single, lonely and tried

[tyler's mum]

tyler will be 6 months next thur:smiliedance: .... she is the best thing that has ever happen to me,,,,, however i've been finding it so hard being single lately,,, i have not been with a man, kissed a man or come close with doin anything since i was with tylers dad,,, almost 14months ago,,, don't get me wrong this is not about sex,,, i have'nt really got my sex drive back yet:rolleyes: ....

i have never done well with relationships or being happy for that matter,,, i'am a basket case at the best of time [i'm not afarid to say iam] i just don't understand way i can't just be happy.....:confused: ..... having a healty, happy, beauitful baby should be enuff,,, but still in the back of my head im so full of anger, stress, sadness,,, i don't want tyler to grow up with a mum who is always sad,,, i haved try to get help and take tables for this but nothing i do seems to work,,,,

every one keeps telling me things will get better but i have been hearing this since i was 15 or so,,, i just want to be happy and have one day when i dont feel sad, tried, stress and just have a mind that is free of any thoughts,,,

sorry for goin on and on:ecomcity:

[rynosmum]

Sounds like you are going through a pretty rough time.

Have you tried any type of counselling ? Sometimes it helps to have someone to poor all of this out to and to disect it. There are often underlying causes for our stresses in life.

Best wishes...

[kimmy]

Awwww Tam you are making me cry, look you are a lovely chick from what i know of you & kind hearted, you have a beautiful lil girl there too.
i know you dont want to hear this but i am sure that things will turn around for you soon.
I really dont know what else to say to you but dont feel lonely *hugs* I'm here for you. :kiss:

[tyler's mum]

my mum put me in counselling when i was young but not for very long,,, i have been thinkng about trying it again but am scare,,,,

[rynosmum]

No need to be scared. If anything, it should be a step toward your future happiness - you deserve that !

[MissBrightside]

I hear ya too Tylers mum. I feel the same way most of the time. I have two wonderful kids a great family, but i have very low selfesteem and confidence, partly due to my ex. Not that I can blame everything on him, but verbal abuse takes its toll.
Also kids are a different kind of company to an adult or man who loves you and takes care of you and makes you feel special. I hope i meet this kind of person oneday.
People keep telling me i have to love myself, but im like you i dont know if i know how to?

[tyler's mum]

the thing is i have been so sad for so long i'm not so sure if i know how to be happy,,,, i also been told i need to love myself before i can let anyone love me,,, this may sound wried... but if you take away the hate, sadness, stress and the anger i dont know who iam..... and thats the truth

[MissBrightside]

I suppose at least we know one thing we are happy about. And thats not being with our kids dads in our lives!

[tyler's mum]

tyler is the only reason i get outta bed most morning,,,, and i know thats not a good thing

[MissBrightside]

Tam you just gotta stay positive. Im trying I dont know who i am or how to love myself, i just hope i will know oneday. Iknow its hard. I have no friends. Only my kids and my family. I still feel really lonely. Sorry if I keep talking about me but I just want you to know your not alone. I feel for you.

[tyler's mum]

thanks,,, it's just hard i see so many people who are happy and i just wonder why can't that be me:confused: .... i think i may give counselling a go,,, i need to think about tyler now and what she need is a mum who is there for her love her and can show her that life is hard but can be a happy place as well

[MissBrightside]

see you just gave me some advise i think i too might have to speak with a counsellor. I always look at other people and think why cant that be me. I said this to mum once and she told me that even though people may seem fine on the outside you dont always know what their lives are like. They may have lives that suck too!

[sasholi]

Hi tam.

I have been seeing counselling now for nearly six months. I too had depression since I was 15 and it just got seriously worse when I had my gorgeous bubs.

It is the best thing I have done! I still have bad days where I just feel lonely and sad, despite having a beautiful son and husband. I still tell myself I'm a terrible mum etc sometimes... But I am trying to work through a lot of my childhood and my unresolved issues. But you need help. You cannot do it on your own, and that is OK and that is normal... Go to your doctor (if you have a good one you can trust) and they can recommend and good psychologist/counsellor. If you can't find one you trust and you live in the bris west area, let me know and I can give you the name of an awesome GP who you can talk to who can send you to a counsellor...

There is help. You deserve to be happy... You deserve that beautiful life.

You may not know yourself without the anger, sadness, pain and hurt. But you do exist behind and beyond those feelings. You just need help learning about yourself and learning how to *be* without all that extra stuff...

Good luck...

[tyler's mum]

thanks for all your reply's,,, my doc as been trying to get me to go to counselling for yrs,,, i think its time to do it maybe it will help or maybe not but i have to try,,, this is no way to live..... maybe they can tell me how to move forward and leave my past behide and build a wonderful, happy and bright future for me and tyler....

[LittleBoysRock]

I just wanted to say that I think you must be an incredible woman. You are doing so well to be a single mum of that beautiful little girl. Sometimes I find it really hard and I am married.

Remember that you will find happiness in places that you least expect it.

I too have had counselling recently and was scared witless. I needed to go about things that have happened in my past but it helped SO much. I am no longer going. Something I learnt while I was going is that there is NO shame is getting some help.

Counselling might help you to make yourself happy. It sounds like you deserve to be hahpy for yourself and Tyler.

If you ever need somebody to listen or a friend, PM me.

Take care of yourself, :thumbsup:

[tyler's mum]

thank you simone some times i don't feel like such a great mum,,, but i guess all mum's feel like that at one point in time....

i'm goin to see my doc on monday... hopefully i get the help i need:rolleyes: .. letting go of the past is goin to be the hard part,,, and learning to let go free my mind and open my heart again,,, its been such a long time since i have let anyone get close to me,,,,,

i know life is to short,, and i don't wanna wake up one day and wonder what i have done with my life,,, some things are just not so easy to get over,,, :( ....

i guess counselling has worked for many people,,, so finger's crossed it works for me... i know there is a happy person inside me somewhere and i will find her not only for me but for tyler,,, she deserve the best of me so iam goin to do what i can do give her that....