What's harder?

[pebilz]

DH and I are thinking about having number 3. I found the transition from 1 to 2 kids really hard. My DS was quite a difficult little baby whereas my DD who was first was really easy. I don't know if DS was made harder though just because I also had a 19 month old to deal with.

I guess my question is - Which is harder - going from 1 to 2 kids OR 2 to 3 kids? For those that have more than 2 what has been your experience? My FIL says number 3 just fits in yet he was a dad in the 70's which to me means work, come home and play with kids on weekends. No real parenting required.

I'm scared & hesitant and I guess I don't want to miss out on having more kids because of the bad experience I had the first 6 months of DS's life.

Please tell me it's easier......but be honest if it's not. I know everyone has a different story but I'm sure there must be a trend???

Thanks :)

[Star81]

I have only just had my first child so I am no real help but my way of thinking would be that going from 2 to 3 would be easier as number 1 and 2 are able to entertain each other etc IYKWIM.

[Starlet]

Like you, my first two are 19 months apart.

I have just recently had baby #3. There is a 3 year gap between DS2 and DS3.

Going from 2 to 3 is MUCH easier. My older two can do alot for themselves(get fruit out of the fridge, get their own drinks, go to the toilet).

I found with the second one that DS1 was still soooooooooo dependant on me and it made it so much harder.

[punkbaby]

2 to 3 is a dream i say LOL 1 to 2 was hard as i guess you have to get used to dealing with two naturally when number 3 comes along you have done it all before and it doesnt seem too bad :)

[Bessie]

I found 2 to 3 harder.
I was older... I found it very hard to get rest when I was tired and pg as the older kids needed me. They also had school etc. so whenever I got a rest I had to get up and run around after them.
Some things like finances were easier and I had a lot of clothes and toys.
We didn't have any family support so the first few months were a shocker. I think it would have made a huge difference if there'd just have been someone else to have the older kids for a few hours.
My body didn't cope as well either, I had physio for nearly a year after as my back was done in and I had separation of my abdominal muscles.
On the other hand, the kids could do some things for themselves.... like doing up seat belts, getting their own drinks etc. but it was still hard.
Good luck x

[pebilz]

Thanks everyone. I think it's somewhat convincing me that I'll do better this time around. I spoke about it further with DH last night and he is really really really keen!!! :eek:

[forbetoel]

The 3rd is super easy. (and so was the 4th) The 2nd baby is the hardest because it is the only one that doubles your family in an instant. Also the 3rd was very enjoyable because of the change in dynamics, it was really nice seeing 3 kids interact with each other, instead of just the 2. I loved having my 3rd.

[kymmy]

I found having my third was hard. Having my first was the hardest. But I think the age gap is a big issue with and also with my second child having health problems its been a challenge. I must say having my second was the easiest transition. I was so ready and it just felt so perfect after he was born.