View Full Version : Info for potential donors
sarahstarfish
26-02-2006, 11:03
Hi Ladies
I think this is the best thing I have ever read about ED on the net...have posted in two parts as over character length!!!
http://members.optushome.com.au/dcsg/donor_info/info_sheet.html
Becoming a donor: Information sheet
An information Sheet for Potential Gamete Donors
You are reading this information sheet because you are currently considering donating sperm, ovum or embryos to assist an infertile person or persons who wish to conceive a child.
You may have a very personal reason for wanting to help others in this way, and perhaps even know the people you want your donation to help. You may simply want to "help others", or share your good fortune as a parent, and not know or care who will benefit from your donation. The decision may seem a simple and uncomplicated one.
You are to be congratulated for your desire to help others in this special way. However, if you do make the decision to donate, this will have an important impact on the people who receive your donation, on the person who is born as a result of your donation, and even on you.
About Gamete Donation...
Donor Insemination, or DI, has been practiced for many years in Australia. Invitro Fertilisation (IVF) techniques have also allowed women to donate ovum (or "eggs") and couples to donate embryos.
In the midst of all this technology, it can be easy to forget just exactly what is being done. The donation of sperm, ovum or embryos is not the same as the donation of kidneys, livers, and hearts
A whole person will be created. And not just a newborn baby, but a person who will become first a young child, then a teenager, then a young adult, and eventually a parent and grandparent in his/her own right.
This person, and his/her family, will have the same needs as other individuals and their families. The need to be safe and secure. The need to be loved. The need to be treated with respect. The need to know about personal heritage and history.
Not Your Child...
Donating your sperm, ovum or embryos allows for the creation of a person who will be cherished by people who have longed for a child. You may rightly say that the child who is created is not your child, even thought he or she is genetically your offspring. That the parents who raise the child will be the parents in every sense.
All parents will tell you that it is the challenges and traumas of parenting, not just the "birthing", which creates strong bonds between parents and children. Most adopted people and their adoptive parents have strong, positive feelings about adoption and develop close relationships that last a lifetime. Parents and children don’t need to share genetic material to love and be committed to each other.
However, more than one hundred years of adoption experiences in this country has taught us that genetics are important too.
How Gamete Donation Affects Children and Families...and Donors
It was once believed that adopted children would not want or need information about their "birth" parents, if the adoption was a success. It was even believed that children who were adopted would be better never knowing of the adoption. It was also thought that birth parents didn’t care about, and would be better never knowing about, the child who was adopted. In short, everyone should just get on with life and forget about the adoption. The adoption was an "event" that had happened, not a process that would continue to have an effect on the individuals and families involved.
Some people would prefer to believe that people born using donated gametes will not want or need information about the donor, to whom they are genetically related. They would probably be better off not even knowing the truth of their conception. The donors won’t want or need to know how their offspring are faring, because they are "not their children". The donation of the sperm, ovum or embryo was just something that once happened.
We now know that it is normal and healthy for adopted people to want to know the truth of their origins, and to need information about their genetic history. We now know that adoptive parents want and need this information too.
We also know that birth parents often think of the child they gave up for adoption, want to know if he/she is well and happy. They don’t want to take over parenting the adopted person but they don’t stop caring or wondering, either.
Both parents and offspring of families created using gamete donation are increasingly stating that they also want and need to have information about the gamete donor.
We now also know that many donors think of the child that was created, and wonder about his/her welfare and whether he/she has questions about them. Most donors don’t expect that they will feel this way, but find the donation, and the growing child or children probably conceived as a result, play on their mind as time goes on.
All of this is normal.
MORE TO COME>>>>Next post
sarahstarfish
26-02-2006, 11:03
Following on...
The Impact of Your Decision to Donate
Obviously there are many people, and a great many issues to consider in your decision about whether or not to donate your gametes. No one is more important than the person who will be created; your genetic offspring, but your own feelings are very important too.
Take some time to consider how you might feel about your donation in years to come. One or more people may come to exist as a result of your donation. They will genetically be your children, although legally, and socially, they will be the children of the parents to whom you are donating your gametes. They may eventually have children who will be your genetic grandchildren.
You have a special and indisputable link to any child you helped to create, and therefore some very special responsibilities which no one else can assume on your behalf.
Can you imagine how donor offspring might feel? To wonder about who they may look like, where they get their talents and personality traits from, what their genetic family history is and what this may suggest about their own potential? To wonder why you donated, and if you cared about their future?
How would you feel if your genetic offspring needed a lifesaving bone marrow transplant from you in the future? Or felt a desperate need to meet with and talk to you, even if just once?
Can you imagine how it must feel for parents of children with all these questions? Will these parents be able to answer their children’s questions? How would you respond if, one day in the future, you were asked to meet with your genetic offspring and his/her parents? Your answer may depend on whether you keep your donation a secret from important people in your life, or not. It may also depend on how many genetic offspring arise from your donation.
At this time, it may seem easier for you to focus on the creation of a healthy baby for loving people who have longed to be parents.
If you don’t feel comfortable with the responsibilities of donation, then don’t ignore them. Don’t donate!
How You Can Really Help...
If, after reading this information sheet and discussing your decision with friends and family, you still want to donate your gametes, that will be terrific. But whatever you do, don’t simply leave your gametes at the clinic!
As a first step, it is important that you leave information about yourself that both parents and the child can have access to. Medical history is important, but so is information about your personal history, your personality and talents, and how you feel about the donation. You can leave a letter, and even a photo, at the clinic at which you donate.
It is also important that you are open to a possible request for information, and maybe even contact, at some time in the future. To do this, it will probably be important for you to tell special people in your life about the donation, and the possibility that you have genetic offspring who may need some information and/or contact with you at some time.
Make sure that you leave enough identifying information with the clinic to enable you to be found in the future.
If you feel uncomfortable about having a number of genetic offspring. then you may wish to ask the clinic at which you donate to limit the number of pregnancies which arise from your donation.
Getting Support
It’s possible that you don’t know anyone else who has donated gametes. You may think you don’t know any parents whose children were born using donated gametes, or any people who were themselves conceived using donated gametes.
You might have thought this would be an easy decision, and now realise it isn’t. If that has been a painful realisation, take heart in the knowledge that it is an important one, and you are now much better equipped to make, and live with, this important decision.
reating a life, and a family, is a powerful and generous act.
It is important that you get as much information as you can about the consequences of your decision.
Talk to people about your decision. If you feel you can’t, that may be a sign that donation isn’t right for you. A secret as enormous as this will be hard to bear for a lifetime, and may prevent you from fulfilling you responsibilities to your genetic offspring.
Other donors, adult people who were conceived using donated gametes, and parents whose children were conceived using donated gametes, may be able to help you to make a decision that is right for you, and those who will be affected by your decision. If you don’t know people with these personal experiences, contact the Donor Conception Support Group of Australia. They can help potential donors of sperm, ovum and embryos, and can give you important insight into the complicated issue of gamete donation.
It is very important that you don’t rush your decision. Take time to make a well-informed decision that you feel you can live with for the rest of your life. A decision that you feel will have positive implications for those who will be affected by it.
The Donor Conception Support Group is for anyone involved in donor conception from donors to families to medical professionals, counsellors etc., and anyone with an interest in the area.
END
Hi SarahSF
Thanks for posting this :yelclap: , I know that ppl on the hub will appreciate this information. I think the more informed everyone can become the better we will be.
Cheers
I've made this a 'sticky' so that it remains at the top of the section for all to read. And a couple of new smilies particularly appropriate for this section :fingerscrossed: :hugs:
mumma_jessy
05-06-2006, 19:06
Thanx for posting this, it's fantastic information!:yelclap:
maybe1more
04-07-2007, 17:39
Excellent info Thanx!!
canibeamum
10-08-2007, 14:35
This was very interesting reading, you are right to point out all the possible problems
But I feel that it does not have enough information on the positive aspects of donating.
There are so many needing help and i find this info trying to talk people out of it.
Which unfortunately is myself!
I will not be donating any of my embo's because I am not prepared to leave myself open to future contact
The guilt would be like that of giving a baby away
It would have been nice to put a more positive spin on things to make someone like me reconsider
Hi cani
You are perfectly right when you say that there are so many needing help. But I think that the info provided is good in that it does make you consider the really hard aspects of egg donation. The rights of the resultant child are important too and I think their right to know where they come from is critical.
From reading this information I know that I am just not cut out to be an egg donor. I could never separate myself from any egg I donated. To me it would be exactly like giving a child of mine away to other people to raise. It wouldn't matter how much contact I had. I would feel that the child were mine, which makes me exactly the wrong type of person to consider egg donation.
However, I love that there are some women (and their partners too) out there who have it within them to give this awesome gift to some very deserving people without conditions or entanglements. Such women are truly precious.
Cheers
ogilberry
05-09-2007, 12:20
i have donated twice now both times the ladies got twins...one anon through qld fertility centre and the other i chose someone off here and have done semi anon meaning i know her by email but we are not going to keep in touch...
personally i am not sure that i could know the person but that is me personally 9Keep in touch etc)....i think you need to be totally clear on what you are happy with re donation as is a big issue...
the way i see it is they are really just cells until placed in a womb and put with a sperm. they are wasted each and every month they mean nothing to us...nothing until they are met with the sperm and womb....it is then when they become a baby..but just because you are technically blood related to something doesnt mean that you love it or need to be a part of its life....and that is how "i " deal with the whole thing...
i think if the person was too close to me i would probably look at it differently...
but let me tell you the emails and the words that you receive for doing such a lovely thing is the warmest fuzziest feelings you will ever get....i think most of us are born to want to make a change to someone elses life..what better way than giving someone a child that they could not have without your help
i cannot imagine life without my three children and i also cannot imagine being ripped off in life destined to not have a child because my body wont allow me to....so with your help someone can have a baby....
it is the best gift you will ever give anyone and it will not cost you a cent..happy for you to pm me if you need anything answered
fee
earlybirdbabies
06-09-2007, 17:05
i have donated twice now both times the ladies got twins...one anon through qld fertility centre and the other i chose someone off here and have done semi anon meaning i know her by email but we are not going to keep in touch...
personally i am not sure that i could know the person but that is me personally 9Keep in touch etc)....i think you need to be totally clear on what you are happy with re donation as is a big issue...
the way i see it is they are really just cells until placed in a womb and put with a sperm. they are wasted each and every month they mean nothing to us...nothing until they are met with the sperm and womb....it is then when they become a baby..but just because you are technically blood related to something doesnt mean that you love it or need to be a part of its life....and that is how "i " deal with the whole thing...
i think if the person was too close to me i would probably look at it differently...
but let me tell you the emails and the words that you receive for doing such a lovely thing is the warmest fuzziest feelings you will ever get....i think most of us are born to want to make a change to someone elses life..what better way than giving someone a child that they could not have without your help
i cannot imagine life without my three children and i also cannot imagine being ripped off in life destined to not have a child because my body wont allow me to....so with your help someone can have a baby....
it is the best gift you will ever give anyone and it will not cost you a cent..happy for you to pm me if you need anything answered
fee
So who pays for it then, cause I know IVF is expensive, so isn't this the same type thing, where they make you ovulate more than 1 egg and they take them all??? Injections etc??:confused:
rachwantsababy
07-09-2007, 10:07
OGIL Berry - you are amazing, to have given that gift of life to a couple, you are a true gem. To look at it the way you do also is a credit to you. If only there were more of you out there, us girls without children might have more hope.
Thankyou for helping creat life.
xxxxxx
THIS is amazing information im even more determined to do it now !!!! just to find out how i go about that
alisando01
16-11-2007, 21:51
Thankyou, I am looking to do it in a few years, after I have had all my children.
amumslove
16-11-2007, 22:11
So who pays for it then, cause I know IVF is expensive, so isn't this the same type thing, where they make you ovulate more than 1 egg and they take them all??? Injections etc??:confused:
The Recipients pay for the whole thing, It is exactly like an IVF cycle but you don't have the embryo's implanted back in you.
aida4bubs
01-05-2008, 20:02
I have been thinking of doing this for a while now but the only thing holding me back would be the pain can anyone who has done this give me some more info ?
my email is aida4bubs@yahoo.com.au
There isn't that much pain...nothing that can't be controlled with panadol and a hot water bottle (and I didn't even need those).
Have a read through the threads that are here - you'll find a load of information.
When I went thru IVF, my knees were knocking together at the theatre door, I was a mess!!
Do you know what ?? It was nothing, honestly.
My donor said the same thing, exactly, :yes:.
You are a lovely person to even consider being a donor so don't let that put you off. Just read all you can, there is lots to learn, :cool:.
Zoe.
amumslove
02-05-2008, 13:09
I didn't have much pain at all. When I did get some cramping afterwards I just drank more water and went to bed.
One of the big issues for me with donor (and we had donor sperm) is that we cannot on-donate the frozen blasties.
Elmtree - from what I have heard, it seems to depend a great deal on the clinic and even your specialist....some clinics say no straight out, others pussy-foot around the issue and a few have no trouble....
Hi Earlybirbabies,
All of the Donors costs are met by the recipients, including any medical or hospital costs for EPU.
Ogilberry, you are an amazing person who understands so well what it is like to wear the other shoe of infertility
X Milley
Thanks for the info, has been an interesting read. I have been thinking about this more and more.
:) You are welcome V8...it's great that there are people reading this information. Even if they don't want to donate, it's important that the stigma is removed...
I don't understand the stigma, it's not anything i really question, if someone needs eggs and i have them, why not give them to someone else?
That's the feeling of every woman who donates, V8...I have something that I'm not using anymore and you need, so you can have some!
There is a stigma - recipients made to feel by family/friends/work collegues that the baby isn't theirs, donors parents who claim that the donor has given their grandchildren away, neighbours who loves to gossip (and there's no gossip as juicy as "did you hear that so and so is infertile and used a donor to have a baby?" - spreads like wildfire, let me tell you!).
No one usually bats an eyelid when you tell them that you donate blood, but they certainly have a strong and swift reaction when you tell them that you have donated eggs!
Thanks for that perspective, i could see how others would come to those conclusions however unfounded and slightly innapropriate. I feel the same as you and i think you are amazing. :)
I am breastfeeding right now and have read that you can't donate while BF, so is there anything i can do to find out more and get some more info so when i have finished breastfeeding i can get things started...
There are some things you can do whilst you are still breastfeeding :yes:
Do as much research as you can - read everything, ask questions, be sure in your heart that you are totally at ease with donating.
You can make some decisions about the parameters of your donation- and by that I mean what kind of contact would you be happy with (would you prefer recipients that can become friends and have regular contact with, or are you happy for just the odd email and a yearly Christmas card and photo? Or would you prefer to do an anonymous donation through your nearest clinic to a recipient on their waiting list?). Would you prefer a recipient who lives closer to you, or would you be ok if they loved in another state? If they live in another state, are you prepared to travel to their clinic if that's their preferred treatment option? (That said, a lot of recipients will also travel to cycle at the clinic that is closer to you, if that's what you all agree to).
A lot of clinics also hold donor information nights - maybe see if your nearest clinic is having one and if it's not too far to go, then go along and listen to what they have to say. They probably won't tell you anymore than you can learn by reading the information here and asking questions, but it can be nice to see the human side of ED.
If you are really serious about donating after you've finished breastfeeding then you can also join up at AED, and learn more about how ED and IVF works, and you never know, you may even meet a potential recipient there as well (quite a few of the members come over here to advertise and become part of the parenting threads when they get success, but not all of them)...
If you do all the "groundwork" now, then when you are ready, it will be all systems go :)
Cheers for that Roxy, that's very helpful, i have thought a bit about what kind of relationship i would have with a potential donor and i would like to know them and have contact with them through the journey, i don't think i'd like an anonymous one, i guess the receipient i find would have to be comfortable with that.
Just a question too, does DH have to consent, due to him having an acquired brain injury he can't consent to anything anyways, so would that be an issue you think?
Thanks for the response, some things to ponder and investigate there. :)
Given your DH's injury, it's likely that you could get his consents and counselling waived, but he will still need to have the screening BT's (for STD's etc)...but, they are questions that you would be best to have the clinic answer to get the 100% answer.
And yes, there are lots of things to ponder on, and I must say that I still ponder over things that have come up with my donation, even 3 yrs and a baby down the track.
Thanks Roxy, that helps heaps, will get myself some more info on donating, can you please PM me some more websites where to start?
If you do a google search for "donor conception support group au" you will find a great Australian website that has a lot of information on it.
They also have a great list of suggested reading, some of which you'll find in the public library system.
AED is also another site with LOTS of information - you'll find links to it in the stickied information...
nonchalantsister
28-10-2008, 08:11
Hi...:flowerz: i know in America etc that women are paid $5000-$10000 or more for donating their eggs to a couple:valentine:... I am wondering if that is the 'done' thing in Australia too? (as well as medical costs being paid) ....& if so, is it legal to 'sell' them... ?? I havent read anything on here about anyone being 'paid' to donate their eggs.. & didnt know if its just an 'unspoken' obvious agreement... or if the eggs are simply a 'gift' from the donor:angel:.. & only medical expenses paid..???
I think a substantial sum of money could compensate for the physical risks etc of being a donor... SO..anyway.... can someone please enlighten me on this issue???... :smiliedance: thanks xo P.S.. I live in Perth (WA) Australia
elwoodgal
28-10-2008, 09:29
Payment for eggs is illegal in Australia.
The recipients are able to compensate the ED for any petrol costs, to & from medical appointments, childcare, parking costs & any time lost from work.
ED is an altruistic act in Australia.
Hi...:flowerz: i know in America etc that women are paid $5000-$10000 or more for donating their eggs to a couple:valentine:... I am wondering if that is the 'done' thing in Australia too? (as well as medical costs being paid) ....& if so, is it legal to 'sell' them... ?? I havent read anything on here about anyone being 'paid' to donate their eggs.. & didnt know if its just an 'unspoken' obvious agreement... or if the eggs are simply a 'gift' from the donor:angel:.. & only medical expenses paid..???
I think a substantial sum of money could compensate for the physical risks etc of being a donor... SO..anyway.... can someone please enlighten me on this issue???... :smiliedance: thanks xo P.S.. I live in Perth (WA) Australia
You need to have a read of the stickied information at the top of this section. Under the Human Tissue Act, payment for human tissue (and that includes eggs) is illegal and punishable by jail or a hefty fine.
You can have your medical and travel costs reimbursed, but that is all.
Also - TBH, the physical risks to a donor are very small, and IMO they don't need such large monetary compensation
nonchalantsister
28-10-2008, 23:36
Yeh I did read that section,,, strait aftr I sent it... !! Thsnx 4 replyn anywy....
I jus find it hard 2 believe that these couples who are so desperate, & obviously feel a huge hole in their life without a child & (quote:) "would give anything"... etc ...wouldn't be prepared or consider 'buying' a donors eggs..!!! However, Im sure it probably does happen sometimes in Aust. regardless of the law... & although I respect that it is illegal here, I disagree with that law.. Firstly, because I think (especially after reading so many of your 'stories'...(& my heart goes out to all..& has brought tears to my eyes...& i have also smiled & felt joy for those with happy endings too!!) ...But I think donors would not be so 'few' if a couple who was financially secure (for example: after following their career & postponing the decision to have a child until it was too late for them..) & when the years are ticking over while on a waiting list for a donor, Im sure many miss out, while the option for them to 'buy' a younger womans eggs would no doubt be insentive for a lot of 'would be' donors, who, (I truly believe, as in my case) have their heart in the right place & would love to give the 'right' couple the gift of having a child of their own... & the joy of 'their joy' to help their dream come true, no doubt would be priceless... & I think the whole 'modern' thing with meeting & 'getting to know' the parents & getting to know each other.. waiting 4 the 'click' u talk about etc..& the 'open' & natural way that the kids (& donor) are allowed (& encouraged) to be curious & even meet (or even keep contact) :ecomcity: etc ..anyway...u know what I mean... & I think all that is beautiful & important etc (for all involved...esp. the child).. & (persnally if I were 2 donate) I wouldnt have it any other way... (so please dont get me wrong in saying all this...as I wouldnt believe in jus anyone 'flogging' off their eggs by the dozen carton for some quick cash or anything.. & im sure if laws were changed 2 make it legal that it may sttract these types...so careful screening would obviously b a priority..) ...HOWEVER...although I would love to donate (& im sure many other considering donors feel the same & probably why many pull out at the last minute..no doubt causing the anticipating couple much heartache) ..but at 'crunch time'..the whole process. in regard to the time commitments (often with a family & kids of their own, even work etc..) .. even only minor medical risks involved.. as well as (i can imagine) feeling 'under pressure' - that your eggs will be suitable etc & anxiety, concern that you may let the couple down... & basically ius the overwelming "reality" of the situation - as im sure 'talking about it', 'wanting to do it' etc are all good as far as intentions go - & saying its an "altruistic" act in Aust. is a lovely thought in 'theory'..but the 'reality' in the lack of Aust'n donors...... Anyway, i hope I have explained myself properly, as I know i am truly coming from the heart... & I think a monetary 'gift' of only a few weeks salary for some..or even a few months...would certainly be a 'pittance' to many in exchange for the gift of a child of your own to enjoy & cherish fr a llifetime.. Anyway,the fact is, we ARE all human...& this is just my 'personal' view... & Im sure there are others (both doners & recipients) who would agree... & if anyone feels either way.. id be intersted to hear your views on the matter... but AGAiN, let me assure u that I have only become passionate about this being an option for couples after seeing how many of them there are out there who seem to be consumed by their desire to have a child.. & obviously a slightly-selfish incentve may be what would convince the head to follow the heart for the donor. ....well, bye & best of wishes & prayers to all of you... xoxo :smiliedance:
P.S.. obviously i realise the law is the llaw & am not about to go try & change it... but jus curious for arguments sake how others feel.. ??
Chickadee
29-10-2008, 05:19
nonchalantsister - Australian law does not allow payment for any sort of tissue donation: blood products, stem cells, bone marrow, organs, sperm or eggs.
I agree that a financial incentive may increase the number of people willing to donate, however, it can also increase the number of people who scam, cheat and abuse the system. In the USA where payment for eggs & sperm is allowed, there is also a thriving industry of stealing & selling body parts - bones, organs, etc. I would hate to see the same happen here. I would also hate to see a well deserving couple miss out on having a child because they have to bid against others for egg donors - a 'pittance' to some is completely unaffordable to others. The cost involved in IVF is already so high that many couples cannot afford it. Finally, what sort of price do we put on a human life?
A full discussion on the pros & cons of tissue sales, including eggs, is probably worth its own thread. Feel free to start one.
You might be surprised to learn how many egg donors there are in Australia, and how many women do actually donate eggs. There is a good number here on Bubhub alone - and most of those do not advertise/flaunt the fact that they have or are about to donate.
The fooey that women who need donor eggs hear about donors being scarcer than hen's teeth is not true -yes, clinic waiting lists are long, but that's because clinics treat donors averagely and prefer them to be anonymous only. The reason why most donors don't like this clinic-only based option is because that people have learnt from the past mistakes of society and are wanting to make a donor conceived person's life easier in allowing them the information about who they are and where they came from in an open and unassuming manner (think about all the people who were adopted as babies who had no idea they were adopted, and the upheaval a lot of them went through when they discovered they were adopted, but could not get any information about their biological parents)...
I also agree with Chickadee - when the average IVF cycle in Australia is between $6-10K PER CYCLE, it would make it almost unaffordable for most people. And given that there are no guarantees in life, and even less guarantees in IVF, it seems cruel to receive/ask for money for something that does not come with a money-back guarantee.
elwoodgal
29-10-2008, 20:02
For many women delaying children is not a 'lifestyle' choice. I spent 10 years of my life trying to conceive & spent many thousands of dollars in the process. IVF is expensive. I was lucky thay my cousin agreed to be my ED & my DD was the result. She would not accept a cent from me. I tried to give her some petrol money on a number of occassions (she lives in the country) but she refused to accept it.
I am a member of AED also & many women have reported finding their ED on either bubhub or AED, so there are many kind hearted & generous women out there.
Of the many stories I have read about infertility, two factors stand out.
One, women have met their partner later in life & unfortunately their eggs are too old.
The second is women, like me have spend many years & many dollars on the 'baby making' journey.
I am not wealthy. I work part time so that I can spend time with my DD. I truly could not afford to pay an ED. The costs of IVF are almost unaffordable as it is.
For me, I would not want to tell my child that I paid someone to help Mummy have a child. I much prefer to say that a wonderful, giving woman helped Mummy have a baby and I will always be grateful to her.
helpingfamily
31-10-2008, 15:36
Hi Everyone,
I am new to this site and so hopefully I am doing this correctly. I have read through the information that was put up but still have alot of questions.
I have recently been asked to donate eggs to a close relative. She is tyring for her 2nd child but with her new Husband and unfortuntley IVF hasn't been successful for them as her eggs are too weak. She is only mid 30's but we have a family history of early menopause.
I haven't started my family yet as I am only early 20's so my first question is...if you become a donor does the process you undergo with all the hormones and injections affect your ability to have children?
Looking forward to your replies.
Helping Family.
.if you become a donor does the process you undergo with all the hormones and injections affect your ability to have children?
Hi!
There is a small risk to your own fertility - but that risk is less than 1%.... I have only ever heard of one donor who's own fertility was affected after she donated but that was more due to ectopic pregnancy than her donation. I have known far more go on to have more children of their own after donating (I can probably count 6-8 in the last 18 or so months)...
Chyvonne McCalman
16-01-2009, 16:00
I've just started thinking about donating my eggs and I found this information really interesting.
I'm glad it didn't come from an emotional perspective. At this time in my decision process I don't need to be swayed by emotions. I don't want to jump into anything based on emotional impulses. I want this to be a solid decision based on realities.
I've had four children and I'm done. If I were to fall pregnant then I would never consder not raising that child. When I talk donating eggs, that to me is a potential child that will never see its full potential in my body. Why not give it to a couple who can really allow that potential to blossom. I don't see it as a child I'm giving away because for me that egg would have never become anything more than a period.
Hey... Im 40 and have number one son at 2 and a half and number 2 is here in 3 weeks... Family done for this black duck. However, I have a friend who is single but super stable etc who has not had much success with ivf so I was considering offering her my eggs... Can I do this. I think I would be rather fertile as we got pregnant first try both times and my hiusbands sperm are slow etc and he has low testosterone. Any thoughts?
You could try, although the clinic may not let you cycle due to your age. Ideally, donors are under 38, and some clinics even prefer they are under 35.
Also, you need to have finished breastfeeding and have had 2 normal cycles before you can do an IVF cycle, so that could be 6-12 months (or even more!) before you would be able to commence a cycle. And I hate to say it, but at 41, I would doubt that a clinic would let you cycle as a donor :( Very lovely of you to be so kiind of heart though!
bugger... Breast fed number one son for over 18 months so time would be sliding away... Think I will chat to my Obs about it as he also runs a fertility clinic locally... Thanks for your thoughts...
Wow ! that is deep it is real it is the sharing of life. I am new at this site and I have been thinking about donating my eggs for a while now. Its a scary thought ,a full grown egg , the little human you shared with someone contacting you in the future. Its not near as scary as the thought of not being able to have a baby on your own. Thank you sarah for sharing the realness of donating eggs it makes me happy to know people think of all aspects. What is the best way to start the process ?
This is probably a bit of a silly question - but, can eggs only be taken during ovulation?
If having a procedure (EG: caesarian or other op) can anything be done whilst under, an eggs be donated whilst having another op?
ThreeDucklingsDown
09-04-2010, 12:55
Melannh - The eggs can only be taken at the point of 'ovulation'. Well that is my understanding.
It is all very well timed ... right on the hour basically and all the medication that you take enable you to produce more than one egg on most occasions. Normal cycle that we do every month usually produces only one egg, but with the medication, I have heard of some women getting up to 48!!! This was a bit of a record in my books!!! But I would say the answer is pretty much a dead flat no, because you need to be on the meds to produce more than one egg and also your cycle is, as I said, monitored right down the the hour for when they do surgery to collect.
Hope this helps.
3DD
ThreeDucklingsDown
09-04-2010, 12:56
Oh and I just wanted to say, it wasn't a silly question at all. I had NO idea about anything really until I started reading up on it all at the beginning. So please, ask away. Nothing is ever considered silly.
Luckyme1
22-04-2010, 07:41
Hi as I've had two miscarriages I've been thinking About egg donation is an option for us. Do you know how long it takes to find one in Australia through advertising on forums etc?
mammaof2
10-07-2010, 21:51
I am 26 years of age and have been searching for information regarding donating my eggs. I have discussed it with my husband after we decided not to have any more children and we have come to the conclusion that while I am healthy, young and verile i might as well donate my eggs to help those who are unable to concieve naturally.
We have friends who went through IVF and had to use egg donors and if the 2nd egg had of failed I would have approached them to help them have a child.
I know you may think I am too young to make this decision, but I feel that if I am not going to use them, then I may as well give someone else the opportunity to feel the joy of having a child of their own.
I applaud the fact that you have made this information available as I was informed through my friends that the only way that they could obtain an egg was via ads run through the IVF newsletter. I am VERY keen to be led through the right channels to donate. It is not a decision I have taken lightly, I have read all your information and am willing to meet and even have regular contact with the child if they wish so. I will always wonder where they are and what they are doing, but I will also know that without my help, they would not have a wonderful family who wanted them immensely!!
ANYONE WITH INFORMATION REGARDING DONATING PLEASE MESSAGE ME!!!!!
ThreeDucklingsDown
11-07-2010, 07:44
Hi Mammof2
What an amazing friend you are. Just popping in briefly to say there is an awesome site full of donors and recipients alike (such as your friends) called Aussie Egg Donors. It too is full of information and great for any silly questions you may have.
It may take a couple of days to login as the girls that run it do it in own spare time. But hundreds of wonderful women over there for great support.
You will find all the information you need as you cycle etc.
Anyway all the best with your journey with your friend.
x 3DD
raisingthree
11-07-2010, 10:21
Agreed:yes:
mammaof2
11-07-2010, 14:09
Thanks guys for your support and I will check out the website mentioned. Thanks for the help!
:yelclap: :thumbsup:
leenco12
09-09-2010, 09:06
Hi cani
You are perfectly right when you say that there are so many needing help. But I think that the info provided is good in that it does make you consider the really hard aspects of egg donation. The rights of the resultant child are important too and I think their right to know where they come from is critical.
From reading this information I know that I am just not cut out to be an egg donor. I could never separate myself from any egg I donated. To me it would be exactly like giving a child of mine away to other people to raise. It wouldn't matter how much contact I had. I would feel that the child were mine, which makes me exactly the wrong type of person to consider egg donation.
However, I love that there are some women (and their partners too) out there who have it within them to give this awesome gift to some very deserving people without conditions or entanglements. Such women are truly precious.
Cheers
i have donated twice now both times the ladies got twins...one anon through qld fertility centre and the other i chose someone off here and have done semi anon meaning i know her by email but we are not going to keep in touch...
personally i am not sure that i could know the person but that is me personally 9Keep in touch etc)....i think you need to be totally clear on what you are happy with re donation as is a big issue...
___________________
watch movies online (http://moviesonlinefree.biz/)
Ive been thinking about donating for awile now but wanted to know would bieng a mild epileptic be a factor in bieng able to?
Daydream Believer
27-12-2010, 06:14
Too many posts! Too many pages! Can I please ask what are most likely common questions, but haven't found the answers to? Does ED affect the donors fertility and/or future chances of conceiving? Does an ED's weight have any effect on the process?
Does a person who falls pregnant easily necesarily make a good potential ED?
How long after birth / breastfeeding can someone donate? Doma donor and recipient have to live locally to each other, and if not, does the donor travel to the recipient? How long would the donor be away from home?
Thanks :)
Hi, I'm 21 and have never really thought about donating eggs until yesterday when I was asked by a friend whether I would consider being a donor for a couple he knew who were having trouble conceiving and had asked him if he knew of anyone willing and trustworthy.
I'm still trying to process this concept.
I would really love to help them out BUT as you can guess, I have a billion questions and am really hesitant to commit to anything yet, so I'm looking into it.
I would firstly like to know how long the entire process takes (including all the appointments, ultrasounds, injections etc)? What is involved? Does it matter if you are a virgin?
I'm also anxious about my emotional strength/attachment to the child. I think I am already struggling with the idea of being seperated from a child that partially came from me. Does this make me someone who shouldn't consider egg donation? or is there a way that I can look at this differently that would, I suppose, detatch me?
There is so much to consider.
But I would reeeeeeeally like to help out someone who, just because her body won't respond for some reason or another, can't make a family.
Sweetfaith
14-01-2011, 21:19
I'm also anxious about my emotional strength/attachment to the child. I think I am already struggling with the idea of being seperated from a child that partially came from me. Does this make me someone who shouldn't consider egg donation? or is there a way that I can look at this differently that would, I suppose, detatch me?
Hi TJ
You are a special person for even thinking about doing such a wonderful thing for someone. I'm not going to try to answer all your questions but I will say that donating is often done by women who have already completed their own family. Younger people can do it but for various reasons, both medical and emotional, it is generally considered ideal that the donor has already completed her family. Your feelings about "giving away a little piece of yourself" may change with time and with the experience of having your own children. Stay in touch with your true feelings at all times and you will know if it is something you really want to do and when the time is right. You are certainly doing the right thing by getting information about the process before jumping in – get as much as you can before making any decisions and never donate unless you are 110% sure that it is what you want to do.
There is a lot of useful information on this site so have a good look round. Additionally, have a look at some of these...
egg donor faq – bubhub (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=146927)
useful links – donor conception information and support (http://www.*************.com.au/forums/index.php?showtopic=856655)
I hope you find this information useful. Good luck with your research.
:DSweetfaith
rubyandmaxarefurkids
19-01-2011, 15:13
hi there
as a potential egg donor recipient, we are payimg all the costs & I know that the actual lovely egg donor will end up with about $2,000 when it is over, by no means can you put a price on such a thing though!
mrsdj1234
19-01-2011, 15:23
hi there
as a potential egg donor recipient, we are payimg all the costs & I know that the actual lovely egg donor will end up with about $2,000 when it is over, by no means can you put a price on such a thing though!
It is illegal to pay an egg donor for her donation! I can understand wanting to give something to a donor as a token of thanks, but giving a monetary gift is illegal.
mrsdj1234
19-01-2011, 15:50
I would firstly like to know how long the entire process takes (including all the appointments, ultrasounds, injections etc)? What is involved? Does it matter if you are a virgin?
I'm also anxious about my emotional strength/attachment to the child. I think I am already struggling with the idea of being seperated from a child that partially came from me. Does this make me someone who shouldn't consider egg donation? or is there a way that I can look at this differently that would, I suppose, detatch me?
Time wise it can take as little as a few months, depending on the state you and your IPs cycle in. Firstly, once you decide to donate, you have a counselling appointment, where you discuss all the possible problems that can arise from donation. Then you have an appointment with the fertility specialist, where you discuss the physical side of the cycle - so the meds, the surgery to retrieve the eggs, cycle monitoring, type of cycle. Then you can start cycling.
The length of cycle depends on the protocol the fertility specialist prefers donors to do. Cycles can range anywhere from around 14 days - 30+ days.
What the actual cycle entails depends on FS preferences too.
Generally you take medication to suppress the ovaries and stop you from ovulating. There are 2 types, nasal spray and injections. Then you take medication to stimulate the ovaries to produce multiple follicles (to produce multiple eggs) - this is an injection. During this time you have blood tests and ultrasounds to monitor your ovaries to make sure you don't over stimulate or under stimulate. 36 hrs before egg pick up, a trigger injection is needed to release the eggs, to aid pick up.
I would imagine it would matter if you are a virgin (with hymen intact), as you have internal ultrasounds, which is called 'dildo cam' by most women. This is most important for the egg collection, which is an ultrasound guided needle into the follicles to collect the eggs. The needle is inserted through the vaginal wall to reach the ovaries. This is all done under either local or general anesthetic (again FS preference).
I personally think of egg donation the same way I think of blood donation or organ donation. The eggs retrieved are not being used by me, so why not give them to someone who needs them.
It is recommended that you should have atleast one child before donating, as there is a small, but still possible chance of affecting your own fertility.
Good luck in making your decision. I hope I haven't put you off, but there is no point sugar-coating it.
Hi ladies,
I'm thinking of being an egg donor but it seems I can't access an inbox with my bubhub account...? Not sure what I'm doing wrong/what I've omitted to do.
I've done the IVF stimulation, egg pickup rollercoaster and had good response to the drugs they used (collected 30+ eggs) and am thinking of giving the gift of being parents to another couple. The IVF process didn't bother me at all.
Anyway, good luck to everyone who's searching and who's trying to be parents. Parenthood is truly an amazing thing.
J
KatiesMum
17-02-2011, 23:21
Hi Jay
firstly - you cannot access our pm system unless you have a certain number of posts (cant remember if its 5 or 20)
secondly - are you in Australia? Usually the egg donor and intended recipients cycle together ... or at least go through the process together as the eggs are fertalised the day of the egg pick up.
So if you dont mind me asking - why have you done the cycle already and are only now considering donation?
luv2bamumagain
18-02-2011, 09:35
Hi Jay
Yep I'd like to know more as well. Much what 'Katies mum' is saying.
But def know you cant access the PM system until yr had sufficient postings
mrsdj1234
18-02-2011, 11:20
My guess ladies is that jay has gone through ivf. I've heard of other women who have gone though ivf due to male factors and gone on to donate their eggs.
If you want to contact someone jay you need to post some more. Do a few of the game threads to bring your count up quickly.
Sent from my GT540 using Bubhub
RiffRaffMama
11-04-2011, 20:27
Ive been thinking about donating for awile now but wanted to know would bieng a mild epileptic be a factor in bieng able to?
AliG I have epilepsy too and most forms are not hereditary so unless you have an unusual type I'd say it shouldn't matter.
wrighty2
29-07-2011, 05:10
Really informative I have learnt a lot thank you x
Hope for all
25-08-2011, 18:17
Hi, I just have a question about ED - does the ED get screened healthwise, I mean like do they get checked over to make sure they don't have any hereditary diseases that could get passed on to the child? especially if you're receiving an anonymous egg how do you know if nothing hereditary has been passed onto the child, which you'll now be responsible for? Because I'm pretty sure they check male's sperm before they pass that onto someone don't they?
i'm actually not sure ... it's just a random question i guess.
:wave:
yes Hope they do they have bloods and they have to fill in a questionaire about their family history right down to their parents history, they are also asked lots of questions regarding any health issues for their partner incase any STDs have been passed on hope that answers your question.
Hi, I just have a question about ED - does the ED get screened healthwise, I mean like do they get checked over to make sure they don't have any hereditary diseases that could get passed on to the child? especially if you're receiving an anonymous egg how do you know if nothing hereditary has been passed onto the child, which you'll now be responsible for? Because I'm pretty sure they check male's sperm before they pass that onto someone don't they?
i'm actually not sure ... it's just a random question i guess.
:wave:
Crescent
05-12-2011, 21:49
Hi
SarahSF.
Thank you for posting this is such a wonderful informayion not just for ED but for Recipient too..
Crescent
We praying to find our angel :angel:egg donor to fulfill our dream hopefuly soon :fingerscrossed:
FallenAngel14
07-12-2011, 19:40
Thankyou for the article on egg donation. After reading this it just makes me want to do this for someone even more. I do have a couple of questions regarding donation though. I myself have struggled with fertility, i have had every test under the sun to work out why i have a hard time conceiveing with no answers. Can people with "unexplained" infertility still donate?
The other question i have is to women looking for a donor, what kinds of information do you want/would like from a donor? The reason i ask this is I have a friend who was adopted and her birth mother made up a little scrapbook album with things like family history, a photo of herself etc. Which i think was such a lovely thing for my friend growing up as most children at some point want to know where they come from. Is this something you could do as a donor?
This thread has been very interesting to read. I live in Sydney, am 33 and have finished having children (girl, 6, boy 2.5). I have been thinking about donating my eggs for quite a while now and feel I understand a lot more about the process and feelings involved on both sides after reading through this site and a few fertility clinic sites. To be honest my hubby is dead against it because he doesn't understand it properly and worries that I will be in pain, but at the end of the day it doesn't really affect him and this is a gift I would love to give a family (or families). I was a product of early DI in 1977, back when it was all anonymous and no records kept. I don't even think the sperm donation was frozen before use. I found out about my parentage when I was 19 and eventually came to terms with the fact that there are no records, medical or otherwise about my biological parent however I am very close to my parents. If I was to donate my eggs I am adamant that the child eventually be told the truth and my contact details given to them so they can satisfy their curiosity - because I guarantee that's all it will be, they won't be looking for a parent, just for information, which they are entitled to. I know if I could have information on my sperm donor parent, I would like a photo, medical history and some personal information about their life and what they like etc. Any thoughts?:cheerleader1:
jo-anne.36
21-12-2011, 20:07
well ladie good luck i do hope that you can help some body like me to become a mummy,daddy jojo
Hi Jo-Anne
No luck with a donor yet?
Crescent
22-12-2011, 01:28
Hi
Ladies another good luck from me to you and I wish you would be abal to find your right recipient .
Crescent.
__________________________________________________ ________________
My husband and I desperately looking for our angel egg donor to find us to fulfill our dream :fingerscrossed: hopefully soon .
Luckyme1
22-12-2011, 16:50
Becky78 I agree with your sentiments, that you want any child born from your donation to know who the donor is. I think that's how most clinics do it now anyway.
Why not contact a clinic to find out the procedure, or go to the Aussie egg donors website where you can find out more regarding possible recipients and meet other donors.
Good luck on the journey, it is a wonderful gift you are giving someone.
Thanks, think I will after xmas :)
Becky78 I agree with your sentiments, that you want any child born from your donation to know who the donor is. I think that's how most clinics do it now anyway.
Why not contact a clinic to find out the procedure, or go to the Aussie egg donors website where you can find out more regarding possible recipients and meet other donors.
Good luck on the journey, it is a wonderful gift you are giving someone.
Amatullah22
04-04-2012, 22:24
Hi my name is Amatullah caterina and I am very interested in donating my eggs to beautiful and caring couples whom are in desperate need of creating a family if you or any one knows of any one interested as I have been told I am very very fertile I am 38 years old I have had 5 children of my own all very healthy and beautiful and I am in a transition in my life to make a difference in others.please let me know I am in Adelaide my number is 0424654992 thankyou...[ within the movement of a smile is Love ] ..
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