Controlled crying on 14 week old?

[babylove1]

Hi all, I'm new to this site and motherhood and have been reading your posts on CC.

I have been reading a book called Silent Nights which suggests you can use CC with children as young as 3 mnths. Our daughter is 14 weeks and wakes every hour through the night. We are looking at CC as we have tried just about everything else our Child & Youth support has suggested without success. Has anyone tried CC either win or lose with a 3-4 mnth old baby? Would love some feedback

[bambino]

We did CC with DS when he was 6 months old.
He used to be a great sleper until he hit 4 months. We perservered for 2 months before we got help.

I wish we would have done it sooner. CC worked a treat with us and DS. Yes it was hard but after just 4 nights he had it all down pat and everyone was happy and relaxed again.

We used the same technique as you mentioned Milk but we didn't pick DS up for cuddles. We just soothed him while he was still in his cot. Once he was settled and he stopped crying that's when we left the room. Yes the crying started again but liek you we continued with the 4, 7 or 10 minute intervals.

Don't beat yourself up over what people might say or think. Obviously it was the right choice and right time for you to choose this method.
No not everybody is for CC, but hey, they don't live with me and they didn't give birth to my child, so they can mind their own business.

It worked for us and it's working for you.
Good on you and good luck for continued success.

:thumbsup:

[Tam-I-Am]

I don't have any advice for you, but wanted to let you know that I've moved your post to a thread of its own - it will probably get more answers that way :)

[Snuffys Mum]

I started CC with my ds when he was younger than that and had great success with it.

A lot of people are quite opposed to CC especially before 6 months but all I can tell you is it worked for me.

[MilkOnTap]

Personally I feel that CC before 6 months is not right. There is a gentler form called controlled comforting that we have just began with our 4 and a half month old which is gentle and (apparantly) just as effective. Perhaps you could look into that instead?

[Cordelia]

I wouldn't even think of doing CC with a baby that young - heck, I think my 10 month old is too young!! Each to their own though :)

[Mrs Potts]

babylove, we did controlled comforting with DS when he was 6 weeks old (he's now a wonderful 6.5 yr old). This was with the support of MCH nurses at a day stay facility.

It involved a similar technique to "real" CC but is gentler for the tiny ones. You stay with bub patting or rocking in the cot until their cries subside. Then leave the room. We never let DS cry for more than 5 minutes. The intervals started at 2 minutes and went 3, 4 then 5 minutes. If at any point you think bub is more upset than "normal" pick them up and give them a cuddle, but the idea is to give bub a chance to put themselves to sleep. Contrary to popular belief not all bubs know how to do this and need to be taught.

We kind of started it with DD as soon as she came home from hospital. We weren't consicously CC'ing her, but putting her to bed and letting her cry for a couple of minutes in order to settle herself. She's now 14 months and a perfect sleeper and there's rarely any crying when she's put to bed.

Don't beat yourself up over other people's opinions. It is your baby and your life - you do what you feel is best for your family. Good luck.

[MyGuys]

With DS1 we had a really hard time and would totally comfort him to sleep, whether it be cuddling, rocking, feeding, walking etc until he reached about 14 months when I had been back at work for 8 months and could no longer handle this. We finally sought some help and found that we had almost instant results with CC and wondered then why we hadn't done it sooner.
This time we are older, wiser and not half as stressed as with DS1 and we started CC when DS2 was about 6 wks. He is 3 1/2 mths now and we still have moments with him but nothing compared to DS1.
I say each parent and baby is different and we all live in differing circumstances and you will just need to do what you feel is right for your little family.
Good luck and like everyone else says, don't worry about what others may think and just know you're doing whats right for you.

[allysophia]

Even the biggest advocates of CC (this is the popular authors, psychologists, and child workers--the people who primarily invented CC) are hugely against using it before 6months.

The general consensus is that it can very well be detrimental to the health of the baby before 6month. I urge you to read about this before undertaking CC.

3months is still a baby. And for 9months this baby has been nestled up in your womb, happy, content and comforted.

They are only this little for so long.. I promise you, it WILL get easier!

Good luck!

[Ange&Seth]

I thought we used CC with DS, but turns out we did Controlled Comforting. Text book controlled crying involves giving no comfort to the child at all, essentially giving the child the impression 'you're on your own kid, deal with it' which yes, IMO could very well be detrimental to the child.

However, controlled comforting is entirely different. It involves reassuring the child that if they need you, you're there. In this way, they learn that it's ok to put themselves off to sleep because they are safe in the knowledge that should they wake and need you, you'll be there for them.

We started this with DS when he was younger than 3 months and it worked an absolute treat. He has self settled from that age, will be 2 on Monday and still is a dream sleeper.

Bottom line, you need to do whatever you're comfortable with and what's best for you and your family.

Good luck.

[babylove1]

Thanks for the support. It all worked extremely well for us in the end. I found that many books referred to control crying when in fact it is a control comforting method they are suggesting.

We did this, reassured our baby every 5 mins, we certainly didn't leave her alone to cry it out on her own. I wouldn't advocate this either. We only had to do it on the first night and not for very long either, I think we have a quick learner.

She is now sleeping from 7pm through to 2am (with a rollover feed at 10) and then after her 2am feed through to 6.30am. She is a much happier baby for it, she plays better and is far more relaxed by day. The upside is we are also getting some better sleep.

[taliistheword]

can someone tell me hoe to do this and what to do please?

[forbetoel]

I didn't even know what CC was when I had my first baby, I am dead against baby and parenting books, they only hide your mother's instinct. Anyway as I was saying I didn't know what CC was but had been using it, as it was my natural way to parent. For me it was just about self settling, I done this while my babies were in hospital, I would feed them and then just put them in thier cot, and they would fall asleep. Babies are creatures of habit and I found that even by the time we got home from hospital 90% of the time my babies would go down without a fuss. I had a great experience with all of my babies.

[Nan]

So glad it worked for you babylove1. DH and I did CC with our daughter after only a few weeks and have reaped the benefits of sleep filled nights ever since!! I totally agree with Mrs. Potts. Your baby, your life, do what works for you. I read up on the so called POSSIBLE (they are yet to be proven) detrimental effects of CC early, but took the chance as I do not function without 8 hours of sleep minimum (no joke, I'm hopeless) and have a DD who slept through from 6 weeks of age. She is now very happy, healthy, smart, social, joyful funny! :thumbsup:

[greencaz]

I've read quite a bit about controlled crying and most research says it's not to be done on babies under 6months as it can be dangerous. crying is the only way a baby can communicate their needs to u and the reason most mothers find it so heartbreaking to leave their baby to cry is because this is the babies survival mechanism. And a babies cry releases certain hormones in the mother. which gives the mother the urge to comfort the baby. their are plenty of gentle sleep solutions which many people have great results with.
i say just do what feels right for u and your baby and trust your instincts.
i know not everyones situation is the same.
good luck, it really does get easier.

[summermummy]

i've done cc with both my girls and i've found it a god send. #1 we did it early like 3 months (comforting) and progressed when she slipped out of it into cc as she got older. #2 is far more defiant but i found her to eventually get the message though it took her HEAPS longer. she's 2 in a single bed and now like to get out of bed lots, in saying that though a girl from daycare looked after the girls on sat night and she said she didn't come out once and didn't even take a bottle to bed!!! think i'm being taken for a ride by a 2 year old!!!