OMG got to vent or I will implode!

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

so this is a small vent because I am right this second so upset and DH not here...
today DH rang his children, only to at the end of the call hear his ex yelling ask your father to put maintenance in for the show (Perth Royal Show). My DH calmly asked to speak to her(rather than involve a 10 year old in adult affairs)...and said I am in credit with the CSA and ahead of your payments, she shouted oh no you arent I know you are behind actually. DH just calmly stated he wasnt, and she said oh well, thats where all that extra money came from I was wondering. No apology or anything, she always tells her partner we dont pay so I guess that was the reason she didnt want to apologise.

So upset because a) she constantly asks for extra money and in front of the kids makes out always late. HE ISNT.
b) To me maintenance should be for the basics and schooling and clothes etc, not for the Show - and she also told his DD to tell him they are going to a flash hotel for 3 nights this week, despite always crying that she hasnt got money for school uniform or to take DSD to see doctors.
c) She is not hard up by any means or a single parent anymore...she is infact repartnered to someone very wealthy and it disgusting she making my DH look like a miser in front of his children. Especially when he works so hard and AWAY to make sure they are provided for, and infact we are really struggling at mo.


Worse than that is DH has applied for a COA as he is earning less, and it sounds like she not even had info, despite conference shortly...God knows what she will say to the kids then. Makes me so mad that she even talks about it with them...

SORRY vent over ;)

[hayleysmummy]

IMO and yes I recieve Child support

If he is up to date and paying the right amount (which it sounds like he is) then she needs to back off and be happy with what she has got

Fair enough if the kids where staying with you guys then yes of course he would pay for the show

She sounds like 1 greedy B!tch to me
Dont let him give them any $$$ she should do it


:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

Thats what hurts is the fact I know there are people out there that dont do the right thing...but we always have...and she gets a large sum a month...which is fair enough as that what DH assessed as paying. But to do all the above is what makes my blood boil...she would have received over $1000 on the 21st form the CSA...as I said we are actually always a fortnight ahead...:(

[KarniF00l]

awww that breaks my heart that she's putting the kids in the middle of it and asking them to ask their dad for the maintenance. My mother use to do the exact same thing to us kids and it use to tear me apart because I hated asking dad for the money. It was only to 'remind' him, but I knew our father never failed paying it on time. I'm sorry to hear that your DSS and DSD are going through that. Can you talk to your DH and ask him to talk to his ex about putting the kids in the middle ? It sounds like the ex is doing it just to be nasty. If she has any sense she would know not to do that to the kids.

As for asking for more $$ so the kids could go to the show.. hmm.. I don't know, if it were me and if I could spare the money then I would have given it so they can make a day out of it, but if I couldn't afford it then no.

I hope it all works out okay :hugs:

[Tea Lady]

What a terrible thing to do to her daughter :thumbsdown:

I'm sorry you're in such a horrible situation - it sounds like you're doing the right thing at least. :hugs:

[Nickster]

I understand where you're coming from, mytillieroo. We have been there for many years, and there's really not much you can do except be honest about your situation with the children when you see them. I'm sure they can see you're struggling, and don't have the extra funds for outings.

Your DH has the right attitude though - just calmly refer everything the ex says back to the CSA, letting her know he's paying what he should, and not let it get to him (or at least not show her it gets to him ;) ).

How many years of this do you have left?

[MissBrightside]

Its women like this that gives single mums a bad name.
She sounds selfish and if you are ahead csa will see that, don't give her anymore you guys sound like you are doing the right thing for your dh's kids.
That would make me mad too!

[Mum&bubs]

She sounds very selfish and greedy. I think it's very wrong of her to involve the children in matters like this, it would just confuse them.

Sounds like yous are doing the right thing though, just stick to your guns :hugs:

[KapowSchazam]

It is horrid that she'd do that to her child. She sounds very greedy and like she puts receiving money over respecting her child and her child's father. :shame:

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

We have a long time left - 8 years with DSD and 13 with DSS...hopefullythe relationship will improve one day! Yes I never understand why she has to drag kids into the finance side of it...
We not giving them pocket money for the show, we have taken them for the past 2 years and spoilt them rotten, DH works away and this year it falls that he not home for it. We are actually buying them a showbag each through a friend who is going...and we have them the 2nd week of school hols and will do stuff with them then. Its just sad because their mother has decided to take them this year and it is her treat, yet my DH now looking like a monster for absolutely no credible reason.

[Nickster]

So, 13 years to go altogether? That's rough.

I agree it's not fair to drag the children into the financial side of things, or for her to try and give your DH a bad name, but she's only doing it to make herself look better.....of course, that doesn't excuse that sort of behaviour, but it does give an explanation.

Hang in there, keep your head held high.

Luckily we've got bubhub to have a bit of a vent on, and that there are other parents in the same situation who understand!:thumbsup:

[Starlet]

Oh gosh hun, this on top of all the other **** she has done! *hugs* I can totally see this happening to us when DSD is old enough to remember what mum tells her to ask us when she comes here.

What a real piece of work, seriously our stepkids mothers must come from the same gene pool or something LOL.

I HATE it when they try to use the kids as pawns. I would never dream of doing that to a child!!!!

[pegasus]

Hi G :wave: just wanted to add my support.

What a piece of work?!!

I absolutely hated it when I heard times that my DSK's went to the show with $80 to spend when we wouldn't dream of spending that on ourselves (heck - we went to the show on Sunday - Spent no more than $120 for all four of us including entry, showbags, clowns, trainfares, etc for two adults, two kids you get the picture).

Why oh why do some parents have to make it out as though the amount of money given equals the amount that the parent loves their child?

It is nothing to do with it!!!!

Okay - no more to say - just more :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: