Need help with nighttime routine

[lil monkey]

Hi all,

Haven't been here for a while - that's coz my nights are taken up with trying to get DD to sleep!!!

Daytime naps are great - put her in her cot with her dummy and asleep within 5 minutes for up to 2 hours.

Night time is another story. Most nights she gets to bed around 8/830pm - before then she just doesn't show any tired signs. Her wind down routing is a bath, little quiet play, bottle and story or two. Then we put her in her cot and sit next to her in a chair and pat for a bit - basically we could pat all night and she won't go to sleep. We leave the room after sitting there for up to half an hour and she screams from several minutes to half an hour.

I need advise on what to do! I want to put my baby to bed and she plays quietly or goes to sleep - how do we do this so I can get a life at night????:( :(

[MissBrightside]

i suppose you dont do anything different in the day to put her to bed?

[Baby Girl]

Have you tried maybe giving her a bottle in her cot while you sit with her. Both of my girls get very drowsy in a darkened room with a bottle. I used to sit with DD1 and give her a bottle and then put her down to sleep and sit and pat for a little while but she was usually asleep after her bottle anyway. Warmed up bottles seem to have a more tiring effect!!

Or...

Have you tried the same type of routine you use for day sleeps. ie. not sitting with her, just putting her down with her dummy. I do the same thing for all of DD2's sleeps regardless of day or night - now that she knows the difference.

Or...

What time does she wake from her afternoon sleep? Is it possible to maybe cut out the second sleep and make the first sleep later in the day. If my DD1 has a sleep anytime after 1pm she is powering until 9 or later! She has been like this since about 11 months. I changed her from 2 day sleeps to 1 a bit after she turned one and nighttime wasn't such a hassle as she was tired sooner IYKWIM.

Good luck - sending sleepy fairy dust your way...

[MissBrightside]

i had this problem with my first would not sleep still is a shocking sleeper. Now hes 3. I went to Tweddle which is a a sleep school for two nights did start to work but i didnt keep consistant with it and my ex didnt help me with it so i gave up in the end. My second though i never had a problem. So maybe you should try contacting a sleep school. I think they have waiting lists though. They are pretty supportive.

[lil monkey]

Been there, done that with sleep schools! Spent 2 weeks straight there but that's when her day sleeps were a problem. Night time she was in bed 730 with her dummy and not a peep and would sleep solidly til 7am the next day!

Now, her day sleep, we give her a drink and straight in the cot with her dummy - no patting etc.

She usually has 1.5 - 2 hours in the morning and sometimes an hour in the afternoon. Sometimes this routine is reversed or she will only have 2 x 40 minutes naps like today!

Sleep school helpline told us to establish a routine like we have and so the patting etc. But, for the past 4 months she has cried like this when we leave the room. Over it! :mad:

I hate hearing her cry but she won't go to sleep while rocking her, patting her etc so we have no choice. Co sleeping didnt work as it was playtime all night.:(

[MissBrightside]

How old is she? Are you giving her solids?

[MissBrightside]

sorry just looked at dob she would be by now. Has she always been shocking at night? Has her routine been different ? Eg holiday etc?

[lil monkey]

Yup sure are.

She just turned 1 - is having a hell of a time teething though and keeps getting viruses but her day sleeps are fine!

All of a sudden at 7 months, the sleeping through 7-7 from when she was 3 months stopped and she started to cry when we put her down at night!

[MissBrightside]

yeah my 15mo has been shocking with teeth the last few days took him to the docs cos he had these weird blisters on his tongue. He has coldsores on his tongue. Poor thing. Ive tried Panadol but he spits it out or chucks up. I tried Nurofen tonight and havent heard a peep.

[MissBrightside]

They know how to push our buttons dont they. I dont know what else to tell you. I know it feels hopeless been there. I still cant get my 3 yo to sleep without a fight so im probably not that much help!

[Baby Girl]

I just wanted to say that routines change and we as the carers have to allow that to happen and we have to change with it because we know how bubs don't - they just grow.

If the patting doesn't work and you don't do it in the day then maybe try putting her down at night EXACTLY the same way you put her down in the day. If she has a nap late-ish in the afternoon, try putting her down for an earlier nap or cutting out one day sleep altogether.

I know I said those things before but unfortunately for the tired mother - patience is a virtue and trying and re-trying things is about the only way you can find a solution. Don' throw your hands up and say well it doesn't work anymore, be willing to try lots of other ways. I know by putting this thread up that is what you are doing - trying to find other ways.

Do try to stay calm and don't dread bedtime as your bub will pick up on this and it will make trying to get her to sleep so much harder. It is so hard but go in everynight with the thought in your head that she is going to go to sleep quickly and quietly but try not to get frustrated if she doesn't. Walk away for 5 minutes if you have to but try not to let her sense your tension.

Good luck good luck good luck - patience patience patience!!

[MissBrightside]

That sounds like great advise. Good luck from me too.