No sleep form a 3 week old

[g&cgad]

Hi all, while I am off at work my wife has serious problem getting a 3 week old boy to sleep, he does nothing but cry the whole time and is frustrating my wife, during the night he does not cry as much but still will not sleep long, two hours max at anytime. We have tried just about everything but the boy still wont go to sleep. If anyone has any ideas i would love to hear them. Thanks

[Niki]

my baby is 6wks and only sleeps about 2-3hrs at a time to so i think its pretty normal, sometimes about 8 i give him a bath to tire him out then he mite sleep for 4hrs instead...sorry i couldnt help

[aardvark]

It sounds pretty normal to me, too, and my bub #3 is 4 weeks.

[Goosie22]

I also agree, very normal. Its a good idea in the first months of the babies life to sleep or rest when they do. The ABA have a nice article explaining why babies wake so often hope it helps.
G:)
http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/wakeful.html

[Harmony83]

I can understand your wifes fustration, it is very exhausting with a newborn...Most new babies will only sleep a couple of hours at a time, because there tummies are so small, they need to be fed often, plus everything is so new to them, so he might just want to be close to his mum all the time, in which case a baby sling is excellent! The only way I used to be able to get my little boy to sleep would be to feed him to sleep, and during the day if I was exhausted, I would lie on the bed beside him and feed him off to sleep, then have a little kip myself! Or perhaps when your wife does get fustrated she could take the little one for a walk either in a pram or sling, I always found that relaxing and it usually sent bubs off to dreamland. I am not sure what would be causing him to cry alot during the day, maybe he is overtired, hungry, needs comfort/cuddles, or he could be picking up on your wifes stress. If you are concerned about his crying (and who wouldn't be!) it might be worthwhile taking him to the doctor/chn to see what they think, he may have bad wind, or a bit of reflux. I hope you figure it out soon, I know there is nothing worse then having an unsettled baby and not knowing what to do.

[SugarBlossom]

Yep - sounds normal!

I have a 7.5 month old who is still like that!:rolleyes:

[cosmic]

Hi, I don't have a baby yet but just yesterday was reading up on colic which led me to wondering how much your baby is crying. I think they tend to be awake a lot (as in every couple of hours) in those first few weeks but my understanding is that if a baby is crying for more than 3 hours a day consistently that is classed as a 'colicky' baby.

Again, there's not much that can be done about it because they don't really know what causes it, but it might be of some comfort to know it peaks at around 6 weeks and settles after about 12 weeks (I think).

As Harmony said, carrying them in a sling can be very comforting since they have spent 9mths being pressed up against mum listening to her heartbeat so it is very familiar and safe to them.

Here's a little info that might be useful.. whether or not you'd call it colic, some of the suggestions might help settle your bub. Good luck! :)

http://hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/Mosby_factsheets/infant_colic.html
http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/growing/colic.html

[g&cgad]

Thanks for the replies, we have already started giving him something to help with the colic, so we shall see how that goes, the slling seems to work with him occasionally. but we shall see.

[lovemybub]

You might like to have a look at a DVD called "The Happiest Baby on the Block". It's by an American paediatrician - check out the website at www.thehappiestbaby.com

I know you will probably think it's too good to be true when you look at the webpage, but a friend gave us this DVD and it is absolutely amazing.

Dr Karp talks about calming reflexes - he maintains that for the first three months babies are outside the womb, they are really still very underdeveloped compared to other mammals and so he likes to refer to their first three months as the 'fourth trimester'.

He demonstrates some very simple techniques, which trigger what he calls 'calming reflexes', which basically seek to recreate the sensations the baby felt in the womb. His theory is that much of the unsettledness from babies in these first few months is due to them missing the comfort and familiarity of the womb.

Some people talk about spoiling babies or making a rod for your own back by rocking babies and holding them too much etc, but Dr Karp points out that they have actually had these sensations 24/7 up until birth, and then they suddenly lose everything that was familiar to them. By trying to recreate some of these sensations for your new baby, you are actually just helping to make the transition more gradual, rather than spoiling them.

If you want more info, feel free to PM me. I think you can get the DVD/video at Babies Galore etc. I just don't want to bombard you with all the information if you're not interested.

All the best.

[Chickadee]

I remember having a 3 week old. It was exhausting, and mine didn't even cry much, she just wanted to feed every hour. Which I found out later was normal. And it does eventually pass. Bubs seem to go through changes in eatting and sleeping every 4 to 6 weeks, which can be frustrating cause when you think you've just figured out the whole parenting thing and what your bub needs, they go and change again :) But the phases only last a week or two and then things improve. Hang in there.

I think you've gotten some good advice here already. Feed bub when hungry even if that seems to be way too often, and encourage your wife to nap when bub does. Which means you need to be sure to help her out with cooking and cleaning when you're home in the evenings and on weekends. And give her lots of praise :D

[Tea Lady]

Which means you need to be sure to help her out with cooking and cleaning when you're home in the evenings and on weekends. And give her lots of praise

What great advice!! (Along with the other excellent ideas!) I found one of the hardest things about being a new mum was that you never get told you're doing well, and I don't know about others, but I never felt like I was doing very well, even though in hindsight i'm sure I was going fine. It's impossible for a husband / partner to overdo the help and praise I reckon and it sounds like you're a lovely concerned dad g&cgad so I'm sure you'll support your wife really well. :)

lovemybub I'd love to hear some of your magic tricks! :D

[Goosie22]

Me too Lovemybub(hear your magic tricks), Ive watch Dr Karp on Dr Phil and he sounds very helpful. I havn't read any of his books though would be nice to know what he is all about before forking out for the books.

[cosmic]

His theory is that much of the unsettledness from babies in these first few months is due to them missing the comfort and familiarity of the womb.

Some people talk about spoiling babies or making a rod for your own back by rocking babies and holding them too much etc, but Dr Karp points out that they have actually had these sensations 24/7 up until birth, and then they suddenly lose everything that was familiar to them.
That makes so much sense to me. I've never seen his DVD but I love his work already. :D

[runningmum]

Yes, as everyone has said this sounds fairly normal for a three week old. I remember being quite shocked, I had expected a baby who fed every three hours and slept in between times....like you read about in the books. Not quite! I found the baby would sleep better close to me too, I guess they have spent nine months feeling the comfort of another's body so it's no wonder they sleep best next to another body. I too fed mine to sleep in the day and slept beside her. In the mornings I would take her for a walk in the sling and she would sleep then too. I was still exhausted and crying at least one day a week when the baby was six weeks old, and this is normal too. It's such a huge change to your life, and you're exhuasted, even when the baby sleeps you're just thinking of all of the energy they will take up when they wake. Mid-way through the six week mark I heard about a child health nurse helpline (through Riverton Centre in QLD, sorry I'm not sure where you are) and I called them and they talked me through a feed-play-sleep routine which I found worked very well, but three weeks may be too young for that kind of thing. Having someone qualified to talk to and who gave ideas was wonderful. They talk you through tired signs, what to look out for to let you know the baby needs to sleep and how to help them get to sleep. I found I fed the baby to sleep for the first few weeks but I was too exhuasted after that.
Do you have the internet at home? Maybe your wife could browse this site while she's breastfeeding...it's nice to know it's the same for everyone when you're going through it, the baby is just establishing a great supply of breast milk and is thriving I'm sure. And don't worry, things will get much better and easier and the baby will sleep and your wife will rest and she'll love being a Mum and you'll love the way she mothers. At three weeks I didn't believe it when I was told things like that but it's true, it all settles down. Take care and let us know how you get on.

[lovemybub]

For those of you who expressed an interest, Dr Karp talks about the 5 S's:

Swaddling, side/stomach, shushing, swinging and sucking.

Swaddling itself doesn't usually calm a baby (many babies will actually struggle against it, leading some people to say 'my baby doesn't like being swaddled'), however being wrapped tightly does help to recreate the tight, secure feeling of the womb.

By side/stomach Dr Karp is referring to holding your baby in your arms, while wrapped in a 'reverse breastfeeding position'. ie on their side, facing away from you (this is where the DVD comes in handy!) Many babies will also respond to this better if they are rolled slightly towards their stomach rather than exactly on their side. It is amazing to watch these crying babies on the video just suddenly stop crying when he puts them in this position.

Shushing is exactly what it sounds like. When babies are in the womb, it is actually quite loud. They hear all the noises your internal organs are making, and it is sort of like the noise a vaccuum makes. The trick to the shushing is to make sure that your baby can hear it, so if they're crying, you may need to do it close to their ear, and loud enough that they hear it over their crying, so it's actually not a gentle sound and may feel harsh to you at first. I also find that doing it rhythmically helps with my bub. She will often stop crying suddenly and listen intently to the sound.

Swinging includes rocking and jiggling, but Dr Karp draws a distinction between these movements and actually shaking your baby, which is quite damaging. Swinging, rocking and jiggling are all gentle, fluid movements, but can be fast (up to a point) or slow without injuring your baby. Basically, what you're trying to do is recreate the moving sensations that bubs was feeling in the womb. One that is demonstrated on the DVD is lying bubs on your lap with their head resting on your hand, then making very small jigging movements backwards and forwards. If their head is supported, but not restricted, it will jiggle gently from side to side in response to your movement, and my bub finds this quite soothing. Again, this is one demonstration where the DVD really helps.

Finally, sucking is again a fairly obvious one. Dummies aren't called pacifiers in the states for nothing. I know there is a lot of talk about the pros and cons of using a dummy, and about babies developing habits and becoming dependent on them etc, but if your baby is a baby who likes to suck (and mine is) then there is nothing wrong with giving them a dummy. I have found that sometimes, during the day, bubs will lose her dummy and need me to replace it, but often she will just suck until she doesn't need it anymore, then the dummy falls out and she continues sleeping peacefully.

DISCLAIMERS
Please note, I am by no means qualified in this area. All I am doing is explaining to the best of my ability and experience what Dr Karp has spent years discovering and researching. I am not medically or otherwise qualified to recommend this to you other than in my personal (and I hasten to add, relatively short) experience as a mother.

If you are like me you will find that your bub will respond better to different techniques at different times, and sometimes will need only one or two of the techniques and sometimes will need all five at once. Also, as I have discovered recently, sometimes your bub just needs to cry out some frustration, so just hold them and love them and let them get it out of their system. You probably know yourself that sometimes you feel a lot better after a bit of a cry. So sometimes it might take a few minutes for bubs to calm down. It doesn't necessarily mean the techniques have 'lost their touch'.

Finally, your bubs may be crying because there is actually something that he/she is trying to tell you, eg they are hungry, want a change, or are actually in pain. Dr Karp's techniques are more for what's commonly referred to as 'colic'. Basically, the crying that babies do when all their apparent needs seem to have been met and there seems to be no obvious reason why they would be crying.

Sorry this has been so long, :ecomcity: but I hope it helps some of you out there. I haven't read the book, so I can't comment on how the content compares to the DVD, but I would encourage you to check one or both of them out, because I'm sure Dr Karp explains it much better than I have :D

[g&cgad]

My wife has taken bubs to the docotr and he says that he has heartburn caused by an immature stomach, I have not heard of this before, if anyone else has it would help ease the confusion. They hav eprovided us mylanta to give to him after he eats. so no wonder he is not a happy chappy.

[g&cgad]

Do you have the internet at home? Maybe your wife could browse this site while she's breastfeeding...it's nice to know it's the same for everyone when you're going through it, the baby is just establishing a great supply of breast milk and is thriving I'm sure.

She does not breast feed, we found that with her being a diabetic the milk just wasnt there and he got upset when he couldnt get what he needed to on doctors advise we have taken to bottle feeding which he seems to quite enjoy.

[Tea Lady]

Wow you guys have been having a rough time haven't you!! i'm glad to hear you've had a diagnosis that should give you some idea of how to help the little guy - I hope things improve soon!

Thanks lovemybub!! Your explanation was very good and sounded like fantastic advice :)

[Harmony83]

Is heartburn the same as reflux?? I can't remember! My DS had reflux when he was a bubs and he was put on Zantec, other tips are, if bubs is in a bassinette or cot put a phone book under the 2 front legs of it so as bubs is slightly raised IYKWIM. After bubs has had a feed try to keep him upright, either in a sling or perhaps a rocker, make sure you get all the wind out of bubba after a feed. There are other tips but I can't remember...

[Goosie22]

thanks lovemybub, I will investigate the book now it dosn't sound to bad.:thumbsup:

g&c glad why not look up some GERD info( gastroeosphogeal reflux disease) for some hints. There have been a few mothers discussing it lately.

[RileyAustin]

Hi there i so no how your wife feels i to have a baby thats awke all day and half the night all though he dosnt cry to much but grunts and groans a lot and i can hear and feel the wind in his tummy...maybe your baby has the same, i massage his tummy clockwise and drink nursing tea to help settle his digestive system, yours does sound like colic more than just normal wind, another thing is babies get really overtired if his movements are very jerky then he is overtired and its very hard to get an overtired baby to go to sleep more to the point to actually keep them asleep...once baby is rested he should be a bit better, plunket over here suggests that you get baby up from bed feed him, change him etc and have them up for no more than an hour at a time any more than that they get overtired, hope things come right for you soon, i also think sometimes babies get a bit knowing and no that if they cry they will get picked up..im slowly getting there with mine it does get better just keep thinking that...:smiliedance:

[kylie3]

hi there, i know how you feel. i constantly had problems getting my 6 month old to sleep. she was always crying and very hard to settle. i was put onto this cream by one of my girlfriends. its a sleepy cream and i would massage it into her skin and she would settle down and was much clamer and lot easier to get to sleep. the company is healing hippo.