View Full Version : i dont think i want to stop
im pregnant with my 4th an im only 21 my mum would kill me if i had more kids but my partner an i are thinking we would like more kids, well give it a break for a bit but im young i couldn't imagine stopping an having no more kids, is it better to hav a gap or close together. if we hav a gap itll be no more then 3 years
Hi Erin, its all a matter of choice. Everytime I told my parents I was pregnant they freaked LOL, but I don't know why they worried, they never babysit for me, I take full responsibility for my children and always have, so how many I have, is totally up to me.
I admit I have finished now, eight is enough, but now I'm helping women with their birthing process and its so wonderful :smiliedance:
I'm not saying its easy, but OH so worth it. I wouldn't change anything for the world. I love my children, and thank goodness, they love me back LOL
Good luck to you and your family :hugs:
Its up to you if you want more or not i always said i wouldnt have any till i was 30 and i only wanted 2 LOL now i am 31 and have 4 on the way (5 if you count step son) i would love to have more but i dont think i could do it again as this pregnancy has been a nightmare but in sayin that in 5 years time i am still young and could do it again :D
If you want more have more whos to judge you for wanting more :)
Jess, First of all congrats on baby number 4! I say if you want more children then have them. It's your decision not your parents.
They're your responsibility not there's.
I'm 24 and have four children and my husband an I are talking about trying for number 5. I know that my Mum will freak out! She doesnt understand why anyone would want to have children. But it is our decision.
I do sometimes wonder though when i will decide that enoughs enough.
I speak to women that say that they will definately NOT have any more kids and i just wonder if i will ever get to that stage:rolleyes: . KWIM?
I would love to have a large family. I love seeing large families, i just think that they are fantastic!
I think that the age gap between children is a personal choice.
My first two were 18 months apart and i loved that they were so close although it was a little harder when they were little. My other children were all 2.5 years apart and looking back i do wish that i had had them a little closer together, but i guess it wasnt meant to be.
Just follow your heart and do what you want to do. Having a large family is not a bad thing it's a blessing!:yes:
Congratulations on number 4. Its all up to you and your partner what gap you would like betwen your children
Personally I found having them closer together.
I had my first at 19, then 21 and 22.
I'm now 29 and due in December with our 4th baby.
Of course when I told my parents I was pregnant again my mother wasn't very happy but of course they come around and when it comes down to it, I'd hate for my children to go through having only 1 other sibling like I did all my life.
I've always dreamed of having a larger family and don't regret any of my children one bit in fact I'd love to have another after this baby.
All the best with everything :)
I say if you want more chidlren it is you and your partners choice and no one elses. You are the ones that have to take care of them and have the responsibility of there lives so really it has nothing to do with anyone else not even your parents how many children you choose to have.
i have to agree with everyone else and understand your position we already know when we would like to have our fourth - which would make it four under 5 and even though it is only about 7 months till we start trying again i am already kind of itching for the next one and we had always said 4 but i dont know if i will be able to stop after the next one i love them to bits and often think of how good it would be to have lots running round the house- my mum often tells me we should stop having kids too but in her case as she still lives back home in perth i know it is only coz she worrie about me and how i am coping - typical mum thing to do...good on you you will get what works for you in the long run
If you can afford a large family,and cope well,then go for it.
I have 4 wonderful kids,from 20 down to 4 and we have a new baby boy due in April.
Mine are all around 5 years apart,and that is what suits us,but do what is right for you.
I am almost 37,and people still carry on like i have 50 kids when i say we are expecting number 5.
I think this will be our last,as i am feeling "old" right about now,but you never know :0)
It probably is wise to have a break, concentrate on those you have and let you body have a break too, then decide if you feel like more a a couple of years.
I guess it depends how much your parents help out as to how much they are concerned about you having more!!!
I've seen people who dont cope that well keep having kids and their parents have to pick up the pieces (not saying that about you though!)
my 3yr old daughter has had 1 sleep over at nanas an thats because i was in hospital having my son. my boys havnt slept over ever an we see them about once a month apart from that there not in our lives
I don't understand why parents have a say. You are an adult and they are your children. I say do what feels right for you and your partner. You are the ones that have to raise them, not your Mum.
You have to do what is right for your immediate family. My mum freaks every time I tell her I'm pg and I was 26 the first time. Now she tries scare tactics like 'your uterus will fall out if you have any more children'. This comes from her medical knowledge from 30 odd years of secretarial training, I'm guessing!!
But maybe you should give yourself a bit of a break, or at least talk to your doctor. It was fine to have loads of kids young when women were seen as replaceable, but now we can seek medical advice as to what is in our best interest. If you then decide it's worth the risk, fine, but at least you will be going into it with your eyes open.
Good luck with whatever you decide!
'your uterus will fall out if you have any more children'. This comes from her medical knowledge from 30 odd years of secretarial training, I'm guessing!!
LMAO! :laughing: <(That looks a little like Pacman..)
I think it is entirely up to you.
My mum & dad dont want me to have any more kids... Pfft.. They dont look after them either.
I dont know what is the problem.. Is it the christmas and birthday presents?? :confused:
That said, I WILL be having more. But not for a while.
It is your choice, by that I mean your own family unit.
Wow, you sound just like me! And our children are pretty similar ages too by the looks of it LOL. My parents, and other relatives are a bit the same as well.....constantly saying that 'enough is enough'. But i say stuff em. It's no one's business but your own how many babies you have, and how close together you have them! AS long as you're looking after them, and you're coping well in yourself, then there's nothing else to worry about!
Oh I dont mean to put you off wanting to have more ( I doubt it will anyway), and I dont want it to look like I am judging or anything like that, but you being so young, are you really looking at the bigger picture, the cost of sending all the kids to school in the future and all, and unexpected medical and dental that might pop up, its really not that bad when the kids are young, maybe its not that bad when they are older to, but for me, last year sending them to school was a bit of a struggle, saving for it wanst as easy as I thought, but with help from mum we just got there. Well, for 2008, with the eldest in year 11, I almost had a heart attack looking at his school fees and booklist (booklist alone was close to $500!!!) then I also have the next son off to highschool too, and compulsory uniforms now, its almost 4x the amount than last year.
A few years ago, my answer would have been, have as many as you feel you can handle, but now, I can see its not that simple anymore, the closer you have them together, honestly, as they get older, it can get hard when you have all these lump sum costs all at once. (but if you partner is on an extremely good wage, go for it of course, but even then, you never know that in the future he may not be)
then theres the other side of things... if you dont have your own house, and you a renting, it can go against you also
After we had three, my parents tried telling me not to have more and I was like, pfft, yeah, whatever, what do you know (they had 4 of us kids) they tried telling me about school costs and that, and I was like, yeah, whatever, I can see it now why they were against me having so many. So we went on and tried for one more, got twins, then finally one more (not planned in the slightest, but worth it in the end cause we got our girl LOL)
But having said all that, theres no way I would trade any of the kids now, and would probably do it all again in a heartbeat, and the choice is between you and your partner.
to me money isnt every thing i will home school if its going to cost to much to school. my partner is on pritty good wages an with his training it will double to about 150,000 a year but thats with him training raly hard an traveling a bit for his courses. im sending my eldest 2 to kindy an thats gonna cost a bit. so i sort of see you people dont have lots of kids . but then again i dont cos those people buy new toys an clothes an stuff all the time. i dont i dont like waisting money on stuff they hardly use. well see how we go after this one im sort of gettin sick of being pregnant. maybe ill be a midwife or go into child care then i can see babies an kids all the time haha.
I dont know what is the problem.. Is it the christmas and birthday presents??
I really beleive this is true. My MIL once said to me (when we told her baby #5 was on his way) "how will I ever afford another one"?
I was like.... :eek: are you serious?????? :banghead: I can't beleive how many comments other people have about people that choose to have a large number of children. It drives me nuts. My GP even said to me the other day (when I was having my implanon removed) "since I am taking out the implanon and you already have 5 children, I will write you a referral to see a specialist to have your tubes tied" I calmly left the room and shook my head.
My hubby and I will be trying for #6 in about April this year!! :yelclap:
Do whatever you heart tells you to do, and do not worry about what anyone will say about your decisions.
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