JAN 08 MUMS: how many kids do you think you'll have?

[Chelle123]

I was talking to my friend today who has just had her 3rd baby in less than 3.5 years. She says she's not absolutely sure she has finished yet, which got me thinking.

I always thought that I'd have 2 kids but a year after Noah was born, our family still didn't feel complete. I don't know if that stemmed from both DH & I coming from '3 kid families' or the feeling I always had, that I'd have a girl.

I know for us this is our last baby for many reasons. Number one reason being my health with stupid blood clots and haemorraging during my last labour. And most other reasons are financial eg we'd need a bigger house & car and are sending our kids to Catholic School which can get quite $$ too (high school not decided yet).

So, how many kids do you think you'll have or would you like to have?

Poll coming

[LilliS]

Dh and I have always said we wanted two kids - hopefully a boy and a girl! We have the girl cooking....

We are thinking of having a two year gap in between them but I guess time will tell. We don't really have any specific reason for wanting two however it just seems to suit us.

[MissSookyLaLa]

Dh comes from a family of 7 kids so he is keen for a big family- i said lets start at 1 and see how we go, but im from a family of 3 so im keen for 3

[xxxDragonFlyxxx]

DH and I have plans for 4 kiddies at this stage.

2 close together, then have a break, then when these two are off at school, we'll mark a start on having the other 2 close together. So around a 4-5 year gap between the two lots.

Have 4 kids also means we have to upgrade in terms of car and in terms of house. There is absolutely no way we can have more than two kids in this tiny 2 bedroom townhouse unit!

I'm not sure why we agreed on 4 kids though, we both just absolutely adore children and want to have a nice big family with lots of siblings, and 4 seemed like a good number!

[Widget]

Dh and I have always said we wanted two kids - hopefully a boy and a girl! We have the girl cooking....

We are thinking of having a two year gap in between them but I guess time will tell. We don't really have any specific reason for wanting two however it just seems to suit us.
Sounds like me 2 years ago!! I'll have a 17month gap between 2 girls though... I think differently now...
DH and I have plans for 4 kiddies at this stage.

2 close together, then have a break, then when these two are off at school, we'll mark a start on having the other 2 close together. So around a 4-5 year gap between the two lots.

Have 4 kids also means we have to upgrade in terms of car and in terms of house. There is absolutely no way we can have more than two kids in this tiny 2 bedroom townhouse unit!

I'm not sure why we agreed on 4 kids though, we both just absolutely adore children and want to have a nice big family with lots of siblings, and 4 seemed like a good number!
I was thinking this same thing...

I don't know honestly. DF and I have always said 2. When I was pregnant with DD I thought it'd be nice to have 4 instead of 2, but now that #2 is on the way, I'm doubting the decision to give her siblings, I just don't want her to feel left out or less loved or have less attention or get in trouble because we're trying to do something with the baby and she wants some attention... I get all upset thinking about how this is going to effect her...

Our decision to have them so close together was based purely on my selfishness of not wanting anymore if we found out she had special needs and DF's selfishness with not wanting an only child... We didn't consider DD in our thought processes and I don't know if we've done the right thing for her now...

I love her SO much I don't ever want to see her hurt again, physically or emotionally and I'm really starting to get scared at how DF will cope at home with them...

Sorry, blubbering mess... :gloomy:

[Chelle123]

:hugs: Widget

My boys are 20 months apart and I know as time goes on, they'll be best mates. They are so protective of each other already.

The hardest bit for me was the first year, when they sleep & eat at diiferent times but it does get easier. Your DD will not even remember when bub came along and she will adapt really quickly.

As for your DF taking over the daytime role, I have no words of wisdom but you need to know that no one can replace you as Mummy.

[Widget]

I just know he isn't patient enough... I'm scared that he'll leave the bub on the floor unattended (to do who knows what, say, have a smoke) and DD will try and play with her (she's quite rough with her playing) and she'll get in trouble...

I can see him always yelling at her and her feeling very yukky and Mummy isn't there to make it all okay and Daddy's being an @rse...

This is of course, if he can get off it from the xbox long enough to actually look after them...

I can see her being emotionally ripped to shreds because DF will always be telling her off and she won't be able to do anything about it until Mummy gets home to give her a cuddle...

Damn... :gloomy: I need to compose myself...

[Widget]

What have I done??????????

I'm just starting to enjoy and appreciate her and I've thrown it all away for selfish reasons!!!!!!!!!


:gloomy::gloomy::gloomy::gloomy::gloomy::gloomy:

[Chelle123]

V, is there any way that you can both work part time so you get time doing the daytime Mummy role too? I really don't think that you'll regret having this baby but I'd hate for you to regret missing the time with your beautiful girls.

[Widget]

My work won't allow for any less than 4 days a week... Only reason I got 4 days was because Annabelle has her appointments on Fridays...

I can either suck it up and pray he treats them right or resign and make him find full time work... Oh, with a good guaranteed take home pay...

[Chelle123]

I can either suck it up and pray he treats them right or resign and make him find full time work... Oh, with a good guaranteed take home pay...

Would he be willing to do that?

[Widget]

He thinks he'll cope just fine... He doesn't know how hard it is, how frustrating it can be...

He knows that I will resign if he isn't handling it, but it's been 2 years without a guaranteed take home pay... Except since I've gone back to work...

[HoneyBlossom]

3 for us thats it... DH is getting the chop..

[Chelle123]

3 for us thats it... DH is getting the chop..
That's what I thought too but it seems so final. I have to keep reminding myself that its not in the best interest of my health to have more babies - plus DH would never agree.

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

Oh I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels unsure. I want one more - even though I thought I would stop at 2 for sure. I hate being pregnant though - I have a very bad time and am wondering how I will look after my son when I am pregnant.

[Crazy Monkey]

I voted 3, cause thats what I want but DHw ants only 2... Not really sure of my reasoning for 3 but its always been in my head - maybe cause I'm one of 3... DH is one of 2...

I think if we have another Boy, we MIGHT (hopes and prays :laughing:) got abck for another, but if its a little girl, I think that will be it... DH is happy to have the snip and tells everybody that he's going to have it done... Gonna try convince him to wait until this bubs is a couple of years old before he has it done...

Widget - I'm sure everything will work out for the best in the long run... Your DF will either handle things perfectly - after a little adjustment period or he'll be itching to find a good paying full time job and you can stay home with your girls...

[sairpaul]

we are aiming for 3 but would like a bit of a break in between.

[tiptoe]

I'm the same as Dragonfly!

I've picked 4 but i'm thinking 3 or 4 (more likely 4)

After this one, we'll wait til both the boys are at school before going for #3 (and until we've bought a house, i'll be back at work for a few years) Depending on how #3 goes, we'll have #4 2 years after that.

Thats the plan anyway!

[Mamaduke]

sending our kids to Catholic School which can get quite $$ too (high school not decided yet).

Don't worry about the Catholic school...unlike other private schools you don't/won't pay per child in regards to fees. Levies will be per child but the fees are per family.

After Littlest Duke, we're done, last call, all silent...Sold!

[Chelle123]

Don't worry about the Catholic school...unlike other private schools you don't/won't pay per child in regards to fees. Levies will be per child but the fees are per family.

That's the primary school, the local Catholic seconday is pay per child but we'll decide on schools when we get closer to the time - we won't send them to a Catholic school if there is a better option for their particular needs IYKWIM.

[Mamaduke]

That's the primary school, the local Catholic seconday is pay per child but we'll decide on schools when we get closer to the time - we won't send them to a Catholic school if there is a better option for their particular needs IYKWIM.
Sorry, thought it was primary you were talking about.

[jas08]

I chose 4. Only because we have 3 boys and this one that is on its way. If you had of asked years ago i would have said just one if any. but i love my boys to bits, got the bigger car now to watch them grow up after bubs is born.
Jas