View Full Version : Why did you choose to or not to circumcise?
Just out of curiosity I'm interested in everyones decisions as to why they chose to or not to circumcise their child, please note however I don't want this to turn into some sort of argument and wish to encourage everyone to express their own choices without fear of attack from others.
To start the process;
My wife and I chose to circumcise our little boy because we felt it would be beneficial later in life and a small part of the decision was also that I as his father was circumcised and I felt it would be a good idea to have him not wonder why he was different to his father (this was about 1% of the decision). It is also part of our religious beliefs, however we made the decision based solely on our feelings not that of our religious beliefs.
I'd be interested to hear other peoples decisions whether it be choosing not to circumcise or choosing to circumcise.
This is not a thread to cause trouble or attack others, please keep it friendly and an area to share experiences.
aardvark
21-02-2006, 18:47
We chose not to. DH is not happy that his mother had it done to him when he was a baby.
And if it's not broken, don't fix it.
cobysmummy
21-02-2006, 18:48
oohhh ur game starting a circ thread! these are always interesting and ended being closed hehe
we decided to have coby circed because
a) his dad was done so he wouldnt wonder why he was different
b) i knew a boy who had to be done at 15 and he wasnt very happy and blamed his parents coz he wasnt done at birth
c) we thought it was best for him and the future (less infections etc)
d) more hygenic and plus the fact me and his father both dont know how to clean an uncirced boy coz dp is circed..
they are my reasons and it doesnt bother me that so many ppl are against it its our decision for our boy
Barry! You are really naughty! You stirrer
My DS is not circumsised as I couldnt have put him through the pain. All my nephews are though.
DH isnt and has never had a problem. Also understood that most boys are not these days so I happily went with the majority vote.
I must say my opinion is each to there own but personally I just couldnt have done it to him. :(
rynosmum
21-02-2006, 18:58
We firmly intended on circumcision as we knew no better, had done no research and assumed it to be the norm.
After DS was born, we spoke to the OB and Paed and then did further research, both real-life with friends (Out of 9 boys born in the past 3 years, only one was done) and medical research.
Considering I was in tears when bub had to go for the heelprick blood test a couple of days after birth, I also couldn't bear to put him through a painful procedure for no defined gain.
Hubby is done but so what ? The majority of DS's mates won't be and he's perfect - just the way God intended. :)
We would never consider circumcision for our DS. For us, I have not found any benefit at all to routinely circumcising infants. So I didn't see any reason for exposing my baby to pain or discomfort and removing a part of his body. I also think that if he wants to be circumcised that's a decision for him to make.:)
Mamaduke
21-02-2006, 19:10
Before we had children we were adamant (or so we thought), that we'd get our sons circumcised. I too used the 'to look like your father' statement as a reason.
After Jesse was born (weighing 4lb 1oz) we just couldn't put him through it.
There was this amazing, remarkable little (and I mean little) man who had been through enough just to be in my arms...to put him through more trauma was totally abhorrent to me.
I personally thought that he was (and still is) perfect in every way, and I simply could not live with myself had we gone through with it.
Even if he was born at a good weight and full term, I am sure I wouldn't have been able to go through with it.
After Lucas was born the topic wasn't even discussed.
I figure if the boys do get a legitimate medical problem later then of course, under a specialist's advice, we would consent to it.
Barry! You are really naughty! You stirrer
I'm not trying to stirr anything, I have a genuine interest in peoples decisions.
I guess you could consider it a mini-survey :)
We never even considered circumcising our son. No one ever told me a good enough reason.
My mum tried to tell us to have it done and when I asked her why, she said 'because thats what you do'. Thats not good enough for me.
jembelina
21-02-2006, 19:17
We didn't and to perfectly honest it's not something I even gave a moments thought to. For me, I can't think of a single reason why you would! I actually didn't realise untill reading a few posts around here when I first joined that so many people still do it. I was really surprised. So, for us it wasn't really a decision not to - we jsut didn't, if that makes sense!! All spoken in this:) tone!!
We didn't and to perfectly honest it's not something I even gave a moments thought to. For me, I can't think of a single reason why you would!
I think that's the majority on both sides of the fence. The reverse is just something the people either didn't consider or didn't think much about, rather interesting really - maybe I should have asked where people were from suburb/state wise to see if there was any sort of correlation there, that would have been quite interesting.
I don't think geographical location really has anything to do with it. :confused: I'd be interested to know why you think it would?
The fact that there are doctors in Brisbane who WOULD perform the deed makes no difference to my personal opinion. Just because the service is there, doesn't mean I would necessarily use it. IYKWIM.
Mummabear
21-02-2006, 19:27
We fully intended to circ. We gave it about as much thought as whether to have Hungry Jacks or McDonalds for dinner :rolleyes: . Like many other parents out there we really didn't know any better. Then I spoke to my Dr about the procedure. I was mortified. No way in h#ll was anyone going to do that to my beautiful little boy. I came home and told DH that I didn't want to circ. He still did. I said that if he could give me a legit reason then I would consent. He used the 'so he can be the same as me' argument, then I asked him if his Dad was circ'd. He didn't know. How many boys grow up paying close attention to their Dad's privates? They pay more attention to the other guys in the changeroom, and most aren't circ'd these days. But it wasn't about being the same as anyone for us, it was about hurting my little man. After sitting through the heel prick test after birth DH agreed that we had made the right decision ;)
My view on circ is the same as my view on everything else to do with birth and parenting. Everyone is entitled to their own views/beliefs/practices. I have no problem with others circ'ing their boys if they're comfortable with it. I'm in no position to judge others. Each to their own.
moonblossom
21-02-2006, 19:30
I really think we have so many threads on this topic, I really dont fe
I don't think geographical location really has anything to do with it. :confused: I'd be interested to know why you think it would?
The fact that there are doctors in Brisbane who WOULD perform the deed makes no difference to my personal opinion. Just because the service is there, doesn't mean I would necessarily use it. IYKWIM.
I just think it would be interesting to know if circumcision was more prevelant in say the likes of Sydney or Melbourne whereas it's virtually unpracticed in Perth or what not.
Would just be interesting to know, I might go email a friend and get him to pull some recent medical journals for me and have a look into the matter.
ThomasMum
21-02-2006, 20:16
We are not going to circ Thomas. Reason: its no damn business of yours. Kidding!
I have a medical background in my family; my old man and my older brother both doctors (OB/GYN/Surg) and both used to work in Asia where circ was a huge topic.
I wouldnt say that both my dad and my brother are an anti-circ but they are not here to support the pro-circ either. None of the new generation of boys in my family (Thomas and his cousins) are circ.
The reason are simple; there’s no solid medical evidence to support routine circumcision, and so why don't we just leaving the foreskin the way Nature meant it to be?
Peace and bed time for me!
Be good folks and respect others :yelclap:
melfunction
21-02-2006, 20:38
We respect our sons rights to decide for himself if he wants to be done. He would then be old enough to understand the pain.
There is no undeniable medical evidence for us to think its necessary.
misskittyfantastico
21-02-2006, 20:40
I don't have a boy bubba but if I did he wouldn't be circumcised.
Barry, just curious, what do you do for a living?(if too personal then just ignore)
I find it fascinating that you know so much about the particular subject :)
I just think it would be interesting to know if circumcision was more prevelant in say the likes of Sydney or Melbourne whereas it's virtually unpracticed in Perth or what not.
The stats are available in a previous circ thread. Circ rates are higher in Queensland (20%) than anywhere else and are about 5% in WA I believe. Across the country the average is around 12-15% of boys circ'd with more being done in regional areas. I believe the reason for the variation is to do with the level of public education, and the rates are so low in WA because of a change in medical policy (don't remember the specifics).
My husband and I discussed it when I was first pregnant and his first response was that he wanted it done. After I did some research and found figures like those above, read medical position statements and research etc, I told him all the reasons I didn't think it was necessary and he agreed with me. Of course if our son needed it done for medical reasons and there was no other option, we would have it done but in Europe where most of the male population is uncirc'd, many of the problems we treat with circumcision are dealt with my other less invasive methods with much success and we would explore all options before surgery, just as we would with any other health issue.
We have agreed that no child of ours will experience *any* pain or trauma that is not completely necessary. For example, for us that includes giving the vitamin K dose orally as opposed to by injection. Some may think it's extreme.. but we believe our job as parents is to protect our child from harm, not inflict it. :)
MrsTwith3
21-02-2006, 20:59
My DS who just turned 2 may have to be circed much to our regret. It was something my DH and I discussed after he was born and both agreed to not have it done. Unfortunately it may be taken out of our hands due to infections under his extrememly tight foreskin. Our fingers are crossed that the foreskin may stretch but the doctor didnt seem to positive about that happening. If he has to be done to stop the pain of the horrible infections then that is just what is best for him.
We also didnt even consider it as an option - just didn't think of it:) I was thinking about this today though and about religious beliefs. Being a Christian I don't believe circumcision to be necessary but if I was living over 2000 years ago, I would have been a Jew I suppose and would have had it done. Glad my boys were born AD:laughing:
None of the younger boys in my family (that is, cousins, nephews, sons, etc) are done, only the eldest, my cousin, a 19 year old is done, and his mother had to search long and hard for a doctor to cut him.. And the doctor ended up doing it using the freehand method with no anaesthetic. At this stage, the procedure had been largely phased out, and as for the reasons why my aunt got it done to her son (my cousin) i have no idea, but she was (and still is) a bit of a witch.
The reason why none of these people have been 'done' is simply because there is no reason to. Pre-emptive motives are inexcusable, as there is more chance of them not having any problems then there is of them having any problems.
The only reason (i believe) why there are still a small minority of babies being done, is because the moans from the ghosts of many years ago can still be heard haunting us. This is true in many areas, not just the topic of circumcision i suppose.
Back to my cousin; He went to a prestigious school where they had locker rooms, and some how a rumour started circulating around the school that he was jewish :laughing: and every time there was a jewish holiday people would always congratulate him. He told me that he always replied with a feigned look on his face "i'm not jewish!" but they never believed him lol.
SugarBlossom
21-02-2006, 21:27
I would never circ as I think its totally ********
.......but each to their own
the_queen
21-02-2006, 21:28
We don't know the gender of this new bubs, but I'm having full-on boy vibes so I researched the issue of circ, then tentatively raised the issue with my (very VERY old-fashioned, traditionalistic, paternalistic) husband. I said to him "What is your opinion about circumcision, if the baby is a boy?"
His response: "oh my GOD that makes the penis SHORTER no way am I putting my son through that!!!!" :rolleyes: :yelclap:
LOL Queenie, no way my DH would have let anyone near his little sons 'bits' either, just the thought horrifies him!!! :eek:
I had no reason to consider it.
Also, before kids, I used to work assisting a GP who circ'd and I think this put me off. I could use more emotive terms but shall refrain.
QUeenie, I love the quote in your sig:D:yelclap:
lukaelmo
21-02-2006, 21:49
If you came anywhere near my bits with a scapel I would deck you :eek: No way would I pay someone to take to my little man with one unecessarily :smiliedance: .
I LOVE these new smilies... this one is my fave :banghead:
oh gee wiz... these new smilies are going to drive me NUTS reading the posts!!! :banghead: they detract from the message!!!
- re:circ .. we talked about it... and decided that unless DS gets lots of UTIs .. there was little point.. DH was done himself... but after looking at sites on the net and chatting about it we jsut decided it was un necessary... (after Jack was born I was sooo grateful I had discussed it and come to that decision... I cant stand the idea of anyone cutting him... or any pieces of his perfect body falling off) .. JMO :)
xxxx
LOL lukaelmo - we posted at the same time- with VERY different opinions :laughing:
-just thought I'd do my daily excercises virtually---- :smiliedance: ahhh there... done.. :)
xxx
lukaelmo
21-02-2006, 21:51
You are right veve, they are going to drive me bonkers too. But I love this one :banghead: .
LOL AGAIN with the posting at the SAME time... :rolleyes:
hey - just had a thought... how often is this one :ecomcity: going to be used in the MIL threads??? LOL
sorry to go off topic .. oops... - back to circ...
xxxx
Frazzled
21-02-2006, 22:03
We chose not to following thoughts of our parents and current medical information. My elder brother was circ at one day old in the hospital and my parents weren't even asked - it was such common practice. My mum didn't even know what it was. Then years later they saw a documentary about it and were mortified at the pain caused to the child, so they chose not to circ my younger brother. My mum said that she treated both boys exactly the same and never had any problems.
Any parents of uncirc boys - FYI this months Wollie Parents mag has a good article on how to care for an uncirc baby, i found this beneficial as i was a little lost...
Chickadee
21-02-2006, 22:11
I had a girl. Which was a good thing cause DH and I hadn't really discussed circ much or come to any conclusions. We probably wouldn't have gotten it done, simply due to not being organised enough or caring enough about it to go to the trouble of finding a dr to do it.
Can I just say how pleased I am with the way this thread is going, with no attacks over anybody's reasons. Good work guys and gals, keep it up!! :yelclap:
Before I met my DH I assumed any boy I had would be circ'd as my dad and brother were. Without wanting to sound like a naughty girl who saw lots of boys bits - I honestly can't remember how many of the men I've seen have been, so it does make me wonder how much of an issue this is out in the real world other than in forums.
When DS was born, our doc gave us some info on how there is no medical reason to circ and informed us that he doesn't do it, but it was our choice if we did - so we didn't. (DH isn't).
My brother has been and he has also had his two sons done - at the same time so one was very young and the other would have been 2. He's in Perth and had to shop around a bit, but not too much. I'm guessing his sons were done because he was (have to ask though).
My DSS was done at 10. This was instigated by him (supposedly), with him questioning differences with other kids his age. I'm a bit suspect on this and whether this is the real reason being that he's in Perth and I didn't think there would be too many kids his age that were done. My DH and I were in the process of moving from NT to WA at the time, and didn't get to discuss it too much with DSS, but when the decision was made and he was booked in we felt it would be more detrimental to question him too much. My DH was informed via my MIL and me the week before the op - not much say, but DSS's biomum said she had to take him to 4doctors to try to talk him out of it (does that say anything). I'm still upset about this one - not because of him being circ'd (if he was done at birth there wouldn't be an issue), but because I think the reason was one borne from self-esteem issues and cosmetic surgery won't solve them. When he gets to highschool, I suspect he'll see more boys without being circ'd but once it's done, it's done.
Can I just say how pleased I am with the way this thread is going, with no attacks over anybody's reasons. Good work guys and gals, keep it up!! :yelclap:
I thought the preamble would be a good idea to avoid that sort of thing :P
A reminder every now and then is also a good idea. ;)
Go on someone - stop this all this mutual admiration and reclaim the thread :D
Cheers
I honestly can't remember how many of the men I've seen have been, so it does make me wonder how much of an issue this is out in the real world other than in forums.
I can honestly say as a bloke it's never been an issue in my life, nor have I ever sat around a table at the pub with my mates and discussed the merits and errs of circumcision, most of us are done, a few aren't, some have gone from aren't to are recently due to medical reasons and say after initial discomfort it's no different other than visually.
I have to say I too can't remember how many of the men I've seen have been too :P
I have to laugh - I just think that the issue of circumcision is such a huge one in the internet forum format, but at the end of the day as far as I know (and being a woman - there's no way I'll ever know for sure), it's not really an issue out there in the "real world".
We go on and on about whether we've made the right decision for our child, yet the more importance we place on it - the more of an issue we might make it for our child. Like most things, if not much fuss is made - it probably won't be an issue for our children.
Guess the bottom line is that we do what we think is right and move on with our lives - it's the best way to live. If my DS (or this one if a boy) need to be done when older - it'll happen, until that time, I don't give another thought about circumcision until I log onto Bubhub!;)
Can I just say how pleased I am with the way this thread is going, with no attacks over anybody's reasons. Good work guys and gals, keep it up!!
Martha, I agree a non-argumentative thread is such a delight.. but so far only one person so far has responded to say they chose to circumcise so there's not much to argue about. :p
Martha, I agree a non-argumentative thread is such a delight.. but so far only one person so far has responded to say they chose to circumcise so there's not much to argue about. :p
Probably for fear of being attacked or what not as I've noticed in reading prior threads some people have stated they've had their children circumcised then asked to explain themselves repeatedly.
This isn't a place to argue anyway regardless of if twenty people come in and say they have had their children circumcised.
mellybean
22-02-2006, 12:47
I decided not to get my son done....I believe our bodies are made the way they are meant to be! I also did not want to see him go through the pain. I have a different partner now who has been circumcised ,but his brother isn't as his mum regretted having him done. We are having a new bub in 4 weeks., if we have a boy, I will stick with "no" even though DH is, and he ia happy with that.
If bubby is a boy we are not going to get him done. More of a 'going with the flow' thing than anything. Its not the done thing in 2006 so it won't be getting done.
Not a lot of thought to it for us.
This isn't a place to argue anyway regardless of if twenty people come in and say they have had their children circumcised.
I'm pretty sure no-one was planning on arguing Barry. It was just funny. Lighten up.
Supermum
22-02-2006, 13:06
We chose not to circumcise our son. He has had a number of infections, but thanks to the advice of the incredibly knowledgeable JohnC (my hero and non-circ advocate), we were able to sort out the issues and haven’t had an infection since.
My son is infection free.
It’s his penis his choice.
I cannot look into the future to say whether or not he will have issues. Should he have problems in the future, we will cross that bridge then.
If it ain’t broke – why fix it?
~Alicia~
22-02-2006, 13:22
We didnt even think about it really.
Dont know why, just didnt think to talk about it or do it
It never even crossed my mind to circumcise my son. If DH had wanted to I probably would have run for the hills. Nuff said.
Hi all,
I think this topic has been discussed at length and therefore there's not much more to add...We circumcised our son and will do so with any other sons that we may have...If you're interested in why then I've also posted on another thread...
SassyMummy
22-02-2006, 23:50
We didn't have a boy...but we didn't know that until she was born...so they topic DID come up.
My partner isn't circumsized, so that was not something I had to contend with. I don't think that circumcision is necessary, providing parents clean their sons thoroughly and teach their sons to do so when they're old enough to clean themselves. Considering that nowadays we have showers, and bathe each day, IMO, it's no longer an issue of hygeine at all...it's now just about whether or not people decide to have it done.
I don't believe that getting a boy circumsized for cosmetic reasons is a reason why...I haven't read many of the posts in this thread, so I don't know if that was a contributing factor into anyone's decision, but I just don't think a penis looks better with a circumcision. I also don't think they look any worse. They just look like a penis...
If I did have a son, I would not get him circumsized, unless it was for a medical reason, and had been suggested by a doctor. Even then, I would opt for a second opinion before doing so. I don't want to offend anyone, but IMO, circumcision is a form of un-necessary bodily modification.
You could argue that so are body piercings...which is why I will not get my daughter's ears done until she asks. If I had a son, and as an older boy he requested a circumcision, then I would take him to the doctor, to discuss the pros and cons of the operation (I'd probably wait outside...it would be embarrassing for him otherwise). If he decided to go through with it, then okay, I'd allow him to get it done. It would be his decision, however, not mine.
When my male friend was 14 (I was 14 too), he had a circumcision because he thought it looked better. IMO, that was a stupid reason, but he decided to get it done, and had it done because he wanted it. He's happy with his decision, and that's all that matters.
Pippi Longstocking
23-02-2006, 09:04
This is why I chose not to circumcise my two boys...
Refuting some common circumcision arguments…
“I want my son to look like me”. Most boys have no idea of what their father’s penis looks like. Even when a father is naked around their sons, the child very rarely examines his father’s penis. I would go so far as to say most boys would look away whilst muttering about how shameful dad is! Furthermore, a lot of dads have scars, tattoos, piercings, birthmarks etc. If you want the child to look like daddy, are you then going to have all the same disfiguring marks inflicted on your child?
“Circumcision is part of my religious beliefs”. Stoning to death used to be a religious practice. Burning of witches used to be a religious practice. There are countless other religious practices that are no longer socially accepted due to society evolving and our laws changing to prevent cruelty and harm being inflicted on others.
“Babies don’t feel/don’t remember the pain”. I can assure you, babies do indeed feel pain. In fact, studies have shown that babies actually feel pain more acutely than adults. Cutting off ones ear would hurt just as much at 2 weeks as it would at 2 months, 20 months or 20 years. The fact that the child can’t remember it does not change the fact that it hurts. And I personally feel that it would be far less stressful to an adult who has made the decision himself, is expecting the pain and can comprehend the after pain than it would for an innocent defenseless baby who has no idea why his genital area is suddenly in excruciating pain which is exacerbated every time he urinates.
“Circumcision lowers the rates of sexually transmitted diseases”. Many studies have refuted these claims. “Recent studies have demonstrated that circumcised men are at increased risk of contracting gonorrhea, syphilis and genital warts. Men are at equal risk for developing human papillomavirus lesions and herpesvirus infections regardless of circumcision status. At least four studies have shown human immunodeficiency virus infection to occur more commonly in circumcised men” http://www.cirp.org/library/disease/STD/.
Furthermore, even if the claim that circumcision did indeed lower the chances of contracting STD’s, would this then give men a false sense of security. I personally believe my uncircumcised sons will be much more protected against STD’s when taught to use condoms on their intact penises than an unprotected circumcised man. There is a risk of contracting STD’s regardless of ones circumcision status.
“Circumcision is cleaner”. In a word, bollocks! I would not endorse the cutting off of ears to make sure there was no grime build up behind the ear. Vaginas are for more…icky yet we do not cut off labia in order to keep the area clean. Little girls are taught to wash. To assume a boy would allow his penis to become filthy isn’t really giving him much credit, eh. I am sure my sons know how to adequately bathe themselves in order to maintain an appropriate level of hygiene.
Have I missed any “good” reasons for circumcision? Please let me know and I shall attempt to refute them too.
In conclusion, I believe that circumcision is an unnecessary, cruel, inhumane and ******** practice. I don’t believe that parents that choose to have this procedure performed on their male babies are necessarily cruel, inhumane and ********, merely misled and misinformed. I would like to see this practice outlawed. I find it ironic that in Australia, tail docking of dogs is illegal yet it is ok to sever the skin on the end of a child’s penis. Why is more value placed on a dogs tail than that of a child’s genitals?
HoopDeeDoo
23-02-2006, 09:30
The issue never came up. I wouldn't circumsise my daughter if I had one, so why would I circumsise my son?
woah!
ok, yep im sure thats all true.
my simple answer, i chose not to do it as i just simply didnt want to put him through unnecessary pain.. in saying that, i do not judge anyone who has had their boys done. none of my business.
i am glad its not the done thing anymore, as they used to just do all lil baby boys.. glad its the other way around now.
people can have it done if need be, but i didnt want to hurt my baby... guess its a protective mother thing.
Pippi Longstocking
23-02-2006, 09:40
I would like to discuss the "none of my business" idea. I understand that this is an emotive topic and will try hard to not cause offense yet it is difficult to be tactful. :o
If a child is being abused in some way, is it our business? For example, if a baby was being burnt with a cigarette? Is it our responsibility to act on this and make sure it doesn't happen again? I remember ages ago, a father in America was charged with child abuse because he tattooed his son - he wrote the kids name on his son's forearm. I personally beleive that when a child is being harmed, it becomes our business. We all have a duty to protect children.
I feel that circumcision harms children. My boys are safe so essentially, people could argue that what others do is not my business. But for me, in just the same way as child abuse becomes my business, so too does the issue of circumcision. I want to protect little boys from this painful and traumatic procedure.
Oh, and I wish to point out that the child abuse and circ. was a comparison. I am not implying that people who circumcise are child abusers.
hayleylea
23-02-2006, 09:50
We got my DH done with he was 5 weeks old. The reason being is because yes his dad was done, also because we have known a few little boys aswell as grown men who have had troubles and we didnt want to take the risk.
I live in a country town where the doctor who performed the circ had done extensive research himself into the rate of circumcision in our area and a wider area around the odds were 40-50 - in favour of not being circumcised. When i was thinking whether to get him done or not i was worried he was going to be the odd one out but with odds like that i didnt think there was that much to worry about...plus as its been stated i dont think people really look at each others privates and i really dont think it will be a problem for cooper when he is older.
each to their own...this is just my opinion! :D
I would like to discuss the "none of my business" idea. I understand that this is an emotive topic and will try hard to not cause offense yet it is difficult to be tactful. :o
I believe Barry started this thread with the intent of finding out some of the reasons why people choose to or not to circumcise their own children. It would be greatly appreciated if this thread could stay on topic. If you wish to discuss other issues, please feel free to start another thread.
Many thanks!:)
Pippi Longstocking
23-02-2006, 09:52
Soitenly! Will do... :)
OK back to the topic, if no-one has anything new to add this thread will be closed...
What are your reasons for circumcising or not?
We chose to circ our boys. For a number of reasons. One was because DH is circ'd, as are all the boys in my family and another being that one of my cousin's was done at the age of 5(ish... it was either 4 or 5 can't quite remember at this point) after repeated painful infections.
These weren't the only factors but they did aid us in our decision.
I would like to discuss the "none of my business" idea. I understand that this is an emotive topic and will try hard to not cause offense yet it is difficult to be tactful. :o
This is a thread to discuss the choice a parent(s) made not whether or not those are right.
If you wish to discuss those please start a thread in that direction, so that this one may stay on topic and useful.
Thank you.
melfunction
23-02-2006, 18:55
Relax Barry, it has been done.
I believe Barry started this thread with the intent of finding out some of the reasons why people choose to or not to circumcise their own children. It would be greatly appreciated if this thread could stay on topic. If you wish to discuss other issues, please feel free to start another thread.
Many thanks!:)
Hi Barry,
You must have missed my post but this has already been requested and ****** has already started a thread of this type.
Have a great night.:)
Hi Barry,
You must have missed my post but this has already been requested and ****** has already started a thread of this type.
Have a great night.:)
Heh yeah I just logged on and checked my email... then realised later as I clicked new posts. Oops! :banghead:
Mum2Lucas
24-02-2006, 09:55
I thought about getting my son circumcised but then once i thought a little more on the topic i decided that it was a form of genital modification. And thought well if i didnt like the fact that all these girls over in third world countries and what not are having their genitals circumcised against their own will why should i make that sort of decision for my son. If, when he's older he wants to get it done then ill support his decision, but until then it's not really necessary.
StormAngel
03-03-2006, 13:34
Okay, i'll be brave :o
I had my son circumsised when he was 4wks old!
The reasons - I live in the country, where researching the topic is not so easy; his dad, uncles & cousins were all done & It was 12yrs ago now, back then it seemed to be the done thing, the Dr did 5 other bubs that day.
Since then i have had 3 girls, so the subject has never come up again!
hillbaby5
03-03-2006, 15:05
It upsets me to think that people are comparing female circ in third world countries to Male circ. They circ girls in third world countries for one reason and that is so that they never enjoy sex Now that is barbarric.
Both my boys are circumcised be cause I have seen the things that can happen when they arent .
Many African girls are circumcised because their parents "have seen the things that happen when they aren't".
Female circumcision is generally considered a right of passage, and circumcised women fail to understand how Western mothers could neglect such an important part of their daughters growing up. Uncircumcised women are considered unclean, impure and childish.
There are different types of female circumcision, that do varying degrees of damages, ranging from practially zero to completely devastating.
Since the foreskin is not a distinct organ, and where it starts is anyones guess, all circumcisions too, are different, with varying degrees of damage. There are also subcisions etc, as performed by the aborigines.
Most circumcised women refuse to believe that their sexuality is in any way damaged, or they believe that perhaps it is even better. (sound familiar?)
It is circumcised women who are circumcising girls, (sound familiar?) and this is why we are finding it so difficult to eradicate. It is men who are most likely to be against the procedure.
Both are believed to be benefitial for health.
""For a girl to come out and say that she is not circumcised and that she is happy, well I could not believe my ears."
Female and male circumcision are closer than you think. Both have their roots in the control of sexuality.
Take a look at how popular opinion of circumcisin in the West has evolved. http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/page2.html
The following, are the comments of the feminist, Amnesty International Section Director, and Human Rights Commissioner.
“If the modification of the genitals of females is considered to be a violation then it is a given principle that the same would apply to the male. But in reality, seemingly because of the cultural blinders on some of the individuals that are implementing these principles, there is some kind of reluctance to give male genital modification [MGM] full recognition. This is purely cultural bias.”
“The fact is that circumcision and other forms of male genital modification (MGM) have been used to suppress men’s sexuality and subjugate men, but this fact is not well known. You only need to look at medical journals of the 1800s and early 1900s, and you can find innumerable references to circumcision being performed on young boys to prevent masturbation. British and North American male children were being circumcised without anaesthetic deliberately so that they would associate it with being punished for masturbation. I would completely disagree that male circumcision is not ‘grossly violative.’ This is all part of controlling sexuality. I believe that once society realizes that the origin of a practice is to control and subjugate, then that practice should definitely cease. That is at least one good reason to stop.”
“When you look at different cultures, all the same arguments for male infant circumcision are also used for FGM, and vice-versa. Like many cultural practices, once their origins are forgotten, it [MGM] becomes a traditional practice and people forget that its original purpose was to subjugate men. Whatever the intent then or now, its effect is to damage the [male] victim’s sexual sensitivity. I can’t speak to why doctors are doing it today, but in the 1800s and early 1900s doctors knew exactly why they were circumcising – which was to subjugate and control male sexuality. That is what the medical profession has inherited, whether they like it or not. The sexual desensitization of the penis has become shrouded in history.”
Angelmist♥
04-03-2006, 10:46
We had decided to circ our boys before they were born.Because of the "same as Dad" and cleanliness issues. Then a friend of mine was circumcised at 26 and begged me not to do it to our bubs.He told me how excruciating it had been for him even with the anaesthetics and painkillers.
Soooo we changed our minds. Where we live it is extremely hard to find a doctor to actually circumcise so all the kids at school are the same.
I didn't really have a position on it before I was pregnant. I remember disagreeing with my sister in law for having her boy done when my brother wasn't(none of the boys in my family were). I didn't think it was good for his boy to be different to him. I applied the same logic to my situation and thought that I would do my boy as my hubby was until the birthing class. They asked us to put aside our preconceived notions and seriously think about the reasons why.
I decided not to because:
Hygiene isn't a question because whether you are a boy/girl, circumcised or not, bad hygiene causes ill health - and as people in our culture have lots of baths & showers so this isn't really a concern.
Religion is a matter of opinion. I come from a Dutch Christian family who doesn't hold these beliefs. They are something that seems to be very prevalent in the Australian churches - not sure why. After all, the custom was Jewish. Personally, I think if God put it there, its not up to me to take it off.
Hubby was horrified and said NO (99% of decision making process).
All that was left was the cosmetic aspect and the pain, and one clearly outweighed the other.
Many African girls are circumcised because their parents "have seen the things that happen when they aren't".
Please do not post things of this nature in this thread.
Read the opening comment for ample reasoning as to why.
Freddyboy
08-03-2006, 17:33
I didn't circumcise my son. There is no reason to. If he was born with a little pair or scissors/plastibell/etc and an instruction kit with steps on 'how to' next to his penis then perhaps I would have, but he wasn't.
This to me means that you leave it as nature intended....it is there for a reason so why remove it?
It upsets me to think that people are comparing female circ in third world countries to Male circ. They circ girls in third world countries for one reason and that is so that they never enjoy sex Now that is barbarric.
Both my boys are circumcised be cause I have seen the things that can happen when they arent .
Barry, if you are going to ask people to refrain from making comments that are off-topic, perhaps you should have picked up on this one too. If people make comments like this one, someone else has a right to refute them. :)
Barry, if you are going to ask people to refrain from making comments that are off-topic, perhaps you should have picked up on this one too. If people make comments like this one, someone else has a right to refute them. :)
That's on topic.
Ample people have said I think circumcision is the devil incarnate and therefore I don't circumcise.
This person made that comment as part of there reasoning, both are relevant as far as I am concerned.
What is not relevant is a half page rant unrelated to the question.
Can I ask why you've only picked this particular comment to highlight as opposed to the anti-circ comments which have been made?
Sorry - I only meant to highlight the first sentence in her post which related to people's comparing female to male circ, which I didn't think was actually answering the question of 'why did you choose to or not to circumcise your child?'.
Sorry - I only meant to highlight the first sentence in her post which related to people's comparing female to male circ, which I didn't think was actually answering the question of 'why did you choose to or not to circumcise your child?'.
Well I guess we'll have to agree to disagree as I read that like the other statements people have made as speaking towards the persons frame of mind when making the choice.
Peaceangels
08-03-2006, 20:28
Getting back to the question, we chose not to because we didn't see the point really, besides not all hospital's/Dr's will do it and our hospital was one of them (which cemented our decision).
Another reason was that it is not the "norm" these days, majority of boys are uncircumcised, so we thought why put them through unnecessary pain when they are going to look different to everyone else.
Still not sure how we are going to explain why daddy's is different, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
It's a simple one in our family... No-one has ever had it cut for at least three generations and there's never been a reason to do so. We also feel that a boys penis should look the same as his dad's.
We wanted to get DS done (as daddy is & heard of boys having to have in done as teenagers) but no-one would do it for us. We were living in smallish country town at the time, but even other towns (some quite large) wouldnt do it. Found one doctor that would, but only if we held our son during the procedure - wasnt going to happen (my partner squirms at the thought of a needle so it would have been up to me!). I was annoyed, i think it should be parents choice. You should be made to read positives & negatives but in the end it should have been up to my partner & I & no-one else.
the_queen
11-03-2006, 20:00
We wanted to get DS done (as daddy is & heard of boys having to have in done as teenagers) but no-one would do it for us. We were living in smallish country town at the time, but even other towns (some quite large) wouldnt do it. Found one doctor that would, but only if we held our son during the procedure - wasnt going to happen (my partner squirms at the thought of a needle so it would have been up to me!). I was annoyed, i think it should be parents choice. You should be made to read positives & negatives but in the end it should have been up to my partner & I & no-one else.
:confused: Sounds like the decision was up to you and your DP?
But you didn't want to have to hold your baby down while the procedure was performed - am I reading your post right??
Yes, that's right. The Dr would perform it but only if we held DS during the procedure. It's said as a deterent. I just couldnt do it so I made the choice not to. I still would have liked to find someone that would have done it for us, but DS isnt done & I'm not concerned anymore. If anything happens down the track, I'll worry about it then
the_queen
13-03-2006, 11:38
The Dr would perform it but only if we held DS during the procedure. It's said as a deterent. I just couldnt do it so I made the choice not to.
Maybe it is said as a deterrant - but I guess that's so parents don't just blindly choose to circ their baby without knowing what is actually involved in the procedure.
The way I look at it, if you couldn't even bear to witness the procedure, how awful do you think it would have been for your bubba to have to actually endure it???
We did look into it - i dont think anyone "blindly" gets it done. There is no right or wrong, it's a personal decision.
Ultamitely its my baby so its my choice.
Each to their own.
*butterflykisses*
13-03-2006, 15:07
to tell you all the truth it was never an issue with us we never even thought of getting it done at all
i have to say though i was in recovery with twins that had it done and the mum said to me i so regret havin it done to them now, so seeing these 2 boys going through what they did that day i differently said no way to getting my boys done
but i do agree that its a parents choice and there is no right or wrong way in this situation, its just one of those decisions we have to make as a mum or dad
Ultamitely its my baby so its my choice.
Each to their own.
Incorrect. It's your babies body, so its his choice.
Incorrect. It's your babies body, so its his choice.
Ok, so my baby is on formula instead of breast milk - Does that make me a bad mother too? Sorry, I didnt ask him which he would prefer.
My baby does not choose whether or not he wants to be immunised - I do.
My baby does not choose whether he wants to wear blue or grey - I do.
I fail to understand why people get so passionate about this issue. It is a personal decision. My baby is not done & I;m ok with that. All I am trying to say is that it should be available to be done if the parents want it done. My DF was done, as was everyone else from his generation (that I know) and he is neither mentally or physically scarred.
Unlike nearly everyone else, I am NOT saying it is right or wrong so I would appreciate it if people stopped attacking me.
SugarBlossom
13-03-2006, 18:49
:detective: I was pondering why so many of the same people always seem to "hang out" at the circ threads?
Why keep giong round and round in circles as you seem to be doing?:banghead:
I'm sure you have many wonderful opinions on other stuff to share.....:ecomcity: :)
:detective: I was pondering why so many of the same people always seem to "hang out" at the circ threads?
Why keep giong round and round in circles as you seem to be doing?:banghead:
I'm sure you many wonderful opinions on other stuff to share.....:ecomcity: :)
"here here" Lesson learnt
reAllytee
13-03-2006, 19:51
sharvs - Well said :yelclap:
Ive learnt my lesson also sad though.
imagine if i said that my baby did not choose whether or not he could keep all of his fingers or his ears. I couldn't just say, my baby my choice, (i realy dont think that it is), and i couldnt say that there is no right or wrong.
Is it really only the male prepuce that requires so little justification to remove?
Removing healthy body parts from another person without their consent is no more a "personal" decision, than it is for me to decide what colour to paint my neighbours house.
In other words i would not circumcise, because I don't have the right.
And a reminder once again to keep it nice. Not only can the thread be closed but people who only post here to attack others will be banned.
Incorrect. It's your babies body, so its his choice.
Thats not true - because until the age of 18 the parents are legally responsible for every desicion made for said baby. My DD when she was 6 wanted to dye her hair purple, doesnt mean i let her just because it was her hair, its still not her desicion.. (and yes i am well aware that dyeing of hair and chopping off of skin is not the same thing - that wasnt the point)
My SS isnt circumcised and neither will any future boys we have. My DH isnt and has never had any issues and neither has my SS who is now 9yrs old. There is no medical reason to do it at birth so i figure its best not to fiddle with it. I have known friends who didnt (do it at their sons birth) and had to later in life (a few years later) for medical reasons, of which i dont know the complete details..
But after all that - its still only my desicion. I dont have a problem with ppl that do it, its their desicion :)
bundymum
13-03-2006, 22:33
I have three sons and my hubby and I both decided prior to thier births that they would not be circumcised because my hubby is not. However, our middle son has recurring infections, not serious but still there non the less and the next step is to do the circumcision. Our problem is this...........how do we explain to him that he is no different to his brothers or father because he looks different?
poshBecks
13-03-2006, 22:37
We didn't coz we forgot!! :o Dh is, so we were going to, but time just got away on us. I figure by the time he's old enough to notice the difference. He prolly wont be getting much of a chance to look at his Dad's willy anyways!
Thats not true - because until the age of 18 the parents are legally responsible for every desicion made for said baby.
But we don't make a list of body parts and then weigh up the pros and cons of keeping each one. I wouldnt say that I decided to not remove my kids ears etc.
The only reason why the foreskin is singled out as a body part that apparantely requires such a decision, is the very odd history associated with it, and the cultural influence of this, which is clearly long lasting.
Of course, foreskins can cause problems. For example last year in the UK, surgical data records 30,000 "foreskin operations" (not all were circumcisions, but its reasonable to assume that a fair percentage would be).
It sounds like a lot, until you compare with other surgeries.
B27 Total excision of breast 17,161
B28 Other excision of breast 37,056
C71 Extracapsular extraction of lens 306,083
C75 Prothesis of lens 301,319
C12 Extirpation of lesion of eyelid 29,966
D15 Drainage of middle ear 47,666
E03 Operations on septum of nose 26,878
E04 Operations on turbinate of nose 22,201
E20 Operations on adenoid 24,047
E49 Diagnostic fibreoptic endoscopic examination of lower
respiratory tract 44,718
F09 Surgical removal of tooth 76,072
F10 Simple extraction of tooth 71,186
F34 Excision of tonsil 52,785
H01 Emergency excision of appendix 35,350
H20 Endoscopic extirpation of lesion of colon 31,627
J18 Excision of gall bladder 50,300
K49 Transluminal balloon angioplasty of coronary artery 49,495
L85 Ligation of varicose vein of leg 32,296
L87 Other operations on varicose vein of leg 59,904
L91 Other vein related operations 77,311
M42 Endoscopic extirpation of lesion of bladder 37,909
M45 Diagnostic endoscopic examination of bladder 255,207
M47 Urethral catheterisation of bladder 123,503
M49 Other operations on bladder 37,104
M70 Other operations on outlet of male prostate 26,296
P05 Excision of vulva 7,133 (!!)
P09 Other operations on vulva 7,073
P13 Other operations on female perineum 3,446
P23 Other repair of prolapse of vagina 23,686
Q07 Abdominal excision of uterus 32,528
Q08 Vaginal excision of uterus 14,081
Q22 Bilateral excision of adnexa of uterus 26,095
S70 Other operations on nail 3,544
V54 Other operations on spine 33,253
W37 Total prosthetic replacement of hip joint using cement 38,833
W40 Total prosthetic replacement of knee joint using cement 45,500
etc etc etc etc etc ...
So..why give the foreskin so much attention? ,..why is it so unique that it alone, requires an immediate "Personal decision" as to whether or not it should stay?
Indigosmum
14-03-2006, 21:46
It was funny, when I found out I was having a boy, my Aunty asked me whether we would be circumsising or not (it was something that didnt even cross my mind & seemed so bizarre when somebody asked me) Back in my brother's day (he is 22) I think they just did it, because you did! (as mum put it) But, to be honest no one mentioned it to me - not my doctor, none of the nurses no one. They gave me a sheet about how to care for an uncircumcised boy's bits and that was all the info I was given, so that pretty much told me that medics are against circumcision if a hospital doesnt even bring it up.
Plus I couldnt do it to him. I suppose in the future we will just have to explain the importance of hygiene and see how he goes from there. but like a previous poster listed, a lot of his future mates will be in the same boat.
Danielle and Indigo
Me - Danielle 25 :ecomcity:
DH - Damien 25 :banghead:
DS - Indigo 13 Months :sleeping:
Thats not true - because until the age of 18 the parents are legally responsible for every desicion made for said baby. My DD when she was 6 wanted to dye her hair purple, doesnt mean i let her just because it was her hair, its still not her desicion..
Your dear daughter, chose to have her hair purple, and you refused.
Someones dear son, would never choose to be circumcised. Ever. So why subject them to it?
(PS: The legal age of autonomy for medical issues is actually 14 in Australia).
Plus I couldnt do it to him. I suppose in the future we will just have to explain the importance of hygiene and see how he goes from there. but like a previous poster listed, a lot of his future mates will be in the same boat. See, this sounds extreme to me. Why would you need to explain how to clean something that is natural? Would they give you information on how to clean his hands? Humans have had natural penises for thousands if not millions of years, i think human penises know how to function without any special attention.
See, this sounds extreme to me. Why would you need to explain how to clean something that is natural? Would they give you information on how to clean his hands? Humans have had natural penises for thousands if not millions of years, i think human penises know how to function without any special attention.
I disagree Jim, I have boys, and whilst i would never get them circumcised, I did have to explain to them when they were old enough, the importance of hygiene, this includes their penis, and yes their hands. Any parent will tell you (im assuming maybe you are not one, although i apologise if i am wrong) that it is necessary to explain to a small child the importance of washing their hands after going to the toilet, before eating etc, brushing their teeth, and showing them how all this is done. Likewise a boy, when he is old enough, needs to have explained to him that it is important to give it a quick clean each night in the bath, otherwise he wouldnt know to do it.
I never wanted to have it done. They were all born perfect, how could we mess with that? A funny little anecdote though. My DS always says to my DH (who is circumcised), "Daddy, put your penis back in..."
P.S. Coops, I've never told my boys (even the older ones) how to clean them, I presume(d) they are relatively self cleaning. Obviously we wash their special areas, but not under strict instructions....:)
oh well, i must be weird or something then,:p i know my older son would not have known that he had to pull it back a bit to give it a clean if i hadnt told him, my other son is too little yet though.
reAllytee
21-03-2006, 22:44
oh well, i must be weird or something then,:p i know my older son would not have known that he had to pull it back a bit to give it a clean if i hadnt told him, my other son is too little yet though.
Dont worry my nephew was the same he had to be shown & still needs to be reminded to do it at 10yrs of age so i think it depends on the individual.
Dont worry my nephew was the same he had to be shown & still needs to be reminded to do it at 10yrs of age so i think it depends on the individual.
yup, my son is the same, he is nearly 10 as well, and i stil have to remind him sometimes 'have you done your willy?' and usually he has forgotten:rolleyes: :p
Ange&Seth
22-03-2006, 12:28
This is always a tricky subject!!!
We decided to have our boy circ'd for many reasons. We (who am I kidding? I) read alot about it and spoke to other people aswell. I also worked in a private hospital at the time and had done many admissions for men and boys ranging from 6yrs to 65yrs old who had to be done for medical reasons. My own uncle had to have his done at 35 yrs and he said it is the most degrading and embarrassing thing he has ever had done (nurses changing dressings etc) so our reasons were:
1 - same as his dad
2 - cleanliness and hygeine (if we don't know how to properly care for the foreskin, how will we teach him?)
3 - thought it better to do it while only a few weeks old so he wouldn't remember it than to wait until teenager and have him remember it and go through the embarrassment
though having said that, the circumcision didn't go according to plan and I had bub back to the doctor twice and to the hospital once before my partner finally took bub to the doctor himself and demanded it be fixed (the foreskin hadn't come away from penis properly, only a matter of a quick cut).
I think it is all a personal choice and don't see any one way should be the norm.
I had been warned by my mother to circ any sons I had as babies, as 2 of my 3 brothers has nightmare experiences with phimosis, and had to be circ'd at about age 4-5.
but noooo, I was determined not to circumcise my little boys, and then lo and behold, my sons have phimosis.....Already my eldest felt humiliated weeing at urinals at school as his willy blew up like a balloon from the pressure, as the hole at the top was pretty near less than a pin prick width, and kids were commenting on it. Not to mention the infections.....dont go there :eek:
It hasnt been a pretty experience, and I totally regret not having them done as babies, as my brother (who had had phimosis) had his son done after 8 days and he cried for maybe 30 seconds, compared to the 2-3 hours of agonising screaming my 2 eldest boys endured after their circs last year (aged 5 and 3). I am too scared to get my 2 year old done yet, but I know the sooner the better, and with my next baby, he will be done after 8 days like my nephew.
I think if you have no medical history of phimosis, then I cant see any real reason (apart maybe from religion, as i reckon you can go to any Jewish or Muslim internet forum, run a poll over who had been traumatised by the circs, and I think you will pretty much get a unanimous 'no' from all the men there).
but it if it isnt in your culture, dont bother I say......
I also think that women commenting on the rights and wrongs of circumcision is a bit like blokes getting round and discussing what a woman should do with her labour. What do we know? For proper information we should go straight to the horses mouth, so to speak, and gather opinions from those who have personally been circumcised......
TheFirstJoel
27-03-2006, 17:32
i consider it as cruel as docking a dogs/horses tails
The difference being that the tail docking of dogs is outlawed in most states, but the same for humans doesn't apply, because urban myths continue to float around. It is indeed a deep rooted problem that will only be solved by the sands of the hour glass.
We chose not to have our son circumcised, because basically there is no need. 'Don't fix what ain't broke' as another poster put it. Circumcising was not even an issue and just something we would never imagine doing. Plain and simple answer really:D
Thanks everyone for your continuing contributions to this thread. A gentle reminder that the purpose of this thread is to allow everyone to give their reasons for circ'ing or not. Provide your own opinions and experiences, we value the different perspectives that hubbers have on this subject. However, please refrain from attacking the opinions or experiences that have been offered by others.
Cheers
becca74, how is it, that something which is completely natural, and something that humans have had for thousands of years, can be so prone to infection and problems?
The answer is.. it isn't at all probable :) Statistics show that it is very rare to suffer phismosis..
I'd just like to say this:
Infections and problems amongst foreskins are very rare.. So, how is it.. That you know .. let me see.. 4 boys who have had problems? You would be lucky to know one.. but 4? It just seems a tad strange.
The difference being that the tail docking of dogs is outlawed in most states, but the same for humans doesn't apply, because urban myths continue to float around. It is indeed a deep rooted problem that will only be solved by the sands of the hour glass.
Sweetie, all 3 of my boys so far have phimosis (it must be genetic in my family - my father was done for this reason, and 2 of my 3 brothers were done), and I am just procrastinating over my 2 year old being done, as it was so very traumatic for my older 2 boys. My nephew was done after 8 days, cried for 30 seconds, and is the most placid easy going little fella I've ever met. I am not going to risk my next son going through those HOURS of screaming that my older boys went through. I have a heart. My next boy will be done a week or so after his birth, as this is the least traumatic option. And having a dr fiddling with his willy when he is older to 'stretch' it just makes me feel sick at the thought - it verges on sexual abuse in my mind :barf: And because my boys have an extreme form of phimosis, stretching is no guarantee for us.
Anyway, I dare you to go to a Jewish religious forum, set up a poll and ask how many of them feel traumatised by being circumcised at birth, and I do believe you will get a resounding silence from them, since none of them have any recollection or trauma, and all feel very proud of what they have had done to them.
My husband felt so guilty at having his sons done, he had himself done to be the same as them, a few months before. So the illusion that it makes everything less sensitive can be refuted by him, as now he has the opposite issue - it is TOO sensitive, and he feels he goes too fast, like a teenage boy with his first sexual encounter.
So we are a rare case - but that's because we are a very special family :hugs:
(I have deleted this paragraph)
I dont advocate unnecessary circumcision. I was willing to risk that my eldest would grow out of his phimosis, even against the advice of drs. I felt at the time I would be mutilating him.
Obviously EXPERIENCE has taught me a different lesson....
so unless you can speak from *experience*, I dont know how you can possibly judge my circumstances......
Hi becca74, dont worry, most of us here are sensible people who understand that sometimes circumcision is unavoidable, please dont feel you have to justify yourself to anyone, you know what is best for your little boys. :)
I left the decision up to my partner and he decided that there was no medical reason for DS to be circumsized, so to leave him be. If he wants to be circumsized he can make that decision himself when he's old enough to make that kind of decision
Hi becca74, dont worry, most of us here are sensible people who understand that sometimes circumcision is unavoidable, please dont feel you have to justify yourself to anyone, you know what is best for your little boys. :)
Thank you :hugs:
I think when people go on and on about being deformed or 'mutilated', it makes it harder, as some of us are doing it for necessary reasons, and what sort of self-image would that supply to my sons, if they are confronted with the brunt of a force of people who are telling them they have something wrong with them as they look unnatural or mutilated.
It was a very traumatic experience, probably more traumatic for me and my husband than the boys!
I will bring my boys up and let them know there are lots of other boys who are exactly the same as them, and throughout thousands of years of history boys and men have looked like this and have been proud of it, so I want them to have healthy self-esteem about it. And we have some Jews on one side of our family (we are not Jewish though) who they can talk to if they ever feel strange in anyway - amongst them, they are all 'helmets', and the ones with 'beanies' would look like outcasts ;)
I dont want them to feel 'less of a man' as when it comes to intimate relations later on in life, I dont want them to feel mediocre in anyway, and people spouting on about men who are circ'd being mediocre in some way, is very backward thinking. My boys will grow up proud of how they are, no matter how they look physically :smiliedance: .
If you are a man who never had to have it done, count yourself lucky!!
reAllytee
28-03-2006, 18:57
becca74 - Im sure with a great mama like you as their guide your boys will grow up happy & comfortable with who they are not only physically but also emotionally.
Now i think like its been warned before this thread needs to get back to the topic this isnt the place to attack others who are just answering a question.
TheFirstJoel
29-03-2006, 08:43
- Becca74, statistics show that problems with foreskins are rare.. So how is it that you know 4 children who have had problems, when it is unlikely that you would even know 1?
- How is it that something which humans have had for thousands of years, and which is completely natural, can be so prone to infections and trouble?
- No other part of the human body is as troublesome as that bad mr foreskin.. You don't want any other part of a babies body removed i gather? So what makes you distinguish between the foreskin and other parts of the human body?
please, just leave it.
anyone either for or against who is seen to be attacking anyone will have their post edited or deleted, if you do not have anything else relevant to contribute, then please leave well enough alone.
TheFirstJoel,
Most of us here on bubhub are passionate about our beliefs, but you just have to respect other people's beliefs too, even if they don't concur with yours (this is very hard for lots of us, trust me).
Diversity is what makes bubhub pretty good most of the time!
- Becca74, statistics show that problems with foreskins are rare.. So how is it that you know 4 children who have had problems, when it is unlikely that you would even know 1?
- How is it that something which humans have had for thousands of years, and which is completely natural, can be so prone to infections and trouble?
- No other part of the human body is as troublesome as that bad mr foreskin.. You don't want any other part of a babies body removed i gather? So what makes you distinguish between the foreskin and other parts of the human body?
Becca has actually answered your questions in an earlier post. Here is her response if you are interested http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=12765&page=11
Please keep to the original topic of giving your reasons for or against circ'ing. At the hub we like to keep this place a supportive and tolerant environment to share our different opinions. Diversity of opinion is welcome at the hub, attacking other peoples experiences or questioning thier integrity is not. If there is nothing new to share, the thread will be closed.
- Becca74, statistics show that problems with foreskins are rare.. So how is it that you know 4 children who have had problems, when it is unlikely that you would even know 1?
You are accusing me of not knowing my own babies whom I carried for nine months, laboured and gave birth to? :eek: :confused:
do you have kids yourself? Have you ever given birth before? I dont really trust advice regarding mothering issues from people who have never given birth. Unless you have walked in a mothers shoes, you really will never have any clue as to the issues we deal with all the time. Having children is an initiation process that elevates us women to a greater level, I am sure all the mums here will agree, when comparing who they were before and after children. If you havent had a baby yet, you just aint on the level. Sorry, you've got a looooong way to go.
I find this *deeply* offensive, and I know others can see your comments as deeply offensive as well. so unless you can come to me from real life experience, as opposed to just reading through a biased text book, then I really have no respect for anything you have to say. That is what I assumed this thread was about, people who have been confronted with the issue of circumcision in REAL LIFE and what decisions they have come to. If you havent been confronted with it in REAL LIFE, I truly dont know how you can contribute to this thread?
Becca, I'm pretty sure you will find that most of us bub-hubers trust you have done what is best for YOUR sons. YOU are the mum, you make decisions. You should not let the minority bother you. You are a great mum, you have great sons. Dont let petty people cloud your thoughts for a minute.
If people cant respect other peoples decisions & be supportive, regardless of whether they agree or not, then they shouldnt be posting.
Good on ya, Bec! :hugs:
I had been warned by my mother to circ any sons I had as babies, as 2 of my 3 brothers has nightmare experiences with phimosis, and had to be circ'd at about age 4-5.
One of my 2 brothers had the same problem as your brothers when he was about 5. I can still remember how much pain he was in.
When his own son was born last year there was no way he was letting him out that hospital without "being done". His wife said it's your call as I have no experience in this dept. And my nephew slept through having the ring placed on him, so it wasn't traumatic at all.
Becca you don't have to justify yourself to us. Everyone's situation is different and everyone has their own reasons for doing things.
Thankyou to all who contributed in the spirit of sharing opinions and experiences, your contributions are greatly valued, however I think that this thread has gone as far as it can for the moment and will now be closed.
Cheers
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