View Full Version : Scared!!!!
firsttimemum
13-04-2005, 12:31
Hi everyone
My bub is due on the 28th April and the closer I am getting the more nervous I am getting. :( I am extremly excited as well!! But am scared about the following......
I really hate needles I hate pain more though and what I want to know is that I am still undecided about having an epidural or not???? :confused: What I want to know is does it hurt when they insert the needle into your back?????
Also if you tear down below does that hurt as well when they are stitching you up. I had stitches once in my leg and I had to have 5 nurses hold me down while they tried to stich me up!
Thanks!!
pinkandblue
13-04-2005, 13:16
Hi
Sorry I cant help you with the epidural question as I didnt have one.
I didnt tear either, but I did get a graze. It did burn a little when I had to go to the toilet but the nurses gave me some Ural and that helped.
Natalie
StormAngel
13-04-2005, 13:24
Hi
I'm not much help with the epidural, but i'm guessing if your in enough pain you won't care if the needle hurts or not!
I had an epesiotomy with 3 of my kids and they put a local in but i dont know if they do with a tear
I would ask a midwife about this one, she might put your mind at ease a bit!
Most of all don't be to nervous cause in the end it's all worth it!!
Good luck!!
Hi
I am also really scared of needles but have had two epidurals and survived! My advice is don't make a decision until you are in labour - you may be fine not having one, or you may get to the point where your fear of needles is well and truly the last thing on your mind. Before they put the epidural in they give you a much smaller needle with a local in it, and that only stings a little, and means that you don't feel the epidural. The hardest thing I found was staying still while they were putting it in, as I was having contractions (in fact while I was having the epidural for my second labour my daughter was trying to deliver herself - he finished putting the line in and she was born within about 40 seconds of me being allowed to move - which sort of negated the need for the epidural really!) I can certainly understand your apprehension, but I say just go in there with an open mind and see how you go and what you need to get through.
As for stitches - having had an epidural I didn't feel the stitches being put in either time, and the stinging from the stitches and a graze I had only lasted a couple of days and was not bad at all. I have a good friend who didn't have an epidural and needed stitches - she wasn't even aware that had had stitches until the next day, so obviously didn't feel them going in - and the doctor who stitched her is also a good friend of mine and she said that many women don't feel the stitches at all, even ones who need quite a few.
Good luck!
Hi First time mum (Me too)
I think it's totally normal to be both anxious and excited at this time :)
I like Draughts advice " Dont make any decisions untill your in labour".
Not that I've had a baby yet, but women tell me that labour pains are unlike other types of pain...i.e its not "broken your leg constant" it comes in waves and you get breaks in between that help you through. Your body also releases endorphins that help you ride the contraction pains, and thankfully endorphin release increases as your contractions strengthen.
You can also do lots of natural things to help decrease the pain of contractions while in active labour like:
*moving around freely, rocking your pelvis during contractions or just finding the most comfortable position to be in while the pain is there (avoiding lying on your back).
* having a warm bath, shower or applying hot towels to the painful part (back, front or both) during contractions.
*getting someone to massage you where ever you need them to during and or in between contractions.
* relaxation techniques like visualisation/ yoga breathing/ etc.
* releasing the pain verbally/ moaning during contractions.
*aromatherapy/ homeopathy.
*sourounding yourself with a great support team.
*flow with the contractions rather than resisting them (because aparently that makes the pain worse).
*If you and your baby are well and have had a normal pregnancy stay at home for as long as you can bear it before going into hospital (the best way to avoid unnecessary interventions and needles).
Re the stitches. Try and do little pushes or "breath" your baby out slowley so as to avoid tearing as much as you can. If you do have a first or second degree tear and you dont have an epidural you DONT have to have stitches. Stitchers only pull the wound edges together (they dont heal you, your body does that). Just closing your legs brings the wound edges together in almost all cases and in my experience women heal beautifully :)
If you choose to be stiched up and you dont have residual anaesethia (?sp) it does hurt. You get local first of cause (thats the bit that hurts) but you should be numb after that and not feel the stitches go in.
I look forward to reading your birth story :D
Kerrie :)
Kirsty Stewart
13-04-2005, 15:12
Hi there,
Well i can't help with the epi as i didn't have one but i did have an episitomy as for me i felt the needle go in and the cut :eek: ( even though it was in the peak of a contraction) but I didn't really feel getting stitched up, by that time i was already holding my newborn and nothing in the world would have bothered me.
Don't worry to much you will be suprised what your body is capable of doing and the mind.
Good Luck and enjoy your experience
Take care :)
Hi, Can't answer about needles but I hate them too.
I was snipped with my first baby and didn't feel the stitches because of the local. Second baby I was snipped and tore (please note that I had bad luck with both my births as my babies both had to be rushed out) and did feel some of the stitches BUT I worked with the doctor who did the repairs and she kept giving me more locals upon request until the job was done.
vickster
13-04-2005, 17:07
Hi First Time Mum,
I HATE needles too. I didn't have an epidural with my 1st baby, so I can' help there, but I can tell you that getting stitched didn't hurt. I had 3rd grade tears with my dd, but they were 2" long vertical tears between the inner and outer labia (She just shot out before I could stretch :eek: ) and I needed a lot of stitching (I didn't feel the tearing either)But they gave me a local anaesthetic and kept topping it up. All I felt was a little bit of pulling.
I hope I haven't made you anxious :o and despite everything had a great labour and birth. Good luck and enjoy it!
I don't really like needles either and all the blood tests my OB sent me on drove me nuts.
However, I did decide during labour to have epis for both births and I think they are pretty amazing. Firstly, you don't have a metal needle in your back the whole time, only a soft plastic tube is left once it's in. They can be different for different people, but I could feel the pressure of a contraction and was able to push my babies out, but there was no pain. For the first, they turned down the epi for the actual birth, on the second they didn't. I could even move my legs (but wouldn't have trusted any weight on them). As my 2nd baby was crowning I could also feel the incredible pressure of her head just sitting there (we were waiting for the OB!) - but still not painful, just very uncomfortable. ALso, my husband was much more comfortable once I had an epi (bless him!).
I also had episiotomies with both births (the second mainly required due to the scarring of the first one). I didn't feel it with either delivery (even for the first, where they'd turned off the epi - but before the episiotomy I could feel stinging where my OB was worried that I would tear). Interestingly, I could feel him stiching me up the first time (even though by that stage they'd turned up the epi again - go figure?). But they showed me how to use the gas - and I didn't really care too much once I got the buzz going :) . The only real downside of the epi was that you've got a catheter in for 24 hours, so you have to take your little bag of wee everywhere :( )
Hope this give you the information that you need to make a choice thats good for you and baby (and partner).
Cheers
Mischief
14-04-2005, 09:08
Good luck with your birth! Wow, not many days till your due date now! :)
I think you have gotten some really good advice, I'm not even pregnant yet, but very scared of labour. Im phobic of needles, but over the last couple of months with blood tests and imunizations I'm over coming my fear. The advice to wait until labour to decide on an epidural is great! I've almost decided I dont want one under any circumstances, just because it freaks me out the thought of having a needle in my back, so close to my spine. But I know heaps of women who have had them and think they are great!
I hope everything goes really well for you, and cant wait to hear your birth story! :)
I should add that I went into my first labour determined to only have an epidural as a last resort - also being afraid of needles, close to the spine etc.....but after 24 hours in labour, with showers, baths, massage, gas, moving around, and lots of breathing, when my OB suggested an epidural as he was about to put me on a syntocin drip to get things moving more quickly, I was happy to agree. They let it wear off twice so I well and truly knew what it felt like with and without the epi, and when I gave birth they topped it up again as they had to use the vacuum and then forceps and give me an episiotomy - and by that stage (at 36 hours) I didn't care at all. I still felt the pressure of her birth and had some sensation - and really all I cared about was that she was here and safe.
The second time round I went in with the same approach of waiting to see what I needed, but a little less scared of the epi option - but I was induced and the intensity of labour meant that I was asking for an epi straight away (with visions of many hours of labour again) and the thought of needles etc was the furthest thing from my mind. This little girl was in a major hurry though and as I said earlier - I didn't really need the epi as she was born literally as soon as the line was in - a total of 2 hours in labour - and with no time to breath to reduce tearing etc. I used the gas much more effectively in the second labour and if I was doing it again (which my husband assures me is not going to happen) I would probably wait longer before asking for an epi as it made no difference except that it meant that I had to wait in recovery for four hours for it to wear off! It actually didn't even take effect until seconds after she was born.
So - gather as much information about the different pain management options (the ideas that kerrie lists are all very useful), and then see how you go on the day.
firsttimemum
14-04-2005, 10:14
Thank you everyone for your advice!!! I feel much more relaxed now and I am going to go into labour with an open mind! No decisions until I am in there!
Will let you all know how I go!! 14 days to the day today to go! :)
blacktulips
14-04-2005, 10:19
I have 4 kids 2 epi , 2 not
I tore with 2 and they cut with the other 2. As it is easyier to reapir a cut to a tear
the epi's they give you a local injection in your back prior to them insterting the epi to num the area. The onlly thing I ofund uncomfortabled was having to curl up in a ball for them to insert it it didn't hurt.
when they see that you are likly to tear they give you a needle so that they can sticth you up . or they may give yu a small cut to save you tearing,
I didn't even feel this as I was to busy giving birth. by they time they start stiching the area is numb and you don't feel it. but you are aware they are stiching you up.
If you have to have stiches my advice would be to kept the area as dry as possible. When you have shower/bath pat the area dry don't rub as this will hurt.
Also take your knickers of and let the fresh air get in it helps with the stiched area healing quicly. also I have use a ray lamp or if your lucky and have access to the sunlight for about 10 min a day but no longer as you could burn yourself this also helped a great deal.
with in about 10 days all the stiches had gone and everything was fine.
I have had 1st and 3rd degree tears they were harder to stich than the cuts but didn't feel it
It is normal to feel the way you do. Ask the midwives anything you are scared about and they will explain it. And put your mind and rest and give you the choice of how you would like things to happen.
Cheers
Colleen
Hi!
I'm a first time mum too! I'm due on the 20th April and I'm scared too! :eek:
Not so much about the things you are but more about not knowing what to expect, how painful it is and losing control of my bodily functions. Also I'm quite shy (absolutely dred pap smears) so I'm a little worried about people checking me out down there, hopefully the pain will take my mind off that! :D
My plan is wait and see what it feels like and then just go from there, you don't get any medals for going drug free, so I say if you feel you need it then have it!
Good luck with your birth we'll have to share stories afterwards.
alicesmum
14-04-2005, 13:53
hi narelle and others!
no, it's true you don't get a medal, but you do get *lots* of wonderful free hormones from your body when you go drug-free!! :D like someone in the natural birth thread said, her eyes were like saucers afterwards and so were mine in the photos. And I had a smile from ear-to-ear, tho I'm sure all mums do!
talking to a few ladies recently who were saying they still had pain around their epidural site *years* later, so though I had said I would keep my options open for the next birth (i understood afterwards why some girls do choose epi's!!) I am now thinking I will srceam and bear it if I can!! :) but who knows...some situations call for drugs and/or intervention, and you can never be 100% your situation won't be one of those. Please keep us posted re how it all goes!!! Take care...:p
Nickster
14-04-2005, 14:23
I too was really stressed about the idea of pain when expecting my baby (now 4 months old).
I had an epidural, and like the other mums have said, you get a local shot first, and the hardest part of the whole thing is staying still through contractions for the anaesthetist to put the line in. It took about 5 goes to get mine in, but all I felt was a detached sensation in my spine (if this makes sense!). I believe you also have a choice as to whether you want the epi turned down for the delivery. My midwife said I could leave it turned up, that way I would continue to have no pain, and would not feel any stitching etc if it was necessary. However, I had an emergency c/section in the end, so can't give you any advice there!!
I didn't plan to have the epidural, but couldn't handle the pain of the contractions when they induced me (apparently they're stronger when your're hooked up to the syntocin drip), although I'm glad I sort of experienced them. All I can tell you is that once that epidural was in, there was NO PAIN whatsoever, and I'd do it again in a flash.
I read all the books on natural childbirth, etc, and planned it that way, but am grateful for modern medicine.
Good luck with your delivery, how wonderful to finally hold that little person in your arms.
Narelle you can say No to vaginal examinations if you dont want them.
Once again the best way to avoid them is to stay at home for as long as you can before going into hosp ;)
When you do get to hospy there are other ways to check progress, like palpating your lower abdo to feel how much of your babies head they can still feel above the pelvis....then they can repeat the abdo palp a few hrs later to check that bubas head is decending
I'll look forward to reading your birth story along with Fist Time Mums :D
Kerrie
firsttimemum
14-04-2005, 16:59
Hi Narelle
I am the same (shyness) when I was reading your thread I was like oh yes I know how you feel that is so me as well!! But have to also been told that you just lose all shyness in labour!! I have even brought a little tog top for me when I am in the shower!!! LOL!!!!
Best of luck you are due 8 days before me let us all know how you go!!! Fingers cossed for you!!! :D
alicesmum
15-04-2005, 15:01
hi girls
getting close now! v exciting!!!
I too brought a togs top and a nightie in my hospital bag to maintain some degree of modesty during labour, and they didn't even get a second thought once the action started happening!!! I don't even think they made it out of the bag!
please keep us updated! :p
Hi Girls!
Thanks for the advice! I'm getting so excited now! :D
I was talking to a friend today that just had her second baby and she
asked for an epidural as the midwife told her she was only at the beginning
of labour and was in for a long haul. So the midwife went to organise it and by
the time she got back my friend was ready to push 45mins later she gave birth
to a beautiful baby girl Hannah Paige.
I'll let you all know how it goes! (hopefully quickly and painless :p yeah right)
GOOD LUCK! to you to first time mum :)
alicesmum
15-04-2005, 23:06
Hi Narelle
Yes, I hope you have an amazing experience. Childbirth hwoever, is never painless, no matter which way you do it. Never ever ever ever and don't believe anyone who says it is. The best things in life never came easy though.
Just keep remembering that us chicks are a lot tougher and stronger than we think we are! Can't wait to hear your story.
Best wishes......... :p
Jimmyjones
16-04-2005, 12:16
Hi everyone,
Just read everyones stories and gee we are all good!!!! I had a natural labour with no drugs and waters breaking in a shopping centre but............Abi came really quickly and I did end up with a 3 degree tear and lots of stitches!!!!! I felt pressure but no pain and if I felt anything I was topped up and I was sucking really hard on the gas as I wasn't relaxing at all.
I am now 7wks on and I feel great and have healed really well, my only advice is to go and buy yourself a sauce bottle and use it when you go to the toilet!!! That's the best advice I recieved also if you end up having contractions just ride them out, my mums advice.
Good luck chicks birth is a experience that I am glad I had.
KT
Hi There
My first was born without and Epidural so i also cant help you there but i was stitched and also suffered a large bleed and had to be fiddled with quite a bit after the stitching.
The actual stitches i felt a bit but you are so numb down there and also usually holding your newborn so its not really a problem. You have to realise that when you break a leg or have a large cut needing stitches or have a blood test etc etc .. there is no rewards. When you are in labour there is a huge reward ! and that will be all that is on your mind. Dont worry about the Epi until you are in there. I was so paranoid about having an Epi but when i had been in labour for a few hours i was begging for it ! Turns out i was 8 cm dilated and it was too late but now 1 year on i am pregnant again so obviously i have forgotten all that :)
My other piece of advise is dont read books, they just tell you all the "standard" things, each persons birth experience is individual. Enjoy it, it is a wonderful miracle, feel in control and in charge of your own body and dont do anything you dont want to do.
Good luck with everything :)
Hi! Thanks for the advice!
My husband has said I read too much which is unusual for me because I don't normally like reading that much, but I guess you just want to try and understand what's happening to you and what stage you're at etc. :p
I was telling my sister how one of my fears is pooing and then she reminded me that my nephew was almost born in the toilet which wouldn't have been the nicest welcome to the world! :eek: Luckily the midwives rushed in and managed to move her forward and catch him. :D
I know whatever my experience it'll be worth it!
firsttimemum
18-04-2005, 10:57
Narelle
Everytime I read a thread of yours you make me laugh :D Cause we seem to have the same fears!!! I hope your birth goes well. Best of luck and keep us updated! Two days to go!!! :p
alicesmum
18-04-2005, 19:28
Hi Narelle
Like you, I read absolutely EVERYTHING i could get my hands on. Every book, website, birth story. I know birth exp's are all individual but I reckoned that knowledge is power and so armed myself with information. I think it made me less stressed during labour because I knew (to some extent) what was normal and what wasn't.
Can't wait to read your story!
Remember to, as Madonna said, express yourself (as loud as you want.......as a labouring woman, it's your right!!!) :p
Hi!
The funny thing is my birth story will probably be nothing like anything I've been saying. For example I have thought there is no way I'm doing that when watching the video on labour at antenatal class where the woman looks like she has an invisable hula hoop going round and round or when I've read stories that some women moo like cows or sing during labour, so it will be interesting to see what I actually do especially if I have drugs in the system.
Guess you will just have to wait and see! :D
Hopefully not too long!
alicesmum
19-04-2005, 23:11
hi narelle
that's true. u never konw what you'll be like. but the yoga pregnancy teachers say sound it wonderful as a natural pain mgt technique as it reverberates through your body, so use it if u feel comfortable. i thought it was the best thing - without it i would have definitely screamed for some drugs.
you said ..."it will be interesting to see what I actually do especially if I have drugs in the system" - well, if it's an epi, you prob won't be doing much as you'll be unable to move much (i.e. prob confined 2 bed so i've heard). not sure about pethadine, but i think it makes some women drousy, so again, you may not be doing so much. don't automatically assume you'll need it. just wait and see. if you do, ask. we're lucky it's an option. if not, then the upside is you'll be more active and in control. whatever - you're story will be unique! can't wait to read it (tho don't be in a hurry. we can wait a few weeks til u recover if need be!! hehe :p
tomorrow's your due date then hey???? most women go about 5 days over for first births, so may be another day or 2 yet. all the very best...rachel ;)
Hi Rachel!
Thanks for the tips! I've read some women hallucinate with pethadine and even the gas can make you a little happy. I'm a bit wary of pethadine as I've never had any strong drugs and would be afraid of having a funny reaction, my hubby's had a few operations and I've seen what he was like so I'd like to go drug free if I can handle it.
Thanks for the well wishes! :D
hey! i had the same fears as i usually pass out when i get a blood test, but to b totally honest while i was in labour with my 1sti asked for the epi and i didnt feel a thing when they did it, as my contractions were so strong. With my latest addition (now nearly 3 weeks :) ) it took the doctor like 4 attempts to get it in and then it only numbed my arms :-S I would really think about getting it done again as i was in sooooo much pain after i gave birth and had a black bruise on my back, sorry to b only bad news but thought i would share , just to let u know . good luck and let us know when the bubby comes
alicesmum
20-04-2005, 11:23
yes, if I have another baby, I will try and do it drug-free again as I have heard enough stories about epi's to give me the heebee-geebees (sp?).
however, there was definitely a point in my labour where i really wanted to ask for one. unfortunately, by that point, i could hardly speak the contractions were coming so think and fast, and before I knew it, I was pushing and then there's no turning back!! usually by the time you want pain relief it's too late anyway (which sux at the time, but I think is a blessing in disguise!!!) :p
btw Narelle, do you know if it's a boy or girl??
Hi Rachel!
We don't know if it's a boy or girl which makes it even more exciting and I really want to meet my baby now and find out so I was just reading the thread about bringing on labour and might try a few of the ideas.
Hopefully I will be a mum by the end of the week! :D
Hi Narelle, just wanted to say im so excited for you, not long to go now! :)
Hi Erin!
Thanks! I'm excited too! :D If we have a boy we'll have a Cooper James too, I hope you don't mind!
Talk to you again soon!
hey narelle
i aimed to have a natural drug free birth but as I learnt things dont always go to plan. I was in labour for two days before going to the hospital. i went in at 4am and was 5cm dilated and the midwife said i'd have a baby by 11am, well that wasn't to be. Jack did not want to come out and was quite happy to sit in there and wait. by lunchtime i was exhausted, pethidine was hopeless, made me fall asleep between contractions (bout 2/3minutes) then I'd have to get myself vertical as the next contraction hit.
by 4pm my contractions had stopped and thankfully, after hours of begging the midwives for an epi, the dr's came and checked on me. they immediately said she needs and epi and needs to be induced. i felt absolutely no needles, not even the local before the epi, nor did i feel the canula/iv drip for the inducement.
so wait and see, as long as the bub arrives safely, thats all that matters i reckon. good luck and enjoy the most amazing gift in the world.
amy
Hi firsttimemum!
I'm still waiting and was just wondering how you're going?
alicesmum
25-04-2005, 10:25
Hi Narelle
Any action yet??? If not, you must be about 5 days over yeh? If you don't reply, I will assume there's been some action!!! I hope it's all going well...!!!
rachel :p
Hi Rachel!
I'm still here!!! and getting bored!!!
My sister's like what's the rush relax and enjoy the peace and quiet while you can, she has three kids :D
Chat again soon!
Hi! just to let you know...
The end is in sight! :D
I will be induced Monday morning if nothing has happened by then!
The doc told me yesterday that I'm 2cm dilated so hubby was sure something was
going to happen last night but nothing did! I'm used to that now!
He is getting so excited now, me too! :D
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