My relationship is falling to bits

[allsgood]

I need to just write all of the stuff that is in my head down, and I'm not sure where to put it, so decided here. Im not good with all the abbreviations so sorry for the long hand! I was a single parent to my son for 5 years then met current partner. We have been together just over a year and expecting a baby in March 08. We are also in the process of building a house. Our relationship has changed in the past 5wks. When I bring up how I feel he blames me and suggests ways I could change my behaviour to make things better for him too. Actually everytime we argue the blame for most things is put onto me. Ive got to the stage I dont even want to talk with him any more cause he snaps and then puts it all on me. He never wanted children of his own, but didnt complain when I came off the pill (after discussion). The thought of being on my own with the labour, newborn and trying to get my son to school and trying to cope is sending me over the edge. I dont know how to salvage this relationship. I feel like such a failure.

[OneBabyBoy]

Hi, I don't really have much advice because I'm not good at the "salvaging" aspect of relationships but I couldn't read and not reply.
Some men just really don't take pregnancy well. He might be scared or just worried about how things will change. Also how you are changing physically and emotionally with preg hormones/sickness.
I think if you can hold on until you are not pregnant anymore and see how he is then.
Every pregnant woman deserves to be doted on and what he is doing at the moment is not acceptable.
I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[allsgood]

Thanks for your response. We spoke, well I spoke and he contributed a little on Friday. I feel a bit better for getting my thoughts out and letting him know where I'm at. He said that he was stressed. A reason perhaps but not an excuse. He was still very distant over the weekend. Will just play things by ear, cant do too much else. After baby is born will reasses. God this is a horrible position to be in. My son has noticed the difference in my partner too. Not going to let it affect him, spent too many years on my own working damn hard at being a great parent to let new partner scew that up. Anyway will think positive for now.

[Queen]

:hugs:I have no real advise for you:hugs: as I have never been in your position.
All I can say is, do what is best for YOU and YOUR kids, they are the important ones (including you:) )

Take care:hugs:

[Angelmist♥]

Awww mate:hugs:I really have no idea what to say except that pregnancy can affect men a lot. Maybe he is just trying to come to terms with the pregnancy.

Haha on the other hand though, building a house is pretty stressful so who knows!Men hey:rolleyes:

[allsgood]

Over the past few weeks we have had little conversation with occassional big talks. This horribleness has been going on since end of September. Last week he suddenly became really happy, enthused, still didnt talk about the baby but became interested in me and my son again. I couldnt work out why when he came to cuddle me and kiss me I didnt want to recipricate. I thought about it and realised that he has hurt me so much that I have lost trust, faith, and confidence in him. I explained to him that I really appreciated the effort he is making, however I'm still hurting and that it's going to take time for me to be where he is at. I thought he understood, but ever since I was open with him he has gone back to being sullen, snappy, and i didnt even get a CYA have a nice day this morning. Good lord what should I do? I am 27 weeks pregnant, with no family around, and only work colleagues who I need to keep boundaries with. Should we just end it now, as he has said that he doesnt want to attend any type of counselling, or just struggle through being stressed and see what happens after baby is born? I'm feeling so alone with all of this, and starting to resent him.:hair:

[bubbleyblossom]

I honestly dont know what to say.. I can only offer lots of cuddles.. Some of the others would have better advice than me. I am really sorry you are going through this right now :( I hope it all gets better