is supposed to go to sleep by himself .... and it is very hard on you to listen to him cry!!!!

I would do 5 - 7 minutes (and time them as what is 5 minutes of crying feels like 20mins) and remember that he will eventually go to sleep. It might take 1 or 2 hours the first night, but should quickly reduce when he gets the hang of it.

Also remember that other factors will also come into it - teething / unwell etc so once he gets the hango of it these things may interupt. listen to his cry (you will get to know which ones are true distress if you dont already)

Good luck.....

[ShadyCharacter]

I don't personally see the need to 'teach' a baby to sleep... its not really a learnt talent!

If you can't carry him, why not lay down with him? At sleep time in our house, we just jump into bed together and DS goes off to sleep without a fuss knowing his Mum is there. When he was younger he would sometimes have a whinge (or even cry) about it, but as long as I was there with him to comfort and sooth him, I don't see much of a problem with it (its still hard though!).

I would either lay and read a book until he fell asleep, or go to sleep with him. Peaceful and relaxing for everyone :)

[isis]

thanks for responses. shady character I would love it if i could lay down with him but if i am with him he thinks its play time and will not sit still especially if he is not in his cot!!! beleive me i have tried everything gentle i can and i truly beleive he just needs to get used to going to sleep in a different way (ie without me)i'm happy to stay with him while he is in the cot but sometimes i think it makes him worse as he wants me to pick him up and even stoking him seems to stimulate him.

anyway had some success today and yesterday he took a while and some crying to go to sleep but he did eventually and i did stay with him and gradually i will leave the room and let him cry - thought it was too much of ashock to go from being carried to being left on his own.

and yes i did cry it out to get him to sleep at night (and stopped picking him up at night) again stayed with him and i still need to go in and out but not nearly as bad as the day.

anyway i'll keep at it -just nice to know others understand and support - i have tried everything i really think personality has a lot to do with it!!! i did breastfeed to sleep but i know others who have done the same things and their babies still go to sleep no problems on their own or just some gentle encouragement. well i'm prepared for the next one!!!:thumbsup:

[Sharai]

I have used CC with both my boys and it worked well. Persistance although frustrating did work in the end. I love my boys so much and I believe CC worked for my case. CC is not for everyone and I respect that.
I also have a CD on repeat with nice soothing music on it to distract them and it fudges out any accidentle noices I make during the course of the day.
I also used the Feed Play Sleep routine and slowly stretched it out and watched for tired signs of jerky movements and irritability. To then put them to bed. Night time bath was the first key to getting the little one down for me then a massage ( this can still be done at any age ) some quiet time with parents before bed, soft soothing music, I sometimes stroked their faces and gave them an old t shirt I had been wearing so they still had the smell of mummy near them.

I listened for the types of crying and did the CC as follows.
cuddle baby pat on back talk softly saying its bed time.
And that mummy had to go and do ( whatever it was ) and that I'll be back soon to check on him.

If he cried I'd wait 2 mins before I'd go in.
I would not pick him up but re tucked him in talked softly that I loved him and that its time for a little rest. I'd walk out after this.

If he cried I'd wait 4mins
and repeat what I did at 2mins.

If he cried I'd wait 6mins
and repeat

If he cried I'd wait 8 mins
and repeat

If he cried I'd wait 10 mins
After this stage I'd pick him up probably walk around in the room with him give him some milk or a little water and calm them down.
Once they are calm and look to be falling asleep in your arms again I'd put him down and pat or stroke him silently.
I would then walk out the room after this.
I have the quiet music on all the time through this and a darkend room maybe with a night light.

If they started crying again I'd start from the beginning.

but hey it worked for me, it might work for you.
But again this method is not for everyone.

Cheers

Lea

[CharlisMummy]

Hi

I did CC with my DD and it only took one night for her to put herself to sleep.

I dont use it in the day though, I BF her to sleep. She has 1 day sleep after lunch.

[coogeemum]

I'm in the process of doing CC with my 1 year old out of desperation too. Enough is enough. I'm up to day 7 of CC and have been pleased with the results so far. On the third night he started sleeping through. We had 4 consecutive nights of sleeping through, followed by a night with an easy resettle at 1am and then a night waking at 4.30am (we gave his morning bottle and he slept until 7am). Tonight he took 3 minutes, no screaming, just talking and one last call out before silence. I must admit the day sleeps are not going as well. With those we are still having crying up to 30 mintues each time.

[coogeemum]

OK - an update on our CC effort. He slept through again last night 7.30 - 6.30. Today his day sleeps were much better too. I only had to go in once. What seems to be working the best for us is ONLY going in according to our agreed schedule if the crying is constant and intense. If there are gaps in the crying we ignore the schedule of going in. When this occurs he is close to getting himself to sleep. Hope this works for you too!

[kate mac]

I used cc out of sheer desperation when my guys were 13 months...

I did a modified version (I couldn't keep track of all the different times) and started them on 10 mins... We would do our normal going to sleep routine (10 minute warning, read some stories, time for bed) put them down, and let them cry for 10 mins... go in and settle, and leave the room when quiet or after 10 mins...

It took 2 days, with only Ava screaming - Franco cried for 5 mins the first time, and went to sleep.

The big thing for me was having DH's support (finally, after him saying "oh, just put them in bed with me so you can get some sleep...")
Once we agreed on what we were going to do, we did it, and both babies have slept through ever since... day sleeps are now about 2-3 hours (they used to be 45 mins max)