View Full Version : 1 year anniversary
Well Sunday marks the day that my little boy would have been one. I am really struggling this week with things, and i thank god every day that i have my beautiful son to light up my world, but the pain is still very present.
I was thinking of taking little cakes to the memorial gardens and lighting a candle for him.
Does anyone else mark anniversaries or birthdays? DOes it get easier after the first one?:crying:
I haven't lost a child but have lost some very significant people in my life. I really recommend doing things that give you a chance to remember him on significant dates. Making him a little cake and lighting a candle sounds like a wonderful way to mark this special day.
I really don't think it gets easier, you just get better at coping with it.
Sending hugs to you Katie for Sunday. It's always tough the first year. I never marked anniversaries or expected birthdays with anything special, but it was always in my thoughts. I know a lot of parents do take the time for memorials and make a special day, in different ways, and I think that it can help alot. Your idea sounds beautiful. :)
For me, it did get easier after the first year or two. But then again I had my DD only 2.5 years after my first m/c and less than a year after my second, so I think that helped the healing for me.
First of all let me tell you how sorry I am for your loss... Noone can ever appreciate the loss of a child but those who have let one go... Many people will liken it to the loss of another but you know in your heart that it compares as a drop of water while your greif is an ocean. This doesn't lessen their grief but it is unlike your own... To be honest I don't know if it gets easier... I lost my daughter 3 months back and there are days I honestly wish I could die but life goes on... And more than that I know that Ishani made me happy just as I am certain Jake made you happy and I try to cling to the happiness she gave me... I think the best way to remember your child is to try to find the joy in life... Do what ever you feel is best to remember your son... We have released balloons for the past 3 months on the anniversary of her birth and we've just begun plans to make a memory garden in our yard for her... We've begun making plans for her 1st birthday later this year.
I've recently started seeing a counsellor and it has helped some... She told me that the grief of loosing a child is greater than any other and I believe it. She drew a circle and coloured it in black to represent my sadness and then drew another circle around it saying that eventually my life would represent that... A life around my loss... I think that we often feel like we shouldnt feel happy and that if we dont have moments of pain we've dishonoured our child, it isnt true. Jake would want for you to be happy and to remember him with joy... Try to make a bright and promising way of remembering him because as you know... He brought you light... And never forget that very few will ever hold an angel... How precious is that!
:bday: HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY JAKE:bday:
Thank you for your replies.
It was a hard day, but i luckily have a very supportive husband and an adorable little boy, whos smile always melts my heart.
I just hope that Thomas knew we were there for him,a nd is having fun playing with all the other angels in heaven
Thinking of you today Katie:) I am sure God is looking after your little one just perfectly. Let yourself feel whatever you need to today:)
Like to wish Thomas a happy 1st heavenly birthday,I hope my angel Zachary has gone to play with him.I think it's a lovely Idea. I also celebrate my angel Zachary birthday ever year, ( he was nearly 20 weeks gest. he was born with a NTD) I take flowers down, His birth flower is a carantion so i take his age down in carantions sprayed blue with baby breathe, his sister and brothers each take something for him like a car to play with, and we light his candle that we were given from his service on his birthday at the time he was born every year. I must say it does feel like it's getting easier, but your still very hurt at the same time.
Thinking of you and your little angel Thomas
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