I dont know what to do!!!

[mandiii20]

Hi. My name is Mandie. I am 22, 23 in January next year. I am new to this forum and came here to hopefully get some help...

Last August I had an abortion, it would have to have been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I wanted to keep it, my BF thought otherwise. My BF and I had only been going out for 4 months, I was in a job where my contract was going to end and my BF was in a dead end job with no prospects of going further. I was in debt. I knew I would not be able to give the baby the life it deserved. So I can understand why my BF didnt want to keep the baby, but it still hurts and I do regret it. I was on the pill but had a wild night out and threw up so much the next morning that I couldnt stop. I had to go the doctors and have a needle in the bum to stop me from vomiting. That is what the doctor told me interfered with the pill and caused me to become pregnant.

However, I now have a feeling I am pregnant again...(although I dont know how it could be possible because once again I am on the pill). My period is due in less than 2 weeks, my breast are tender and larger (although I have tension in my abdomen). My BF and I have been going out for 1yr 8 mths (so alot longer then when I first fell pregnant). He is now in a great job (an electrical engineers apprenticeship) and I am also now in a great job, they are paying for me to do a course through Uni. We still live at home and probably cannot afford to move out as yet.

If I am pregnant, I dont know what I am going to do...I really dont think that I could put myself through the pain I went through before with my last abortion. I am still in a bit of debt, how can I afford a baby. My BF and I talked about if I ever fell pregnant again he wouldnt make me have an abortion, but I bet once I tell him I am pregnant again he might change his mind!!

Help! What should I do?? :confused:

[the_queen]

oh honey :hugs: First of all, just relax and don't stress too much just yet. Have a nice warm bath, eat some chocolate, watch something funny that will make you laugh out loud. There isn't much you can do for a couple of weeks until you know for sure if you're pregnant or not.

There's never a "perfect" time to have a baby. You're still in a bit of debt? Heh, so are most of us. You'll cope. You'll get by somehow. It'll all work out. :hugs:

And don't underestimate your boyfriend - try not to assume what you think he'll probably say... Just take him on his word. :hugs:

[ShadyCharacter]

When you say 'less than two weeks', can you be more specific? :confused: If your periods were due in two weeks you would only just be conceiving now, so probably not showing any symptoms? :no:

[happyone2]

Big hugs to you :hugs: :hugs:

I know it must have been hard to go through what you have. I don't pretend to understand but can only suggest that you not worry until you know for sure if you are pregnant.

Also remember that if you are pregnant and choose to keep the baby that although difficult, there are organisations to help with setting you up with baby things if you can't afford to. Also the most important thing is that a baby has you to love and support it all the rest is just material things. I personally have seen children in poor villages in india who are very happy :yes: simply because they have people who love them.

Good luck

[mandiii20]

Thank you, I might just do that. I am probably worrying too much! But I can't help it. Yes. Still in a bit of debt, but I am getting there, slowly....

Well it is realy bizarre as my period is due in 11 days. The only other time I have had breast this sore was when I was pregnant last year around the same time in cyce too. That is the main reason why I thought I might be pregnant...I have also been sick this past month with a virus too.

I guess just cross my fingers and see in 11 days... I just hate waiting so long. I am just so scared because I dont want to have to go through what I did before! My parents will probably tell me I am stupid and careles.

[the_queen]

You're an adult - forget about what your parents might say. And listen... if they would say that to their daughter, then obviously they're cold and heartless and not worth worrying about :hugs:

There isn't much you can do just yet, so just relax for the next couple of weeks and wait to see what's happening. :hugs:

[SassyMummy]

I haven't had an abortion, but I have had a baby in less than desirable circumstances, so I can let you know how it's been for me. My daughter is now 2.

I fell pregnant at 18, and had only been with my partner for 4 months. He wasn't happy, and I know he would have been much happier if I had an abortion. However, that was not something I was willing to do. Back then, I was truly anti-abortion (I'm now pro-choice...I was very naive back then).

I had a LOT of help from my mother. I lived with her, as I couldn't afford to leave. My partner was living elsewhere too... we couldn't afford to move out together.

I had a job when I fell pregnant, but lost it not long after (a combination of them giving me less and less shifts, and me hating it more and more). It wasn't a stable job though... just a casual retail job. My partner was working part-time as a kitchenhand and was doing uni part-time.

In the end, he quit uni, and ended up taking up an apprenticeship at the restaurant he was working at. He's still there now, in his 3rd year. He works VERY VERY long hours, but gets very little pay. He gets about $500 a week, and I get about $550 a fortnight (including rent assistance) from Centrelink, as I don't work. We have about $750 a week to live off...which is really next to nothing.

Still, we manage. We have foxtel (Platinum Package), we live close to the city in a tiny 2-bedroom unit (for $240 a week) and DP just bought himself a Playstation 3. So you can see that while, week to week, we're not well-off, we do manage, and manage well enough to afford a few luxuries.

I've only moved out with my partner recently though... I spent 2 years of my daughters life living with my mother... at some point DP moved in with us too... but a lot of the time there I spent as, technically, a "single parent."

It really is do-able. I've done it, and am happy. It's obviously not ideal, but I don't know how long I would have waited before "ideal" happened.

It put terrible strain on our relationship, but we have pulled through. Things are actually REALLY good now... even though we still argue and disagree, it's really really good.

In my experience, a baby costs as much as you make it cost. There's an initial start-up cost (for things like cot/clothes/etc)... but they otherwise don't cost THAT much. The seem to cost more the older they get... but a newborn costs hardly a thing. You can buy a big lot of Modern Cloth Nappies (look like disposables, but aren't... not talking about the flat nappies you fold up) which will reduce your week-to-week costs of nappy buying, and you can breastfeed which definitely reduces costs. I spent $40 a week on formula and $40 a week on nappies when DD was a newborn... if I had used cloth and breastfed, I could have saved $80 a week. That's a lot of money, so it's definitely worth thinking about.

A cot can last 2 years... my daughter only just came out of hers at 26 months. She had 5 sets of sheets and many many blankets (a lot of which I got as gifts).

Clothes only cost as much as you want to spend - DD lived in jumpsuits as a newborn... just cheapies from best and less. There's no need to be fancy with a newborn when they're just at home... it's cheaper and easier to deal with a jumpsuit than a cute outfit.

When it comes time to introduce solids, making your own out of vegetables and a food processor can save you HEAPS of money.

So basically, you can do things on the cheap, and still guarantee quality. Actually, a lot of the "cheaper" options for baby are also the healthier options (breastfeeding, home-made food etc), so it's a double-bonus.

Again, I dunno what you should choose, but figured I'd share with you how I survive. If you have any more questions, I'd be happy to answer.

[Yummy Mummy of 5]

Here are some big hugs for you Mandie :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Good luck :wizard:

[mandiii20]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts, hugs and support. It has helped. I will let you know what happens. :fingerscrossed: Hopefully everything is ok.

:hugs:

[mandiii20]

Well...., further to the above, my periods are usually without fail a 31 day cycle. Last cycle it was 28. If I go by the 31 day cycle my periods are due next Tuesday/Wednesday. So in 7 days. I done an early test which had a very faint :bfp: . My boobs dont hurt as much as they used to. They stopped hurting yesterday but are a bit sore today. Do i take it as a :bfp: or a :bfn: . I can definately see a second line, its just whether its too light or not i dont know. If it was :bfn: i have heard that sometimes after a few hours you can see a second line anyway which is still classed as a :bfn: . I am just really worried. I am trying not to get too scared. I should probably just wait another few days and do another test and see what that shows, but I cant stand not knowing and its scaring me!!! HELP??!??! :confused:

[floggadog]

the tests are designed for the result to be viewd at 5 or so minutes. Basically after 10 minutes if the reading changes it becomes false.
So if you had 2 lines in the first 5 minutes I'd say you're preggers.
If ou don't beleive it, do another tomorrow morning or go to the doc.
Hope you get the result you want.

[SassyMummy]

I would wait... and then test again. If you're still confused, maybe try another brand or go to the doctors and get a blood test.

You may find you get your period before then anyway... but yeah, that's my advice.

Good luck.

[mum2derekandmia]

lite or dark 2 lines are positive. My first pregnancy test i did for my DS showed 1 dark line and 1 faint line if you check the side of the box or instructions it will probably say so.
We too were not in the most ideal position to care for a baby when I fell pregnant with my first and i had just turned 20. If this time you really want this baby you should keep it and you WILL find a way to make it work, just have faith in your self. You should take what your BF say as his word, have you considered how the last termination affected him? He may want this baby just as much as you. While ideally we would all like to be finiancially stable when we have a baby, unfortunatly thats not always the case. You get by. The most expensive items you can layby. There is always the trading post or ebay for other large items ie pram, cot, change table etc. The only thing you should buy new is the carseat and they are a little as $100 on sale these days and although it won't last forever with carefull planning you could probably strech the baby bonus a little further if you need it. I'm sure your parents will be supportive of you after all its their grandchild. Good Luck with what ever decision you make!

[*Chels*]

:wave: Hi
I can understand the position you are in.I found out I was pg just before my 21st,and had only been with my BF for about 4 months.Altho I never doubted he would be there for me(he was against abortion)and I would have heaps of support,I still struggled with the concept of having a baby.
That was a HUGE year for us-my 21st,we got engaged,moved in together and started saving to move to OZ(we are from NZ)
We survived it-3 years later we are living on the coast,married with a gorgeous 2 yr old.
It worked out for us.Money is always an issue for anyone.We arent rich but we are comfortable.It doesnt even matter about money,alll babies need is milk,clothes and cuddles:yes:
I wish you all the best.Many,many times I wondered if I was gonna be OK-but you know what?It all works out:hugs:

[mandiii20]

That's great to hear about stories such as yours as it gives me hope :yes:

I went to the doctor today to get a blood test as I took another test this morning and it was darker than yesterdays. Still faint :bfp: but a line there nonetheless. I will find out the result this afternoon or early tomorrow morning. I know it shoulds bad but :fingerscrossed: its all ok.... I just dont know how i am going to tell my bf i am if i am in fact pregnant.

[floggadog]

Tell him now, get it over with.
Let him have time to absorb the news & if it is negative you can both be relieved (or not) together.
This isn't your fault, infact it isn't a fault at all, so don't feel guilty.
You're with this guy so you can share your life with him... so - share.

[Ethereal]

These people may be able to give you some advice.www.pregnancyassistance.org.au/Post (http://www.pregnancyassistance.org.au/Post)

[Myztik]

Just wanted to say good luck and I hope you get the result you want :hugs:

My circumstances when I found out I was pregnant with ds1 were terrible, abusive relationship, no money (the ex spent it all on drugs etc) and by the time he was 8weeks old nowhere to live.. I pulled myself out of that life and never looked back. My ds1 is now a happy healthy almost 6yr old.. When you h ave a child you just automatically do whatever it takes to give them what they need.

[daisy4300]

Hey

If you've had 2 positives than it sounds as if you are pregnant darl. I've tested early with mine in the past and had faint lines but whenever there was a faint line whether it was 5, 10 or 15 mins later, I was pregnant. The home tests are more sensitive than a lot of people realise I think. Don't stress about it darl as many have said before, most of us have debt and most of us aren't living the high life. I'm preggers with number 4 and we survive on one income, hubby gets about $300-$400 a week after rent has been taken out and I only get the FTB which isn't much a fortnight when you have 3 kiddies, lol. If you really want to have this baby then everything else will fall into place. Good luck with things and we are all here to help anytime you need a chat.

[mandiii20]

Well, my doctor rang me last night with my BT results and it is a :bfp:. Only very early, 3 weeks. Due in June 08.

I went home and told my DP and he was surprisingly calm about it all (compared to how he reacted last time). He told me that he will be here for me no matter what I decide and wont force me to do anything I dont want to do. However I cant help feeling that if I decide to keep the baby that he will change his mind.

I think I am leaning more towards having the baby, but can't be too sure yet. It is only very early in the pregnancy. So I have a little time to decide.

Just thought I would update you all with the result. Thanks for everything.

[Ffrenchstar]

Well, congratulations:hugs: I am glad your BF has decided to be supportive....remember though, no matter what he decides to do, you will be ok, you really will:hugs:

[Jeclipse]

Congratulations hun:hugs: I hope u make the right choice by you.. and do what u feel is right:yes:

Im glad ur BF is being supportive with whatever decision u make:)

[DivinelySophistimicated]

YAY!! I wish i got a BFP :(

Good luck with your decision and I hope DP will stick with you :)

[daisy4300]

Thanks for updating us darl and you will be fine no matter what you choose to do. We're all here for you.

[Acacia]

Hi, i just stumbled on your post today. Im also from newcastle and just turned 23.

I had a termination 3 years ago because of my situation in life and my bf at the time wanted me too. I have always felt guilty about it, so when i fell pregnant last year i knew i couldn't do it again.

It is hard at times, but not impossible. I suggest that each week you buy something for the baby to reduce the financial burdon. It was hard for me on centrelink to cover the things i needed, but i found that a lot of people are willing to give you their old bub stuff and i bought everything second hand.

I use cloth nappies, wash them with normal detergent and dont soak so their isnt a lot of expense therre. I also breastfeed and co sleep so that knocked out a bit of expense too. Clothes from vinnies are very cheap and you can find bulk lots on ebay and other trading places. I also have lots of clothes that dont fit tom that you can use.

If you decide to keep this bub, there is a lot of support out there. Newcastle has lots of services too. Even if you dont decide to keep bub their is support too.

Dont be bullied by anyone to do anything you dont want. :hugs:

[EsSjAy]

Well, my doctor rang me last night with my BT results and it is a :bfp:. Only very early, 3 weeks. Due in June 08.

I went home and told my DP and he was surprisingly calm about it all (compared to how he reacted last time). He told me that he will be here for me no matter what I decide and wont force me to do anything I dont want to do. However I cant help feeling that if I decide to keep the baby that he will change his mind.

I think I am leaning more towards having the baby, but can't be too sure yet. It is only very early in the pregnancy. So I have a little time to decide.

Just thought I would update you all with the result. Thanks for everything.

If that's what he said hun then trust him that he means it... Have a heart to heart and tell him what your feeling... He is probably having the same emotions to.
As you said... You have time to make a decision that is right for you...
All i can say is :hugs: to you and take care x x

[mandiii20]

My main concern is money! I am in a good job which brings in good money. my DP is in a good job but is only a first year apprentice, bringing in a measley $300 per week!! He will get a rise next April, but it wont be much at all, maybe $50.00 after tax! My loan is $160.00. We are living at home. I have no idea how we can afford to move out and pay for my loan and rent and a baby. I will be off work for a while. If I knew I could financially support a baby I would without a doubt go ahead with this pregnancy. But as I have said before I dont think I could have another abortion. I am still grieving over the last. :crying:

[floggadog]

You'll be eligble for family tax A & B & you may even be eligble for
Parenting payment. You might even get a health care card. Don't know about rent assistance.
Payment amounts are on the centrelink website.
Also you could join freecycle which is a yahoo group. This is where you can give away & post 'wanted' adds for things. You'd be amazed what people have sitting around that they're willing to give away.
Thrift shops are a goldmine of fantastic baby clothes as well.
It's all do-able. The hard bit would be before bub comes & you're not working but as Acacia said - start buying things every week now & by the time bub comes you won't end up with a huge bill, it'll become part of your normal shop.

[OopsieDaisy]

You can do it, I'm sure.
I think from reading your posts that you really want to have this baby :yes:
I had my first daughter at a mere age of 15, just.
I had no support from the babys father/family, I had not a single cent to my name, I was still in school, no job etc.
Find yourself a good supportive network (friends, family, dr, social worker) and all the best.

[daisy4300]

Hey

Yeh it's def doable if thats what you want.

I have heaps of baby clothes, girl or boy and if you decide to keep the baby, I am happy to post them to you. I'm due for my little fella in feb so he will be out of everything by June. No doubt I will have toys, blankies, all kinds of things I could send that would help out. This is number 4 for us and I don't plan on having anymore.

Don't forget you get the baby bonus when bub comes too which will help out with bigger furniture things for bub if thats what you want. You can do without most of them but say a cot or bassinet, things like that. If bub is due June then you would get about $4000. It would help with initial costs and then there are all the other money saving ideas for cutting costs.

Don't feel pressured either way. Know that if you choose to have this baby or not then there is support and help there.

[mandiii20]

Thank you everyone for your offers of support and clothes etc. You are all too sweet!! :hugs: I dont know what I would be doing right now if I didnt have you girls!!

Three Sweet Peas - I think you are right. Subconsciously I know I want this baby. It is just so scary right now.

Kirbyd87 - I hope you get your BFP soon!!!!:hugs:

So floggadog, is it something that I go to Centrelink with now and tell them I am having a baby, how can they help?? Sorry, but I have no idea about Centrelink I have never received anything from them or had any contact with them at all, I dont know how to go about ANYTHING! I am hopeless :yes:

Congrats Daisy4300 - February, not long to go - excited I bet :D

[OopsieDaisy]

I'd really reccomend you visit your gp and express your worries, he/she will point you in the right direction:hugs:

Keep us posted!!

[daisy4300]

With centrelink just go in and talk to them about what payments your eligible for now, once you've stopped working and once bub comes. Family tax benefit and parenting payment you won't be eligible for until bub comes but there are other payments you would qualify for now probably depending on circumstances and definately once you stop working. The amounts you would get also vary depending on your individual situation. Usually right after you have bub whether its in a hospital or through homebirth with a midwife, they give you all the forms you need to fill out for centrelink to apply for both FTB and PP. Best thing now to do is go in and have a chat to them at centrelink.

[SassyMummy]

You might entitled to a small payment now if you're not working/only work part-time... but I wouldn't count on getting too much until you've had your baby. I got next to nothing until my daughter was actually born.

You'll get the Baby Bonus, which I'm sure will help. If you're not working (after the baby is born), you SHOULD be entitled to Parenting Payment (Single or Partnered, depending on if you are living with your partner or not - this includes him spending a lot of overnight visits to your place...), and Family Tax Part A and Part B... and Rent Assistance.

If you're technically single, you'll receive a pension card (which allows cheap movie tickets, train fares and prescription medicine for you and bub), and if you're coupled you'll get a health care card (meaning cheap medicine for you, bub and your bf).

If you breastfeed, it's free - so no extra costs there. If you choose to use MCNs (Modern Cloth Nappies - not terry flats... they look just like disposables but aren't), you'll get a few hundred dollars of upfront costs and then not much after that...

Babies don't eat much/cost that much money (providing they are well and healthy) before 12 months in my experience... just clothes and food really, and that can be as cheap or as expensive as you want it to be...

There's ways to cut costs for sure...

[lilpearl]

All the best, it'll all work out. You will be eligable for payments from centrelink.....sounds like you will be able to get parenting payments, as your partner is on a very low income....but if you make an appointment with the family assistance office, they will be able to go through it all with you. You will not get anything until after the baby is born though. There is also the maternity payment, too, which you may even decide to pay your loan off with? It's $5000 now, I think. You get that within a couple of weeks of the babies birth, usually. All the best! :)

[poshBecks]

Hi there :wave: Firsty welcome to bubhub:)

I just wanted to say congratulations on your BFP and I know you will be ok! :hugs: Try not to let the finacial stuff freak you out... It will all sort itself out when bub arrives!!!

You CAN do this :yes: :D :hugs:

[daisy4300]

The baby bonus doesn't go up to $5000 till July 1st 2008 so if bub is due June then it will be $4000.

You could also go and check out the centrelink website for info and yeh there is always rent assistance as well and there are advances you can apply for when on certain payments, like a once off every year. FTB you can apply for an advance every 6 mths and that depends on how much you receive and for PP (single) up to $500 once a year then you just repay it back out of your payments at whatever suits you. There is plenty of financial assistance out there.

And I agree with SassyMummy, I found that my babies never cost that much in the first 12 mths either. I breastfed all of mine and the most expensive thing I found was using disposables but as others have mentioned there are other options and there are cheaper brands now just as good as huggies.

[Mrs J]

I am also in newcastle and would also be willing to help out, i am having my 2nd in feb and its our last so anything i can help you with just ask, i have loads of things. PM me if you would like to have a chat. When we had our first DH was sacked a month before i had the baby and months after he couldn't get another job we lived off centrelink on next to nothing had to pay our car debt which was 100 a week which was 200 a fortnight, we got rent assistance, Parenting Payment, Tax Benifit, he got newstart and we had health care card which saves alot on drs and medicine, its do able alot of us have done it, don't feel abortion is your only option if you want to keep this baby keep it, everything always works out in the end there is plenty of help out there for you..

[Eternity]

Mandi- Congratulations on your baby! Im so glad that your partner was calm about it all this time, Money is nothing it will work its self out it really will. Centrelink can calculate what you will get once the baby is born based on you and your partners income thats what they are there for and dont forget you will get $4000 payment baby bonus

[missmaisy]

hi there, just wanted to let you know, that when you put your mind to it, you can make it work when it comes to money.For my My husband complete his wall and floor tiling apprenticeship, we had to up and move to the coast with two kids, and had another one while we were there, and somehow, we got by! He was only bringing home $340 to start with, and centrelink has come a long way in the past few years!My husband used to work some weekends for extra cash too, can your partner do that at all?Does he, or will he share the load finacially? And a good tip has already been given, but buying things in your weekly grocery shop REALLY helps!When i found out i was pregnant, i would spend $10 a week on baby stuff ay the supermarket.When my first was born, i already had about 20 packs of wipes,shampoo, lotions,nappies, and basically didn't need any of that stuff for a good few months!Now i'm not trying to sway you either way,because in the end, you are the one that has to decide, but a bit of clever thinking now could really make your money go further and life a bit easier later on.And, what trade is your partner in? Some bosses can really help out a lot.Like take out a small amount of his pay each week, as a payment later on or something?Anyway, i hope you can work out what is right for you both.

[mandiii20]

Missmaisy - My partner is going to be an radio and communications technician. Will be very good money when he finishes his apprenticeship. He is in his second year next April, so that will be a little more money,not much but I guess every little bit will help.

I have no idea what I need! LOL. I have no idea. How embarrassing! Obviously clothes, cott, change table, car seat, etc. But the little things I just dont know.

It is definatley making it so easy to handle knowing my partner is being so calm about it all.

I will definately take everyones advice and start buying a few things each week. However, I will have to hide it or a while because I am not telling my parents until I am 12 weeks! Last time I felt like they were pressuring me into having an abortion (they werent, but thats how they made me feel). At least if I tell them at 12 weeks it will be too late by then!! :yes:

[SassyMummy]

You might find you don't even look too pregnant at 12 weeks... I know I didn't (I just looked bloated/fatter).

You really don't need that much, depending on what you want to do.

The things I found invaluable:

Cot and mattress: with at least 2 mattress protectors, about 4 or more sets of sheets and blankets. Quilts/Doonas aren't recommended and neither are pillows due to sids risks. You can get these cheap at Target or whatever (just look for a sale) or 2nd hand even. I got my cot and change-table from Target... they look fine and word fine.

Change Table with padded change mat (mine is plastic-coated for easy wipe down). I also found it's good if they have shelves so you can use it for storage... ours has 4 pink canvas boxes on it (from Target) so I could store nappies and stuff in them.

Pram and possibly a sling/carrier. Keep in mind that Baby Bjorns are potentially damaging to a babys spine, but there are plenty of place that sell other decent carriers (particularly online). I never wanted a carrier, but bought one because DD always wanted to be held... and it freed my arms (and took the weight off of them and put it onto my body - much more comfortable).

A rocker. You can go as cheap or as expensive as you like really...

Carseat. Also keep in mind that a lot of places hire out capsules. I hired a capsule for 6 months from the Qld Ambulance. They installed it, and it cost me $60 for the full 6 months. Well worth it.

Breastpads, Maternity Bras and a Breast pump. I used disposable pads, but they cost a fortune considering how many I was going through. Washable ones might be much cheaper (and possibly more comfortable too... my nipples were very sensitive). Maternity Bras are used during pregnancy as well. Underwire isn't a good idea. Breastpump is essential IMO - I didn't get one, and then when my milk came in, my poor boobs were so sore I sent my mother to the late night chemist to get me one. ESSENTIAL.

Baby Clothing - of course. But keep in mind that skirts and dresses often end up around the waist of baby girls. Cheap jumpsuits, IMO, are the easiest to deal with, and are best for around the home for sure. They just spew/poo/sleep in them all day, there's no reason to get fancy at home. A few cute outfits are nice to wear out... but make sure they're nice and soft and comfy.

Socks - LOTS OF SOCKS. They seem to get lost so easily.

Nappies. If you're going disposable, be warned that they are quite expensive. I was spending $40 a week for newborn DD. Don't stock up too much on newborn size either, because they could grow out of them fairly soon after birth. Just maybe 2 packs would be enough to start with then see how you go...
If you want to be thrifty, consider MCNs. There's a section dedicated to them here at BH. They're much than nappy origami (like our mothers would have done). Also need wipes (cloth or disposable) and nappy rash creams. Be warned baby powder poses a SIDS risk.

Health and Bath Equipment: Thermometer, bandaids, antiseptic cream... just a basic kit (make sure it's infant friendly). Sunscreen isn't recommended for babies under 6 months, even baby sunscreen. Get a few hats though. A shade (maybe a muslin wrap) to put over the front of the pram for shade (unless your pram comes with a shadecloth part of course!). Bath. Some people don't use shampoo or gels. There's no need to... but you can if you want. Get suggestions here at BH for good ones.

That's all I can think of for now... but hope it helps. I'm sure others can add to it...

[~Alicia]

God you're fantastic Stace :thumbsup:

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: Mandi, things will work out :yes:

[angieandextra]

hi mandi i know exactly how you feel, i was in a similar situation when i was younger i had an abortion because my boyfriends parents didnt want us to have a baby so young. for years it was one of my biggest regrets, i told myself i would never have an abortion ever again. anyway after a few years that relationship ended for the better. after a few years i met a guy we would have only been together a couple of weeks when we fell pregnant, because it was a new relationship i didnt know what this guy would do or how he would react, but he was fine but after about 6-8 week i miscarried, this took me a long time to get over, then the next year i feel pregnant again, after 9 week i had another miscarriage, but these times when i fell pregnant i was on the pill and we were using condoms, so i dont trust contraceptives that much. i started to think did having an abortion when i was younger stuff up things so i cant have a baby in the future. but im now with the same guy still and we are married and now 5 to 6 weeks pregnant, we are not in the best financial situation, but i have been told the first few years of a baby's life are the cheapest. with this time it was different to beacuse my last period was in october last year im very irregular. but i knew when i was ovuating, a week before i knew i would be getting my period, my boobs started to hurt and everytime i had a glass of milk i could only have a couple os sips because i thought it smelt like mushrooms, i knew something was up. a couple of days later i got a pregnancy test i did it and a faint line appeared. i went to the doctors and had it confirmed. so at the moment im taking things really easy, espically over the weekend i noticed some light brown discharge, i went straight to the doctors but he said everything is fine. i hope if you want to be pregnant you are. deep down i think it is the baby that chooses us. i also believe everything happens for a reason, so if you are pregnant, its meant to be. i wish you the best of luck. dont listen to anyone if they have anything negative to say because if they do it is really about their own insecurities and issues. just relax and let me know how you go. i also think that when you are pregnant you just know, its the maternal instinct. take care love. from angie

[daisy4300]

Hey

That all was very overwhelming for me lol and i'm on bub number 4. Great list though.

I have found that if you just get the basics and start from there, the things u know u will def need so it doesn't seem like a huge mission for you. Things like the cot and pram are always a good idea but you don't necessarily need a change table or a rocker. They are more if u want. The change table is a god send on your back though but i havent had a change table for my last 2 bubs and have managed fine. You can change them on your bed or a table. It's all about being flexible especially when trying to cut costs. Other things that are handy are things like pawpaw ointment for your breasts if there cracked but things like that you can get as needed. And some breast pumps can be expensive so if u find you can't afford it then you can always manually express in the shower but they do make life that little bit easier if you can get one. Even things like a baby bath you can live without if you want. My last 2 bubs i just showered with me and had there stuff ready for when we got out and then when they got bigger they just sat in the bathtub.

If you ever get to the point where it's getting to overwhelming because it feels like it's all going to cost too much because your worried theres too much to buy, just think about how else you could do it. Just because they sell baby stuff doesn't mean you need it all. Most can be lived without and are just a luxury or they can make things a bit easier on you which in some cases is good, lol. It's all up to you hun with what you want.

And remember there are a few of us on here that have offered things too which will save you money as well. :D

[mandiii20]

OMG SassyMummy - you are an angel! :hugs: LOL. Thanks for taking the time to list all that! Thank you! :)

Angieandextra - I'm so sorry for your losses and I am :fingerscrossed: 'ing my fingers for you sweetie. Hope things work out this time. Keep me posted!!!

I think it will be alot easier once I tell my family and friends that I am pregnant to see what I can buy off them and then i'll post on here with what I need and if any of you have something you are able to sell to me.

[floggadog]

Just wanted to tell you about a book which became my bible called Baby Love by Robin Barker I've added a link to one listed on ebay here (http://cgi.ebay.com.au/Baby-Love-by-Robin-Barker_W0QQitemZ320169180554QQihZ011QQcategoryZ126 1QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem).
The other book which would benefit you greatly right now is by Janet Balaskas. I wish I'd had this book for my first pregnancy.The ebay listing link is here (http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ACTIVE-BIRTH-JANET-BALASKAS-childbirth-guide-s-c_W0QQitemZ200162574553QQihZ010QQcategoryZ29315QQs sPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem).
As for everything else, don't stock up on baby shampoo or soaps or moisturisers . I found all I ended up using was either plain water or a Natural Instinct baby wash from the chemist. One bottle has lasted me a year.As for the rest, they can end up drying out bubs skin, & if bubs skin isn't dry you don't need moisuriser.
& as I said before, become a Freecycle member
The link for Newcastle Freecycle is here (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/newcastlefreecycle/). They have 3400 members. Join up & post that you've become pregnant unexpectantly & are looking for any help, baby furniture, & capsule etc that might be available & I'm sure you'll have everything you need very quickly for nothing.
It's free to join.
Good luck , if I think of anything else i'll post it later :)

[MoonstoneMumma]

congrats madi - a baby is such a blessing, and no matter what, there is always money for one. as some one said before there is no perfect time when it comes to money and babies. normally most people wait until they have a house and then a mortgage they will never pay off!



I think it will be alot easier once I tell my family and friends that I am pregnant to see what I can buy off them and then i'll post on here with what I need and if any of you have something you are able to sell to me.

you will be very surpirised at how much people want to buy you!

congrats again and you will find that all the lovely ladies on bubhub are always willing to help!

[Suzie]

I just wanted to say Congratulations. It really sounds like you have already made up your mind. Good for you. Having a baby is a very scary and yet exciting and exhilerating time. I get excited just hearing about other people who are pregnant!
I just wanted to say that having a baby is not necessarily expensive at all and some things really arent all that necessary and more "just coz you want them" or dont know better. It wasnt until I had my second that I realised just how much money I wasted with my first baby.
Definatly lay-by clothes and blankets, you will be given heaps of clothes, second hand shops are great as babies out grow clothes before they outwear them.
I have not used a cot at all with DD2 as she sleeps with us and has recently only just moved into a porta-cot next to our bed. So if you choose to go that way, you can cross off your list all cot associated costs and just buy some fitted sheets and wraps and a few light blankets.
I very very rarely use a pram and much prefer a sling which will get you through from newborn to toddler and at a cost of $50, was much cheaper than a pram.
I agree with the cloth nappy, although I use terry flats as they are sooo cheap and easy although if I could afford the upfront cost of MCNs Id definatly get a heap of those.
Breastfeeding, definatly a very very economical and healthy choice. I make DD2s food from vegies I have at home, fruit that I buy for all of us, grains from a health food shop and farex (my daughter has intollerences, so no custards or anything like that). Its heaps cheap and easy.
Basically, if you think about it, all you need is something to clothe your baby, some way to feed your baby, and somewhere for it to sleep. Thats it. Everything else is an add on, and if you look on-line, you can find very wise women who can show you how to get around costs of things by making them or whatever. And lastly, you will be given heaps of stuff by friends, family and in-laws. They cant help themselves! :laughing:
Good luck on your exciting new journey!