single mum as of tonight !

[~MUMMY~]

well i will get straight to my RAGING VENT !

my partner has left me tonight for good ! he isnt coming back and i dont want him back... he is selfish and completely stupid and i hope he lives his life with this eating away at him FOREVER !!!!

HOW CAN HE JUST WALK OUT ON ME AND MY 3 YR OLD !!! i have been with him since i was 15 !!!!!! im now 21... i am past being upset now i am just MAD as hell...

direct quote from his fat ugly mouth !!! " im sick of fighting and i WONT change so its for the best"...

whatever happen to working out your differences and not necisarily changing who you are but atleast ADAPTING to others needs !!!

he wanted to stay and move out monday,.... HELL NO.. i made him march his *** down change the name on the rent to my name and he is out tonight... stuff must be out by sunday or else i am throwing it out the door ! yes throwing it right onto the concreat ! even his belived 130cm tv which he has always loved more than me!

ok well i feel sooooooo much better already but i am more upset for my son who is daddys little man... i am scared of what the future holds.. i have never been alone... never needed to be independant i am scared...

well thats it for now.. im sure i will be back later on a new rampage of angre.. but im trying to make this as simple as i can and not make life harder for me than it already is...

[brooke]

big hugs too you!

Its sad when relationships cant be worked out and even harder when there is kiddies involved!
I hope you have some friends or family that can help you thru this ruff patch!
You know we are always here if you need to vent!

[LittleBoysRock]

Things might be tough for a while but sounds like you might be better off without him (hope that isnt offensive!!).

I hope you are your little one find some peace and happiness really soon.

Hugs!

[Starlet]

Hey hun,

I'm sorry this has happened to you. It happened to me too. I have 2 kids and my ex left when our youngest was just 3 months old.

I went straight from living at home with my parents to living with him and never had to do it on my own. But I was fine, I managed and you know what, I was happier without him because I didn't have the fighting to get me upset and down.

You CAN do it, if I can, you can because I depended on someone my whole life until that point.

Good luck with everything and if you EVER want to talk, just e-mail me or pm me.

[nemosmum]

I have pmed you to send you a smilie:) hope you dont mind.

[tyler's mum]

breaking up is never easy and i'm sure much harder when you have a child together,,, becoming a single mum will be hard at frist,,, but it kinda grow's on you and in time does get better,,, hope things look up for the both of you:kiss:

[~MUMMY~]

thanx for the kind comments... even though it has only been like a few hours i feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better already ! like a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders !:yelclap:

now that i have let all my emotions out i can think clearly and i agree it was the right choice even though HE was the one who walked out. but tryed to say it was my fault he was leaving... whatever... selfish pig.

anyways now he is gone i can focus on bubba and me... i feel strong like nothing can bother me now.... well nothing from him anyways...

he was soooo weird about it... like he would look me right in the eyes and show no sadness he was going ... just nothing ..just a blank face... and well i dont want someone that doesnt want me...

im glad he left and i didnt have to... cause i can live in this house that i LOVE sooo much and i dont have to fork out for removalists....

[tyler's mum]

you seem very strong thats great,,, it's great you are already feeling better

[~MUMMY~]

im strong because i know it is right....

and i know where to go and what to do now where i can get help standing on my own two feet...

once i realised im not alone and people to help me well im fine. cause i know i wont be ignored and left to fend for myself. which was my GREATEST fear of being alone.

[tyler's mum]

seem you have your head on straight,,,, i was a single mum from the start,,, i still get worried i guess we all do,,, but like you i knew it was right for me to do it on my own,,, and tyler will be better for it aswell:)

[lukaelmo]

I think you sound super strong and you are going to be fine... bugger that, you are going to be great :D

[Melissa1983]

My Dh and i separated about 3 weeks ago now. And the relief that you feel off you shoulders is great isn't it.
I have a 3 year old and a 2 year old, and they have been better behaved since everything happened. So i think they like that Mummy and Daddy ain't fighting anymore.
I am only taking a day at time

Best of luck

[MissBrightside]

I also separated from my partner of 8 yrs two weeks ago. He is still trying to make me feel bad but im not going to. My kids also are better behaved. Its more relaxed at home we dont have to worry about what mood he is coming home with anymore. And noone speaks to me like im a piece of crap there to take it all the time. I can do what i want and if he dosnt like it he can jump. He came over today trying to intimidate me, he made me want to cry but i didnt let him see. Which i think made him madder. We were civil about it all two days ago but for some reason he didnt think i spoke nicely to him on the phone this morning so he is going to start playing hardball. WHATEVER!!!

[~MUMMY~]

well day 1....lol

he came to get more stuff... if he hasnt gotten everything out by today thats it he doesnt get it ~

i asked him cool calm and collected... whats the REAL reason he is leaving because he never gave me an answer which seamed good enough.. this is what he came out with.....

I CANT HANDLE THE KID ! HE IS TO MUCH FOR ME..(for gods sake it is his own son! he is 3.. how can you not handle a 3yr old !!! and he is a really good kid at that..yeah he squeals alot but what kid doesnt)

2nd excuse was.... he is sick of fighting.../ well ummm errrr thats when we are supose to talk it out right... but if he is not willing to change then obviously that never worked.

3. he is sick of cleaning..... /OHH PLEASE HE WASHES THE DISHES AND TAKES OUT THE GARBAGE ! THATS ALL HE HAS TO DO !!!

and those were his pathetic excuses...

ohh well.. such is life.

[Littlesmum]

Awww, this is so close to home.
22nd Dec my ex woke up with this idea that he wasn't a good dad and he didn't want to try. He said when he comes home from work he just wants to watch TV.
He is not the natural dad of my son but had been there when I was pregnant and in my life years before that too. All up we have spent 9 years together.

I strongly believe that there are underlying reasons there and there is nothing we can do to make them see that.

So I moved out of his beloved house, left him with his beloved car and his well earned debts that go along with it.

My little boy is happier than I have ever seen him before. I kind of feel guilty that I have deprived my son of this happiness for all of his life. He now socialises with children better and wakes up happy

Also, Mr X is realising the grass aint greener on the other side.

I know in my heart I cannot be put through that pain again by him so I hope for his sake he's made the right decision...

See, look how strong I'm getting...

My advice: Draw up a roster for each day of the week. Section it into morning, afternoon and evening .Each day and each section must have an activity in it.
Ie Mon Morn: Library : Afternoon: Adam sleeps, mum reads or talks to friend on phone. Evening: Craft time, cook cake.

I find if I have a spare moment I spiral and before you know it i'm on the couch scoffing down chocolate and asking myself questions I know I cannot answer.
I'm discovering being single has its benefits too.

good Luck, keep intouch...

[MissBrightside]

Listening to all you other single mums makes me feel so not alone. I used to think how could this happen to me what did i do to deserve to be treated like this. Till id just had enough. i know i dont want to live by someone elses rules for the rest of my life.

[loopi1]

It's amazing to sit here and read everyone's story and to find out how many off us have the same cirumstances and who have slightly different stories. But we all on this thread have one thing in common, we are single mums to beautiful kids :thumbsup: who's father is going to miss out on the best thing they ever help create. Their LOSS!!:(

I have also found just by reading these posts how strong us single parents really are, everyone has down days but all in all no one other than another single mum can understand wat we have to go thru.

All my best wishes to everyone who have recently seperated, it is hard but it will get better and easier.

To all of us who have been single from the start, we r not alone anymore

To all single mums (and partnered mums) WE ROCK!!!!!!:smiliedance: :yelclap:

[tyler's mum]

it's very strange when you believe that there is no one out there who undestands what your goin through,,, and then you find pretty much every second person is single,,, and even when they have a hubby they have the same fears just like us..... and there is always someone on here ready to give you some great advice...:thumbsup:

[~MUMMY~]

it's great to read all this and i REALLY LOVE the idea of a like a chart thinggy just to get things done... since the house was left trashed when he left i found it hard cleaning by myself today knowing it is always just going to be me and bubba now... but if i had it written down and i know what to do instead of looking lost i will beable to maintain this little home of ours.

i dont know if it was guilt or just sympathy or actually caring... but today he came over to get a few more things and he knew we had not much food in the house and well i DONT have any money... ok 15 bucks ....cause he was all our income and centrelink isnt going to do anything till the 2nd march because thats the day they booked to make sure we didnt change our minds.. :confused: to bad if something happens i have a kid no transport and 15 bucks to my name... gawd this is going good so far... anyways

after he was done he left.... and came back later tonight with some food for me and my son... just some bread and meat and some milk to see us through the week. that was kind of him.. then he left again... and i wont hear from him again till he has his work roster sorted out so we can plan some visatations for him and son.

things are going ok so far... it is hard to get motivated to do everyday work but im ok with the idea of being single...will just take some adjusting....

and bubba is being sooooo good today makes life so much easyer.... he is already use to the scene of not having daddy around much cause he worked every day anyways so thats nothing new... and they will have 1 whole day together each week and 2 afternoons... so he is still seeing him a fare bit...

im ok.. life will be ok im sure of it.

cheers thanx for listening.:yelclap: :ecomcity:

[MissBrightside]

You go girl!:smiliedance:

[stilldreaming]

Wow all you ladies should be so proud of yourselves! Its amazing what you can acheive and it sounds like all of your children are happier now anyway. That is fantastic!
Well done you are truly an inspiration!:yelclap:

[justtwogirls22]

just wanted to say good luck you seem to be doing so well so far :thumbsup:
i too am newly seperated but so much happier
just remember the old saying if it doesnt kill you it makes you stronger

[Grizabella]

Hi guys, I'm not a single Mum, but I grew up in a single parent household, so I thought I'd give it to you from my perspective.

The spermdonor (I'm sorry, my father) left my mother when she was 26, with a 5 yr old and 3 yr old(me). When he was home ( he was a truckie) he used to hit my Mum, verbally abuse her and was constantly cheating on her, and then one day when Mum came home with us from picking my older brother up from Kindy, she found him loading another woman's car with his stuff. Apparently he thought being a husband and father too much hard work, so he left us.

My Mum was a SAHM, and she had just recently had a double knee reconstruction, so she was unable to work. He also took the car from us when we came home, so we didn't have a car anymore. My Mum had to move back home to her parents, until she was better, and could get a job.

However she did, and I remember growing up not having much, but really appreciating what we did have, because I knew my Mum had worked her *** off for what we had. At one point she was working 3 jobs to pay the rent and food bills etc. and my brother and I were wearing 2nd hand clothes. However, because of my Mum's hard work and dedication, we have always had food, and plenty of love.

I have never once in my life regretted not having my father around, and when I grew older I realised what a loser he was. I am very proud of my Mum, especially since she never once trashed my father for the ******* he was, but let us know what we wanted about him, and let us come to our own conclusions. My Mum is the best person in the world and I love her even more knowing the things she sacrificed for my brother and I.

I just wanted all of you to know that your children will grow up admiring you and loving you for all that you have done for them, even though it was not easy. Also, none of you should ever feel like you are depriving them by not being with their fathers, you are doing them all the biggest favour of their lives my removing a negative influence in their lives and they will become better ppl for that. Keep up the wonderful jobs you are doing and know that you have done the best thing possible for your kids!

You should all be proud of yourselves for being wise enough to recognize that you were in bad situations, and for being strong to make that change, even though you were scared of doing it on your own. You will never be on your own because you have your children.

Conratulations guys, and good luck for the future!!!:yelclap: :yelclap: :yelclap:

[prettyinpink]

Hi, I'm pretty new to BubHub so I've only just seen the single parent thread and reading all of your stories gives me a bit of hope that things are gonna get better for me too. My partner of 5 years left me when I was 23 weeks pregnant with my daughter, after we'd just bought a house together closer to his friends and family and nearly an hours drive away form my friends and family. My baby is now 2 months old and her dad does drop around to see her a few times a week but he has just started spending a lot more time with his new girlfriend (some b*tch he met at work before we broke up, who is younger and thinner than me - sorry just needed to vent!) which is causing a lot of fights between the two of us. I spend a lot of time upset and feeling sorry for myself (hooray for chocolate!) and I know that that can't be good for Olivia to see me like that so I am trying to get out more, make the long drive to see my parents a couple of times a week and trying to catch up with friends on the weekends. But I guess its always going to be that little bit harder on your own.
It's been really good for me to read about your situations, to know that I'm not the only one by myself and that I can do this and my little girl is going to grow up to be a wonderful person, even without her dad around all the time.
Good luck and lots of love to everyone!

[loopi1]

Hey Katie

Welcome to Bubhub. :smiliedance:

You and Olivia will be better off without him, it already sounds like you are moving on and making Olivia priority 1, as it should be.

You will get a lot of info, support, fun and advice from this site. :yelclap:

Chin Up, most of us in this thread are going thru or gone thru what you are, so feel free to ask questions, vent or just chat.

Take Care

[loopi1]

Brionsmum, thank you so much for your story, it is so nice to hear the other side. I will everything I can to be the best mother possible and hope my DS grows up to appreciate me like you did your mum.

Good on you for that. :yelclap:

[Grizabella]

No probs! I just thought it would be nice for you guys to know that things do work out for the best in the end, and that you should all be proud of yourselves for being strong independant women.:hugs: :yelclap:

[melindabust]

i was left this week to so know how you feel think everyone does so vent away darl