View Full Version : 6 year age gap?
I just realised that if we TTC in 3 years (which is what we've agreed to do at this point), DD will be 5, so she'll be about 6 (if things go to plan) when I have another baby.
I seriously hadn't thought about this before...for some dumb reason, my brain didn't realise there'd be such a big age gap.
Does anyone have a gap like this? What's it like? Do they play together/act like siblings, or do they just kinda do their own thing?
My sister and I are 8 years apart and up until about a year ago we fought like crazy and my Mum swore that she wishes she hadn't had such a big gap between us.
I don't like the gap either because while she is fun to hang out with sometimes she is still too young and immature and I am too old and boring for her.
So in two words, it stinks!
* i know it's not what you wanted to hear but it's the truth and i know you would appreciate that more *
There are 6and a half years between my bro and me (we are both adopted so it took that long for dad and mum to adopt another bub)
We are ok now but by the time he was a decent kid i had moved out of home i was 18. So we fought and fought before that and man was i annoying having to take him everywhere and get introuble for not being the right example:banghead:
Sorry if you didnt want to hear that thats what the age gap was like for me
My DS1 turned 4 just before DS2 was born so we have not quite as big a gap but still a reasonable one.
I find it is great. My boys play together really well, DS1 gets a bit rough sometimes but he's 5 so it's to be expected. He loves the Big Brother thing and loves to help me with ds2.
They do do their own thing aswell, DS1 gets a bit sick of DS2 sometimes and locks himself in his room to play :laughing:
My big brother is six years older than me and I have adored him for my whole life.
We even started our families at the same time, his son was born three months before DS. (and you thought I was a late bloomer! its in my genes!).
It is a big gap and if you want to do other things with your career etc then there is something to be said for having them closer together.
I would love a 5 year gap between my children. DP won't wait that long though.
My DH and his 3 siblings are all far apart in age. They aren't close at all.
But i have known others with big age gaps that get on fine, it think alot of it is to do with how you raise them.
I have a 7 yr old and a just turned one year old :yes:
It's great, Miss 7 adores her baby sister and plays with her all the time. Not the sort of games she plays with her peers obviously but she pushes her on the swing, pushes her around on the ride on toys, reads to her daily, chooses her clothes each day, baths with her, teaches he words/animal sounds etc. She also gets great joy out of seeing Miss One reach milestones and learn and develop. It's great. I have a ten yr old also and he is just the same, just adores his baby sister.
Having a baby in the house has also taught them lots about patience etc.
Go for it, I think it's a great age gap and nobody misses out on Mummy time either :)
I have 2 girls and I am preg with my third child.
Between DD1 and DD2 there is 4.5 year age gap and between DD2 and bub there will be 6 years.
My 2 girls get along just fine, I mean they have there days:banghead: but don't all kids :thumbsup: .
most of the time they play together but then there are times they do there own thing and you know most of the time its DD2 thats wants DD1 to back off for a while, so don't worry about the gap it is how you choose to have them communicate/behave towards each other if thats makes sense :rolleyes: .
My girls are besty sisters they are like best friends Valentine.
Oh and the age gaps I have between my children weren't by choice, had trouble conceiving, but glad it turned out this way cause each child got plenty of time and attention.
Goodluck with your decision.:)
DD1 is 10 years and 4 months
DD2 is 5 years and 11 months
Bub due 17th November 2007
SassyMummy,I have exactly this age gap and it has worked well for me. Dh would have liked have one after the other but that was too much for me and at the time I wouldn't have coped. DD # 1 had to wait a long time for a sibling and when dd #2 came along, she had started school and was on a different timetable to her sister. So, I actually found that she was eager to help out.There were some adjustment problems in the beginning because dd#1 had us all to herself for this long, but now that dd#2 is almost 2, no problems.At the moment, they seem to play in bursts and as the little one learns more, the time they spend together is increasing. They play chasey a lot around the house and their own version of hide and seek, lots of thing really. DD#2 adores her big sister but is getting to know that sometimes big sis has her own things to do, such as homework.They have their moments of tension too but nothing that can't be solved. Oh, and I have the same age gap between my sister and I. Goodluck with your decision.
ooooooooh we'll be TTC together ;D (well not... TOGETHER... :p)
I didn't have a large age gap, on the contray my mum had 3 kids in 3 years and, quite frankly, we fought like nothing else as well and my mum wished she'd had a larger age gap... I don't think it's to do with age gap but rather family dynamics. I asked about a 4+ year gap (we'll have a 5 year if things go to plan) and lots of people sang praises about not having two babies, and having a child that could dress themselves etc. :)
In my experience, having so many children, I would say it is the perfect age gap. NOw i'm not saying having them close isn't great, because it is. But observing the older ones with the babies is just fantastic, they look out for them, really care for them, its incredible.
Having them really close, well its really difficult to give them as much attention as they deserve. I would highly recommend a big age gap, but saying that, having them close has its own rewards too :hugs:
I don't think gaps are hugely important either way. Your kids may not get along even if they are 18 months apart. Six years sounds good to me! There are many benefits; only one in nappies, the older one is a bit more self-sufficient etc.
I'm going to have a 21-month age gap, which I think will be a struggle at times, but it's something I really wanted. I'm from a family where the gaps are less than two years, and I still get along really well with my siblings.
Hi, me and my sis have 6.5 years between us as we have different dads. We are amazingly close now but when we were younger we didn't play together at all and even though we have a strong bond now I wish that we were closer in age.
hi i am one of 5 kids the gaps ae as follows: brother 32 me 27 brother 23 sister 15 sister 12 as kids we got on great asadults we still close. i loved having baby sisters as a teen ager. my children r as follows dd 10 ds 4 #3 due in 7 months. my kids get on great theyplay together a lot my dd was really helpful when ds was a baby. i think it depends a lot on the personality of the older child if they r patient and eager to include the younger child it works out fine
There is 8 between dd1 and dd 3 and it is a lovely gap! She is old enough to pick her up and hold her, feed her without my help do all the motherly things that 8 y/o little girls like to help with :yes:
there are 6 years between my first 2 and i love the gap.
i felt like my first got plenty of attention and time when she was small, and she is still close and plays with her sisters.
they have sibling issues at times, but so do the next 2 who are close in age ( 2yrs apart)
My sister and I are 8 years apart. Growing up it was like I was an only child as my sister had left home when I was about 8 or 9. whenever she came home to visit we would love each other for the first day or so, and then try to kill each other for the rest of the visit. now that we are adults we get on really well, it makes me sad sometimes that we could have had that closeness growing up and we missed out on it.
I swore I wouldn't do that with my kids... :rolleyes:
DD1 loves the little kids and plays with them. She will remember these times, but they won't really. I am hoping that our situation will be different and that she will stay closer to home when she is older.
You have to go with what ever age gap is right for you. There is always the chance, like with one of my best friends that they will always be at different stages, and may not be too close during childhood, but remember the age gap is less once both are into adulthood.
DD was nearly 5 and it was awesome (Compared to when ds was 2 when dd come along) she was really helpful, loved helping and she was also at that stage where she wouldnt run off on me she could walk along side with no hand holding etc i found it sooo much easier! Also come dinner time she was good too as she could keep bubs amused thats what i liked, i knew that she wouldnt hurt bubs as she was old enough to know right from wrong :)
Yes with my DSS he is 9 and Mikayla is almost 1 so there is a 8yr gap there
my brother and i are 5 1/2 years apart, and we never actually played with each other, and we did get along when i was little, but when my brother hit high school i was the annoying little sister and he always seemed so much older than me.. even now we arn't that close, but we gt along really well though.
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