Thinking about a 3 yr age gap

[joy2me]

well some of the ladies in my mothers group are talking about the age gap they want before their next baby.
One of the ladies said she wants a 3 yr age gap because she wants to make sure her ds is toilet trained first before the next baby comes along which will make him more independant she said in order for her to raise two children.

I think it sounds good but has anyone actually got experience with this situation?

My dd is 4 mths old now and we want to try again for a boy next and I would like it to be easier on me if there is any possibility. also what to avoid - like i think trying for one now is not such a good idea I will be knocked off my feet.

Thanks in advance

[mum23girls]

I have about 3 years between all of my girls ages 18months, 4yrs and 8yrs.:smiliedance:

I love it. I could not imagine it any other way. They do have more independance, but the thing that I love the most is the way that they can see their sibling grow and mature and appreciate it as much as me, and the acknowledgement from the siblings when we go to a school concert or something like that. I know my 8 year old loves that her sister is obviously proud of her. "that is my sister" the four words that just melt my heart.

I can't comment on younger age gaps, I have only ever had one experience taking out an 18month old and a baby..it wasn't pretty.:laughing: I would hate to be doing it all the time.

[mum23girls]

I thought I would also comment on the negative of a big age gap that I have found...

If you want to go out to places that "cater" for the older children, sometimes it is a bit of a hassle with a way younger one as well... they want to do it, but are just too little.

And it also seems like you are at home forever... which if you like being at home wouldn't be a bad thing, but it was for me.

[mummyofchaise]

Hi, My DD is 13 months now and i am expecting our next baby, so there will be 22 months between them. I really thought about the age gap and asked everyone but we decided that as much as we love the newborn toddler stage, we are also looking forward to our children being that little bit older and enjoying the things we used to do eg. camping holidays etc. Also i would hate to get to the point where DD is sleeping beautifully and out of nappys and then think gosh do i really want to do all that again? Lastly I don't want to be pregnant with newborns and toodlers for 9 years.... Everyone is different tho and i think everyone has good and bad to say about age gaps.

[joy2me]

Thanks guys
I love that mum23girls the positive you had to say and i can relate to the negative as my younger sister is 6 yrs younger than me and growing up she would follow me around and we were so close but there were times she would cry out to go and do what i was doing.

and mummyofchaise thats good what you had to say for your reasons why you chose 22 mths apart and I agree at the end of the day it comes down to what suits you, your personality, family and situation already doesnt it but it's always good to hear what everyone else has to say cos then you might get some more ideas of what you might like and not like. also dp and his older brother are 2 yrs apart and mil said they were very close growing up and always hung out together.

mum23girls i'm hoping to have one more baby and was jsut wondering when you had your first by the time the second came along were you and family quite prepared do you think?
how was first dd at 3 towards your newborn when she arrived? etc

[sweetsugardumplin']

My DS will be 3 3/4 when his baby sister arrives in six weeks. I had always wanted my son to have lots of time with mum and dad and be able to grow and develop at his own pace, before presenting him with a new sibling. I have seen many toddlers forced to grow up very quickly because a new baby has arrived. (I acknowledge that this is not always the case) but it is important to us. At his age he is fully toilet trained, very indepedent (cooks his own toast - with supervision of course) helps me put on the washing, loves to wash the dishes, sweep the floor etc) And he is so excited about the impending birth of his new sister - every day he presents either me or DH with one of his toys or an item of clothing for the new baby. The point about being at home for long periods of time - I started working part time when DS was 12 months, I now work three days a week and after bub is born I'll take at least a year off again. It's all very individual but I thought I'd just give you another perspective.

[mum23girls]

In my experience the older the child gets the more doting they get towards the baby. There was no jealousy - she understood more at that age that mummy will have a baby to look after, but it also involved her as well. She wanted to take part in things so it was a time for all of us.

:thumbsup:

[cassieclarke]

I had caleb when Ethan was 3 1/2 years old, and I'm glad we waited. I only have one nappy to change, Ethan can pop Calebs dummy in for me if I have my hands full, and he gets to watch his little brother grow up. I was a bit worried about jealousy, so when I was pregnant we talked to Ethan and explained everything, as well as naming Caleb as soon as we found out he was a boy - that way he seemed more of a person, rather than just a lump in Mummy's belly.

[joy2me]

Thank you so much for all your experience I really appreciate it and it makes me feel alot more content about the age gap and dp is happy to have some time before we try again.

I like the way you have all gone about things and think its a great age gap.:thumbsup:

Mumma can you keep us updated as to how things go when you newborn comes along...how exciting.

Thanks everyone....:wave:

[punkbaby]

I found when i had my third bubs ds was 2 and it was hard as he was at the lets run away stage, he was still quiet demanding as well too. When i had indie (few weeks ago) i found it heaps easier as storm is 3 in december and she seems alot easier to look after, she wont run away, she holds my hand etc, she can walk and she can help me as well! I prefer 3 years as i know it was hell when there was a 2 year gap LOL

If i could go back i would either go 12 months or 3 year gaps but 3 years is ideal i think :D

[missmum05]

We are trying for a 3year old age gap.I think it will be a great age gap :D just hope dd will be over her tantrums by the time the new bub comes along :rolleyes: