in need of re-assurance

[mummy hopeful]

I am a healthy 26 year old trying to conceive with my beautiful husband. Although we have only been trying for 6 months, every time I get my period, my heart breaks! I know as soon as I stop thinking about it, it will happen .... how do I do that?!?!

[noniandlilysmum]

Hi there, I am not really sure what to tell you... Staying positive is a really good start... I too am 26 years old... I know when I was going to try and conceive I went to the Dr's just for a general health check as I had had a heart problem years ago and just wanted to know how my health would hold up... I found out I had a Urinary tract infection, strep b, which is apparently pretty common in women and if left untreated can do damage... I also read a book which says that these type of infections can kill the sperm, which is unlikely, but anything is worth a try ha... Once cleared up, the next month I conceived, Just something to think about... I bought a book by Francesca Naish, I think it's called natural fertility, It really helped me with conceiving, I think if your taking temps and doing all the other things she sets out in the book, your mind isn't exactly on conceiving... Plus I had never had so much sex in my life, It was quite alot of fun actually... Anyway I am no expert, but I know what it's like to be dissapointed every time your period comes around when your ttc... I hope you fall pregnant real soon :)

[Mummabear]

Howdy,

I was 28 yo and TTC (now 29 & 7 months preggo). Everyone around me was falling pregnant, and most of them 'by accident'. I was so devastated and just couldn't understand why it wouldn't happen for us. We had been trying for 6 months also, which medically speaking isn't a long time - but just tell that to a couple desparately ready to start a family (and then duck as she back hands you!). The one thing I didn't realise is that most women don't actually ovulate every month - so as each month went by and I kept getting my period I was getting more and more depressed. Then I learnt this news and read up on the signs of ovulation and discovered that in the last 6 months I had only ovulated once, and we hadn't 'taken advantage'(so to speak) of that opportunity. Just having a period is not a sign of ovulation, it's just a sign on hormone surgance - your hormones are 'trained' to do certain things at certain times of each month and often just carry about their business with no regard as to whether there is an egg on the way or not. Read up about the signs of ovulation and learn to really listen to your body as everyone is an individual. And most of all - relax, which is so important, and yet (as I totally understand) the hardest part of all. I found that doing things like taking half an hour by myself in the evenings to sit in a dark bedroom and just rub my tummy and get in tune with my body really helped me focus on myself and my body and start to listen to it. (I know it sounds a bit 'new age', but just find something that works for you). If you simply can't wait for mother nature to get her oopsy in a pile, then look at chinese therapies - there is a reproductive organisation in Adelaide (REPROMED) that have done clinical studies on the positive effects that accupuncture has on a womans fertility - and there are also specific chinese herbs that come highly recommended. Look through your local Yellow Pages and find a reputable therapist - most of the ones that I contacted (we were lucky enough to not have to venture down that path) said that they had a 70% success rate within 3 months.

Good luck - and enjoy your beautiful husband in the meantime!!! :p

[RuthK]

Hi

I am nearly 36 and TTC my third child. I was lucky enough to fall pregnant accidentally with my first, then fell pregnant as soon as I gave up breastfeeding with No.2 (was trying when breastfeeding but I'm one of those women for whom bf is a contraceptive). Am now in my 3rd month of TTC#3 and was a wreck the first 2 months until my doctor said something to me that really hit home.

He said that a study was recently done and published in a medical journal about falling pregnant. It involved 3 groups of couples. The 1st group took their temperatures, ovulation tests, etc, and timed intercourse to the day. The 2nd group had sex whenever they felt like it and the 3rd group had sex every 2nd day for a few weeks from the week following the woman's period. The 3rd group had the highest success rate, the 2nd group game 2nd and the 1st group had the lowest conception rate.

As my doctor said, this proves that the more relaxed apporach you take to the whole affair, the better of you'll be. I'm trying to relax about it all and tell myself that actually, I don't want to conceive this month because then I'd be expecting labour during the festive season. It's Murphy's Law, it will come when you least expect or want it.

[H&B'sMum]

I totally understand how you are feeling. I was 26 when we started TTC. I use to get really annoyed at people who would tell me to relaxe, cause when you are going through it it's the last thing you can/want to do. For the first half of the month you are thinking "It's coming, O day is coming", then you have the aganising 2 week wait. Every month I would cry for hours when AF arrived, it got really stressful at times. But my Dh and I learnt to support each other and rely on the other to get through the hard times. We are all programed to believe that we can fall pregnant whenever we want to, but for a lot of woman that just doesn't happen.
I tryed a herbalist who put me on a fertililty tonic. If you can handle the smell and taste, try it, it worked for me. My Dh and I also cleaned up our environment, we didn't drink anymore, and changed our diet to become a lot healthier. For me making those changes felt like I was doing something more to help my body.
I did eventually fall pregnant and now have a beautiful 1 year old boy and all the heartache I went through to get him is worth it.
Now I'm worried I have to go through all that again to give Harry a sibling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mummy hopeful]

thank you all so much for your re-assurance, I walked away from my computer feeling less stressed and more relaxed about the whole thing. My husband also enjoyed reading your replies, as he is feeling a little helpless in this situation too. I have decided to put my thermometer, mucus charts and pregnancy books away in the bottom draw, and just enjoy not having to use contraception ... and see what happens!! I will let you all know if I see any little blue lines in the near future!!