Advice please!

[camstar]

Hi,
really hopeing somone can put this in perspective for me. I am 36 weeks preg with no. 2 and since about 16 weeksish I have been haveing bad pains in my pelvic area/lower abdomen. My sister and I are kinda close (in a :) love/hate :mad: kinda way)and I often look to her for advice (we don't speak to our familly and she's the older sibbling)so I kept asking her about these pains and she kept telling me to stop whingeing. Now it turns out it's that pubic dysfunction thingy and I could have taken precautions to stop it geting so bad. I feel really hurt now I reflect that she didn't take me seriously and pushed me to keep on with an everyday lifstyle even though it hurt. I know she loves me but even now that I've been told it is something she still is being really non compassionate about it. So, after this long sob story (sorry) what I want advice on is should I have her at the birth like we planed? My partner has talked to her and she is taken the "well I'm just not the sort of person to go 'there there'" approach. I just don't know if I want that attitude around when I'm in labour, I want the comfort and yes sympathy! I am a whinger (as this thread shows) but I whinge when there is somthing to whinge about. HELP! :confused:

[pippa]

HI Camstar,

i haven't got kids yet (we are trying) but honestly if your sister is not really interested in being at the labour then maybe she shouldn't be. I know that i wouldn't want anyone there that couldn't be positive and helpful, obviously you know what labour is (i presume) because this is your sencond so you know how distressing and hard it can get, do you want your sister to be there if she is going to be negative.

Maybe you should just have your partner??

Hope that helps, and goodluck with the next baby

Pippa :)

[camstar]

thanks pippa, your right I do need positive and helpful people around. Problem is, she does want to be there! If I do decide not to have her there it is likely to cause a fight between us (one where she won't talk to me for a while). I don't want to hurt her but she isn't being very helpful. If anyone has had a similar situation I'd love to know what you did. It's making me misrible :(

[WeThree]

hi camstar, you know your sister may want to be there but remember it is your labour, not yours and you can have whoever you want, it sounds like your sister is a bit jealous actually, and isnt going to give you an inch. so i say just have your partner, when a girl is in labour she deserves to have all the sympathy in the world and every request she makes deserves to be granted. if you are worried about how to tell her maybe say that you have been thinking and you have decided that the birth of your baby is a very special intimate time for you and your husband and you just want it to be the 2 of you, that way you are not making out that it is her, and if she still isnt happy, tough! she'll just have to get over it, your hubby, you and your little bubba are the people that matter in this instance, not her, good luck!

[Grace3]

Hi Camster,

I agree with all the other mums.

If it were me, I wouldn't be having my sister there OR anyone else if they were like that. You do need all the support you can get.

Let us know what you decide to do?

All the best

Chontel

[Baby Girl]

Have you tried asking her to look after bub no. 1 for you while you are in labour?
She would still be involved just not with you at the time... Maybe worth a try. If you wanted your first to be involved too then at least your sister would have to come and go with the little one and not be there with you the whole time (and I am guessing that most kids would rather explore the hospital corridors than hang out and watch Mum moan and groan).

Good Luck.