What does your stepkid(s) call you? [Archive] - Bub Hub Pregnancy & Parenting Forum

Xanthipants

19-10-2007, 15:44

My DSS calls me Mum as I have had him since he was 2 and he just began calling me this. This initally posed a bit of a problem as I had just started seeing his father ( DH now) for only a few weeks. We had to decide rather quickly where the relationship was heading so as not to confuse him later on. He is 7 now and is aware he has another mum (who he hears from roughly every 6 months if he4's lucky) and he's comfortable with the fact that he jsut has two mums. I think in todays society it's become the norm and seems acceptable to have 2 Mums or Dads.

tally

19-10-2007, 16:05

My kids call my DH by his first name... even if they wanted to call him dad I would discourage it..

EsSjAy

19-10-2007, 16:15

SS uses my first name as he has a mum which as far as I'm concerned is a privileged title...:)
My boys call my ex's partner 'meemo'... It was a name that a mutual friend of our used to call his mum when he was little cause he couldn't say mum... He still uses it... (he's 38) My ex and his partner had a little girl so it was better her hearing meemo than learning to call her by her first name and i wasn't keen on them calling her mum which she completely understood... Their little girl calls her mum now though and the boys still call her meemo.... I think it's cute...

OneBabyBoy

19-10-2007, 16:17

I'm not a step-parent but I grew up with a few step-parents coming and going over the years and only ever called them by their first name.
If my DS gets a step mother one day I would be horrified if he called her "mum". Same if I ever get a partner, he will be called his first name not "dad".

mythreelittlemonkeys

19-10-2007, 20:05

My DSK's call me by my first name accidentally sometimes mum slips out...though I discourage this as I know they tell tales on each other to their mother and she went loopy once about it...I am not their mother and therefore wouldnt expect to be called mum...different if they live with you and you are their primary carer...funnily enough DSD said that her mum had said to DSS he could call her DP Dad and he said no Dad is my Dad...

pegasus

20-10-2007, 01:11

My DSK's call me by my first name and sometimes by a shortened version (nickname - I voted both).

No issues here - I agree with others - mum is a privileged name, - they have a mother, regardless of what I think of her - she is still their mother and I don't want to replace her. I am lucky enough to have 2 children of my own and I'm happy that my two have the special relationship with me that I am their mum. It saddens me at times to watch the relationship the DSK's have with their mum- but it isn't my place to take over the role.

On another note, my DSK's have had a couple of men in their mother's life that they have called dad - leads to confusion and heartbreak - for both the children and my DH - particular when the mother breaks up with them.....

EskimoMumma

20-10-2007, 06:10

...I am not their mother and therefore wouldnt expect to be called mum...different if they live with you and you are their primary carer...

I don't agree with that. Stating that is clumping alot of complex and complicated sensitive issues into one pile.

Mum, Dad, mother, father are privilaged titles and I would be horrified if my child wasnt corrected when it was 'accidently' slipped out. I believe in saying "oh (insert childs name) it means alot to me that you obviously love/care for me that much but you already have a mum" etc.

It horrifies me that some people are excited that stepchildren call them mum/dad. No matter the situation/reputation of that REAL parent fact remains they are STILL their real parent.

(i hope im not coming across too rudely, i just find this thread hurtful and felt to say something)

MummyCharmzy

20-10-2007, 07:43

My son calls my husband daddy and always has with absolutely no dramas, I think its gorgeous. My son was only 9 weeks old when I started seeing him though and has no contact with biological.

Eta.. I do believe its different when the other parent is involved. My stepson calls me by my name and that is fine with me. I think it my sons biological was in the picture I would then have let my son decide what he calls my husband. I imagine he would have chosen daddy anyway though as it was just a natural thing for him as he learnt to speak thats what he heard alex calling him, so he called him that also.

I call my stepfather by his name but he has only been in my life since I was 17, on the other hand my father is not my brother and sisters but married my mum when they were still 1 and 2 yrs old... when mum and dad seperated they didnt stop calling my dad, dad... hes always going to be there father now just not biologically :)

mythreelittlemonkeys

20-10-2007, 08:31

I don't agree with that. Stating that is clumping alot of complex and complicated sensitive issues into one pile.

Mum, Dad, mother, father are privilaged titles and I would be horrified if my child wasnt corrected when it was 'accidently' slipped out. I believe in saying "oh (insert childs name) it means alot to me that you obviously love/care for me that much but you already have a mum" etc.

It horrifies me that some people are excited that stepchildren call them mum/dad. No matter the situation/reputation of that REAL parent fact remains they are STILL their real parent.

(i hope im not coming across too rudely, i just find this thread hurtful and felt to say something)

You obviously didnt read my post...that comment was just to add that I suppose that if a step mother lives full time with a young baby/child who calls them mum because they dont see their BM ever or much then it is different. Before you take offence read what is written I do NOT expect my stepchildren to call me mum as per my post and I discourage it - as I said I am not their mother they call me by my first name, if when asking for something mum slips out I always correct them or laugh and say its *my name*I know how hurtful it has been when DH has heard his ex is trying to get DSS to call her latest live in lover dad...
I am sorry you are offended by a thread that is merely asking a question about what happens in different blended families of all situations (some of these kids you should know have never met their dad or seen their mother and the step parent has taken on the role of bringing them up from day dot)
As for mis quoting me...really annoys me when people quote things out of context!

A Party of Five

20-10-2007, 17:07

(i hope I'm not coming across too rudely, i just find this thread hurtful and felt to say something)

I'm just asking because at the age of 32 I will have a step father and two step sisters :eek: My Mum is getting remarried on the 27th of this month, and I was just interested to know what other Bubhubber get called by their step kids. I know that I will continue to call him by his first name, as I don't even call my own father, dad.

ShadyCharacter

21-10-2007, 14:50

My kids call my DH by his first name... even if they wanted to call him dad I would discourage it..

My (ex) step-children called me by my first name, and once DSD asked to call me Mum. I told her I was her friend, but not her mother, and she already had a very nice mummy (:barf:).

I think its wrong to encourage otherwise personally, except in situations where the other parent is not in the childs life. I have friends who have actively encouraged the fathers DS to call the new wife Mum, and it annoys me to no end... as much as I dislike the childs natural mother, she is still his mother.

Meemo

21-10-2007, 23:37

Hey, :wave:
Was going to post reply to this one explaining why... But someone beat me to it!!!! (Thanks SJ!!!!:p) I am Meemo, my ss call me that, have done for years, but youngest ss used to call me 'sister', which was very odd as it started when i fell pregnant with.... you guessed it his sister, Tried lots of different titles, mummy Tracy was considered briefly, but neither 'mum' or myself were comfortable, and ss jr still continued to call me Sister, until we thought of Meemo, which ss jr started calling me straight away... So there you have it.. I think its cute, until dd was watching Dora and she rescued a HAMPSTER of all things by the name of... you guessed it Meemo. I don't think i look like a hampster... At least i hope not!!! Lol...:laughing:
Cheers!

our little treasures

22-10-2007, 00:46

My kids call my DH by his first name... even if they wanted to call him dad I would discourage it..

I would too.

I don't have step children but my mum and dad have divorced and have new partners I would NEVER call dad/ mum! I only have 1 dad and mum.

I agree with SC!!

Jeclipse

22-10-2007, 03:42

I call my stepdad, dad. As he has been my father figure since I was four. My real "dad" isn't much of a dad at all and only ever sends cards on special occasions, he never rings anymore so I dont see the pointin calling him dad when he isn't one:rolleyes:

erin94

22-10-2007, 03:52

Well my dssons, 1 calls me alot of other names under his breath, but he is 16.... but they call me by my first name, sometimes how they behave in public I am very glad they call me by that..:D

Issey

24-10-2007, 19:44

hi :wave: im not in a blended family, but a single mummy reading with interest as i have met someone who i know my near 2yo is quickly becoming attached.

i can see he is confused not seeing his own dad very often so i have to keep saying my bf's name as he has said Da a couple of times.

personally whatever works and is comfortable for each family is fine, it is nice to read the differences and everyone circumstances vary. :)

Caz1971

27-10-2007, 19:59

Hubby's daughter calls me a biat#$#$@ch...!!!

We dont see her though, her Mum has brain washed her...

:mad:

myprecious

29-10-2007, 09:19

Hi there
My s'kids are pretty funny with what they call me. Theres no pressure for them to call me anything in particular its just developed into nicknames.
My names megan but i dont think they have ever actually said it correctly. They'll jokingly call me Meeeeeegan coz i made the mistake of saying that it was annoying lol. Otherwise its megs, mugan, mugs, megsy or Meg-an in an american accent (since having had a friend with a bratz doll called meghan they liked calling me that.)
Out and about they'll proudly introduce me "this is my stepmum" or again jokingly as "this is my evil stepmother". that was probably encouraged by me saying I start to grow warts on my nose when there rooms are a mess!!
Ive even heard them clarify that im the "stepmum but not mean like in books and stuff"
There biomum is really good these days around them. just yesterday she called out when collecting them before a fete and asked if id put sunscreen on them. I had and her reply in front of the kids was you have the stepmum of the year!
Its good they are s'kids when they destroy a display in a shop and dont turn around and call me mum. That way people feel more sorry for me like Im just babysitting the terrors haha.
Its nice also they call my son their brother. There is never a question of him only being there half brother.
I better go I think I can hear someone calling Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegan! lol

A Party of Five

29-10-2007, 12:44

Hubby's daughter calls me a biat#$#$@ch...!!!

We dont see her though, her Mum has brain washed her...

:mad:

Here have some hugs :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

SweetAngels

07-11-2007, 09:08

SDD calls me by my 1st name, she has a 'mum'!

DD calls DP by his 1st name cause she has a dad.

And when DD's dad gets himself a partner I would prefer DD to call her by her 1st name, I'm her 'mum'.

For me its a respect thing. ETD: BC all bio parents in our situation are fully involved withour kids. Lets say DD's dad wasn't around, and my DP took on the father figure role, then DD could call him dad. In those circumstances its acceptable IMO

KarniF00l

07-11-2007, 09:18

My 3 eldest from a previous relationship call DH dad. Not because we wanted them to but because they wanted to. Their 'father' (if you would call him that) walked out when they were very young (3, 1, and 5months old at the time) and he hasn't had anything to do with them since then, which is probably a good thing. DH is the main male role in their life now, he supports them every way possible and loves them like his own flesh and blood. In all honesty I think they have every right to call him dad. :)

MissEdwards

14-11-2007, 13:11

Hi!
My DS calls my DP daddy! but as he doesnt know his biological father and has only ever known of my DP.
I broke up with the Sperm Donor a week b4 i found out i was preg. DP and i got together when DS was 1 but was always around and visited heaps.
Sperm Donor has only ever seen DS once and that was by accident at the shops at 4mths.
I actually love hearing my DS call my DP daddy as its his only father figure around, and who gets up in the middle of the night if im having trouble with DS or if his really sick!

thanks
silla

SimplyMum

20-11-2007, 12:49

I am a single parent who doesn't have any contact with the ex so I'm only commenting on this as per my current situation and opinion.

In the dictionary, a parent is a realitive term. There's lots of different meaning for 'parent'. One being to be or act as parent of: to parent children with both love and discipline.

Father is also a relative term, one being a man who exercises paternal care over other persons; paternal protector or provider: a father to the poor.

And a mother to perform the tasks or duties of a female parent; act maternally: a woman with a need to mother.

Both father and mother also come up with similar meanings in terms of stepmother/father, mother/father-in-law or adoptive mother/father.

So, judging by these meanings, than a step-parent is a mother/father.

I think it should be left up to the child to decide 'what' or 'who' is a father and/or mother, within reason of course. I don't think it's appropiate if they call their teacher mum/dad.

In saying that, than if I was to become a stepmum and the bio-mum had a prob with the sk calling me mum than I wouldn't encourage it. I would say perhaps we could think of a cool nickname that is similar to mum, maybe mum in a different language or swapping a letter around, say for example mim, or....meemo (very creative meemo).

This is very interesting though to hear the different points of view. I would imagine this would be a very controversial topic.

punkbaby

20-11-2007, 12:50

Dhs son is 14 he at first called my bella my nick name but now he calls me mummy bella his stirring but its kinda cool :) not cool for a 14yo to say in public though LOL

Meemo

20-11-2007, 22:20

Thanks Baileymoo (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/member.php?u=6880)!!!!
We thought so... IT's so funny though coz the kids friends will ocassionally think its my name and call me it too!! But anyway, it works for us, and I'm kind of honoured to be called it, makes me feel like i have more 'meaning' in their lives than them using my first name.. Selfish I know, but I like it!!

Caz1971

05-02-2008, 09:24

When Aimee was little she said her mother called me a *****! Im sure Aimee who is now 14 calls me this!

jen023

05-02-2008, 13:48

When talking about me my DSS refers to me as "my jenny" like when he refers to "my mum" or "my dad"
Otherwise when talking to me it's just Jenny.
I also agree that he should not call me mum.
I'm not his mum he has a mum (No matter what we think of her!)

YMo7

06-02-2008, 09:18

my dsk call me suze (my shortened name)... they call me mum when we are out and refer to me as their mum.... sometimes they call me mum at home.
my dss asked me to be his new mum once and asked if he could call me such, and we all agreed that it would be fine for him to have 2 mums, but as soon as his bio mum found out she put a stop to it and he got in HUGE trouble. (she is a *****)

kelpat

24-02-2008, 18:14

My step kids call me by my name but they will introduce me as their Mum, even the Dr got a bit confused once when asking questions about family history one time DSS was sick cause he thought I was Biomum cause I'm the one that always takes them to the Dr.

My son calls his stepfather Dad he hasn't seen his biodad since he was 1.

Parenting is alot more then giving birth. It takes an awful lot of hard work, worry and love to be a Mum/Dad.