skinnymicko
29-10-2007, 23:06
Hey guys and gals out there reading the very first post ive ever written online and the topic wow i trust strangers lol but hey you are all good people im sure. Well im mick-o im 26 and i have anorexia. Pls understand that the term anorexia can just mean no appetite and differs from 'anorexia nervosa' unfortunately the term gets missused often, nervosa is by choice from a psychologically distorted perception of ones own physique, thus a much harder animal to treat than anorexia on its own. My 'anorexia' is actually something that evolved in me over time where my desire to eat became few and far between to the point where i had forgotten what it was like to have my mouth water over a nice baked dinner, it felt like i simply stopped the biological need to eat. I am 6ft and in december 2005 i weighed 87kg of nice muscle, i excercised and ate well and looked ggggggreat. then slowly my appetite decreased as did my meal size and frequency and over one yr had lost 10kg. I didnt think there was any problem at this point i just thought it was aging i guess and i still felt fine. From then on the trend continued but at nearly tripple the rate, by june this yr i was 56kg. In feburary i knew something was up but i still felt great and i didnt look to bad at about 74kg so i just forgot about it. But It didnt take people long to start asking questions and i didnt quite know what was happening to me, my whole body began to ache my stomach would twist and churn and if i tried to eat it wouldnt stay down that which did go down would just run out my butt like boiling water and battery acid, my chest and lungs always felt like a huge bag of cement was resting on it, so i couldnt breathe my bones were poking out and my body was dissappearing before me and i had zero energy to do anything i didnt even have the strength to socialize with people even coming to my house. I started to panic and was soo scared to go to a doc because i thought i had a terminal illness and im the kind of person who would rather not know and just die than be diagnosed and told 3 months buddy! so keeping my mouth shut, mind the pun, was not hard. I was looking really bad at 67kg and at the end of may for one week i stayed in bed hardly moved or try to eat a thing, all i could do was sip lemonade then come june around my b'day i collapsed finally from the malnutrition and my mother rushed me to the hostpital and i weighed a wopping 56kg and i looked like a creature. Stubborn jerk i am refused treatment and tried to do it myself by just forcing myself to eat and eat for one month, i did this and all it did was result in more agony and weight up by only 1kg i was still screwed and just became motionless. Then i drag myself to a health food shop the woman had a bulemic daughter and was just majic for advice and nutritional guidance. i had a torn and missing tummy lining, minimal digestive enzymes, ulcsers and bloody acid problems. Why was i eating much more but feeling worse? no digestive enzymes therefore what ever i put in basically the same amount drained out. Now this lady gave me slippery elm to put a temporary stomach lining to make eating less painfull, digestive enzyme tablets to take before meals to make sure i get the nutrients from the food, folic acid pills for after to limit any later burning, sublingual protien powder so i dont have to eat meat, normal protien powder, grape juice and some special honey with healing properties. Now sticking with these suppliments while eating very small amounts to start with 3 times a day and only eating soft non tummy upsetting food for one month has absolutely worked a treat ladies n gents! i trained my appetite to come back regularly, as we all learn from birth. Starting with meals that could fit in a table spoon to now no longer needing the suppliments and my diet is still a working progress but i can now eat all normal foods but because of the starvation obviously my guts shrunk and cannot accomodate as much as before but im building towards it. i now weigh 66kg and i feel soooo much better inside and without all the malnutrition, my organs and most important my brain is working as normal, im not stressed and depressed anymore. Im not out of the woods yet but i am heading in the same direction everyday and my target weight is 75kg cause thats when i looked HOT!! lol anyway thanks for those who read
Ive left heaps out or i would be here all night anyone welcome to chat to me or email anytime.
cheers micko
Ive left heaps out or i would be here all night anyone welcome to chat to me or email anytime.
cheers micko