Every parents worst nightmare!

[DB&O]

Not sure if this is the right place for this, sorry if its not, not sure where to put it.

This morning while I was getting dresses, i heard a story on the radio about a local family who have just lost there 11 month old son. I couldn't help but stop & listen to their truly tragic & heartbreaking story. I sobbed uncontrolably. The parents took there 11 month old son to be with them & in the course of the night he became tangled in the bedclothes & suffocated, when they discovered what had happended the parents tried to revive him but were unsucessful. After hearing this story & knowing that my own 11 month old daughter will ocassionally come into our bed, I just lost it, she wasn't awake yet & was still in her cot but I had to go get her & cuddle her close, the thought of losing her is overwhelming & my heart aches for the loss these parents have suffered.
My question to hubbers is when is it safe to bring your child to bed with you? At the moment when Liv comes to bed with us we put her on my side & on top of our blankets with her own blanket that we keep in our room (I know I wouldn't always go remember to bring one from her room), is this safe or should I stop altogether (sp?), we co-slept when she was little & enjoyed it but now I'm petrified. Any advice?

[♥Heaven Sent♥]

I only put my daughter in our bed till she goes to sleep and then transfer her to her cot shes 10 months but id rather be safe than sorry i dont goto sleep till she is in her cot.I have heard horror stories too and it has scared me i just dont think it is safe cause we could roll on her without knowing and my partner is a heavy sleeper too.:shame: but thats just IMHO

[Mummabear]

While I was at Torrens House there was a girl there who lost a baby the same way. Whilst I like the theory of co-sleeping, being close to bubs and all that, I simply don't think I would ever do it for this very reason. Perhaps if it was just one parent and the baby, with no doonas and pillows I would feel differently, but I wouldn't take a baby into the marital bed. I get squashed by DH - DS wouldn't stand a chance :rolleyes:

[Foxy]

That is so sad there are no words.....

I have always liked the thought of co-sleeping and I know it works well for some, but I always knew that I would never get a good nights sleep with DS in the bed. I remember BF in bed during the night in the early months and totally freaking out when I had fallen asleep.

My heart breaks for them.

[moonblossom]

Even though this story is tragic, and absolutely devastating, I wouldn't stop co sleeping because of it. I have co slept with all my children. If we worried about everything that COULD happen, we would live in fear for the rest of our lives.

[Ana Gram]

I agree with moonblossom, there are so many things that COULD happen. If wee started playing the What If game with what we do with our kids or even ourselves , we would never do anything.

This is a heartbreaking ,tragic accident. One which the parents will probably blame themselves forever about but it was an accident.

[Sarie]

I agree with Moonblossom. Though we don't actually co-sleep there are times when they've been sick that we've brought them in with us. But if you live by 'what ifs' you're not really living at all.

[mumoftwoboys2005]

DS#2 sleeps beside me. DH sleeps in the spare room as he goes to work really early. I have never had a problem with littlie beside me apart from the fact that he's a bed hog.

[shinebrite]

My mum is the policy writter for Childcare and have just found out that SIDS has some new policies. they recomend.

#1 giving ur baby a dummy, if it can suck away it helps them with there breathing
#2 Not co-sleeping
#3 hireing a baby monitor that is SIDS approved. (im gettin one) it beeps if the baby stops breathing (which some babies just do from family experience) and can sence non movement

Hope that helps

[*Chels*]

that would be devastating!!!!!!!!!!
i put my bub down in his cot but when he wakes around 2am,i bring him into bed with me where i feed him lying down in the crook of my arm.then we both fall asleep during feeding.i used to sit up in bed feeding him but would often fall asleep sitting up then wake to find him rolled off my lap and not remembering what had hapened!i thought this was too dangerous so thats why i started feeding lying down.DS sleeps in middle coz once he fell out of bed:(
DF is so used to me hogging the bed that he sleeps right on the edge and DS is a bigger hog than me!!coz its hot we dont even really have a sheet on,but in winter i will be concerned bout doona but hopefully by then DSil be sleeping thru.
my little brother died of cot death at 11 weeks so i have always been paranoid bout DS.but my mum says its just the x factor,u can do everything sids reccomends but sometimes it just happens.i would die if anything happened to my baby!i dont know how my mum coped!!
the parents of this baby must be goin thru hell and feel so guilty.i feel for them:crying:

[brooke]

brooke I heard this on the radio also.. I was so upset I had to pull over to the side of the road! That poor family.. I really feel for them.. And how amazing was everyone in adelaide donating things to the family!

[LoopyLyndaLou]

Hi,

it is very devastating to hear when any child dies but as others have said I would not stop co sleeping because of this. Babies also die in their cots, from SIDS, getting tangled in bedding, overheating because of use of bumpers and inapproproate bedding, getting heads stuff between the cot and mattress etc.. It is one fo those sad facts that babies and children do die due to very sad accidents and if we tried to protect them against everything we would not be living and nor would they.

I ahve always been a paranoid mother, worrying about safety issues other people don;t even seem to have considered but after we lost our son Thomas due to stillbirth i was even worse. I ahve to actively stop myself from letting my fears control my life. I ahve ot admit to co sleeping, I have done it with all of my babies as none of them have been great sleepers and it was the only way I could get to sleep. We are always really careful about bedding etc, so much so that Toby, now 16 months absolutely hates any bedding and will kick it off. Neither me nor dh smoke and we don't really drink so I feel Toby is safe in our bed.

When he was very small I had a bedside crib with an alarm mat in it. I used to feed him whilst I lied down and then when he fell asleep I would just push him over in to his crib and turn on the alarm. Once he was bigger he would go to sleep in his own cot but when he woke up he would always come in to our bed.

I love the closeness of it and really miss it when he is not there (although don't miss it when he pulls my hair!!!).

I really feel for that poor family, they must be so devastated and will never get over the 'what ifs'. My thoughts are with them.

Lynda xx

[KatherineIV]

I have also heard some horror stories and a lady recently lost her 18month old little girl here... I have to tell you it scared the hell out of me.

When Morgan was about 4 days old I was breastfeeding him in bed.. sitting up... I was so exhausted from the previous few days that I fell asleep whilst breastfeeding.. I woke up SIX hours later. He had slid down my chest and was asleep in my arms on my stomach (I am so thankful I didn't roll etc.) From that day I always got out of bed to breastfeed. It scared me beyond belief...

He hasn't slept in our bed since!! Always his basinett and then his cot!!

[bronny-jane]

my kids are still in my bed due to the fact that at the end of the day im to tired to move them into there own and sit for 10 mins and wait for them to sleep again. as for rolling over onto your baby i noticed im a real light sleeper since i've had kids and actually wake up before i roll over. plus they can scream if they need to. its sad that people lose there child in any circumstance. they only thing you can really do is make sure they know you love them and spend as much quality time with them as you can.

[s.a.s.i]

Hi,

That is a very sad story to have heard. To think that a child could die beside their parents must have been heart breaking and I can only imagine the guilt they must be feeling unnecessarily. It is too sad for words. I am not a fan of co-sleeping with children simply because I don't sleep well when they're in my bed but I have occasionally done so... Infact the reason why I don't sleep is because when my oldest son was a month old I woke to find my hubby laying on him... SCARY, but he was fine. I read a lot of articals about co-sleeping after that and there are a lot of stats showing that it is a good thing and others where it isnt.

In almost all of the articals they sited it was safe for a mother to co-sleep with baby as her heart beat & breathing caused the baby to follow along in a symbiotic motion or so such thing. It reduces the chances if SIDS and many of the little quirks in the way a baby will breath irregularly and any mistaken heart rhythems which are apparently very common in little ones.

However, and isnt that a nice way of adding BUT... However a great many of the articals said it was unsafe for a man to sleep with a child. Now before any of you think to post me defending your husband/partner or signifigant other I would ask that you don't take this post personally. The doctors who wrote these articals claim that a mother sleeps a lighter sleep and is unconciously yet constatly aware of the child beside her while a father isnt. They gave a whole bunch of medical reason and mumbo jumbo but according to them daddies are not as aware as a momma is.

Love Kate xox


Mother to Sidney Michael born boisterous November 23rd, 1997 and Stephanie Maree born beautiful August 28th, 2001

Forever Remembering My Angel Baby Ishani Michaela... Born Sleeping November 23rd, 2005
forever with you, forever in me, ever the same