he wont give up

[babyniamh]

hi..
my boyfriend refuses to give up smoking weed and drinking every night.. im close to leavin him over it..
i love him to bits but im sick of livin with a zombie.. every night is like talking to a two year old..
he thinks there nothin wrong with it..
we have a four month old little girl and i dont want her to grow up in this situation.. i cant leave the child with him cos he's said he doesn/t think it wrong to have had a smoke while minding her, so i have her with me the whole time..
ive asked hm to cut out smokin for 2 nights a week as i know it hard to go cold turkey.. but hes clever and when the night comes for him not to smoke, he invites other couples up that smoke cos he knows i cant say anything on front of them..
am i wrong for not wantin my child to grow up in this...:(

[AM]

Honestly, get out now! I grew up in a household like that, and it was a really traumatic childhood. I was so bloody relieved when we left my father when I was 13, but I went through 13 years of the ****.:no:

[missie_mack]

I think the first step would be to associate with more people who don't smoke. I agree its not a healthy environment for children :no: It teaches that it is ok to do some illegal things. I guess the hard bit for you will be that he isn't really wanting to give up or prepared to really try....
I found people I knew/know who are like that tend to be stuck in a rut and go no where.

Hope you can work this out and he is willing to compromise for the sake of everyone :hugs:

[mikaylasmummy]

I am sorry if I am being mean but....
I would get out asap, obviously he does not want to quit for you or even your baby, that is not the sort of man/boy you want around your baby is it.
I know you love him so it's hard, but when the next man comes along you will forget all about him.. Good Luck

[neostudded]

Tough situation your in, :hugs: I agree it isnt a good thing for a child to grow up around.If I were you I would leave him if he wont stop.My dad smokes it & two of my siblings now smoke it they think there is nothing wrong with it (They do it with him!).I know alot of people who smoke weed it messes with there brains in the long term...Ive noticed smoking weed almost always leads to other problems to.I think its terrible that he doesnt see anything wrong with doing it around your beautiful DD, it doesnt sound like he want's to stop.

[AquaDevil78]

From what you said he is in no hurry to change, doesn't realise/care what you think/feel or has no concerns about you or your childs health. If that was my partner i would kick him to the kerb.

Sorry to be so harsh, or blunt, but maybe that is what he needs to give him a wake up call.

:shame:

[Lastcenturymum]

He's putting himself before you and your baby. Move on now - for both your sakes

[greengables]

Honestly, get out now! I grew up in a household like that, and it was a really traumatic childhood. I was so bloody relieved when we left my father when I was 13, but I went through 13 years of the ****.:no:

:thumbsup:

[~Bec~]

I agree with the others.
He's putting smoking weed and drinking before the health and well being of his own child - that's abuse in my opinion.
Anyone who says it does no harm is wrong - just ask any family of a daily weed smoker.

[mama kare]

first of all.. i just want to ask one thing.

do you know why he smokes weed? has he been through anything traumatic that maybe he tries not to think about or remember?

all i can say is a lot of people tend to turn to drugs because they are unhappy with something in their life. im not saying its you or your bubba honey - really hope you dont take that the wrong way.. :(

im not saying smoking around your baby is okay either..:shame: just maybe there is a reason for his "trying to escape" with a narcotic?

ive tried weed once or twice, didnt like it myself, but i can say that my head was so foggy afterwards - i didnt think much and i felt very 'relaxed' - the reason i dont do it though is because i am a mama and i dont think its right for a child to be around that sort of thing.

just firstly though, see if you can find out if he is escaping from anything.. its not right for him to do it around DD i know and i agree.. and if you cant ask him without an argument ect, tell him you are thinking of leaving him.. see what he says then i guess and play it out to see if he is willing to give it up.. if not - then go.

but try and find out why first.. he may have a hidden reason for it.

if it is just because he 'enjoys it' - tell him you're thinking of leaving if he cant show that hes willing to give it up.. all you can do is try it. :thumbsup:

[Starlet]

I was in this situation with my ex. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't. We split up 4 years ago and he is still the same :(