Seeking Asian Donor - NZ

[Toni.middle]

Dear everyone,

After a number of unsuccessful IVF cycles and one Egg Donor cycle using my sister's eggs it appears that neither of us have a high enough egg production count to proceed with either of our eggs. This has meant DH and I are now trying to find almost the impossible...an Asian Egg Donor.

I am Chinese and hubby is European/Kiwi but it is important to me to try and firstly look to an Asian donor (not necessarily Chinese but would be great if possible). We have been happily married for 6 years and after some working abroad and "waiting for the right time to start" we have now been trying for the past two and a half years to create our own family without any success.

We live in Auckland but wherever you are in New Zealand, if you are in your late 20s to mid 30s, are Asian and are wonderful enough to at least look into helping us, we would love to hear from you. All travel and medical expenses will be reimbursed.

Please email me on toni.middle1@yahoo.co.nz or you can contact:
Donor Egg Coordinator
Fertility Associates Auckland
Ph: (09) 520 9520 ext 68123
Email: donoregg.faa@fertilityassociates.co.nz
...if contacting the clinic please quote reference "DNA" so they know it is us you are looking to donate for.

I look forward to hearing from you and joining us on this hopefully very rewarding ride.

[MumsieMel]

Have you had any luck Toni?

[Toni.middle]

Hi Mel,

No luck so far but I suppose it is early days. It's my 35th birthday tomorrow and it also marks 2 and a half years of trying so hoping that we get some response soon. I know that there are others out there that have been trying for a lot longer but I don't think it makes it any easier no matter how long or short the journey has been.

Thanks for asking and hopefully it won't be too long before I'll be able to share some positive news.

:)

[sarahstarfish]

Awwww, lovely Toni - happy birthday for tomorrow, hope you have a great day.

Good luck with your search.

Love

Cindy

[MumsieMel]

:bday: Hope you had a great birthday toni!

[Toni.middle]

For your birthday wishes Mel & Cindy. Hoping someone knows someone who is Asian and might look at helping us out. :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed:

[provencein3]

Toni have you been looking for a donor for 2.5 years or trying to conceive for 2.5 years.

[family_wish]

Good luck Toni!!

There has to be someone out there:hugs:

[Toni.middle]

Toni have you been looking for a donor for 2.5 years or trying to conceive for 2.5 years.

Have been trying for 2.5 years, looking for donor for couple of months. Hopefully we don't get to the 2.5 years looking for a donor as well.

cheers

[sarahstarfish]

Hey Toni

Oh you'll get your girl - might take a bit longer wanting an Asian donor but I know behind the scenes how hard you are working at getting your message out there - if effort was babies hey Toni!

Hey, was just thinking, are there any online Asian-type women's forums etc that you might be worth seeing if their Admin would let you post an ad? I have to say that bubhub are one of only a handful of parenting forums that are open-minded enough to let us post ads - but you never know if you never ask.

Good luck Toni - is such a daunting process and I think you are pretty awesome the way you keep your chin up and just keep plugging along. Am sure others see that as well.

Love

Cindy

[sarahstarfish]

Hi Toni

How's it going - wishing you luck.

Love

Cindy

[Toni.middle]

Hi there Cindy,

Have dropped off some leaflets/ad at my acupuncturist so we'll see what happens there. Also investigating other places to advertise eg Chinese newspapers, university etc. Just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to do this as well as full time job. I think I said on one of my other posts or TM that all I need is to win the lottery so I can quit work and concentrate on this!

Anyways, fingers crossed and hopefully my angel will appear in the not too distant future.

I must admit, every asian woman I meet I am so tempted to just jump right in there and ask her if she would be able to help me. However, I can just imagine if someone did that to me I'd freak and run a mile wanting to get away from the crazy lady!

Oh well, the search goes on....
:o

[provencein3]

Hi toni

I have seen general posts in relation to Asian donors whilst googling but I did a general google on Asian donors and they seem to be in extremely short demand.

so all the very best.

[sarahstarfish]

Hey Toni

How is your search going - hope all is well.

Love

Cindy

[Toni.middle]

Hi Cindy,

No responses as yet but we'll just have to keep trying. I'm a golfer and contemplated asking if I could have my leaflet put up on the notice boards in the ladies changing rooms of some of the golf clubs that have a high number of asian members.

Not sure how long it will be before I should start looking at just a general egg donor e.g not specifying Asian. I don't feel we've exhausted our options as yet but as you'll appreciate we're always thinking about "what next?".

Not too disheartened at this stage but just like all my fellow intending parents we'd love for someone to come forward sooner than later.

Hope all's well with you Cindy and thanks for keeping an interest.
:thumbsup:
Toni

[sarahstarfish]

Hey Toni

No, only me giving your ad a bump. Any news?

Love

Cindy

[Toni.middle]

Thanks Cindy.

No responses as yet. :fingerscrossed: The waiting doesn't get any easier does it.

:(

[Toni.middle]

Quick update....unfortunately no progress as yet. Leaflets are with acupuncturist and GP and have emailed a number of NZ Asian groups but nothing positive so far. Have also contacted an Asian TV show here to see if they'd be interested in doing an item on infertility in Asians and they've said yes....which is good...however I'm still trying to work through whether I'm ready to "go public" with this. Will ask if they could do it without identifying me but I suspect it would be a "no". We'll see.

Am getting close to deciding to widen the search to a general egg donor rather than specifying Asian only. I knew there was a great possibility I'd have to do this due to the cultural barriers of egg donation....e.g Asians can typically be very superstitious about these sorts of things.

Anyway, hope some of my fellow egg donor searchers are having some luck.

[sarahstarfish]

Hey Toni

Just bumping your ad, how are you going?

Love

Cindy

[bigglet]

Excuse my ignorance but why is egg donorship so hard to find?
Is the procedure a lot harder and painful? Is that why more people don't offer?
I don't know much about it so just wondering that's all.....

[wa mum of 4]

Hello,
Egg donation it time consuming and you need to take into account the hormone injections, doctors visits, blood tests and all the other proceedures needed and not to mention the surgery to retrieve the donor eggs.
It can be very stressful for both parties.
But at the end of the day look at what you have done to help:wave: an unlucky couple start a beautiful family of their own.
I think it is all worth it (as a donor).
Hoped this helped Sarah:wave:

[Toni.middle]

Thanks for chipping in Sarah.

Bigglet, Sarah's right of course about all the things you need to go through. Also there are some initial criteria you have to meet as an egg donor before a clinic will accept you such as...
- the optimum age being 25-35 for maturity to ensure you're of most fertile age
- preferably non-smoker
- either completed your family or made the decision to not have any of your own

A potential donor (and her partner/hubby) also has to come to terms with the fact that there may be a child/children out there in the world with their genes whom they would not have constant contact with. I say "constant" because most recipients are happy to have some contact with the donor but depends on the two parties how much that is.

There are then of course all the medical hoops to jump through as well.

So as you can see this narrows the number of women who come forward to even start thinking about egg donation.

Of course the more the word can be spread that this is something very wonderful that women can do for couples who are in the terrible situation of infertility the better. So even by you discussing with friends and relations you never know who might one day decide to try being an angel for a recipient like myself.

Sorry for going on so much :ecomcity: but as you can tell it is definitely something that has become a huge topic in my life of late.

All the best and thanks for at least asking.
:)

[bigglet]

Ahhh I see. I just never knew much about it and was wondering why egg donorship was much harder than sperm donorship (besides the obvious being harder to get).

I do hope you find the right donor and maybe (as you previously said) with some publicity you will find them (or they find you)
You have opened my eyes and is something to think about - I guess you don't really think about it unless you have heard of it or someone you know is going through it. (a few of my friends are going through IVF and it's heartbreaking when you see them go through it)

I do wish you all the luck on finding the right person and am thinking of you :hugs:

[sarahstarfish]

Hey Toni

Just bumping your ad - any news?

Love

Cindy

[Toni.middle]

Hi Cindy,

Yes have had some offers. One not suitable due to blue eyed blond and second was brunette in Melbourne.

However I have been contacted by a Chinese woman based in Brisbane. She actually contacted me through this site. Am working through the logistics at the moment so not getting my hopes up too high until we get all our ducks in a row since the trans tasman thing throws a few more hurdles into the mix.

Thanks for bumping me up and keeping in touch.

XX

[bigglet]

awww :fingerscrossed: Toni!

All the best!! :hugs:

[sarahstarfish]

OH wow Toni - that is just amazing! I have been a bit concerned about your search for a needle in a haystack, but by golly girl, is looking great. Bless your dear cotton socks whoever you are - this is one lovely lady who I am sure will look after you very well should everything go ahead.

Re your logistics, is probably nice timing to get to know each other a bit while you get appointments etc. organised. Let us know if we can help with anything.

Yahooooo - good on your ladies, hope it all goes well and you decide to go ahead together.

Love

Cindy

[leisurly]

Hi How are you going

Just checking in on all those hovering near the end of the page:wave:

L

[Toni.middle]

Hi Leisurly,

Sorry, been a bit remiss in updating here.

Donor and I have been getting on famously via email and she is absolutely great. She already has two children 5 and 2. She has had her first round of blood tests and now we're into the 3 month wait before she has round two of bloods before we start the IVF treatment. Still struggling a bit with getting the Australian clinic to come on board due to the unusual circumstances of me being the recipient in NZ and the funding issues etc, but I think we'll get there one way or another.

Hoping for all the action to happen October/November so :fingerscrossed:

cheers

[Wishing]

Same boat you're in
Hi Toni,

This may be very late as I realize you posted your message in 2006!

I too am an Asian married to a Caucasian and I fully understand what you must have gone through. The only difference is, you seemed to be very willing to talk about this issue while I'm still quiet about it. I'm wondering if you'd successfully found an Asian donor and it's my sincere hope that you'd given birth to a healthy baby?

I'm not young and I'm considering using an egg donor. I would greatly appreciate your update and any useful tips you can provide.

Regards and best wishes,
K (aka Wishing)

[Roxy]

Toni did find an Asian donor - the lady who was in Brisbane that she mentioned...

Good news is that Toni gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy in December.

She doesn't check in here very often, so maybe send her an email or PM via this site...

[xkwzit]

Thanks for the update Roxy, I love baby news :D :party:

A PM or email is probably the best way to contact Toni and I might close this ad then to save confusion.