View Full Version : sleepless mummy
Hi there, my name is Sarah. I have just become a mum to identical twin boys Brock and Kye who are five weeks old. If there is any one out there who can give me some ideas about how to coordinate twins to do things at the same time Eg. sleeping! that would be great. Feeling a bit clueless and frustrated, i welcome any advice.:hair:
:wave: Sarah. Congratulations on your twin boys. I have twin boys too - they turned 1 a week ago.
I only just remember the first few months and how hard it was at times. That's just it, you will look back and the sleepless nights, and testing times will be a distant memory (of course they'll be replaced by other different testing times lol).
In the beginning, I was really keen to get a system down pat for my boys to do everything at the same time including sleep. Sometimes it worked and other times I just went with what was happening at the time. I used the book "save our sleep" by tizzie hall and it helped me. There is a particular section on twins. Definitely try the settle, leave and re settle routines they do work and I do believe its really important a baby has to learn how to get off to sleep themselves and for some it takes more time than others. Keep at it though. Self settling is so important.
My boys still wake occasionally thru the night and I've had to leave them to get back to sleep on their own. It takes a while of crying, but eventually they've gone back to sleep and this helps them understand they can do it on their own. Otherwise they'd expect me to go in every time and would never settle back on their own.
I always make sure they're firmly tucked in before I go to bed too. You say your boys don't like being wrapped but I think this is important. Maybe try a muslin wrap if yr using bunny rugs because they're too firm or too hot.
The first 12 weeks are the toughest with any baby and having two is even more trying but they will grow, learn and develop their routines as you guide them through.
They will settle more and more as the weeks go by and so will you. Great to hear you have family support - it makes a big difference.
All the best with your little boys.
Hi Danielle, it sounds as though you have got your hands full too. I know its only early days, but i am worried that my boys are not getting enough sleep. The little buggers nap a fair bit during the day and are really alert at night. People have told me to try and keep them awake more during the day so they will sleep better at night. Ive tried that and it doesnt work. Every night when i put them to bed after a bath or a feed they sleep for a good two hours and then they wake up for another feed. i then try to settle them down again, but it is after this that they wont sleep. I end up taking both boys into the loungeroom and put them in their bassinetts. Then they might sleep for an hour at a time and then wake again constantly throughout the early hours of the morning and i have to sleep on the couch. i do this because i dont want them to wake my partner up because he has to get up early and works long hours. We have a strong relationship,but this is putting a strain on it. Am i letting them bully me? Should we try the controlled crying approach.?
Sarah sounds to me like you really need to get your hands on a copy of the book I mentioned - Save our Sleep. It helps with routines and even though I'm not that strict on them myself, I do believe it will help you and yr babies.
I think if you establish times they should be feeding, times they should be up, times they should be sleeping and so on, you will help establish their little patterns. Thats what I found the hardest and to be honest, it would have helped me with my 1st and 2nd babies.
They're still only so so little and a few sleepless nights is part of the journey. Be patient with them and yourself, things change so quick.
I don't have twins, but I hope you don't mind my input :o
Just a couple of things - at five weeks old keeping them up during the day will make them reallly overtired and that's going to make your job so much harder at night. At their age any thing longer than an hour awake and they're going to get wired - they'll LOOK like they're wide awake but they're really overtired and need to sleep.
Try putting them down for their first nap of the day about 1-1.5 hours after they first wake in the morning and follow that pattern all day (should mean they have about 3 day sleeps which is normal for their age). Get them down at night around 6 if you can.
You mentioned they're sleeping in bassinets - the other thing I wondered is if they might do better sleeping together. Either in a cot or just in your bed? They might settle better being able to touch eachother, hear eachother breathing etc.
I take my hat off to you, I remember all too well how hard it is with a newborn and having to juggle two of them must be really, really hard. I hope things get easier for you soon. :hugs:
Congratulations on the birth of Brock and Kye. When I was pregnant with Ben and Matthew, another twin mum said to me that due to them being identical it will be easier to put them into the same routine. At the time I didn't understand what she meant. I do now.
From day 1 I tandem fed them and put them to sleep at the same time. ie they always feed and sleep together(except if they are sick).
Sleep promotes sleep so like Emmylou said they are probably overtired and therefore can't sleep.
Are they breast or bottle fed and how often?
If you want to pm me you can and I'm more than happy to help.
Good luck and it is hard but it's starting to get easier now.
Hi, congratulations first of all.
It's been nearly 4 years since my girls were newborn. I used to always put them to bed at the same time. If one woke up for a feed I would wake the other one straight away too. That way they would both be ready to go back to sleep at the same time. I had mine in bassinette's at first and if one was unsettled and crying I would put her in the other bassinette with her twin. Even if her twin was asleep. She would always quickly calm down and go to sleep and they would snuggle into each other. It was so cute.
A Party of Five
So happy to see that the other Mum's have some great advice for you Sarah, hope things are setting down for you now :hugs:
I really feel for you. Those first few months are really hard and the sleep deprivation is torture. My girls were terrible sleepers (still are but you don't want to here that!). I ended up going to Riverton (QLD sleep school) when the girls were 7 weeks as I wasn't coping and didn't know why they wouldn't settle and the sleep deprivation was getting me down.
They do not recommend controlled crying until your bubs are 6mths. I don't really have any advice for you as I am still struggling with getting my 2 to sleep through and they are 19mths.
I would recommend getting them into a routine (ie. feeding together even if that means waking the other bub and putting them down together). Do your twins have dummies? If not it might be worth trying. My girls also spent most of their first few months in swings.
Do you have anyone other than your DH to help you out? I really hope things improve for you soon. I know how much it can put a strain on the relationship - my DH spends alot of nights in the spare room so he can get a good nights sleep.
Good luck and take care.
Hello I'm Kim mum to 6 month old b/g twins.I remember the first 4-6 weeks being a nightmare getting mine to sleep.When they were about 6 weeks old I decided this had to change.
I found an article which had sounds to listen for with babies and it really works.
NEH - hunger(feed me)
OWH -sleepy or tired (comfort me and help me to fall alsleep)
EH-upper wind (burp me)
EAIRH-lower wind (massage me to remove air bubbles)
HEH -uncomfortable (check my nappy or change my position)
Make a copy of this list and have it somewhere handy to refer to.It takes the guest work out of what can be wrong with your babies,When you are tried it is easy to misunderstand what they want.Once listen out for these sounds you will be able to notice the difference and respond accordingly.Then it is easier to get your babies into a routine for sleep ,feeding etc.It worked for me and my twins have been started sleeping about 6-7 hours from 2 1/2 months they now sleep about 11 hours straight.My ten year old didn't but I didn't have the list then.If you have any questions please ask me .Good luck.
Hi Kim. :wave: Thanks for your message. Sorry it took awhile for me to reply as i havent had much chance to get on the computer lately. Your advice about the different baby sounds was genius.:thumbsup: In the beginning i was having alot of trouble trying to work out what my babies wanted and i never thought i'd get the instinct about how to act at a particular time. As the weeks progress though,i think i'm becoming more confident so everything feels a little easier. Dont get me wrong i still have days when i dont have a clue.:confused: If all else fails i give them lots of cuddles or a nice warm bath -they love it. The boys are starting to get a nice routine going and they are sleeping better. I only have to get up twice during the night to feed them (one of those times to change nappies). They are getting about 3-4hr blocks of sleep which is a big improvement. It also means i can sleep next to my husband again.:kiss: I got into bed the other night and he says " Who is this strange woman in my bed?" it has been difficult for him too because so much of my time and energy is spent on the babies. Good luck with your twins!:fingerscrossed:
Glad the advice helped.It all does settle down its good they are sleeping longer at night.Soon they will sleep thru and you won't know yourself.Sleeping is the best!:) My 2 are now sleeping about 12 hours straight.I have started to stay up later to have me time and time with my hubby.Hope everything keeps going well and look forward to hearing more about your bubs.
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